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How important is the scenes psychological aspect to you? - 9/19/2008 3:01:20 PM   
DominaErotica00


Posts: 46
Joined: 6/8/2004
From: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Status: offline 		In My experience and opinion the psychological aspects of the B&D S/M Lifestyle is more important than the physical...as it's said free your mind and the rest will follow! Although having fetishes based upon actual physical scenarios is erotic, fun and sometimes entertaining and I really do enjoy them.To relinquish your mind and give in to being lead down a road to self discovery as a submissive person is the key to fulfillment and a positive experience. Especially when traveling on that journey with someone who understands and follows this way of thinking. It is important to delve into the key to your reason of being...

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RE: How important is the scenes psychological aspect to... - 9/19/2008 3:20:34 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaErotica00
To relinquish your mind and give in to being lead down a road to self discovery as a submissive person is the key to fulfillment and a positive experience. Especially when traveling on that journey with someone who understands and follows this way of thinking. It is important to delve into the key to your reason of being...


A serious spanking and a hard fucking are the keys to fulfillment for me.  I don't need to delve into the key to my reason of being.


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to DominaErotica00)
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RE: How important is the scenes psychological aspect to... - 9/19/2008 4:19:44 PM   
bluefireroses


Posts: 37
Joined: 8/22/2008
Status: offline 		It is important for everyone to know where they come from, who they are now, and who they want to be in the future. Any number of theories will illustrate this from Frued to Maslow and beyond.

For me, being submissive isn't about finding my reason for being. I know I have very submissive tendancies, among many other traits to my personality. However, being with One who understands where I am coming from does help.

I had a trainer who once told me that D/s opens unknown doors to all levels of emotions.  Is this what you mean?

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RE: How important is the scenes psychological aspect to... - 9/19/2008 4:34:02 PM   
shiazn03


Posts: 90
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline 		in my opinion, both the psychological and the physical aspect of BDSM are important to me.  i don't think i would fully enjoy a scene with just one without the other, in some way shape or form. 




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RE: How important is the scenes psychological aspect to... - 9/19/2008 4:37:22 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Depends on the scene and where we want to go.  Sometimes it really is just about being fucked like a piece of meat, or not caring who is doing what but we're all doing intense fun stuff.

I don't know that you can ever divorce or ignore mental from physical- but I would not say one is universally better or more important than the other.

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RE: How important is the scenes psychological aspect to... - 9/19/2008 5:43:12 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		 
The psychology of everything fascinates me, not just the BDSM part of life.  My favorite novels are the ones where the author delves into the psyche of the protagonist.  I analyze people’s actions, from my friends to a person standing in front of me at the check out counter.  I analyze myself. 
But give me an intense S+M encounter with lots of sex and Whoo-hoo!  My brain shuts up and just lets me feeeel.

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"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

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RE: How important is the scenes psychological aspect to... - 9/19/2008 6:08:23 PM   
Evility


Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline 		People talk about the physical, emotional, mental and psychological aspects of bdsm like they are totally separate entities. I have never played not even a single time where all of these things were not in play (pun intended). It's almost impossible to divest one from the rest.



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RE: How important is the scenes psychological aspect to... - 9/19/2008 6:24:13 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		Psychological aspects are extremely important to me.  My mind is a very active place on a constant basis.  That being said, I like the complete experience.  No one is better than the other, but for me there must be some play in the mental and emotional arenas for me to stay engaged.

The pyschological journey is not just for the submissive either.  There are places to explore for the dominant as well.

lovingpet

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RE: How important is the scenes psychological aspect to... - 9/19/2008 7:43:48 PM   
hereyesruponyou


Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline 		the best fuck is the mind fuck???

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RE: How important is the scenes psychological aspect to... - 9/19/2008 9:31:32 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline 		The psychological and spiritual elements are what give meaning to the physicl acts for me.  A crude exmple: a pro forma blow job is meaningless-her sucking me off because it makes her feel like a good little girl to suck and please, and because she loves me, well, that's all there is to it.

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True masters, true subs and slaves, X many years in the lifestyle, Old Guard this and High Protocol that--it's like a convention of D&D nerds were allowed to have sex once, and they decided to make a religion out of it.

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RE: How important is the scenes psychological aspect to... - 9/20/2008 2:00:34 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		Both need to be present for it to be fully satisfying for me .. I can enjoy a sound beating .. and I can enjoy an intellectual connection or a mind fuck ... but to really get my rocks off I need the person hurting me to be inside my head.

I say hurting .. because more sensual play ... I *cannot* enjoy that without an intellectual or emotional connection with the Top .. I am just left cold by it otherwise


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RE: How important is the scenes psychological aspect to... - 9/20/2008 4:00:10 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		Going along with what Softness said. I can play without thought or feeling, but it is not as good as when I know the girl, her desires, weaknesses and she knows me. That’s a lot of the fun and passion for me. So, yes, psychological (along with intellectual compatibility) aspects are important.
 
So many things are based on our pasts that have resulted in our desires that we would be foolish to ignore the whole idea when we set a scene up.
 
What if I knew a submissive had a fetish for locks, wouldn’t it be an erotic thing to lock her in chains? If I know she has rape fantasies, I may gear my play that way. It’s not exactly role play, but a mindset I’ll have as I lead the activity.
 
Taking it further into your question, I would also set the tone by talking and playing up to this fetish. I would tell her what I would do to her, show her the chain, maybe lock one around her neck to begin with and so on.

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You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

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RE: How important is the scenes psychological aspect to... - 9/20/2008 6:23:51 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		What on earth is "a key to my reason for being". We're here because our parents had babies. And what's wrong with a hard spanking and incredible sex? Why isn't that good enough?

As far as that psychological, you must have had early trauma to enjoy this nonsense? Nope, this is good, clean physical fun. Well, clean for me because I'm not a fan of WAM.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: How important is the scenes psychological aspect to... - 9/20/2008 7:54:20 AM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline 		Psychological, physical, mental, emotional ... it's all got to be there for me.   That's what works for me.   Certainly doesn't mean it will work for anyone else.  Although I don't mean that I have to figure out my self worth.  It just means that my head needs to be screwed on straight and I want to be into Him as much as He is to me.   If we're clicking on all accounts, then everything will fall into place.   No need to over think anything. 

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RE: How important is the scenes psychological aspect to... - 9/20/2008 2:28:47 PM   
petpete


Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		.
For me its the psychology of the person who takes charge of me that makes me boil inside

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RE: How important is the scenes psychological aspect to... - 9/20/2008 2:39:08 PM   
greeneyes600


Posts: 47
Joined: 9/16/2008
Status: offline 		the mental side is everything for me....

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RE: How important is the scenes psychological aspect to... - 9/20/2008 3:17:24 PM   
DominaErotica00


Posts: 46
Joined: 6/8/2004
From: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Status: offline 		If a serious fuck and a hard spanking is good enough for you then that's your desires and decisions, I have no problem with that nor am I being judgemental. That's the beauty of diversity..some people feel the way you do and some lean more towards the psychological.

(in reply to CalifChick)
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RE: How important is the scenes psychological aspect to... - 9/20/2008 3:18:28 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Evility

People talk about the physical, emotional, mental and psychological aspects of bdsm like they are totally separate entities. I have never played not even a single time where all of these things were not in play (pun intended). It's almost impossible to divest one from the rest.



I agree that for me, there is little division of the aspects of physical, emotional or mental aspects of BDSM just as there is little division on the D/s side.  During a scene, one aspect may come into play more than the others but for me, each facet adds to the other facets, making the play more 3-dimensional.  In the D/s dynamic just the positions we are in adds a mental and emotional factor that is emphasized by the occasional, sometimes momentary, physical expression of those positions.

Usually...when you consider the relationship of the two people involved in what appears to be just a good hard spanking, you know that though what is going on is mainly physical there are mental and emotional processes going on before, during, and/ or shortly afterwards.

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RE: How important is the scenes psychological aspect to... - 9/20/2008 4:12:11 PM   
DominaErotica00


Posts: 46
Joined: 6/8/2004
From: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Status: offline 		It is understandable that not everyone is going to understand or agree with what I said, really did not expect them to. In My post here I did say that I also enjoy and agree with the physical aspects of the scene and it's very fulfilling to Me. The creativity and art of the esthetics is a great part of why I love indulging in scene play...As far as the comment made here by DesFIP asking Me ..."What on earth is "a key to my reason of being". Well, obviously you missed the whole point of the psychological level of this Lifestyle if you have to ask. What I meant by "a key to the reason of My being" is the deeper level as to why a person is here as a sub or Domme and dealing with the substance of where it comes from and to release and enjoy the ride of self discovery, not who we were born from of course that's from your Mom and Dad!.... DesFIP also asked if I had early trauma to enjoy this nonsense. First of all trauma was "not" the reason why I entered into this Lifestyle as a Domme. I was and always will be intrigued with the human mind and how it ticks. I like to know why we lead the lives that we do and where it all came from mentally. I am facinated with having indepth conversations with people in and out the scene regarding psychology, our emotions and spiritual connections. It's sad that you consider it "nonsense", then what is your point of even being involved if you think this way. Being in wonderment about the psychological side is good clean fun too and allows us to better innerstand us as human beings. I am not one to just pick up a whip and just whack on someone just for the sake of doing it, I am curious as to what's behind it. The psychological, emotional, mental are the more non tangible aspects and mesh together. The physical is underneath all of them and also plays an important part as far as I am concerned. I have come across numerous people that only enjoy having their minds tapped into and being controlled without anything physical and totally get off on that....to each is own! I can't imagine there are not alot of people that need to find out what makes them tick inside. There are numerous amounts of people that are actually curious and on a mission to figure this out for themselves, and I think that is very healthy and necessary. Some people are afraid to even go there in fear of what they might find...in comes denial! As I said before, free your mind and the rest will follow....

(in reply to DominaErotica00)
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RE: How important is the scenes psychological aspect to... - 9/20/2008 4:14:35 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaErotica00

If a serious fuck and a hard spanking is good enough for you then that's your desires and decisions, I have no problem with that nor am I being judgemental. That's the beauty of diversity..some people feel the way you do and some lean more towards the psychological.


I was trying, apparently not very well, to lighten up the seemingly very heavy statement you made about keys to the reason of your being, the keys to fulfillment and a positive experience, etc.

I don't separate them, and I don't get deeply into the key to the "reason for my being."


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to DominaErotica00)
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