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RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 8:45:04 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		I guess it depends on your line of work rofl  like first thing you never do is come to this site when your working at a major companies  second do not be working at anything to do with polictal circles  or education  third church organizations so it depends where you work  how much you really are going to let  people dictate to you  cost is a terrible thing
but thats our responsiblity

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 8:53:29 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5175
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: panthersub

If you knew that someone you work with is on here, how would you react to it? More so if it is inevitable that you can't not see them on a daily basis? Would it make you uncomfortable, nervous, excited?


I have met people in vanilla settings that i've met previously at play parties or events.  The diplomatic way to handle it is to ignore that we know each other.  The other person might not be out to those who are with him/her.  Why should i presume to mess up their life?  No, having that knowledge does not make me feel uncomfortable, nervous, or excited.  Even if i felt those things is no reason to out someone at their place of employment. 

(in reply to panthersub)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 9:04:06 AM   
Soyokaze


Posts: 390
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline 		I make it a point not to be recognizable in my profile.  It'd be pretty bad for me if I was outed.  Therefore, if I saw someone I worked with on here, I would just ignore them and treat them like I did before I noticed.

(in reply to antipode)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 9:04:23 AM   
panthersub


Posts: 80
Joined: 5/20/2008
Status: offline 		It would depend on whether you think it's a hypothetical question. What i may deem as a hypothetical you may think it's not and vice versa. All depends on the person.

(in reply to antipode)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 9:05:51 AM   
SirDominic


Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		From the phrasing of your question, (hypothetical or not), my impression is that though you know they have a profile on this site, you don't know them personally. In such a case I would not say anything at work ever.

But were I looking, and the other person was a woman who interested me, I would certainly contact her here! Or, if I just thought they seemed like an interesting person at work, of either sex - again, I would contact them here first.

Really I consider this just basic manners. You can't know, without knowing the person, what issues affect their lifestyle choices. They may be completely open to discussing it, but it is just as possible they have a life situation where they have to stay in the closet. I would never presume.

_____________________________

You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to panthersub)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 9:06:09 AM   
panthersub


Posts: 80
Joined: 5/20/2008
Status: offline 		My workplace is quite small and there's not a lot of people who work there, so it's like everyone knows about everyone type environment. More like a rural town type like setting.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 9:10:10 AM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		A few years ago someone c-mailed me here. As his picture loaded I went "Oh, Sh**! I work with him!" My response to his c-mail was that he knew me cuz we worked together. I didn't let on who I was until we met at a munch. It was quite fun then to recognize each other. At work we'd chat after that but only in the vaguest of terms about attending a munch, nothing more than that. Both of our jobs could have been on the line. Now we're working at different places so we only see each other at events of one sort or another.

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to panthersub)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 9:15:26 AM   
alianora


Posts: 38
Status: offline 		There are several people who I work with who are also members of this and other fetish sites. While we acknowledge silently that we are aware of each other here, we do not bring it into the workplace.

(in reply to panthersub)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 10:57:03 AM   
Jeptha


Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDominic

From the phrasing of your question, (hypothetical or not), my impression is that though you know they have a profile on this site, you don't know them personally. In such a case I would not say anything at work ever.

But were I looking, and the other person was a woman who interested me, I would certainly contact her here! Or, if I just thought they seemed like an interesting person at work, of either sex - again, I would contact them here first.

Really I consider this just basic manners. You can't know, without knowing the person, what issues affect their lifestyle choices. They may be completely open to discussing it, but it is just as possible they have a life situation where they have to stay in the closet. I would never presume.

That sounds good to me.
I also wouldn't mention it outside of this site because if they are on here, that is part of their personal life and I want to respect their privacy.

(in reply to SirDominic)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 12:13:44 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		Well, I'm on here as well, and mean no one any harm.  At a private moment I *might* share that with them, provided they themselves seemed trustworthy and someone I'd want to know better.
 
Generally though, I think it's best if my private and professional lives do not overlap too much.  I've met a few people at work I could not resist making good friends with, but on occassion things have later gone south and I've been given pause about anything personal I might have told them.
 
After all, have to make a living.
 
candystripper 

(in reply to panthersub)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 12:35:21 PM   
monywildcat


Posts: 452
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline 		This has happened to me in the past, meh no big deal since I don't shit where I eat.  The work-me is pretty separate from the not-at-work me.  If it happened again, I would take the same stance and keep my yap shut.  I'm a lone-wolf and will bury my nose in a good book on my lunch and break times, so shutting my pie-hole is pretty easy.  Mmmm, pie....

_____________________________

Major Life Change Necessitates Personal Reinvention...

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 12:43:05 PM   
panthersub


Posts: 80
Joined: 5/20/2008
Status: offline 		SirDominic:
  i do work with them on a daily basis and know them, well now, quite well, which i didn't need to know about. Anyways, yes i do agree that just ignoring them at work is something that should be done.

(in reply to SirDominic)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 1:01:36 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: panthersub

If you knew that someone you work with is on here, how would you react to it? More so if it is inevitable that you can't not see them on a daily basis? Would it make you uncomfortable, nervous, excited?


I really have no feelings one way or another about it. It's their personal life. I already know stuff about them that others would think are "weird". No, it certainly would not make me uncomfortable, nervous and definately NOT excited.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to panthersub)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 1:34:32 PM   
pinkwind


Posts: 367
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline 		Personally i wouldn't react at all, keep work and private life separated as much as possible. i would keep a healthy check on my emotions too.

But then you have given little to go on. Do you mean that you might look on them as a potential partner? Or are you worried that they might recognise you and maybe out you?


(in reply to panthersub)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 1:43:12 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Yup John, I'm pretty intimately familiar with the relevant laws. I put in my time in the manager's desk too. It's just that I don't perceive WIITWD as a sexual act anymore than I think of my marriage as a sexual act.


And as they say, therein lies the rub.  It doesn't matter whether you view WIITWD as a sexual act, you are not the jury.  I imagine you (or any of us) would have a difficult time satisfactorily explaining that to 12 of our peers.  And even if not found liable, there is the time, expense and publicity associated with the case itself.
 
It is a risk that I'm unwilling to take, though others will decide for themselves.
 
John


This is indeed the rub.  It only takes one pain-in-the-ass loudmouth (and every company has one) to run to management about how she or he feels "uncomfortable" around you.  Or, if you decide to wear black to work one day, she feels "uncomfortable".  Or, if you make a double-entendre joke he is offended.  It's not what you DO, it's how someone else FEELS that matters to lawsuit-phobic management.

I'm fortunate in that I work for a company that is pretty "cool" about diversity of all kinds and my immediate manager would tell the loudmouth to shut up and get back to work, as would his manager, and the one above him.  And I love them for that.   But, I also keep that side of my life private and don't post a public pic.

(Don't get me wrong, if there was true harrassment going on anywhere, they'd squash it in a heartbeat.)

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 2:15:44 PM   
panthersub


Posts: 80
Joined: 5/20/2008
Status: offline 		i would not consider this person as my partner, and the person as recognizing me, i have no clue. But at the same time also don't want to take that chance.

(in reply to pinkwind)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 2:20:08 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline 		It has happened. I ignored it, as it wasn't someone who interests me in on a personal level anyway.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to panthersub)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 2:30:56 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		I don't think I'd be moved much at all, either way, if I found out someone from wok was on CM - unless it was that sexy manager in the warehouse.  

I've yet to run across anyone in the alternative sites I'm on that I worked with, but there was that one time one of the salesmen I used to work with accidentally emailed his ALT profile using his professional and personal mailstring list (even his ex wife was on that list).  That was pretty amusing... My boss and I had to make an account to log on and view his full profile - then giggled like school girls when all the sex ads popped up while we tried to keep them off the computer so the Democratic party renting our space downstairs didn't walk in on us and think (or in my case - know) we were sick puppies.



< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 10/31/2008 2:33:54 PM >

(in reply to Misstoyou)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 3:03:02 PM   
IvyMorgan


Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline 		My first day at my current job, the first person I met was someone I already knew from a kink/swinger venue where I had previously "worked".

I said nothing at all, and it was about 5 months before he said anything to me.  Bless him, he was nervous.

(in reply to antipode)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Knowing someone on here? - 10/31/2008 4:49:19 PM   
Max1000


Posts: 28
Joined: 10/25/2008
Status: offline 		I bumped into a co-worker at TGs once which as marginally embarassing for him I think. He tried to hide behind a pillar but I just yelled his name till it got too obvious to ignore me. We had quite a strained conversation but it was cool. Best just to throw out there. Its like when my cousins came to dinner with my family and one of them had recently come out as gay. My mum, bless her, didn't know how to handle the situation so I just blurted out "O HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN SEEING YOUR BOYFRIEND?!" Potentially a risky maneouvre but once the proverbial white elephant had been pointed out things were fine

Same principle here. Me and him don't mention it at work and I think we have an unwritten thieves code that makes it unspeakable by the photocopier. I think this reply makes some sort of sense.

(in reply to IvyMorgan)
Profile   Post #: 40
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