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Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 7:37:13 AM

panthersub

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If you knew that someone you work with is on here, how would you react to it? More so if it is inevitable that you can't not see them on a daily basis? Would it make you uncomfortable, nervous, excited?

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RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 7:40:52 AM

Rover

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I would be very wary about anything that could be brought into the workplace. It could become the unintential basis for dismissal if it's portrayed as some sort of harrassment.

If they contacted me first, I'd invite them to the next munch. Short of that, I'd keep my mouth shut.

But that's just me.

John

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RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 7:42:18 AM

stella41b

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I would be positive. But then again I run my own fringe theatre and all but one of those who work with me have profiles on the UK site Informed Consent.

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RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 7:44:42 AM

CallaFirestormBW

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I'm not what I'd consider 'overly' friendly at work. I actually -do- know a couple of folks who are involved in WIITWD at work (my workplace is huge-- larger than the population of the city I grew up in), but even though -I- am 'out', they might not be... so if I saw them at an out-of-work event, that would be cool, but I won't bring it up at work, even insofar as inviting someone from work to something or letting them know I've seen them on wherever.

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RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 7:45:03 AM

NuevaVida

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Unless the subject came out outside of work, I would likely not mention it. I would not mention it at the office or at a work function, however.

I remember years ago hanging out in chat room and talking to someone who ended up working in my own department. Now THAT was freaky...heh.

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RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 7:46:04 AM

LadyPact

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I'm out at work. It wouldn't be a big deal to Me at all. I'd be happy about it.

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RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 7:46:10 AM

Cyis75

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I've ran into co-workers at events that I hadn't thought they were involved and I worked with them regularly. I've also had a co-worker in the past leave a flyer for an event on my desk thinking I might enjoy it. My take is that if it doesn't affect work performance it isn't an issue and if they're there with me what can they really say. I've not been really worried about any of my co-workers knowing but not something I come out inform them but if it comes up it comes up.

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RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 8:03:52 AM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: panthersub

If you knew that someone you work with is on here, how would you react to it? More so if it is inevitable that you can't not see them on a daily basis? Would it make you uncomfortable, nervous, excited?

I wouldn't care... they are here... I am here... so what's would be the big deal?

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RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 8:08:16 AM

leadership527

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Everyone's experience is going to be different, partly because of personality makeup and partly because of life condition. For me, I have solidly decided that there is nothing wrong with what I am doing and I am willing to assert that to anyone who wishes to take issue with it. For me, perhaps, it's somewhat easier because WIITWD exists within the confines of a nice and safe marriage which is at least somewhat of a "seal of approval" in the eyes of the vanilla world.

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RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 8:13:02 AM

persephonee

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i dont beat where i eat.

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RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 8:13:58 AM

zakkan

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I think it would be cool. Gives me a chance to poke fun at them.

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RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 8:14:06 AM

Rover

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Everyone's experience is going to be different, partly because of personality makeup and partly because of life condition. For me, I have solidly decided that there is nothing wrong with what I am doing and I am willing to assert that to anyone who wishes to take issue with it. For me, perhaps, it's somewhat easier because WIITWD exists within the confines of a nice and safe marriage which is at least somewhat of a "seal of approval" in the eyes of the vanilla world.

In a work environment, the issue is less one of "approval" of WIITWD than it is one of the litigious nature of our society. Vanilla or BDSM, anything that is perceived to have a "sexual" connotation in the workplace runs the very real risk of violating company policy and may be grounds for dismissal.

The complaintant need not even be the individual with whom you interact. It can be anyone that may be witness to what is said or done, and feels offended as a result.

Blame the trial lawyers.

John

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RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 8:14:44 AM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: panthersub

If you knew that someone you work with is on here, how would you react to it? More so if it is inevitable that you can't not see them on a daily basis? Would it make you uncomfortable, nervous, excited?

It might make me curious but frankly this has nothing to do with any job I have where I interact with anyone on a daily or even regular basis thus none of this has any place in the workplace.

If we "work" together in a kink-related place or on a kink event, then it's cool and can talk about such things.

I'm pretty damned good at separating personal from professional matters.

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RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 8:29:06 AM

leadership527

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Yup John, I'm pretty intimately familiar with the relevant laws. I put in my time in the manager's desk too. It's just that I don't perceive WIITWD as a sexual act anymore than I think of my marriage as a sexual act. If I would have no issues saying to someone that carol and I are married, then I have no issues saying that she is my submissive. I would avoid the word "slave" because it would communicate poorly and carry racial implications. Just like I would be happy to discuss the workings of my marriage with someone at work (to at least some level of detail and skipping out on the sexual parts), I'd be willing to discuss my M/s relationship.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
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RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 8:31:48 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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since i'm the resident kinky person at the radio station, it wouldn't matter to me if one of them were members here. however i would respect their privacy and not make such a big deal out it either. this is why i don't post pics of me with co-workers and/or bands here. i save that for my other accounts like Myspace.

i would be more worried if a relative happen to stumble across this site.

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RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 8:34:24 AM

zakkan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

i would be more worried if a relative happen to stumble across this site.

Hear, hear. I would probably be sent against my will to counselors, psychologists, and various members of my extended family for pep-talks.

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RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 8:35:43 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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with my family, it would be Biblical counseling, prayers and pastoral intervention.

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RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 8:39:19 AM

persephonee

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Try this one on for size...my ex "wife" found my blog...she hasnt spoken to our mutual friends for years and crawled out of the woodwork to bitch about my "new lifestyle"....i simply never thought that would happen at all...im kinda unsaavy in the computer dept.

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RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 8:40:21 AM

Rover

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Yup John, I'm pretty intimately familiar with the relevant laws. I put in my time in the manager's desk too. It's just that I don't perceive WIITWD as a sexual act anymore than I think of my marriage as a sexual act.

And as they say, therein lies the rub. It doesn't matter whether you view WIITWD as a sexual act, you are not the jury. I imagine you (or any of us) would have a difficult time satisfactorily explaining that to 12 of our peers. And even if not found liable, there is the time, expense and publicity associated with the case itself.

It is a risk that I'm unwilling to take, though others will decide for themselves.

John

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RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 8:45:02 AM

antipode

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I am always dying to know if the question is hypothetical or not... for the simple reason that I don't do hypotheticals, it is a waste of time. Please do expand.

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