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RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear - 8/13/2008 3:30:16 PM   
Evility


Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline 		I don't want her to fear for her safety or well being but beyond that caveat I love her fear. It's the one thing that drives me. I seek out sadistic activities that exploit her fear. The run of the mill stuff (like impact play) has little to do with what we do when we play. During the rest of the day there is no fear. You might not distinguish us from any other couple in love.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear - 8/13/2008 3:33:47 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I couldn't imagine being with someone that I feared. It's just not something that attracts me to someone. I don't want to live my life always feeling like I'm walking on glass.

There are times when I may be afraid of something he does to me but it's not him I fear. It's that momentary fight or flight that kicks in but passes after the event is over.


(in reply to StrongSpirit)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear - 8/13/2008 4:01:12 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
Do you want them to fear you?

Why yes or no?

If so, all the time or just during intense edge play?

How does fear factor in your relationship outside of the BDSM activities?

Anything else you can think of on the subject......

For me it's just something I enjoy as a kink.  Fear will occur in life elsewhere of course, but I do not want to create or initiate it.  I've never seen fear useful in the long term.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear - 8/13/2008 5:15:05 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Fear has no place in my relationships.  I want my women to know the only person who should know fear is anyone who attempts to lay a hand on them or to interfere in them.  I want them to feel safer with me than with anyone else they have ever been with, period, safer emotionally, physically, and I am working on financially, although that is still a ways off, hell I even want them to feel safer when they dream.

(in reply to StrongSpirit)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear - 8/13/2008 5:18:38 PM   
coupleowl


Posts: 473
Joined: 7/4/2008
Status: offline 		I don't want my sub to fear me. However I do believe that she should be a afriad of disappointing me. 

(in reply to StrongSpirit)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear - 8/13/2008 5:41:27 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		I wish for my property to have a reverant fear of me. Basically a fear of not being pleasing or angering me. My greatest punishment towards her is showing my disappointment usually, though she has had her ass and feet strapped a few times.


quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I was just reading a post in the sub/slave section asking whether or not they feared their dominant. Which made me wonder how the dominants felt about fear in their sub/slaves.

Do you want them to fear you?

Why yes or no?

If so, all the time or just during intense edge play?

How does fear factor in your relationship outside of the BDSM activities?

Anything else you can think of on the subject......


_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to LaTigresse)
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RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear - 8/13/2008 5:43:12 PM   
opposingtwilight


Posts: 684
Joined: 6/13/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Fear has no place in my relationships.  I want my women to know the only person who should know fear is anyone who attempts to lay a hand on them or to interfere in them.  I want them to feel safer with me than with anyone else they have ever been with, period, safer emotionally, physically, and I am working on financially, although that is still a ways off, hell I even want them to feel safer when they dream.


I melted a little when I read this. :)


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(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear - 8/13/2008 5:45:15 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I want them to fear my disappointment in them

I do not want them to fear the lost of my undying love for them

I want them to fear what I could do to them

I do not want them to fear that I would intentionally harm them.

I want them to fear the pain of being without me

I do not want them to fear that I would abandon them.

I want them to fear Disobedience to me.

I do not want them to fear my Authority.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear - 8/13/2008 5:49:53 PM   
Racquelle


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline 		I don't want fear so much as my boy or girl knowing I will follow through on what I have warned them I will do.  Using some fear for a temporary mindfuck can be fine, but on an ongoing basis, I mostly just want everyone to have a good time and be happy.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear - 8/13/2008 5:53:41 PM   
chicagoswitch


Posts: 68
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Fear has no place in my relationships.  I want my women to know the only person who should know fear is anyone who attempts to lay a hand on them or to interfere in them.  I want them to feel safer with me than with anyone else they have ever been with, period, safer emotionally, physically, and I am working on financially, although that is still a ways off, hell I even want them to feel safer when they dream.


That is absolutely beautiful.  What a lucky woman.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear - 8/13/2008 5:59:39 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I want them to fear my disappointment in them

I do not want them to fear the lost of my undying love for them

I want them to fear what I could do to them

I do not want them to fear that I would intentionally harm them.

I want them to fear the pain of being without me

I do not want them to fear that I would abandon them.

I want them to fear Disobedience to me.

I do not want them to fear my Authority.


Well said Sir!

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear - 8/13/2008 6:52:46 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I agree Michael, excellent post KoM. I think you've come closest to putting into words what I've been trying to work through since reading the other thread.

For some reason fear itself isn't something I've ever given alot of thought to, even though is does have a place in some aspects of all of this. Regardless of the individual and their unique relationship.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 8/13/2008 6:55:40 PM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear - 8/13/2008 7:11:05 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I want them to fear my disappointment in them

I do not want them to fear the lost of my undying love for them

I want them to fear what I could do to them

I do not want them to fear that I would intentionally harm them.

I want them to fear the pain of being without me

I do not want them to fear that I would abandon them.

I want them to fear Disobedience to me.

I do not want them to fear my Authority.

I know what you're saying and where you're going with it and how it works for you- but it doesn't for me.  My problem is that my partner DOES fear those things, and the fear prevents him from taking necessary risks.  He fears disappointing me to the point where he will repress what he knows is right for him- which ultimately makes none of us happy.

So no fear, of any sort.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear - 8/13/2008 7:22:01 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		No fear.  Excitement, yes, anticipation, yes, but not fear, not ever.

I need my relationships to be a safe haven, not a place where I have to protect my partner from *me*.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear - 8/13/2008 7:34:26 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		I want them to have adoration for the vision that our collective is based on.
 
And to fear in themselves-the reaper that kills bright futures.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear - 8/13/2008 7:56:27 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

Do you want them to fear you?

Why yes or no?

Afraid of things I don’t want them to be afraid of, no.  In fact, I will work to overcome phobias and personality weaknesses that create unwanted fears.  I want them to love me, trust and be comfortable with me not afraid. 
quote:

If so, all the time or just during intense edge play?

But fear for other reasons like edge play… oh yes.  In fact, terror is ok!  Cry for me baby, mascara stained cheeks, quivering lips, shaky hands, trembling voice, weak knees, quickened pulse, shallow panting breaths, puffy red eyes and a dripping wet pussy are hawt!
quote:

How does fear factor in your relationship outside of the BDSM activities?

The list is long.  Normal relationship fears.  I am as motivated by fear as my partner.  If someone values the relationship and their roles within it, fear (not terror) is often *partly* a motivation not to lose it.  It motivates us both to use that little bit of extra care and respect that shows they are important and you care more about them than the rest of the world.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear - 8/13/2008 8:34:56 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

I want them to have adoration for the vision that our collective is based on.
 
And to fear in themselves-the reaper that kills bright futures.




< Message edited by SimplyMichael -- 8/13/2008 8:39:13 PM >

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear - 8/13/2008 8:46:07 PM   
ChainedExistence


Posts: 507
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline 		I love fear...I love feeling my heart beat hard in my chest...I love being NOT QUITE SURE ...I love seeing the fire burn in his eyes..love the way my own excitement feeds off my fear till I am shaking, till I am sobbing,  till I am nearly paralyzed. I love feeling small and timid and afraid. Now deep down in my heart of hearts I know I can entirely trust him...but on the surface ....the fear is simply exquisite.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear - 8/13/2008 9:05:38 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		this is fear.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1JwVGZO6LY

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Questions for M and D types, on fear - 8/13/2008 9:07:55 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I think there is a vast difference between "living in fear" and "getting wet over fear"...

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 40
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