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Phobias & BDSM - 10/29/2008 7:56:18 PM   
Observer20


Posts: 25
Joined: 10/25/2008
Status: offline 		Does anyone here have a phobia that interferes with their play styles? I ask this because I have somewhat of an odd phobia, and that is the fear of vomiting. I am afraid of it happening to me and I am also afraid of seeing other people vomit, so this has limited my ability to participate in some activities due to this fear. Has anyone else had to deal with this?

A second question is, has anyone worked through their phobias by using BDSM techniques?
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RE: Phobias & BDSM - 10/29/2008 8:05:14 PM   
featherleather


Posts: 8
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline 		I'd like to make a suggestion for you. My friend is a clinical hypnotist and has treated people for your phobia.  It is actually called emetophobia :)  He suggests you see a good hypnotist for some hypnosis and NLP (neuro-linguistic programming).  It really works.

Hope this helps.

(in reply to Observer20)
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RE: Phobias & BDSM - 10/29/2008 8:48:06 PM   
abcbsex


Posts: 478
Joined: 3/29/2008
Status: offline 		It doesn't really affect our play much but Alpha and I recently attended our first play party and I couldn't watch a certain scene because a man had a hood on that completely covered his face-- I don't know if it's a phobia but stuff over the face like that really gets to me. Costume masks don't bother me, but something about featureless heads--- ugh. 

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but it needed to be at least.... four times bigger.


(in reply to featherleather)
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RE: Phobias & BDSM - 10/29/2008 8:57:24 PM   
OneMoreWaste


Posts: 910
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline 		Wow, I had no idea that vomit was so common in BDSM circles  Guess I should my waders if I ever go to an event!

I have a phobia of needles going straight into the skin- like when they go into a vein- which doesn't sound that irrational until you hear that I've had over two dozen body piercings at once for various times. A really hot scene that led up to it gradually helped with the phobia a little.


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(in reply to abcbsex)
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RE: Phobias & BDSM - 10/29/2008 8:59:31 PM   
housemouse61


Posts: 60
Joined: 6/12/2008
Status: offline 		i have a couple of phobias: claustrophobia (fear of enclosed/confining spaces) and acrophobia (fear of heights).   i've yet to have these breached or tested or whatever you wish to call it in a BDSM context.  Perhaps it's out of deferrence to my phobias or lack of any need, on Master's part, to push those boundaries.  But, as of this time in O/our relationship my phobias have not had any negative affect on O/our relationship that i'm aware of...and i'm certain He would tell me if it did.

If it was something Master expressed a genuine desire in pushing i'd be willing to at least try even though the mere thought of being put in a cage or suspended gives me the willies.  Maybe W/we could start with "baby steps" when and if the time comes. 

Peace favor and blessed be,

nikki
Property of Cruel Desires

(in reply to Observer20)
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RE: Phobias & BDSM - 10/29/2008 9:05:39 PM   
housemouse61


Posts: 60
Joined: 6/12/2008
Status: offline 		i can empathize.  Those over the head hoods/masks squick me out, as well.  *shudders*  i will actually avoid approaching or communicating with anyO/one who has one on, even if it's someO/one i know, and walk a wide berth around them.  Maybe from watching too many slasher type movies at a young age?

Peace favor and blessed be,

nikki
Property of Cruel Desires

(in reply to abcbsex)
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RE: Phobias & BDSM - 10/29/2008 9:12:13 PM   
atypicalsub


Posts: 284
Joined: 4/11/2008
From: an atypical sub
Status: offline 		Mine isn't exactly a phobia, but the only time I've ever called 'red' with my Mistress was when she tried to file my nails with an emery board.  I still can't say *why* but I just could not tollerate that sensation, even for a few seconds.  We're working on it slowly.  Now I can take it for about ten seconds if I clench my teeth hard, and I still shudder noticably with every stroke.


_____________________________

Polyamorous, solitary eclectic pagan, pansexual slut, and personal pet of MistressYes

"Do not do anything you are ashamed of, and don't be ashamed of anything you do"
(although I'm sure my bio-family wishes I did less and was ashamed of more)


(in reply to Observer20)
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RE: Phobias & BDSM - 10/29/2008 9:13:10 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Observer20
Does anyone here have a phobia that interferes with their play styles?

I have a phobia about being flat on my back with my arms pinned at my sides.  I freak out!!! Sometimes even without my arms pinned and with Him on top of me, I can panic.  It has inhibited a few activities.  Fortunately, the missionary position is not a favorite. 

I'm not sure why I have this particular phobia or from what it stems, but it is very real and very scary for me.

quote:

has anyone worked through their phobias by using BDSM techniques?

I wouldn't call it a "BDSM" technique but we have begun working through it.  Master has my total trust and probably the best and simplest technique He has used is to bind my arms to my sides semi-tightly and have me sit on the edge of the bed like that.  That was even fairly scary but He helped me do it without panicking.  We have also experimented a bit with Him tying me spread eagle to the bed, flat on my back and then He would slowly position Himself on top of me and see how it progressed.  Again, because I trust Him so much, I got through it well.  He has really helped me along...............luci

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(in reply to Observer20)
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RE: Phobias & BDSM - 10/29/2008 9:37:54 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		Two phobias come to mind.

The first was an enormous phobia of knives I have had all my life, to the point of having recurring nightmares about being stabbed, cut up, chased by someone with a hatchet, and other lovely such things. My former master had me do a lot of visualization through fantasy, and write about it quite often, having me play out a positive experience and outcome. We talked about it, I wrote about it, and I trusted him completely, so that when the time came that he pulled a bowie knife on me in a "surprise attack", it was pretty much the hottest thing I had experienced up until then. Terrifying, but in an erotically hot way.

The other phobia is one I wasn't aware of until I was in the situation, and that is that I can become very claustrophobic when completely immobilized. Wrapping me in saran wrap produced a huge anxiety attack, such that I literally clawed my way out of the stuff. Pinning my head down so that it could not move at all (usually with my arms pulled up on either side and pinned into place) also caused me great stress and anxiety. This is not something I have overcome. And I shudder to think of trying!! He didn't use saran wrap again but tried to work with me on the immobilization issue. But I never did lose the stress over it so he'd end up doing what he wanted with me anyway and would just have a stressed out slave when it was over.


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RE: Phobias & BDSM - 10/29/2008 9:40:56 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		If he ever puts a spider on me he's getting kicked in the balls.

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RE: Phobias & BDSM - 10/29/2008 9:41:57 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

If he ever puts a spider on me he's getting kicked in the balls.


Jeezus that would just be the START of my reactions. He'd be lucky to live through it.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Phobias & BDSM - 10/29/2008 9:45:42 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
The other phobia is one I wasn't aware of until I was in the situation, and that is that I can become very claustrophobic when completely immobilized. Wrapping me in saran wrap produced a huge anxiety attack, such that I literally clawed my way out of the stuff.

OMG, I would've done the same thing.  We have talked about that scenario and I begin to panic and breathe more rapidly just imagining it.  No flippin' way I could handle it  .  You're braver than me, girl...............luci

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To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to NuevaVida)
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RE: Phobias & BDSM - 10/29/2008 9:49:12 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

OMG, I would've done the same thing.  We have talked about that scenario and I begin to panic and breathe more rapidly just imagining it.  No flippin' way I could handle it  .  You're braver than me, girl...............luci


LOL I didn't have a choice. He said "Come here" and pulled out a BIG industrial size box of the stuff. My eyes got wide. I stood very still as he began wrapping me and I was trembling when he finished. Then he told me to lie down (THAT was an effort!) and chuckled at my struggle (fell over on the bed and slid down to the floor) and then said "Good night" and went to bed.

Within ten minutes I was out of that crap. What a disaster.

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Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to slaveluci)
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RE: Phobias & BDSM - 10/29/2008 9:56:01 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		I have claustrophia.  I would rather be set free in the middle of the ocean, than to crawl into a cage.  And this isn't something I have any desire to try and overcome for the sake of a kink. 

Elevators and things of that nature unfortunately remain a huge challenge for me.   Even when I'm driving a car it can creep up on me if I let it get the better of me, but I've learned how to refocus and kick it back down when I really really have to. 

Being restrained can also have the same affect on me, but I've learned to get past that for the most part, but it's still a mind over matter challenge for me.  And I can't imagine being in very tight bondage or wrapped in anything completely immobile.  I'm almost certain I would go right over the edge.

_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to Observer20)
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RE: Phobias & BDSM - 10/29/2008 10:05:19 PM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		I have a needle phobia.  In fact, when I used to attend parties the people who were throwing the party have been known to make me leave the room during medical/needle scenes because they did not want me passing out and hitting my head or something - I literally turn white. 

This is not something I have any desire to overcome.  Squick, squick, squick. 

(in reply to Observer20)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Phobias & BDSM - 10/30/2008 12:57:12 AM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		I don't know, phobia is a very strong word. The only thing that truely scares me to the point where I will have a panic attack is a water bug. Just typing it makes my skin crawl. And I' mean an NYC water bug.

Other than that, I can't think of any true phobia I have. I do have fears though, like of heights. I am afraid of needles as well but needle play helps me deal with it as has age and getting pericings.

(in reply to moonvine)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Phobias & BDSM - 10/30/2008 1:44:01 AM   
Motionflipotion


Posts: 65
Joined: 1/24/2008
From: City of depression
Status: offline 		I have no phobias.
Closest thing to come to it, BD/SM related, is hand cuffs and being tied up.
I use my experience in submission to make people pay who try and violate that hard limit.
Anyone who isn't an obviously weaker person, who trys to dominate me physicaly, can end up getting hurt.
One time I almost snapped someones neck because she went south into no-mans land without asking, while giving me head.
I guess you could call that needing to control or an insecurity, but I consider it almost a phobia.
Oh, and I always cloak my face. It turns me on to be in a hood.


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<Don Flip

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Phobias & BDSM - 10/30/2008 4:39:50 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		I'm claustrophobic. He can blindfold me but no way can it cover anything except for my eyes. I hyperventilate and totally panic. Nothing can cover my face and nothing nothing nothing can ever be used to gag me.
Second one is actually something I've been wanting to start a thread on because its interfering with my life. It sounds stupid but I have a horrible uncontrollable fear of doctors. My owner spent a couple of years working with me, getting me to see a doctor so that I could have the Lupus/Fibro/TMJ/Arthritis etc treated. That was an ordeal and its having to start all over again because I've moved and need a new doctor soon.

The first go-round was rather labor intensive on his end. Hourly calls to try and calm my panic that sometimes led into actual hysteria. I felt irrational but couldn't halt the terror. He tightened his emotional grip on me and ended up having to force me to go.

Just writing this makes me feel ill. Ugh.

I know that he stands behind me supporting me, that he wouldn't ever mock my stupid fear (fear is the wrong word, it goes soooo far beyond fear) but I worry that he will get impatient with it all. Which in turn makes the problem worse.

Ack. Hushing now.


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RE: Phobias & BDSM - 10/30/2008 4:51:42 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Duct tape gags. In fact, duct tape on skin. I think I might be able to handle duct tape over saran wrap but only for a short while and there would be nothing enjoyable about it.

Since I don't have any trouble with any other restraints, except for not tolerating cold chains because of the temperature, he hasn't bothered trying to desensitize me.

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Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Phobias & BDSM - 10/30/2008 5:41:12 AM   
knockonmyduir


Posts: 264
Status: offline 		please.....stop.......my toes are curled up......no more insects........argh.......

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knockonmyduir

Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.
-Hindu Spiritual



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