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RE: Proper Manners - 7/27/2008 7:22:21 AM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

All characters are fictitious and any resemblance to anyone whether real, twue, wannabe or fake is actually pretty much coincidental.

whew breathes a sigh of relief that you didn't out me........

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/27/2008 8:03:23 AM

IrishMist

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Proper Manners.

You have go to be kidding.

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/27/2008 8:23:34 AM

sailorfrank

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Well my my?? looks like I kicked over the can of worms? Seems like I did come across as lacking manners myself and will work on that as well.

Loved all of the diverse responses as well. And can see this is indeed a community with all types of Humans in it. Even tho we are all human some of us do fit in a class of some kind yes? Myself could be classed a asshole? But I can live with it time to time.

The one personwho asked about the flogger...its a soft flogger no marks of any kind with it, but it does give the arm some exercise!

So thanks for all the honest answers. And I will sure think about my words before I post again. Take care all.

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/27/2008 9:40:21 AM

mbes

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Always nice to see a "newbie (to the boards)" who can take all responses with a smile. That alone will serve you well around here.

I don't talk up to doms or down to subs, only with my other half. It's not my style and he doesn't want that either. There are plenty here who do seem to like it, so if it's your preference, you should be able to find like company.
Now I have to go ponder what class I fit into, I'm afraid it might be the same one you claimed, so maybe I'll see you there.

< Message edited by mbes -- 7/27/2008 9:41:40 AM >

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/27/2008 9:41:54 AM

Viridana

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If you practice common vanilla courtesy you'll be just fine

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/27/2008 11:50:16 AM

Prinsexx

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My mind is like a sewer and my mouth is like a Holy shrine. I don't know what class that puts me in.

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/27/2008 12:28:45 PM

IvyMorgan

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I started life calling everyone here "Sir" etc, and grew out of that phase when I discovered many people here were not the same as the people I had met before, who demandev the title.

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/27/2008 1:53:22 PM

Viridana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

My mind is like a sewer and my mouth is like a Holy shrine. I don't know what class that puts me in.

A holy sewer?

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/27/2008 2:29:15 PM

StrongSpirit

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I agree that manners are lacking. I see subs that are looking for a master USING ALL CAPS, all the time. Shouting might be an appropriate way for a dom to attact men, but for subs?

But part of the problem is one person's manners is another person's rudeness.

When you are in an elevator in front of a lady, a gentleman gets out of the elevator first even if it is not his stop, then get back in after the lady has left. This is the way I was taught. But there are many men that want to be a gentleman but were never taught. So they simply stand there in her way, making her life difficult, while the lady leaves, then follow her. I consider them ignorant fools, while some of them may consider me ill mannered.

On the other hand, a slave is not a lady, and you don't treat her that way. The proper way to treat a submissive varies with the sub. Similarly, the proper way to treat a dom varies.

< Message edited by StrongSpirit -- 7/27/2008 2:36:34 PM >

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/27/2008 2:53:43 PM

beargonewild

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sailorfrank

Hello all! New to Collar Me but not new to the lifestyle. But after a break of several years to refresh. I need to know what manners are left? Dont want to step on any toes here but being a Dom... can if you like it!

I notice mostly that someSubs can be demanding. And other Doms/Mistress`s seem quite young as well. I think there should still be proper ways to address others both up and down.

So thanks for any help you can give this older Dom. Older yes but not senile!

I found by extending common courtesy to other people irregardless of their label works fine. After all, treat others how you want to be treated and all should be fine.

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/27/2008 3:08:55 PM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit

I agree that manners are lacking. I see subs that are looking for a master USING ALL CAPS, all the time. Shouting might be an appropriate way for a dom to attact men, but for subs?

i simply have to agree. Screaming is far more attractive.

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/28/2008 12:23:34 AM

SurrenderForMe

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I look for and want common courtesy. Anything more is phony, online roleplay and not my thing. I have not changed that stance in 24 years.

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/28/2008 12:28:09 AM

Leatherist

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"Leave it to Beaver" stopped running in the 60's.

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/28/2008 12:41:50 AM

myotherself

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Viridana

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

My mind is like a sewer and my mouth is like a Holy shrine. I don't know what class that puts me in.

A holy sewer?

I've 'talked to God down the porcelain telephone'...but I'm guessing that's not the same as a holy sewer...

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/28/2008 6:22:09 AM

pixidustpet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit
On the other hand, a slave is not a lady, and you don't treat her that way. The proper way to treat a submissive varies with the sub. Similarly, the proper way to treat a dom varies.

i'll disagree gently with you on the "a slave is not a lady and you dont treat her that way".

Daddy and TheEngineer are BOTH gentlemen, and both treat me as a lady in public. we dont impose our kink on others, they both open doors and hold chairs for me.

and in the home, they are both treated as the rulers of my heart that they are. i wait on them, and care for their needs and wants.

i'd say the first sentence i quoted and the second dont necessarilly line up.

kitten

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/28/2008 9:35:45 AM

sailorfrank

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Nice point you made and yes everyone needs to be treated properly in real life and in training as well. Manners did not die out totally with "Leave it to Beaver".....cant remember that one before my time!! Manners and common courtsey of others is always the better route to impress.

Like "beargonewild" stated we all should be treated like we would want others to treat us and do the same for them..even strangers! Now as far as the Class thing that popped in here. Yes we are in different classes and all of our own choosing so lets be honest about it okay? But have to like the switches as they dont mind changing from time to time. Todays world we all need to keep a open mind, and I for one shall try to do that here as well!

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/28/2008 9:55:30 AM

Missokyst

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I never think of myself in a lower class. I choose mates who are similar in status to myself. I am theirs because they don't need to feel superior by making or choosing someone who is not at their level. I like my men with more confidence than that.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: sailorfrank

Yes we are in different classes and all of our own choosing so lets be honest about it okay? But have to like the switches as they dont mind changing from time to time. Todays world we all need to keep a open mind, and I for one shall try to do that here as well!

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/28/2008 10:10:09 AM

Prodromoi

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Proper manners, as far as I'm concerned, means courtesy and civility. I don't think that a universal answer to the question will ever be found... people are too individual for a "one rule fits all" approach.

I've never got the slashy capital letter thing; it always strikes me as forced. I've met subs who will always address a dom (any dom) as sir or master; again, that's not something for me. However... for some people it is an honest intent of courtesy, and it should be recognised as such (especially when contemplating the potential minefield of asking them not to!). For me, courtesy and manners stems from respect. Treat someone with the respect they deserve and give them a chance to reciprocate (I admit to having a pretty short fuse when it comes to discourtesy!).

Whatever your actual words are, most people are (hopefully!) smart and empathic enough to realise the genuine intent if you're honest and civil. If someone you've just met does demand a particular mode of speed or address... then one might consider starting a conversation elsewhere..!

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/28/2008 10:13:12 AM

OnlyHisLovebug

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Hi there...

Actually, I disagree vehemently, we are not in different 'classes'.  While I won't say we are 'equals', since I know nothing about you, I will say that I find very few that are my equal. Not being a priss, just that it would imply that we have the same capabilities, strengths and weaknesses. Very few things in life are 'equal'...

You said "Yes we are in different classes and all of our own choosing so lets be honest about it okay?"  I'm assuming that means that you feel you have chosen to be a Dom/Top or whatever label you have assigned yourself? I have done no such thing. I am just who I am, who I am comfortable being, and in a relationship where I can thrive being that person. While I consider myself submissive, and am quite proud of it, it's not something I chose- it's just part of my nature.

Yes, I try to use manners, and treat people as I'd like to be treated- but, someone's orientation in no way garners respect from me. The individual gains my respect, not whether they are dom, sub, switch, gay, straight- what does any of that matter when it comes to manners? Especially if I'm not in a power exchange relationship with the person?

< Message edited by OnlyHisLovebug -- 7/28/2008 10:21:12 AM >

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/28/2008 11:05:03 AM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

quote:

ORIGINAL: Viridana

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

My mind is like a sewer and my mouth is like a Holy shrine. I don't know what class that puts me in.

A holy sewer?

I've 'talked to God down the porcelain telephone'...but I'm guessing that's not the same as a holy sewer...