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Proper Manners - 7/26/2008 7:39:43 PM   
sailorfrank


Posts: 127
Joined: 6/18/2008
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    Hello all!  New to Collar Me but not new to the lifestyle. But after a break of several years to refresh.  I need to know what manners are left?   Dont want to step on any toes here but being a Dom... can if you like it!

  I notice mostly that someSubs can be demanding.  And other Doms/Mistress`s seem quite young as well.  I think there should still be proper ways to address others both up and down.

   So thanks for any help you can give this older Dom. Older yes but not senile!
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RE: Proper Manners - 7/26/2008 7:46:17 PM   
katie978


Posts: 352
Joined: 7/21/2007
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   In the forums here, there's no hard and fast rules. Some people use "slashy speak", using words like, "Hello A/all" to denote respect for the doms with the capitilization and the subs with lowercase. However, that wears pretty thin during extended postings. My best advice is to try and keep the snark down the a minimum, and try and remember that there are real people on the end of these little boxes (something I need to keep in mind, it's possible you aren't as snarky as me).

As for the demanding, well, you get all types of people. Some dominants like smart-ass submissives...some submissives are just whiny brats.

As for the young people, well...I think they're ruining the lifestyle. Young whippersnappers shouldn't be allowed on here...don't people know you can't be kinky until you're at least 40?! Oh wait...I'm only 22. Some young people are mature beyond their years, just like there are those older who are immature well before their years. I suggest you base your judgement on people on their characters rather than their ages.

Good luck and welcome!

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/26/2008 7:47:11 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sailorfrank
I think there should still be proper ways to address others both up and down.


I address those I respect respectfully.  I address those I don't respect politely.  Up and down?  I guess that depends on whether I'm on my knees or on my toes.

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/26/2008 7:47:39 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
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Some people have manners, and some people don't.  We're all equal human beings until people make a connection and decide otherwise.  Some submissives behave submissively to all dominants; others do not.  (I'm one of those who does not).  There is no age limit one needs to reach to become a dominant or a submissive.  What's in one's head and heart is what is important.  You'll find all kinds of folks on here with all sorts of different philosophies.  Some you'll like, some you won't, but overall it's a cool group of people.

Welcome to CollarMe!

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/26/2008 7:50:57 PM   
SimplyMichael


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quote:

"what manners are left"


Probably more than you arrived with would be my guess.

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/26/2008 8:26:44 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
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Same manners you learned growing up should work just fine- although I have to agree that you first post here leaves something less than a sweet taste in my mouth so perhaps you need a bit of a brush up.

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/26/2008 8:35:28 PM   
RedMagic1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sailorfrank
I notice mostly that someSubs can be demanding. 

Um, does this translate to, "They won't call me 'Sir' upon first contact"?  Cuz that's what's pinging my radar.


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RE: Proper Manners - 7/26/2008 8:41:26 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
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Its the same as anywhere else.
Lead with your best foot
Play well with others (in all its potential glorious meanings)
treat others as you would like to be treated
and remember
we are all humans first, then whatever we sexually identify as.

Just my thoughts.
Its worked well enough for me over the years.

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/26/2008 8:50:47 PM   
Missokyst


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You say subs like it is some other catagory of animal.  Submissives are human and behave in the same way any other human might.  They will either bend over and kiss your ass with a SIR, or they will believe (as I do), that I am not submissive to any anonymous person that puts a label on their forehead.
Yes there are a lot of younger people here, dom and sub, and a lot of them have more sense than some of the people my age who get into this stuff late in life and still play off the fantasy.
My issues with the "proper" way to address people up and down, is that unless we know who you are personally, we have no way of knowing you are dominant, submissive, or a talented squirrel.  People are just people, and labels are just labels until you look in the can. 
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: sailorfrank
I notice mostly that someSubs can be demanding.  And other Doms/Mistress`s seem quite young as well.  I think there should still be proper ways to address others both up and down.

  So thanks for any help you can give this older Dom. Older yes but not senile!

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/26/2008 9:07:47 PM   
Alumbrado


Posts: 5560
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Who is this rude kid anyway? 

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/26/2008 9:15:43 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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I'm submissive but not your submissive. Which means I expect the same common courtesy towards me that you would hope to get for yourself. Without it, you get put on ignore.

I have no special respect for other dominants, in fact, I'm not supposed to. It's something kept for him, because he merits it.

Regular manners go a long way here. And everywhere.

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/26/2008 10:59:18 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
Ah yes, manners. The old dom and sub routine. Gotcha.

Oh yes. Why ever not? I realised some time ago that I was on to a load of old bull and trolloped the idea of enlightenment through weedy old strumpets whacking the shit out of my arse in sight of 'the higher plane'.

There's much more fun having a sweaty old trollop squeezing my cheeks between her cheeks whilst she sings 'Rawhide' lest we be thinking of reaching akin the next dimension or parallel universe through sadism. It might have worked for the Indian tribes but I'm a white European with a checkered history of a people renowned for using any excuse of getting some jiggy jiggy in.

Indeed, there are stories abound of those with beloved Masters/Mistresses and supermarket or retail management taking you to another dimension - actually the next housing estate, after he returns home from a day at the office, market, chicken factory, blowing your mind and your nuptuals in the privacy of your bedroom with little more equipment than his cardboard flogger and rolled up newspaper, while you float into nether space feeling all juiced up and nary an earthly feeling between your legs that no other sub, pwincess, or even checkout girl has ever had an inkling before in their pretty young life.

"You're doing it all wrong," they tell me," you play with the wrong people, you don't concentrate, and don't ever eat baked beans before you play with anyone." I get such advice time after time. "My Dom takes me to heaven and hell in good time before the commercial break," they simper. "My Dom's wonderful.." "My Dom's the dog's bollocks.." After attending a small impromptu play party in North London this week I have to agree that some of them smell like the dog's bollocks at least, but let this not detract you from my latest attempt at literary garbage with relation to the gurls and their views of subbyspace.

What happened is Wurzel Gummidge slipped a couple of Beechams Lemsips into your ginger beer and rogered his todger on your botty whilst you dream of Adonis sweeping you up to the heavens on a whippy chariot of goodness, heaven help you if you dare open your eyes and see old Herbert drinking his second bottle of wine (or working his way through a six pack) watching sports and passively whacking you with a slipper in between searching for belly button fluff and scratching his todger.

Time and time again we see the pretty, young, well-dressed, usually freshly graduated subettes sat next to someone who looks as if they obtained their wardrobe from a rubbish skip, complete with complimentary odours, the seven o'clock shadow and a couple of days' groceries stuck between the teeth.

'Hello' I say..

'Harrrrryaaaaahhhhh' they breathe back, leaving me looking at the trait of heat distortion from their yaps, like the after burn of a jet aircraft. (It really buggers up my make up).

'How's it going?' I continue.

'Ahhhh zzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzz sorry nodded off there. You see I've been up half the night teaching that buxom young wench over there how to suck like an Electrolux.'

'But hang on, I thought you were married?' I interject.

'Yeah right. She's over there too, spent the other half of the night teaching me how to suck like an Electrolux.'

'So she doesn't mind you having another subbie half her age?'

'Nahh! You see, besides like, the house is in my name, and if she gives me any shit I'll just toss her out and move another slapper in. I got this ad up at the local college you see. Free room and board to any half decent bint. I'm offering help with all the oral examinations and will cover the costs of accommodation.'

It gives me a cold feeling to recall the day 'Charlotte' returns home on holidays with Herbert in tow, twice her age, retired from work at age 50 on health grounds (bone idleness) and carrying a 'play bag'.

'Ohh Mrs Charlotte, it's such a pleasure to meet you at last, your young un' has told me so much about you, usually whilst I got her tied upside down on the balcony and I'm buggering her with a spatula. Fnarr! Fnarr! Oh by the way, do you fancy a spot of rope bondage after dinner? I'm really very good, some would even call me a 'Master' even.'

Poor Charlotte, having to call Wurzel 'Sir/Lord/Master/My One and Only Shining Light in This World of Misery' sat across from her parents and having to serve his food whilst kneeling.

'How's college dear?' croaks Mrs Charlotte.

'Soak Hay Mawm!' Charlotte mumbles through the ball gag Wurzel insisted she wear during dinner to show the love and bonding sub and Master share.

'Try not to dribble so much on your plate dear.'

'Sorry Mum. It's been a problem ever since I got my tongue pierced for my oral examinations. You see Master's a bit limp and needs as much stimulation available. By the way if you hear me screaming at night please ignore me. It's just a habit I have developed in getting through my nuptuals with Wurzel. I'll have soon finished my course and can return to the fold, though I'm probably never going to be the same ever again and besides I now have this penchant for middle-aged scruffy looking uneducated men suffering from ringworm and expert at flaking high incomes from the welfare state.'

'Oh but please don't worry yourself Mum. I will still have an education and a degree even though I have no desire to use it. Instead I will spend my days tied to the bed of my Master while he sleeps off his hangovers and limply tries to do me blindly in any hole that's available including the 'betcha they've learned their bloody lesson' house pets who won't come near our bed not for love or Whiskas.'

Those were the days.

All characters are fictitious and any resemblance to anyone whether real, twue, wannabe or fake is actually pretty much coincidental.

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/27/2008 3:17:21 AM   
Allondra


Posts: 68
Joined: 7/12/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sailorfrank

I notice mostly that someSubs can be demanding.  And other Doms/Mistress`s seem quite young as well.  I think there should still be proper ways to address others both up and down.



Commonly accepted manners aside, is there some particular way you feel you should address demanding submissives or young dominants?  Just wondering why you singled these two types out for (perhaps) special treatment.

BTW, what is that you're holding in your photo?  I assume it's some sort of flogger, but it reads visually as a skunk on a stick. 

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/27/2008 4:59:04 AM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline
I am assuming you are referring to being addressed  as "Sir" from initial contact ...expecting subs to use uppercase when referring to Doms,  lower case when referring to themselves... that they should not state what they need and wants from a relationship but sit back waiting on your needs ....

Until a sub has agreed to a relationship with you they are not your sub and until that time they are equal in status to you...inorder to have a D/s relationship negotiating the terms of the relationship needs to take place prior, so that the relationship will be consentual ....so what you are referring to as demanding ..maybe their way of informing you of their needs in a relationship, so you know what areas are consentual and what isn't  as part of the negotiations.  Most females here are pretty intelligent they are not going to bow and scrape to everyone that calls themselves a dom... they are selective in choosing who they want to submit to ...a good thing if you don't want a sub that is going drop to her knees for every man that says/emails "Drop to your knees ..bitch"

If  part of the complaint is that subs are not responding to your inquiries...it is a huge communitity,  subfems and Dommes recieve a huge number of emailings   sometimes daily..they may have filters on their emails turned on to accepts mailings from those that fits their preferences such as age range, sex, status etc  so emails not fitting their preferences would go to their bulk mail unseen,  some cause of the numbers of emails they recieve choose only to respond to the senders of interest to them , so if you don't get a response ...consider it a "no thank you , I am not interested"




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RE: Proper Manners - 7/27/2008 5:19:24 AM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sailorfrank

  Dont want to step on any toes here but being a Dom... can if you like it!



Step on my toes and all my manners go flying out the friggin' window.  


Guess that wasn't a very "mannerly" response, was it? 

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/27/2008 5:21:50 AM   
Lumus


Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
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Protocol is what you make of it.  This particular society has its own house rules; you learn them as you go.  Welcome to the site, have fun.   Assuming you stay around after some of the responses thrown at you...

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I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/27/2008 5:25:59 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto



Step on my toes and all my manners go flying out the friggin' window.  





don't ever dance with my hubby...


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RE: Proper Manners - 7/27/2008 5:30:44 AM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
Lmfao Stella!

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/27/2008 6:21:28 AM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
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*wild applause for stella!!!*

kitten

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RE: Proper Manners - 7/27/2008 7:18:21 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sailorfrank

   Hello all!  New to Collar Me but not new to the lifestyle. But after a break of several years to refresh.  I need to know what manners are left?   Dont want to step on any toes here but being a Dom... can if you like it!

I notice mostly that someSubs can be demanding.  And other Doms/Mistress`s seem quite young as well.  I think there should still be proper ways to address others both up and down.

  So thanks for any help you can give this older Dom. Older yes but not senile!

i think this is at least the fourth time i've said this.......
i'm not in a dynamic to a forum.....quote me ok.



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