RE: Misunderstandings, miscommunication and where do I fit in?

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RE: Misunderstandings, miscommunication and where do I ... - 10/11/2008 5:05:53 PM

terrafirma

Posts: 3
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveIndigochild

Dear Moonvine:
You are a masochist.
You seem to want a long term relationship or at least something more than casual?
You need pain.
i am a slave. i am also a submissive. i am also a masochist.
i am also (lesser these days) an emotional masochist. Well emotional pain is also pain right?
i did do casual. It hurt emotionally. But the physical pain was real good. i cried not because of welts or bruises but because of the emotional dissonance. i loved the tears. i love tears now as without limits i cry quite often.
Go for it......three years is too long in my personal opinion.

Moonvine,

You would do quite well IMO to read SlaveIndogochild's wise and lived advice more than once and meditate upon it before you reply. It's brilliant and kindly offered.

The only thing I would add is that either way you go, you'll have what you seem to truly desire. You're in a win win situation within yourself. Either you can continue to suffer alone or risk the pleasures and pains of suffering, without the preconditioned promise of long term commitment, of someone who you believe understands you in a deep way.

Perhaps your masochism affords you a gift others lack?

(in reply to SlaveIndigochild)

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Post #: 41

RE: Misunderstandings, miscommunication and where do I ... - 10/12/2008 1:29:56 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: moonvine
So, I've never felt I fit in in this BDSM world. I'm not poly. I don't want to be poly. I don't play in public. I don't want to play in public. I don't want to communicate with a man whose profile reads like some kind of badly written porno novel. I don't want to communicate with a man who expects to be presented with a list of my sexual and power exchange likes and dislikes before I have even exchanged two words with him.

… I am a masochist. … I often wish that tomorrow I would wake up and not be a masochist.

ect…

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius

Everything should be as simple as it is, but not simpler.
- Albert Einstein

BDSM & poly have nothing to do with each other. Public exhibitionism and BDSM are not inclusive either. Seek your kind, what fits you. From the “switch” comments in your profile you may not be just masochistic. If you are a “switch” you very well may be a non submissive sadomasochist. Be true to yourself, as you demonstrate by your post, you cannot deny your own nature.

As far as what to do about your relationship? Either pick out the stuff you like and enjoy the parts you want or go find what you really wanted in the first place. Reading what you said was like watching someone that just likes pineapple order the fruit salad and complain.

Try looking somewhere other than CollarMe if you hate the profiles here. You live in Austin, that town rocks, go to the local BDSM clubs, meetings and societies.

< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 10/12/2008 1:30:56 AM >

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I give good thread.

(in reply to moonvine)

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Post #: 42

RE: Misunderstandings, miscommunication and where do I ... - 10/12/2008 2:45:46 AM

moonvine

Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

BDSM & poly have nothing to do with each other. Public exhibitionism and BDSM are not inclusive either. Seek your kind, what fits you. From the “switch” comments in your profile you may not be just masochistic. If you are a “switch” you very well may be a non submissive sadomasochist. Be true to yourself, as you demonstrate by your post, you cannot deny your own nature.

As far as what to do about your relationship? Either pick out the stuff you like and enjoy the parts you want or go find what you really wanted in the first place. Reading what you said was like watching someone that just likes pineapple order the fruit salad and complain.

Try looking somewhere other than CollarMe if you hate the profiles here. You live in Austin, that town rocks, go to the local BDSM clubs, meetings and societies.

Perhaps it is just the people I have met, and may very well be - I don't know if any official studies have ever been done on this - but I have found that people into BDSM are, on average, more likely to be poly than your average person on the street. I do, in fact, know vanilla people who are poly. But of the people I know who are poly, I know one triad who is vanilla, and it seems at least 75% of the local BDSM community, if not more, is poly. Now, the local BDSM community is probably not a good sample size, but that's what I have to go on, unless someone can point me to some research on these topics. (The local BDSM community in Oklahoma City, where I used to live, was much the same in composition as the BDSM community here).

Maybe I need to rewrite the profile if it infers that I am a switch, because I'm not. I went to a munch tonight. It was hysterical.

I think of it more as ordering pineapple and getting fruit salad. Fruit salad should go nicely with my half a loaf. Must really work on the writing skills. And to think I was an English major.

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(in reply to ResidentSadist)

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Post #: 43

RE: Misunderstandings, miscommunication and where do I ... - 10/12/2008 3:08:55 AM

tweedydaddy

Posts: 673
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

You carp about people looking at you and your problem in a way that you see to be incorrect, and of course the part time Dom must be in the wrong, but tell me, have you ever really figured out what you want and how to get it?

(in reply to moonvine)

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Post #: 44

RE: Misunderstandings, miscommunication and where do I ... - 10/12/2008 3:26:50 AM

moonvine

Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tweedydaddy

You carp about people looking at you and your problem in a way that you see to be incorrect, and of course the part time Dom must be in the wrong, but tell me, have you ever really figured out what you want and how to get it?

I'm not trying to carp, at all. In fact, I have been interested in and grateful for the wide variety of responses here, and for the time people took to write them. I find most of the time when you ask a question on an Internet message board you will get just a few types of responses, while here I have gotten everything from A to Z.

I don't think I have been blaming him for anything. The whole first page or so of responses was asking me why I was blaming myself.

I know exactly what I want. Do I know how to get it? Not a clue. Keep looking, be more careful with communication, and make fewer assumptions..

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Post #: 45