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Rednekcol -> RE: Is it possible to be a good Mormon and be kinky? (10/2/2008 6:32:34 PM)
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As a precursor to my response, I will qualify it with the following disclaimer: I am practicing LDS and have a fair bit of experience with the policies of the church. I have also undertaken the task of finding out whether or not it is in line with our faith to participate in these relationships. That said, I have no real authority to make any claims for the church whatsoever, so please understand that this is my own opinion and understanding.
There have been many practices that have been discouraged by church leaders because of the dynamic they might bring into a relationship. Specifically, while the church promotes what would undoubtedly be seen as a patriarchal family structure, we have a firm believe in the equal partnership of men and women in marriage. When the church made statements about acts like oral sex, it made them in the context that acts in the marriage should not objectify either person, but should strengthen the mutual respect a husband and wife had for one another. Given the change in attitudes in society about such acts, it is not surprising to me that oral sex is no longer used as an icon of that sort of action, as it no longer is viewed (generally speaking) as objectifying.
I believe that this principle should be extended to any BDSM relationship a mormon would consider having. My feeling is that there is both great possibility for strengthening a relationship and for degradation. In such pursuits, the former should be sought, and the latter avoided. While different roles are engaged, even permanently in some cases, neither partner should be degraded or lifted up over the other in their eyes. While it may be difficult for outsiders to understand how this is possible, I believe that this will make sense to most people who have explored this type of relationship. The difference is very clear in my own mind.
I have often thought of writing an article on how a D/s relationship fits together with scriptural teaching, but I do not intend to do that here. If I ever do, perhaps I will post a link here. For now, I will simply state that there are several patterns in the scripture, both the Bible, and in the Book of Mormon and other modern revelation, which include a very set difference in gender roles. Another theme familiar to most mormons is embedded in the phrase "opposition in all things". It is very clearly discussed how opposition enhances experience, a fact which is never clearer than in many BDSM scenes.
All in all, I do not know what your specific kink is, nor what attracts you. My maxim is that if you have cultivated a righteous life enough that you can recognize the Holy Ghost, it is wise to remember that "the Holy Ghost shall tell you all things what you should do". After baptism, we are given the gift of the Holy Ghost to guide us, and if we listen, we won't err. In the end, be open to His guidance as you explore, and don't rationalize anything, and I think you can enjoy much of this lifestyle with certain assurance that you are not violating any rules or principles.
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