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RE: Is it possible to be a good Mormon and be kinky? - 10/2/2008 10:40:27 PM

rosanegra

Posts: 277
Joined: 1/1/2006
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Allow me to give a few more details. My husband was raised LDS. I was raised RLDS. RLDS has a slightly different structure, and I lost my faith about six years ago.. only to very recently regain it. I am not a regularly attending member of the LDS church yet, but my husband expressed a desire to be sealed to me in the temple at some point.. and I want to know where that puts us, as far as kink goes... I have a long way to go before I even get close to that point, because if I am going to take that step, I am going to be genuine about it.

So.. asking the church, or more specifically, "my," bishop could be a bit difficult.. since I don't really have one.

There are a lot of things in my life that need to change, LDS or not... I am just trying to decide whether or not kink is one of them.

I really don't see anything wrong with it... I don't need a moral loophole.. and to some extent, my question is more for my husband's benefit than my own.

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RE: Is it possible to be a good Mormon and be kinky? - 10/2/2008 10:43:11 PM

petsuccubus

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Joined: 9/28/2008
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I can't recall offhand if any official statement has ever been made on the topic, but there's nothing specifically against 'the rules'. Some of the more extreme members might say its wrong, but those would likely be the same that say sex even within marriage is for procreation purposes only and wrong otherwise. The more lenient ones, well... You aren't being disrespectful of one another, you're still staying within the bonds of the marriage, and you aren't being blasphemous in the process of it.

Though honestly, if you're truly concerned about it being okay... one or both of you could meet with the bishop and ask his viewpoint on the topic... it would be embarrassing but you'd get a definite answer. You wouldn't have to give full details, just "spice things in the bedroom" kind of phrasing. Even he doesn't need to know the details or the exact nature of what you're looking at, you can safely couch it in vague terms.

(former/recovered mormon... I have no problem with those who are in the church, it just wasn't the place for me)

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 22

RE: Is it possible to be a good Mormon and be kinky? - 10/2/2008 10:51:49 PM

petsuccubus

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Joined: 9/28/2008
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actually, not having your own bishop might make it easier if you just.. find one to ask about it...

I'm less familiar with the RLDS workings so I can't even guess which side of the line they're on... but I'm still of the opinion that there's nothing wrong with it and there shouldn't be issues... everything that I remember from church that mentioned sex was about unmarried members having impure thoughts/etc.

I'm almost curious enough to ask one of my cousins... I may actually do that

(in reply to rosanegra)

Post #: 23

RE: Is it possible to be a good Mormon and be kinky? - 10/2/2008 11:04:50 PM

petsuccubus

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Joined: 9/28/2008
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quote:

Most Christian Bibles have a concordance (super-duper index) in the back that helps find topics and phrases. Doesn't the Book of Mormon as well?

Yes, but I doubt there's any "kink" section listed, you'd have to be clever and find the right set of keywords to search

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 24

RE: Is it possible to be a good Mormon and be kinky? - 10/2/2008 11:26:45 PM

SlaveIndigochild

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i'd find it extremely difficult to be a Mormon.

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Post #: 25

RE: Is it possible to be a good Mormon and be kinky? - 10/2/2008 11:30:11 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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Best way to find out would be to ask a Morman Elder I immagine. I've always fpound the Mormans I meet to be quite kinky and easily titivated by sexual kinkiness and nudity. Enjoyed watching several of them brealk out into a hot sweat and suffer spewach impedomints when I had a slave serve refreshments attired in a shirik and nothing else..

< Message edited by IronBear -- 10/2/2008 11:32:58 PM >

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Post #: 26

RE: Is it possible to be a good Mormon and be kinky? - 10/3/2008 1:20:48 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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Hello rosanegra
If you are particpating in a relationship with your husband then there isn't anything prohibiting you in terms of mormonism as far as I know of. Again, it does depend on your orientations vs. your structure, but from what you have written, I would not see it as a problem. I think it would be a great idea to speak to an elder even if you do not have one yourself - it might be easier for you anyway seeing as you will not know the person and if you articulate as you have here, you should get a cool and informed response.

the.dark.

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Post #: 27

RE: Is it possible to be a good Mormon and be kinky? - 10/3/2008 2:17:22 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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quote:

ORIGINAL: petsuccubus

quote:

Most Christian Bibles have a concordance (super-duper index) in the back that helps find topics and phrases. Doesn't the Book of Mormon as well?

Yes, but I doubt there's any "kink" section listed, you'd have to be clever and find the right set of keywords to search

Well, yeah, but you'd look up the same things you'd look up in the Bible...rules about marriage, marital respect and relationships dynamics. From what I understand, the LDS have most of the same core teaching as Christianity, only they're supplemented by another, more modern prophet, in a similar (but not quite the same) way as Islam.

OP: there's mixed reviews about this book. It may or may not be helpful, but it's written for the LDS faith.
http://www.amazon.com/Between-Husband-Wife-Perspectives-Intimacy/dp/1577346092/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1223025233&sr=8-1

Master Fire

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(in reply to petsuccubus)

Post #: 28

RE: Is it possible to be a good Mormon and be kinky? - 10/3/2008 2:42:23 AM

Shylahgirl

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Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline

It's your sex life, sweety. As long as it is all SSC then I don't think the church shouldn't even be involved.

From what I now of Mormonism, which is a good amount (I live in Utah an my dad's side of the family is big LDS), sex isn't something they really care about as long as it's between a married man and woman.

Yea, Mormons have issues with gays and porn, but I've never heard anything against kink. Especially if its fem slave and male Master.... no one will even notice unless you go to the ward picnic waring a collar and leash or have marks past your garments (garments are the "magic underwear" for those who don't know.)

My former Master family is very mormon, he's not for other reasons, but they had an idea of what he is into and never looked down on him. And in the two years I was in service to him we never burst into flames when walking into a church for one of his huge family gatherings.

Being mormon and kinky is no diffrent then being catholic and kinky.

Shylah

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Post #: 29

RE: Is it possible to be a good Mormon and be kinky? - 10/3/2008 4:31:03 AM

spankablemilf

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Joined: 9/26/2008
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So interesting that you'd ask this question. According to my Bishop years ago anything within the confines of marriage is AOK, I asked about oral, anal, and spanking. All were perfectly fine, where I got in trouble (and am currently sinning as well) is with pornography. So, if you are doing any of that (as well as matrubation as someone else has already pointed out) that isn't ok and I strongly discourage you continuing to get a temple recommend if you're participating in those aspects. My husband (Master) has been completely inactive for years, and I've been torn on what to do, but recently I just determined that I wanted to have a better marriage and that somehow God will understand in the end. Might be flawed thinking, but I have four children to think about, and since we changed the dynamic of our relationship from me being the bullying Dominant (without allowing him any say in our life) to the one that I feel is a more natural setup with him being Dominant and me being submissive to his desires our relationship has been great and that only helps our entire family life. But, I'd love to chat because I'm definitely a card carrying LDS person and could probably answer many of your questions in this regard.

quote:

ORIGINAL: rosanegra

I am wondering if anyone knows if mormonism and kink are mutually exclusive. And I am not talking about polygamy, or any such thing like it.. by now, the LDS church has long since made it clear that polygamy is no longer a part of their belief. I know why it was, and I know why it no longer is, so I don't even want that to be a part of this discussion.

My question is, is it possible for my husband and I to have a D/s relationship involving healthy doses of bondage, discipline, and S&m (to a moderate extent) and still be members in good standing in the LDS church.

Don't read too much into it.. I am just trying to find some answers, and make a little bit of sense of some things that have happened recently in my life.

(in reply to rosanegra)

Post #: 30

RE: Is it possible to be a good Mormon and be kinky? - 10/3/2008 6:01:35 AM

windchymes

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Just for my own curiosity, what is "RLDS"? Is that like the fundamentalist sect(s?) that still practice polygamy and live in secluded areas in their own commune-like communities?

Also, I'm wondering if you watch the show "Big Love" on HBO and, if so, what are your thoughts about it?

(Actually, these questions could be directed to anyone reading)

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Post #: 31

RE: Is it possible to be a good Mormon and be kinky? - 10/3/2008 6:12:17 AM

JumpingJax

Posts: 155
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

It is amazing how many closet LDS came out of the cob webs on this one.

I'll state very inactive from the church and no, none, zip desire to come back.    I'm not going to go so far as to say the church is false, but like all religions it's run by men so there are bound to be mistakes.   I've decided to live my own life as best I know how and see how it goes.

Besides the Terrestrial Kingdom sounds much more fun then the Celestial anyway.

ok so my 4 cents (Inflation and all).

1st - D/s seems a natural fit with the LDS faith.   Things done in the bedroom within play would be consider acceptable. I actually believe that Rednekcol was probably dead on when he said "that acts in the marriage should not objectify either person". This would make many aspects of even D/s play difficult to do - It's a thin line.

2nd - The heirarcy of a Male dominate and female submissive works well outside of the bedroom.   Except if you are forced to punish.   I'm not sure how you would justify taking a belt to your sub while still upholding LDS standards - seems to go against everything that got drilled in to us in priesthood meetings.

3rd - The other thing you should strongly consider is where this road might lead you.   If you are serious about your faith, understand that you might be playing with fire coming to places like this one.   I'm not sure how you are even able to login to this site without the possibility of seeing something that would be deamed inappropriate.   The bigger issue is what happens when you expand your limits.     You expose yourself to the likes of the BDSM community you stand a very good chance of breaking the rules some where at some time.     It's up to you to decide what is right and what you are at peace with.   But as a warning this is imho a slippery slope which might lead you astray.   I made my peace with this years ago.   Make sure you are also prepared to do the same.

(in reply to spankablemilf)

Post #: 32

RE: Is it possible to be a good Mormon and be kinky? - 10/3/2008 7:37:50 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rosanegra

I am wondering if anyone knows if mormonism and kink are mutually exclusive. And I am not talking about polygamy, or any such thing like it.. by now, the LDS church has long since made it clear that polygamy is no longer a part of their belief. I know why it was, and I know why it no longer is, so I don't even want that to be a part of this discussion.

My question is, is it possible for my husband and I to have a D/s relationship involving healthy doses of bondage, discipline, and S&m (to a moderate extent) and still be members in good standing in the LDS church.

Don't read too much into it.. I am just trying to find some answers, and make a little bit of sense of some things that have happened recently in my life.

rosanegra,

I maintain a small ski lodge in brian Head, (Utah, Mormon Country) and from time to time interacted with a couple of submissive Mormon fems; lets me say this their religion does not get in the way of their kink at all.

CP

(in reply to rosanegra)

Post #: 33

RE: Is it possible to be a good Mormon and be kinky? - 10/3/2008 7:45:20 AM

spankablemilf

Posts: 57
Joined: 9/26/2008
Status: offline

Actually the RLDS is a straight succession from Joseph Smith, meaning when their weren't any more males they started giving females the priesthood. Major difference between the LDS.

They are now not even called the RLDS they are "Communities of Christ".

The FLDS are the fundies...

We watch Big Love, but we're interested in a Poly thing in the future, so it's entertaining for us. My Dom doesn't believe that polygamy should have ever been stopped, so in some of his thinking he's more fundie LDS, but not in everything.

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Just for my own curiosity, what is "RLDS"? Is that like the fundamentalist sect(s?) that still practice polygamy and live in secluded areas in their own commune-like communities?

Also, I'm wondering if you watch the show "Big Love" on HBO and, if so, what are your thoughts about it?

(Actually, these questions could be directed to anyone reading)

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 34

RE: Is it possible to be a good Mormon and be kinky? - 10/3/2008 7:55:06 AM

tavinia

Posts: 14
Joined: 10/24/2007
From: OR
Status: offline

rosanegra,

I understand your desire for the thoughts of others on the lifestyle and faith. I am walking through similar questions. I have found it interesting, and helpful, to hear how others with similar Judeo-Christian beliefs have reconciled what are widely preached doctrine against their personal interpretation of Scripture.
I am finding that while the input of others is invaluable, it is invaluable because their statements and questions have allowed me to work through my own beliefs and regularly send me back to Scripture.
If you haven't already done so, this would be my recommendation. In that manner, you can review relevant Scripture and make your own interpretation of the text; that, and prayer/meditation, have ultimately allowed me to make decisions in my search.

_____________________________

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(in reply to rosanegra)

Post #: 35

RE: Is it possible to be a good Mormon and be kinky? - 10/3/2008 10:31:42 AM

RealSub58

Posts: 1073
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rosanegra

Ask my church about something I consider to be highly personal regarding my sex life and my marriage? To ask other kinky people is one thing. To ask someone who may be predisposed to judge me for even asking the question, regardless of what I do with the answer? I think not.

Frankly, I am looking for answers that go deeper than what the church has to say.. I am looking for answers regarding the scriptures, and how to extrapolate whether or not it is acceptable for my husband and I to have that relationship and still be able to, in good conscience, and in good faith, enter the temple. I do not like my religion spoon-fed down my throat from someone who doesn't know what is in my heart. It is a personal thing, whether or not I feel right continuing to live this lifestyle, and whether or not I feel God has given me his blessing.

Hence, I am looking for answers from other kinky people who may have figured them out for themselves as well.. Why are these forums not here if not to help us find guidance and support from others?

I will answer for myself.... since you did not like my answer.
My background is evangelical and within that setting I have a college degree in Biblical studies. Part of those studies was to study other religions. The course name if I remember correctly, "Comparative Religions."

Each and every individual interprets scripture their own way. Or they can devote themselves to the doctrine to which their church ascribes like a sheep. If you do not want to be spoon fed then I suggest that you and your husband study every thing in a bible concordance that has to do with marriage, headship, wives, etc and come to your own conclusions. The Book of Mormon must have as many insights as The Holy Bible.

Asking a forum that does does not know your intimate private religious beliefs or those that you hold in mormonism will not get you anywhere unless there is another Mormon married couple who is struggling as you are.

To tell you the struggle I have had and have settled within myself as a non-practicing evangelical will not help you.
I have free will. That is a specific doctrine and I do not know if Mormons hold to that. I do know there are several versions of Mormonism.

whether or not I feel right continuing to live this lifestyle, and whether or not I feel God has given me his blessing.

Once again..no one can help you with this except you, husband and a study of what your God wants of you.
How can you expect to find blessings from a kinky community when we dont know you and all we can do is throw opinions. You and yours must do this work.

If you want to feel and know God's blessings, then you do the work and come up with the answer yourselves.

I mean NO disrespect. This is what I have had to do as well as many others. Do not short change yourself with advice or opinions when you have been equiped with whatever you need to do to find what you and yours need.

(in reply to rosanegra)

Post #: 36

RE: Is it possible to be a good Mormon and be kinky? - 10/3/2008 10:38:39 AM

clearshooter

Posts: 19
Joined: 6/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rosanegra

I am wondering if anyone knows if mormonism and kink are mutually exclusive. And I am not talking about polygamy, or any such thing like it.. by now, the LDS church has long since made it clear that polygamy is no longer a part of their belief. I know why it was, and I know why it no longer is, so I don't even want that to be a part of this discussion.

My question is, is it possible for my husband and I to have a D/s relationship involving healthy doses of bondage, discipline, and S&m (to a moderate extent) and still be members in good standing in the LDS church.

Don't read too much into it.. I am just trying to find some answers, and make a little bit of sense of some things that have happened recently in my life.

Absolutely! No doubt about it!

(in reply to rosanegra)

Post #: 37

RE: Is it possible to be a good Mormon and be kinky? - 10/3/2008 11:03:24 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
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Live by the golden rule "do unto other as you would have them do unto you" That's always a safe bet. Why someone would care what the church thinks about their sex habits is beyond me.

BadOne

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Post #: 38

RE: Is it possible to be a good Mormon and be kinky? - 10/3/2008 11:55:50 AM

masterforRT

Posts: 176
Joined: 5/16/2008
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From speaking to a few friends in the scene that live there, there is a good sized BDSM community right in Salt Lake City. I't a bit underground, but shoudn't be too hard to find...

I'm sure they could answer your questions better then we can.

< Message edited by masterforRT -- 10/3/2008 11:56:57 AM >

(in reply to newone11)

Post #: 39

RE: Is it possible to be a good Mormon and be kinky? - 10/3/2008 12:00:32 PM

FRSguy

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Joined: 9/4/2007
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I’m not Mormon but I do a new few Christian perspectives on it but not really sure how much of the beliefs in theology carries over but there is sort of a debate involved. In the Bible there are something like 144 total commandments and rules that people originally were suppose to follow. That kind of got kicked down to about 10 which were later somewhat brought down to about two that pretty much covered the basics of the philosophies.

The commands that were pretty much immediately thrown out were things like woman cant touch food in they are on there period and have to be locked away ect. Out of the big list of ten then you get down to somewhat of a debate over a couple of issues. The first one is the definition of sodomy. One definition is that its someone getting it in the ass… this makes sense because a lot of commands were related to things that stupid people do to get infections in a world without knowledge of bacteria and viruses. The other one is that Sodomy is anything that is not face-to-face penis in vagina sex. Not sure which one is actually accurate but it has to do with the changes of meanings over time…lol.

The other thing is the masturbation deal. The guy spilt his seed on the ground and he wasn’t well received because of it. There can be a couple of reasons for this. One reason could be that he wronged his brother because he would not impregnate his brothers’ wife which was for him violating a direct command or it could have been because his seed actually hit the ground and was sacred. I run with the first one because of several reasons one of which is that having a higher morality than God really cant be well received…lol.

The next thing is to consider is weather or not people that are married even qualify as having sex in the same way that unmarried people do. Kind of like if both people are to be considered one person than sex between married people really wouldn’t be considered sex in the same way but closer to masturbation… okay it’s a stretch. As far as asking any kind of church leader you can always ask if you can ask. There are also tons of sights out there that debate endlessly on such topics by people that study all this for a living or as a hobby. They are usually pretty friendly and some of them will exhaustively research for ya. Kind of like a lawyer in search of loophole…. Lol and there are three or four.

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 40

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