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RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 6:40:11 PM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I have been dominant in my relationships since my very first friendship. My kindergarten teacher thought I couldn't tie my shoes, because I had 2 little boys tying them for me all the time. I learned there was a name for it and other people doing it around the age of 20.

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Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to NazjamRa)

Post #: 21

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 8:11:45 PM

MarsBonfire

Posts: 1034
Joined: 3/6/2005
Status: offline

I distinctly remember having bondage fantasies when I was about 6 or 7... usually, I rolled myself up in a blanket, and pretended to be "cocooned" by aliens or robots that were intent on studying me, and taking over my mind. Later, at recess, I always seemed to be the kid who played the POW, or captured cowboy during our playtime.

When I began to be interested in girls, I realized that my desire to be dominated by them was probably not going to win me any points during my early dateing experiences. (Nor was my bisexuality going to make me very popular.) It wasn't until I was 18, and moved out on my own to a larger city that I really began to experiment.

So I guess you could say I sort of "eased" into it.

(in reply to yourMissTress)

Post #: 22

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 8:16:52 PM

littleone20

Posts: 1
Joined: 3/30/2007
Status: offline

I became actively involved in the "lifestyle" when I was 18, but realized my submissive tendencies in my early teens. I can look back on my childhood, and see tendencies there as well.

(in reply to yourMissTress)

Post #: 23

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 8:19:05 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Honestly, I realized this was for me when my mentor said "You know, I think the BDSM lifestyle might be for you."

DV (OK clicked by DV's Fox)

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I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to MarsBonfire)

Post #: 24

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 8:29:54 PM

lilmissdefiant

Posts: 666
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline

I got into the lifestyle properly when I was 17...but like littleone20, I remember having submissive...thingys (for lack of a better word) in my early childhood about 6 was my earliest

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Resident Thread Killer

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 25

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 9:53:56 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

I grew up in Detroit and I am still a "Motor City bad boy" at heart. I learned some advanced lessons in life when I was in my teens. From the age of 13 to 15 I was employed and went to school. I also discovered sex, love, passion and the lifestyle. I met an older bisexual swinger who shared me with a string of her female lovers and they educated me... in everything. The plethora of swingers introduced me to a variety of light BDSM like bondage, electro play, blindfolds and fantasy role play as well as good old fashioned kink like watersports, the G-spot, how to give anal orgasms, multiple orgasms and female ejaculation.

I discovered the emotional side of BDSM with a girl named danita (click for story), in a very bizarre situation involving the practice of hypnosis from ages of 15 to 17. Despite the mild leather sex play the swingers had introduced me to, this was what I consider my first BDSM experience. I went on to have 3 long term lifestyle relationships with felicia, tamara and julie that spanned a 30 history of love, passion, adventure and emotional bliss.

I found the social side of BDSM through the swingers, one of which published the local swinger's magazine which also had BDSM and gay sections. That was how I learned of the The Eulenspiegel Society in New York and the local Stocks and Bonds club. Hanging out with the publisher of that magazine had it's perks. Even though I was underage, I could get into the bars, clubs and parties that advertised in it. The first public BDSM scene I witnessed was a gay boy tied to a cross and they cut a slit in his nut sack and inflated it with a straw. Growing up around the Leatherman exposes you to some of the more extreme S&M. It also clearly draws the lines between dominance and submission.

By the time I reached my 20s, by educated preference, I only had a taste for submissive females. I remained active in the BDSM community ever since. In all these years I have found I am never too old or too smart to learn something new.

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(in reply to lilmissdefiant)

Post #: 26

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 10:24:40 PM

MidMichCowboy

Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SageFemmexx
lol, I was in grade school. Cowboys and Indians were the game for me....and I always wanted to be the one captured and tied up! Yay!

I was always the Indian. I loved tying up the girls and forcing them to accept my kisses. Yes, I loved kissing girls when I was 7. I'm almost ashamed to admit the age of my first intimate experience. But, I held her hands over her head and made love to her. When I was sixteen, I spanked my first lady (she was about 12 years older). It's been a weird life for me, that I can tell you.

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I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

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Post #: 27

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/1/2008 10:51:31 AM

kwsub1466

Posts: 12
Joined: 4/9/2008
Status: offline

When I was 4 and put myself in the corner.

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 28

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/1/2008 11:58:10 AM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

55 years of age here is when I started to look into being submissive. Now I been reviewing my life and have seen there were so many submissive traits within me, but I just shoved them deeper within me.

oceanwynds

(in reply to kwsub1466)

Post #: 29

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/1/2008 4:03:41 PM

VMistressV

Posts: 78
Joined: 12/29/2007
Status: offline

Hmm, well I sort of had an inkling when I was 5 and Momsy dearest sent me to a therapist for tying up my barbie dolls a little too much. I too gravitated to the more primal or violent role play games in school. And I took the lead in all my vanilla relationships with mostly ok results. So I behaved in kinky ways without really think about what I was doing to those "poor boys". But I only recently remembered that there were names and communities for what I did. and for the first time I found myself interested in what other people were doing.
So I guess the short answer is, pretty much my whole life.

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(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 30

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/1/2008 4:15:28 PM

marie2

Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline

It was always lurking in the corners of my mind since my early childhood years. It sort of worked it's way into a couple of relationships in very subtle ways, but I never really could put my finger on it, nor did I understand it or recognize it for what it was.
About 9 years ago (when I was 35 *yikes*) I found out there was a whole "sub culture" of people just like me, and that's when I really began to explore it. Now I can't imagine things being any other way for me.

(in reply to NazjamRa)

Post #: 31

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/1/2008 4:28:03 PM

SirJeremy

Posts: 7
Joined: 11/27/2008
Status: offline

Always had a dominant personality with thoughts and desires foreign to most I knew... it wasn't until my late teens that I felt comfortable enough to explore them with my gf at the time... at that point there really was not internet to speak of so we just thought we were freaks (well, actually...) I was extremely pleased to discover that there people all over who shared the similar beliefs and kinks or endulged in a way of life alternative to the norm (whatever that is)

(in reply to marie2)

Post #: 32

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/1/2008 4:53:32 PM

MsFlutter

Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NazjamRa

When was the first time that you realized that you enjoyed the lifestyle how old were you? I was about 22 when I truly started to explore on a deeper level for before that it was just plain curiosity.

I remember very strong thoughts in my early teens, and being torn between (what I now know to be) submissive and dominant tendencies. Being raised in a rabidly religious guilt-laden household made it a serious mindbender. Fifteen years later, I would discover like-minded individuals. After several years as a submissive, it became apparent that I was better suited to the dominant side of the street.

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"The right data, filtered through an idiot, can yield a bad answer." einstien5201

(in reply to NazjamRa)

Post #: 33

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/1/2008 5:11:23 PM

youQadesh

Posts: 84
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline

Sorry this is long but I read other peoples responses and I just wanted more of the juicy details! So here are mine...

Well, it's a strange story, really. When I was fourteen my best friend Kate had an older brother who was 17, Dan. I was totally infatuated with him. He was funny, creative, a little 'goth' (which at the time I thought was cool). Not to mention he was really a good hearted person. He was tall, wore a black trench coat even when it was hot, had long black hair (that I would do anything to play with). Our personalities really clicked, so when I would sleep over Kate's house(who funny enough to this day is still my closest friend) Dan and I would hang out after she fell asleep.

We started joking around one night that i was his slave. It progressed over time and we began meeting only as slave and master some times. We had names for each other when we played this game. His was Magi, and mine was Morg. He drafted a contract and even had a crystal he supposedly kept my soul in. It sounds so silly now, and at the time I really just thought it was a silly game at first, and it was something special we did. Besides the fact that I was utterly infatuated with him there was nothing sexual about what we were doing. It was innocent.

At some point he began to say he wanted to tantalize me. I told him he wouldn't be able too (playing hard to get). He said if I let him do what ever he wanted to me then he would certainly be able to tantalize me. BY this time I was 15. He dared me to give him free reign to tantalize me.

So I agreed, saying it wouldn't work. That first night he tide me in a closet. he told me to stand there while he sat back in his bed so he could watch me skirm. Mind you, no intimate touching went on, and we were both fully clothed. He didn't even have a boner. he would come over and tickle me (in very appropriate places. I just remember being so turned on, wondering why he didn't do more, but being afraid that he would. I was young and had only kissed a boy.

The next time we met. He said he had a new plan to tantalize me. He said he would hog tie me and blind fold me. He would hide a key on the floor and if I would find it hogtied and blindfolded then I would be rewarded. So he tied me up and I found the key quickly. He was very pleased and gave me a back massage. Still no clothes taken off, nothing sexual happening. Then he wanted me to do something else. I don't remember what it was but I refused. He said if I refused I would be punished(which is the main reason I refused...hehehe) SO he tied each of my wrists and ankles to each corner of the bed, blindfolded me, and left me there for a while. He snick in with out being detected and began tickling me with a feather. The he would get very close, as close as you could get without touching me, and breathed on my skin from my toes up to my neck and face. I really thought this would be the time where he would kiss me and take my clothes off, though he never did.

Nothing ever came from this relationship. Year later when I told him how infatuated I was with him, and how he could have gotten any thing he wanted from me. He said he didn't know I was that into him and that he didnt want to take advantage of me. Then he tried getting with me but by that time I was no longer interested in him. Those memories of being ties up, and "tantalized" always stuck with me though. And just thinking about it turns me on. If it weren't for him who knows if I would even be as kinky as I am now. Some sexologists believe that earlier experiences of arousal determine largely what will arouse you in later years so whose to say I would have ever been kinky were it not for him.

< Message edited by youQadesh -- 12/1/2008 5:13:18 PM >

(in reply to NazjamRa)

Post #: 34

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/1/2008 5:27:49 PM

porcelain26

Posts: 181
Joined: 11/16/2007
Status: offline

I didn't know what it was called until I was 15, but I've been submissive since the day I was born (to the best of my knowledge anyway). I remember having fantasies about being a 'devoted' housewife when I was 3...and other things that I won't discuss in polite company *laughing*

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 35

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/1/2008 5:32:17 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

I discovered this had a name when I was 30, and have had much greater success (and happiness) in my relationships once I understood how to consciously construct them with a willing partner.

John

Instead of trying to answer questions intelligently, why don't I just follow John around saying ditto. Except I was older when I happened upon the word submissive and had an AHA moment.

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Slave to laundry

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Post #: 36

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/1/2008 5:52:34 PM

toddlefeet

Posts: 129
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: offline

I knew this was for me since I was almost "little." spanking was a prominant in my house growing up. my mother had always been the one to discipline me while my father always disciplined my adopted siblings. my mother refused to let my father discipline me. ( I'm the baby of the family.) When my mother wasnt home and my older siblings and parents were out..my mother had a my big sisters female friend Rhonda baby sit me all the time. she loved to spank me every chance she got. everytime my mom left me with her, thw 1st thing Rhonda would do was look for a reason to spank me. she was very loving but very dominant as well. my family went on a trip to california and decided to leave me with Rhonda and her mother for the week to watch over me till they got back. Rhonda worked during the day & nightschool at night so her mom would watch me as well. Rhonda's mom and my mom where just alike in the discipline area as well. Since then..through out my life. I've had girlfriends that knew about my lifestyle and liked to spank and were more than willing to be particepatory.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 37

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/1/2008 6:08:32 PM

toddlefeet

Posts: 129
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: offline

I noticed Some people here have myspace. I'd like to share my page as well.

http://www.myspace.com/immortalbreath
The page title is named after my Vampire book I'm still trying to finish writing.
Writers block Sucks ass. And What is the Subbie Mafia?? 0.o

(in reply to toddlefeet)

Post #: 38

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/1/2008 6:13:31 PM

kristileigh

Posts: 1078
Joined: 3/23/2008
Status: offline

it was just a couple of years ago. i knew i was definately submissive, and when my children got older i was ready to explore. And boy did i! lol

(in reply to NazjamRa)

Post #: 39

RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 12/1/2008 10:27:43 PM

SweetCherries

Posts: 3
Joined: 10/31/2007
Status: offline

i was about 7 ( yeah I know ) Oh well

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Post #: 40

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