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Eye and Speech Restrictions - 11/12/2008 3:23:12 AM   
lilmissdefiant


Posts: 666
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline 		I have always wondered how Eye and Speech restrictions work and how they are enforced, because I have no idea, can someone please help me out, any and all advice is appreciated

thanks


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RE: Eye and Speech Restrictions - 11/12/2008 3:51:54 AM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline 		Mmm I just tell my girl..not to talk or look down when she did something I disliked...but what was not so bad.
Don't need to do much for it..just say it...and keep an eye on her ;)

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RE: Eye and Speech Restrictions - 11/12/2008 4:09:41 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmissdefiant

I have always wondered how Eye and Speech restrictions work and how they are enforced, because I have no idea, can someone please help me out, any and all advice is appreciated

thanks



The word of the dominant to look down or not talk is all that should be needed to enforce this restriction. If the sub decides she is going to look around and keep talking then clearly she is not 'into' this unless she just wants to be forced and I suppose that could be fun too!

I had two fem subs in a club... Waves to maisy if she is reading this!!!... I put them both on eye and speech deprivation and instructed them to walk 3 steps behind me for the evening. The hardest thing for them was that they knew loads of people and these people kept coming up to them and trying to talk!. At one point I got chatting to a friend and turned round to see them both looking and giggling with my ex partner who was chiding them to talk.
The punishment was for both of them to kneel on all fours facing each other at the entrance to the club. Everyone who passed knew they were being punished and the humiliation of that was enough.

I love putting people on eye and speech deprivation and I do hope maisy reads this and remembers those good times !

< Message edited by allthatjaz -- 11/12/2008 4:10:51 AM >

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RE: Eye and Speech Restrictions - 11/12/2008 5:42:28 AM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmissdefiant

I have always wondered how Eye and Speech restrictions work and how they are enforced, because I have no idea, can someone please help me out, any and all advice is appreciated

thanks



Stop staring  at me with those puppy eyes and shup !

See ?

Your welcome.


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RE: Eye and Speech Restrictions - 11/12/2008 5:49:30 AM   
SadysticJester


Posts: 122
Joined: 6/24/2008
Status: offline 		these can be for punishment and or training,,,i use them for both,and yes it sounds to some stupid mixing the 2 but it does work within my realm of things and how i do them..when training a slave i use the eye/speech restriction as just that a training tool...but doing so during punishment/correction needs a slightly different approach and needs to be explained either beofre hand or immediately after,,usually the acts them selves are self explanatory by the tones of voice of the looks i give,,but the infraction is what needs to be explained especially if they are not aware and or conflicted as to what was done wrong.

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RE: Eye and Speech Restrictions - 11/12/2008 7:30:48 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

The punishment was for both of them to kneel on all fours facing each other at the entrance to the club. Everyone who passed knew they were being punished and the humiliation of that was enough.

Ugh that would be so annoying to me, first thing I do when I walk into a club and I have to deal with someone else's negative downer punishment energy?  I'm looking for a happy fun exciting time and now I've got to wash all that crap off.  Yeah, thanks.

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RE: Eye and Speech Restrictions - 11/12/2008 7:53:51 AM   
ApathyRomance


Posts: 106
Joined: 4/2/2008
Status: offline 		Smack 'em when they use the word  "random."

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RE: Eye and Speech Restrictions - 11/12/2008 8:23:26 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmissdefiant

I have always wondered how Eye and Speech restrictions work and how they are enforced, because I have no idea, can someone please help me out, any and all advice is appreciated

thanks



I find them very useful during training because it helps the sub focus and figure out what is important to them.

We have very few speaking rules in my household and no eye rules except if I tell to move your gaze you do it.

You simply practice it and I find positive feedback or ignoring someone works great for enforcing and reenforcing the rules.

Can't call me by the appropriate title? Then I can't "hear" you and you will be ignored. If you use my title regularly and consistently, then you get a "I love when I hear "Mistress" from your mouth".

Can't look at me when I command it, then again, I guess this isn't the time to communicate and I walk away. You look at me and I comment on your pretty eyes.

After training it's usually second nature for someone to do these things then and not doing them becomes a sort of safeword for me.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 11/12/2008 8:24:58 AM >

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RE: Eye and Speech Restrictions - 11/12/2008 8:39:25 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

The word of the dominant to look down or not talk is all that should be needed to enforce this restriction. If the sub decides she is going to look around and keep talking then clearly she is not 'into' this unless she just wants to be forced and I suppose that could be fun too!



So in short, you are powerless, it is all about how obedient the sub is?  Interesting. 

And the punishment?  Lets see, they couldn't do one thing but did that anyway but they were then willing to be put on display and get lots of attention for being "bad"...yeah, we certainly won't see that behavior any time soon, LMFAO.  What a way to teach someone to do exactly what you don't want them to do.  Oh but then you got to play "big bad dom" and have a pile of women at the front door so you could play studmuffin.

Yawn.

Me, I do at times enjoy both eye and speech restrictions.  However, while I might enjoy seeing her in a predicament, I would also understand that it was in fact a predicament because my instructions were unclear enough to allow a predicament to happen and there is no "fault".  Not only that I would hope that my partner was intelligent to understand the spirit of my intent and to follow through with that and I would have the integrity to clarify my orders if they someone created or left open room for problems.


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RE: Eye and Speech Restrictions - 11/12/2008 8:41:59 AM   
WhiplashSmile2


Posts: 526
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline 		Speech Control including restrictions
Just a matter of controlling or limiting another persons speech.   It ranges from not allowing them to say anything at all.  To responding with simple Yes/No answers when you ask them a question.  To enforcing protocols such as adding "Sir/Master/Daddy" when addressing you.   Basically anything that deals with the contol of anothers speaking patterns.  You can forbid them from speaking unless spoken to and many other things.  Think you should be able to get the general idea here.  You can have somebody repeat back the things you say to them as well.  You can make somebody count from 1-100.  There are all kinds of things to do with speech control.

Eye control including contact restrictions.
Again pretty easy, you can tell them what they should be looking it or not looking it. To forbid somebody from looking directly into your eyes, or having them maintain eye contact.  You can have somebody look down to the floor, slightly lowered head.  You can have them focus upon staring at a specific object.  Can be as simple has telling them to close their eyes and not open them until you tell them otherwise.   You can even use a mirror and have them maintain eye contact with themself.  You can have them stare at a burning candle flame.  Well you should get a better idea of what it's all about now to control what somebody does or does not look at. 

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RE: Eye and Speech Restrictions - 11/12/2008 10:15:47 AM   
maisyjayne


Posts: 8
Joined: 9/27/2006
Status: offline 		[/quote]
The word of the dominant to look down or not talk is all that should be needed to enforce this restriction. If the sub decides she is going to look around and keep talking then clearly she is not 'into' this unless she just wants to be forced and I suppose that could be fun too!

I had two fem subs in a club... Waves to maisy if she is reading this!!!... I put them both on eye and speech deprivation and instructed them to walk 3 steps behind me for the evening. The hardest thing for them was that they knew loads of people and these people kept coming up to them and trying to talk!. At one point I got chatting to a friend and turned round to see them both looking and giggling with my ex partner who was chiding them to talk.
The punishment was for both of them to kneel on all fours facing each other at the entrance to the club. Everyone who passed knew they were being punished and the humiliation of that was enough.

I love putting people on eye and speech deprivation and I do hope maisy reads this and remembers those good times !
[/quote]


What an intense evening that was ....waves back to allthatjaz........
If you take the right spark, the right connection between Domme and submissive then these restrictions can be so amazing.  If you sit in a room with your eyes shut, every other sense starts to compensate, you notice things you never realised where there before, not being able to talk nor look at anyone was very much like this, our attention being almost 100% on allthatjaz.....well apart from the one time!!

I had a feeling of being completely looked after and protected ,Can you imagine our horror when we realised we had done something wrong, because the wrong doing was not intentional, and the time spent being punished seemed to stretch on for hours (it was more a matter of 20 minutes), this also strengthened the bond between myself and the other submissive, all we could do was hold hands. It was almost like meditiating.

So  believe me, being caught and punished was a good thing, it showed us that we were being watched, we were certainly not being put aside and ignored, all be it we were being watched from a small distance.

I really enjoyed that evening, it was hard work and so very exhausting, but I loved the challenge and felt so much more intune with allthatjaz after.  Smiles.....I will never forget nor regret  xxx

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RE: Eye and Speech Restrictions - 11/12/2008 10:21:19 AM   
maisyjayne


Posts: 8
Joined: 9/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

The word of the dominant to look down or not talk is all that should be needed to enforce this restriction. If the sub decides she is going to look around and keep talking then clearly she is not 'into' this unless she just wants to be forced and I suppose that could be fun too!



So in short, you are powerless, it is all about how obedient the sub is?  Interesting. 

And the punishment?  Lets see, they couldn't do one thing but did that anyway but they were then willing to be put on display and get lots of attention for being "bad"...yeah, we certainly won't see that behavior any time soon, LMFAO.  What a way to teach someone to do exactly what you don't want them to do.  Oh but then you got to play "big bad dom" and have a pile of women at the front door so you could play studmuffin.

Yawn.



I think it would very much depend on all the people involved, yes if you were in the habit of having a "bratty sub" on your arm then this punishment would certainly not be the correct way forward. From the perspective of the submissive involved I can tell you that the punishment was certainly not a chance to get "attention"  being that allthatjaz knows me and knows very much what my triggers are, she already knew that this would be a challenge for me, but also that she was punishing with care.

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RE: Eye and Speech Restrictions - 11/12/2008 11:19:26 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		I enjoy both speech control (including, but not limited to, things like "Order of address" and 3rd person speech), and eye-contact restrictions (lowered eyes at initial greeting and until given permission to look up; mandatory eye contact; etc.). We set the parameters as part of the protocols that our servants are trained in, and enforcement is actually minimal except during the early training/reminder period for most of our servants, because once they learn the protocols (aka patterns), they know which eye-contact forms and which speech forms to use in each given circumstance. If we have to punish over it, it is a symptom, for us, of a deeper discipline issue, so we rarely punish over such things, though we do extend disciplines and deal with outright disobedience just as we would for any other situation of forgetfulness or disobedience.

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RE: Eye and Speech Restrictions - 11/12/2008 12:49:01 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmissdefiant

I have always wondered how Eye and Speech restrictions work and how they are enforced, because I have no idea, can someone please help me out, any and all advice is appreciated

thanks


Eye Contact Restrictions:  I am one of those dominants who prefers the submissive look at me at all times.  I want to be able to look in her eyes as they do reveal much, though I am not so sure about them being the window to the soul.  However, with that said, my past submissives have been taught that if they were being corrected for an infraction, they were not to look at me (too much begging with the eyes seems to go on in these instances) and to look where they were told to look when they were told to look elsewhere or at me directly.  It has seemed to work well for me and is just one more way of adding a layer of structure to the dynamic.

Speech restrictions:  I've used this too.  I like to hear my given name out of my submissive's mouth once in awhile.  Personally, I feel like there is nothing quite like the sound of your own name spoken by the one who loves you in a way that others do not.  Since I enter into a D/s dynamic with someon that I am also in a relationship with, they need to remember the relationship side also needs addressing and taking care of.  So...when they have fallen into the habit of always addressing me as Sir or Master or Daddy and have forgotten to use my name, they've not been allowed to use the other titles.  They've also known that using my name when they are in trouble will only result in further discipline because the trouble comes about in the D/s dynamic not in the relationship dynamic.  They've been taught that when I say "no more talk", I mean no more talk...no matter what it is about...at that time. 

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RE: Eye and Speech Restrictions - 11/12/2008 1:17:32 PM   
monywildcat


Posts: 452
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline 		Oh, and here I thought the topic of conversation would be blindfolds and ball gags...

But seriously, even though I didn't ask the question, the responses have been quite educational.  Thanks ya'll!

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RE: Eye and Speech Restrictions - 11/12/2008 2:01:12 PM   
daviduk1


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/2/2008
Status: offline 		Wonders............. since when have punishments become uplifting and joyous ?

I suspect some buy a black tee shirt, a pair of black boots , oh and yes black trousers with a flogger hanging from the belt and suddenly assume they are a Dominant and therefore know everything........ sad bastards

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RE: Eye and Speech Restrictions - 11/12/2008 3:20:33 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

The punishment was for both of them to kneel on all fours facing each other at the entrance to the club. Everyone who passed knew they were being punished and the humiliation of that was enough.

Ugh that would be so annoying to me, first thing I do when I walk into a club and I have to deal with someone else's negative downer punishment energy?  I'm looking for a happy fun exciting time and now I've got to wash all that crap off.  Yeah, thanks.


LA,
Would you get that same "negative downer punishment energy" if instead of having them kneel at the door they were hung there with a wooden paddle and a sign tacked up next to them that said "we've been bad please spank us"?

Granted it would be an attempt at trying to involve you in their kink but not without your consent acknowledged by picking up the paddle. You could always just walk on by, or out for that matter. By most standards its pretty tame.

Thinking about it, I don't think I've ever even been to a club where someone wasn't having a 'punishment' scene of some sort, either real or contrived. Sometimes it's been corporal punishment, sometimes a manner of dress/undress, and sometimes just kneeling with their nose in the corner. Never once have seeing any of those things changed my mood or generated any negative energy.

Hell - seeing something like that coming in from the mean streets of LA would kinda set the mood for the rest of the night.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 11/12/2008 3:41:04 PM >

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RE: Eye and Speech Restrictions - 11/12/2008 3:29:59 PM   
maisyjayne


Posts: 8
Joined: 9/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

The punishment was for both of them to kneel on all fours facing each other at the entrance to the club. Everyone who passed knew they were being punished and the humiliation of that was enough.

Ugh that would be so annoying to me, first thing I do when I walk into a club and I have to deal with someone else's negative downer punishment energy?  I'm looking for a happy fun exciting time and now I've got to wash all that crap off.  Yeah, thanks.


So do you find you take on everyones negativity? Must be so exhausting for you, do you worry about every homeless person you pass on the street, does every newspaper headline bring you out in a cold sweat?

Life is about making mistakes, learning, growing...........doesn't have to be negative.

Perhaps, if you visit the UK at any point you should visit one or our clubs, I think you will find the atmosphere to be incredibly positive.

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RE: Eye and Speech Restrictions - 11/12/2008 6:12:45 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline 		I enjoy speech and eye contact restrictions immensely.  I tend to be all over the place doing 10 things at once, phone, computer, etc..    When He tells me to look down at one spot on the floor, when he restricts my speech, it quiets all the voices in my head and immediately brings me into the here and now.  It calms me much the same way meditation does.  He is very good at knowing just what I need...

< Message edited by BossyShoeBitch -- 11/12/2008 7:01:47 PM >

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RE: Eye and Speech Restrictions - 11/12/2008 8:05:55 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
Thinking about it, I don't think I've ever even been to a club where someone wasn't having a 'punishment' scene of some sort, either real or contrived. Sometimes it's been corporal punishment, sometimes a manner of dress/undress, and sometimes just kneeling with their nose in the corner. Never once have seeing any of those things changed my mood or generated any negative energy.

Hell - seeing something like that coming in from the mean streets of LA would kinda set the mood for the rest of the night.

If you're talking "funishment" then no, that's a fun kinky scene which happens to be playing on the dynamics of "punishment."

If you're talking actual punishment, then yes.  The energy is totally different when it's an actual punishment and very icky, not at all something I'd choose to be around.  I didn't say I'd SAY anything to them, or tell them to stop, I didn't even say they were doing anything wrong or against the rules.  Just that it would be really annoying for me to have to face that first thing coming in and expend energy right off to dispell it.



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