RE: when did you realize this was for you?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: when did you realize this was for you?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: when did you realize this was for you?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/1/2008 10:34:20 PM

starshineowned

Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline

Greetings..

Think I was around 7 when I started doing things with another little girl that would be considered deviant behavior. It changed to more exploritory behavior with a different female around 13, and at that same age it went full blown to omg Men! Having them touch me and do things sexually in a commanding way just sent me on a never ending path for that control but more complete and not just sexually once I became an adult. I'm just thankful that I continued to persue and learn instead of letting society lock me up.

Well Wishes

starshine

_____________________________

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." --Abraham Lincoln

(in reply to NazjamRa)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/2/2008 4:28:55 AM

hellfarmer

Posts: 6
Joined: 11/26/2008
Status: offline

My journey in this lifestyle has arced and changed over the years. when I was much younger I dated a very domineering mean woman who I totally adored. I was a total sub to her (even though I didn't realize it at the time). It was aggravating to me because I had always been a domineering person. But being unexperienced with women and wanting desperately to make things work I subbed out. Over time I grew to enjoy that role. So as that relationship died and others began I grew to understand this in the context of roleplaying and indentified myself as a sub. Later on I felt this was just me trying to ingratiate myself to women to make them not leave me. I felt it wasnt the real me so I became very dominant in my dealings with women. I like being in control. It feels natural. Trained a few subs etc. And over time I realised that both of these are mental states that come from within and that both parts are natural to me. I can do either, and get my mind and heart into without it simply being 'play'. So I guess I'm a switch. Just not in a superficial playtime only sort of way. I truly can embrace either depending on circumstance.

(in reply to SweetCherries)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/2/2008 4:49:29 AM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

When I was two years old and saw Catwoman on TV for the first time. That was it. I was done for.

(in reply to NazjamRa)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/2/2008 10:33:34 AM

Jeptha

Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

I have always sought to create a power exchange dynamic in my relationships with varying success. Some turned into serious power struggles as I was trying to impose a dynamic upon someone who found it quite disagreeable.

I discovered this had a name when I was 30, and have had much greater success (and happiness) in my relationships once I understood how to consciously construct them with a willing partner.

John

I recall my first serious girlfriend crying because she felt that I was "objectifying her".
At the time I didn't have the tools at all to explain it to her ( ~ or to really understand it myself.)

Even beyond that, though, as a juvenile I always had strange tastes in porn (when I could find it - that was pre-internet) which seemed indicative of something...

Even as a little kid, while I would not say that I had a dominant personality, still I knew that everything adults said and did was bullshit (practically speaking), so , if not dominant, I at least had an independent streak.

So there's always been little red flags, but I didn't get hold of some concepts to match them up with until much later.

< Message edited by Jeptha -- 12/2/2008 10:34:47 AM >

(in reply to Rover)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/2/2008 11:21:35 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SageFemmexx

lol, I was in grade school. Cowboys and Indians were the game for me....and I always wanted to be the one captured and tied up! Yay!

Same here, but I think even younger and I wanted to be the cowboy who caught the Indians and tied them up and made them get naked. Yeah, I know perverted.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to SageFemmexx)

Profile

Post #: 45

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/2/2008 11:37:29 AM

MstrPBK

Posts: 573
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline

I first realized it was for me in the 80's but did not act on it til the 90's when I stumbled upon my first slave. It was a match from hell, but I learned a lot about who I was and what Master and slaves were about. Still here and still looking.

MstrPBK
St. Paul, MN

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)

Profile

Post #: 46

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/2/2008 12:25:49 PM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

I’m going to elaborate a lot more because it makes me feel warm and fuzzy when I talk about my early forays into bdsm. Excuse my lengthy post, but like I said, it turns me on to write about it all.

I had these early feelings, but had to keep them suppressed for many years. As MsterPBK said, I finally stumbled upon a submissive open enough to tell me her desires and I had lots of fun with her while it opened my eyes to possibilities.

Still with her, I was not skilled and didn’t understand how to space her. A few bdsm books were out there, but they were basically porn. I remember one to this day…ha.

After her, over the years, I would come upon women who would like rough play, spanking or whipping which I was happy to give them, but I didn’t progress with my knowledge of skills and understanding of people into things.

With the coming of the online community, I developed and I met an experienced submissive there who gradually shared her knowledge in polite, subtle ways so that the full possibilities and the art of bdsm started to come to me.

I suspect the women I met early on who only wanted to be whipped or whatever also grew and learned as the internet took hold. Time in chatrooms with many submissives smarter than I was, more skilled in bdsm and probably lots more moral, ha, gradually changed my views and tolerance of others.

The realization that D/s and bdsm were inherent drives and special things slowly changed my views of submissives. I stopped looking at them as weaker women without morals and started to respect them. So I arrived in my understanding and with my skills at about the same time. Funny how that works.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to MstrPBK)

Profile

Post #: 47

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/2/2008 3:33:26 PM

CFslaves

Posts: 1019
Joined: 10/28/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NazjamRa

When was the first time that you realized that you enjoyed the lifestyle how old were you? I was about 22 when I truly started to explore on a deeper level for before that it was just plain curiosity.

well interst in things that were classified bdsm started at about 16 found out there was a name for and delved deep into at age 19 and wont go back LOL

(in reply to NazjamRa)

Profile

Post #: 48

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/4/2008 10:45:37 AM

smackdown54

Posts: 2
Joined: 12/3/2008
From: Michigan
Status: offline

I would say for me i first realized it in my first long term relationship when i was 18. I realized something was different before that considering every date i ever went on was because i was asked out and not the other way around (shyness IMO a submissive tendency). But it didnt dawn on me until that relationship and how the dynamics of that relationship developed. Ever since then ive had a clue about what i was meant to be but have suppressed it until about a month ago.

(in reply to CFslaves)

Profile

Post #: 49

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/4/2008 12:13:40 PM

MistressRouge

Posts: 876
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Birmingham West Midlands UK
Status: offline

Mentally from the age of around 7 years old, practising my manipulation skills with my younger siblings

Actual play, I was 17 years old with my first vanilla boyfriend, who asked me to walk on his back with my high heels

I was horrified at first, if he could see me now! lol

_____________________________

My Members Site.
http://mistressrougeuk.c4slive.com/

http://www.clips4sale.com/store/13392

(in reply to NazjamRa)

Profile

Post #: 50

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/4/2008 12:44:08 PM

Gleegal67

Posts: 218
Joined: 6/18/2007
From: Phoenix
Status: offline

Ages;
5-6 / trapped in a blanket and being tickled til I cried "Mercy!" Locked in a closet by my brother...and I was happy!

7-12 / playing cowboys & indians and I was always the damsel in distress, playing war and being interrogated...all day long, playing house and I was always the Mommy that got in trouble by the Daddy...spankings, being tied up, blindfolded, had to show my girlie parts for 10 seconds (to my cousins/friends at the same age as I)

13-16 / wild child having sex for the first time on the beach next to the fire and asking to be tied to the log while taking my cherry...he was very accommodating. After that - I was on the loose looking for more adventures!

17-19 / met up with a private bdsm swinger group - had no clue there were names for all the stuff I was doing - let alone know that bdsm could be so...organized! I was their toy for 2 years...first time I met a Dominatrix and private dungeons....all very cool!

20-current / still having fun learning and doing all the lovely things that bring joy to others and myself!

My answer...pretty much my whole life...and I wouldn't have it any other way!!!

_____________________________

~always the gleeful one~

(in reply to MistressRouge)

Profile

Post #: 51

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/4/2008 10:31:40 PM

Araven

Posts: 149
Joined: 3/16/2006
Status: offline

I probably realized this was for me, or something I wanted in my late teens.. but it has been ingrained in me since a very early age. I always liked to feel helpless and have the control taken from me :)

_____________________________

beloved pet of Mistress Joy (JoyfulMistress)

(in reply to Gleegal67)

Profile

Post #: 52

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/4/2008 10:39:48 PM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I'd been involved in D/s relationships prior to what I would consider the major epiphany...which only came about recently. Enough exes suggesting I should pursue partners who are actively seeking a D/s dynamic jogged my head into a place where it suddenly dawned on me.

It wasn't so much a thing previously of trying to make apples of oranges, I've just never been a "pursuer" in the firswt place, so interactions usually started by accident.

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to Rover)

Profile

Post #: 53

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/5/2008 2:12:22 PM

theobserver

Posts: 456
Joined: 8/18/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NazjamRa

When was the first time that you realized that you enjoyed the lifestyle how old were you? I was about 22 when I truly started to explore on a deeper level for before that it was just plain curiosity.

Early this past Summer a switch was flipped inside of me. I still don't fully understand where I'm headed or what aspect of this lifestyle I ultimately settle into, but I've acknowledged and accepted that it is a part of me.

I think I was running away from that fact for the past couple of years.

I find it hard to specifically answer your question because there hasn't been anything specific that stands out to say ... aha! Everything has been gradual - just situations, conversations and stirrings inside of me.

_____________________________

It is left up to the reader to decipher & determine this post's validity.

(in reply to NazjamRa)

Profile

Post #: 54