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RE: Thoughts? - 9/29/2008 3:22:07 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Expecting your partner to change into something their not is unfair to them...and ultimately frustrating for you. Change is hard and therefore unlikely...and the pressure to change can slowly undermine whatever good there was/is in the relationship.

Help him do some research...take him to a party...and see if he's REALLY interested. If he's not, then you have to decide how much fulfillment you need in this area in order to be happy.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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(in reply to PuNkYkAt)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Thoughts? - 9/29/2008 4:25:23 AM   
WhiplashSmile2


Posts: 526
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline 		I know my advice here might be a little off the beaten path compared to what other people are suggesting.

First and foremost, since he's agreed to explore this.  You need to be patient with him and understand that he has to work past some social conditioning about it being wrong to slap girls, pull their hair and call them dirty names.

He needs to take one step at a time in a pace he's comfortable with.   I think it would be fair of you to give him and chance with this, be patient and do a lot of communicating.

You have to see where everything goes, one day at a time.  He's going to want some feedback and reassurance from you in the process.

There's only one way to find out, and that is to give it a try and don't give up easy about it.  It might take some time and a little work, he just might suprise you.   It's difficult to tell, nobody honestly owns a crystal ball.   Nobody on this website honestly knows him nor you well enough to be able to pass a judgement about what is right/wrong.

I'm just expressing a positive two thumbs up and I support you guys making a go of this.  However, don't get discouraged too quickly or have super high expectations that add pressure to things.   Take things one step at a time, and let the journey begin.

(in reply to PuNkYkAt)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Thoughts? - 9/29/2008 10:54:16 AM   
tasha_tart


Posts: 385
Joined: 2/20/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		PK

I can totally understand the lack of energy that his meds cause.  This would certainly be an issue in a large, crowded, noisy club.  However, are there any BDSM-oriented events in your area, rather than big fetish party type events?

The things I'm thinking of tend to be smaller, quieter, and much more focused on "play" (not the best word, but it will do).  He might find that easier to handle.  He'd certainly get to see some of the activities that you'd like him to get into.

Tasha




_____________________________


"Sex without love is an empty experience. But as empty experiences go, it's one of the better ones."...Woody Allen

(in reply to PuNkYkAt)
Profile   Post #: 43
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