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RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 10:57:38 AM

NazjamRa

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When was the first time that you realized that you enjoyed the lifestyle how old were you? I was about 22 when I truly started to explore on a deeper level for before that it was just plain curiosity.

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RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 11:05:15 AM

SadysticJester

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when i visited germany at 18 and was taken to a dungeon party,,from that point on its been there ever since..

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RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 11:05:58 AM

SageFemmexx

Posts: 240
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lol, I was in grade school. Cowboys and Indians were the game for me....and I always wanted to be the one captured and tied up! Yay!

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RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 11:13:27 AM

flower2007

Posts: 120
Joined: 4/14/2007
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When I got unlimited internet access after college and realized that I wasn't the only person in the world who thought like this. Before that, it was just a dream, now I realize it's something I can actually live and am trying to take steps towards making it a reality.

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RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 11:21:35 AM

utopicus

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It has always been in me and it started to manifest in puberty. However, it was like 25 years later that I truly accepted it.

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RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 11:22:14 AM

pompeii

Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
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Now that I've been here only a year, I realize this question, without even looking, has been asked dozens of times so my response will be uncharacteristically brief, merely to edify the OP and not the general populace (who has seen this question time and time again).

It appears to me, now that I'm a self-proclaimed world-famous psychologist (heh heh) that there is imprinting going on in all of us at early impressionable ages.

For me, that imprinting occurred in elementary school, as I remember wanting to spank my second and third grade teachers. I don't know the actual imprinting event (there are many potential candidates) nor what ages we are most susceptible to BDSM imprinting .... for that, I'll let others respond.

Ciao,
Pompeii

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RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 12:22:34 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NazjamRa

When was the first time that you realized that you enjoyed the lifestyle how old were you? I was about 22 when I truly started to explore on a deeper level for before that it was just plain curiosity.

And exactly what is "the lifestyle"?

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RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 12:34:57 PM

Viridana

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The oldest memory I have of my masochism was at the age of 4. I of course didn't know what it was, nor that there was anything "abnormal" about it. I got a name for what I had all the time been doing about the age of 12, that is masochism. When I got older and older there were always some fantasies including BDSM and sadomasochism especially but I really didn't dive into the lifestyle (that is found myself a partner on the basis of practicing BDSM together) until I was 24.

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RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 12:44:28 PM

trealeon

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My girlfriend in college was so naturally submissive and wanting to be "under" me, it brought out my dominant side (which I guess was always there). We both realized that the kind of relationship we wanted was a Dom/sub relationship and it just grew from there with her eventually becoming my slave. I was about 21 at the time.

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RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 1:41:21 PM

Aszhrae

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Girl was a child when it all started. Aggressive behavior was always either medicated until girl was zombied or was required to spend quiet time or placed in a room with nothing but me sitting there brooding. It started early and the eventuality of girl becoming a submissive is girl's reaction to such treatment.
It was easier to just accept direction and guidance from others as that was how girl was conditioned. Behavior modification by medication and routinely disciplined when girl did not behave appropriately.
Girl would say that awareness of what girl had become, really started at the age of 13.

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RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 1:42:25 PM

moonvine

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Me too!

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RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 4:19:34 PM

mummyman321

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I was 25 before I realized this was the lifestyle for me. But I would say it took another 5 years for me to really understand why I liked it so much.

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RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 4:43:05 PM

kiwisub12

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OK - i admit it - i can be very dim - i was 48 when i discovered my submissive/masochistic tendencies. Actually, i was submissive for most of my life - i just didn't know that anyone else could compliament me - instead of taking advantage. The whole "bdsm" lifestyle was the best thing to ever happen to me.

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RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 4:46:52 PM

sexisubi

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when i didnt start exploring exploring until i was about 20... but i knew before that that i was into things that were 'taboo.'

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RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 4:46:53 PM

joshua69

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Last Thursday. Wow, was I shocked.

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RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 4:47:32 PM

persephonee

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dammit...i was just gonna say.....

harumph
perse

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RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 5:20:51 PM

DavanKael

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I realized I wanted power dynamics in my relationship when I was 19 or 20.
Davan

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RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 5:31:20 PM

leadership527

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I've been enjoying "my lifestyle" for most of my life. My lifestyle has included taking ownership of my wife for about a year now.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
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RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 5:47:49 PM

LadyPact

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I was 31. You do the math.

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RE: when did you realize this was for you? - 11/30/2008 5:59:30 PM

Rover

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I have always sought to create a power exchange dynamic in my relationships with varying success. Some turned into serious power struggles as I was trying to impose a dynamic upon someone who found it quite disagreeable.

I discovered this had a name when I was 30, and have had much greater success (and happiness) in my relationships once I understood how to consciously construct them with a willing partner.

John

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