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How does humor affect your interaction in bdsm? - 9/11/2008 12:13:46 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		Years and years ago, I was owned by a woman who ran a professional house of domination where many other young women worked. On many occasions, I was tasked to give her really long massages, and during that time we would talk for hours on whatever subjects seemed to interest her at the time. I tend to be a pretty funny person and always have been able to find a bizarre outlook to almost any situation without turning the conversation negative or insulting, so there were many times where we would be laughing nonstop for periods of time.

One day, I was doing the dishes in the kitchen when one of the other mistresses in the house asked me how it was possible that I was my mistress's slave when all we ever do is laugh. She said it was not true dominance and submission if I was so free to be able to make jokes and appear non-subservient. She was actually quite upset with me, stating that I was disrespecting my owner because my disposition was not one of submission but some kind of attempt to be equals with her.

Now, I'm sure it would be easy to take this thread and criticize this young woman, but that's not the purpose of this thread. What I wanted to ask is how does humor affect your interactions with the person(s) you play? Does it not belong? Does it always belong? Does it enhance the experience? Is it only one-sided (such as the dominant is allowed to use humor, but the submissive is not)? Is it just one of those things? Is it something you seek out? Is it something you avoid?


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RE: How does humor affect your interaction in bdsm? - 9/11/2008 12:26:18 PM   
Bstardsbitch


Posts: 154
Joined: 11/19/2005
Status: offline 		It was Sir's often off the wall humour that first attracted me to Him. I love to make Him laugh, so yeah humour is important in our relationship. We laugh a lot, even when "playing", it only takes a look or a word and we can both be in fits of laughter. Though more often than not it's Him laughing at some predicament He's put me in lol.

You know the saying, "If it aint fun you're not doing it right".....how true
xx

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RE: How does humor affect your interaction in bdsm? - 9/11/2008 12:30:59 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Humour is a part of our relatonship.  We do not actively 'seek it out' - it flows naturally not forced or depended upon.  It's part of life and enhances any relationship as long as the humour is compatable.
 
the.dark.

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RE: How does humor affect your interaction in bdsm? - 9/11/2008 12:38:40 PM   
Bstardsbitch


Posts: 154
Joined: 11/19/2005
Status: offline 		Me thinks it would be a pretty boring relationship that had no humour whatsoever.
xx

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RE: How does humor affect your interaction in bdsm? - 9/11/2008 1:00:59 PM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		Oh dear lord as far as I know, human beings are the only creatures who laugh, I could be wrong of course.  One of the very first thing Master and I commented on was "I never thought I'd ever meet anyone who understands my weird sense of humor.  My Master makes me laugh every single day, He goes out of His way to do or say something funny.  Hell, I would be disrespecting Him if I didn't laugh but it would take a dedicated sour disposition not to laugh. 

As I alluded to in another thread, I am about sick to death of people who are so miserable that they cannot stand to see anyone have fun.  Hell, one of the best things about being a grandma is that I get to do things a 6 year old does and enjoy the heck out of it.  I'm proud that my face has laugh lines around my eyes, proves how I've been spending the past 55 years.

Sheesh why take life or even BDSM so seriously.  Yesterday a local woman, only 24, died when some idiot was driving the wrong way on the expressway.  Life is too fucking short to not take every advantage of every opportunity to laugh.

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RE: How does humor affect your interaction in bdsm? - 9/11/2008 1:01:35 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I will say here what I have often said before.  Laughter is a part of life.  Therefore, it is a part of the lifestyle.

On a serious, funny note, a sub who can make Me laugh as a part of his service is always more endearing to Me.  It is the one thing that I say I need.  A sense of humor.  I want him to find things funny with Me.  Spark a smile or a laugh.  Make My day brighter.  Bring us closer together through the lighter things.

I guess what I'm saying is that, if a submissive's job is to make My life easier, wouldn't it be easier if I spent My life with a smile on My face?


PS.  You have mail.


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RE: How does humor affect your interaction in bdsm? - 9/11/2008 1:03:51 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

Oh dear lord as far as I know, human beings are the only creatures who laugh, I could be wrong of course. 




Well, there is, of course, the laughing hyena. Okay, they don't really laugh. But they're a lot less depressing than the Passive-Aggressive Hyena.


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The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

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RE: How does humor affect your interaction in bdsm? - 9/11/2008 1:05:38 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		I tend to encourage laughing, joking, and many other forms of non-sterotypical behavior with people I've dated and been with.

And without a sense of humor, reading these boards would make me a very grumpy person!!

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RE: How does humor affect your interaction in bdsm? - 9/11/2008 1:16:48 PM   
badlilthang


Posts: 357
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline 		oh...humor to me is essential...i can not live without it. i laugh at myself - for doing/saying stupid stuff - you know - the mouth engages before brain moments!! - and also - a Dom that has that little spark - and can joke around - also about serious things at times..makes me relax....

No way i see Him as less dom...s..


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RE: How does humor affect your interaction in bdsm? - 9/11/2008 1:29:30 PM   
Gleegal67


Posts: 218
Joined: 6/18/2007
From: Phoenix
Status: offline 		Humor? Laughter? Giggling?

Yup...none of that kind of behavior with me....nope...nada...OMG!  I can't even type it without laughing!

Just because I'm smiling and laughing all the time does not make me any less submissive...there's a time for joy...there's a time for quiet...it's the quiet moments I have the hard time with...I start thinking goofy thoughts...and the giggles start all over again!  Even in moments of receiving a beating with a 10inch diameter styrofoam bat...now THAT is just plain funny!!  Don't even get me started on the noodles for a pool...it's like getting beat with faerie wings...this bdsm stuff...serious business I tell you! ;)

Humor is part of my soul...it's like my eyes being blue...or my freckles...just one part of who I am as a whole...thank goodness too!

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RE: How does humor affect your interaction in bdsm? - 9/11/2008 1:38:36 PM   
Bstardsbitch


Posts: 154
Joined: 11/19/2005
Status: offline 		 Even in moments of receiving a beating with a 10inch diameter styrofoam bat
 
OMG....I thought we must be the only ones to use one lol.............and yeah....that IS funny, i dare any one not to giggle lol
xx

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RE: How does humor affect your interaction in bdsm? - 9/11/2008 1:49:22 PM   
Gleegal67


Posts: 218
Joined: 6/18/2007
From: Phoenix
Status: offline 		BB...oh no darlin...it started out with the new game...."Don't worry...this won't leave a mark" Game...let me tell you...with my bubbly butt...the pressure bounces my butt-cheeks together...and they bruise in between...talk about hilarious!!

The noodles...are just as funny too! ;)

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RE: How does humor affect your interaction in bdsm? - 9/11/2008 2:07:56 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Laughter means everything to me.  I have been in situations where a joke or play went too far, but those are rare.  I see a security in a submissive being free and secure enough to go close to a line and make me laugh without crossing that line. It is also an art I think.  The basis for the relationship in the first place creates a safe place where both can enjoy and I don't see anything unsubmissive about being able to make a dominant laugh.  It is a talent, intelligence and life outlook that I see in it all and it is pure pleasure!

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RE: How does humor affect your interaction in bdsm? - 9/11/2008 2:12:27 PM   
StrictnSaucy


Posts: 363
Joined: 1/6/2005
Status: offline 		Humour is a big part of our day to day being - life would be very dull otherwise!

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RE: How does humor affect your interaction in bdsm? - 9/11/2008 2:20:59 PM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		Oh, there has to be laughter... there just has to be.
 
I remember one time we were in Milwaukee on business and we hit an antique mall. I/we found several old dictionaries (I have a passion for them) and when we got back to the hotel we were looking through them. A time was there was a LOT of info in a dictionary, not just definitions. Anyway... one of them had a section that gave you the dates when all of the presidents served, how long they lived and what they died of. A LOT of them died from Consumption. Well, we asked our girl at the time if she knew what exactly "consumption" was?  Without missing a beat she said "Well, you're surrounded by dictionaries, why not look it up?" As we sat there with dictionaries in our laps.... I laughed sooo hard! She was worried that she may have sounded too... something other then submissive... but we loved it. Yeah, lots of humor in this house!!
 
How can there not be? I have one brain fart (Cerebral flatulence) after another. Twice was canning tomotoes one day and she had the jars in a stock pot on the stove. I looked in there and at the bottom of the pan (of water!!) was a towel (to keep the jars from bouncing against the bottom and breaking)... my brain fart? I thought, wow, that's a good way to start a fire... let's set a towel on the burner. I laughed till I had tears in my eyes....
 
Jewel

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RE: How does humor affect your interaction in bdsm? - 9/11/2008 2:23:38 PM   
IvyMorgan


Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline 		I have a laugh that can/does sound like a tortured gerbil (or other small rodent type creature).

Unleashing it on a dominant is like payback :P  Unleashing it on Softness was just evil *grin*

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RE: How does humor affect your interaction in bdsm? - 9/11/2008 2:37:03 PM   
Surrenderwithin


Posts: 368
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline 		This post caused me to chuckle slightly; not at the OP or the even the post but rather the standing rule in our household regarding this very topic. Here is our rule: I am free to say whatever I wish, so long as it amuses him. I get to make the choice on whether or not I say whatever it is and take that risk of whether he is amused or not.

Now, we have been together for nearly 9 years now and I know him well enough to know what he will and will not find amusing... but that has not always been the case. I think it is a fine rule though, a mighty fine rule that reflects us and our personalities.

Maggi

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RE: How does humor affect your interaction in bdsm? - 9/11/2008 2:43:12 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		I couldn't live without humor.  It's just there, in every aspect, in every relationship of my life.  The first thing that attracts me to another person is a great sense of humor.  I can find humor anywhere and everywhere if given the chance.  And when I'm around people who don't seem to have a sense of humor, I can't wait to get away from them.

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RE: How does humor affect your interaction in bdsm? - 9/11/2008 3:27:50 PM   
completenz


Posts: 315
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		We laugh all the time, life is too short not to
C & c

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RE: How does humor affect your interaction in bdsm? - 9/11/2008 3:37:08 PM   
TysGalilah


Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline 		  Our relationship seems to run the gambit of emotions, and I love it that way ...
from very serious to very silly and everything inbetween...
 
I love laughter, love to laugh and hearing Tyson laugh feels like a warm snuggle around my heart..
 
 

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.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

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