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RE: That lightbulb moment - 6/29/2008 7:56:13 PM   
TheGaggingWh0re


Posts: 222
Joined: 1/19/2006
Status: offline 		This is going to sound funny, but when I was very little and playing with my barbies like they were Ken's pain-slaves, I thought everyone ELSE was weird for not wanting to play the games I did. As I grew up I discovered that my desires were a bit different than my mom's chanting of "find a man who will treat you good, get married, have children, and work as a receptionist!". But I can be hard-headed and while I knew I wasn't like the majority of my peers, I also knew I wasn't abnormal to a fault. Thank goodness for my Owner! <3

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: That lightbulb moment - 6/29/2008 8:00:36 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TysGalilah

 When I turned 40 and said "fuckitall" 
Tired of trying to be what everyone else thinks I should be like...I am going feel what i feel, express what I think and become on the outside what and who I feel  I am inside.  I happen to like me and for those that cannot accept that, there's the door.
 
40 was quite the decade..  


I have to agree 40 was a big turning point, and every year I live,
I worry less and less what others think.
Damn it's good to be me.


_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to TysGalilah)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: That lightbulb moment - 6/29/2008 8:21:27 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Never.
 
I've always had the "This is fun-fuck off world" attitude towards kink.

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: That lightbulb moment - 6/29/2008 11:38:52 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		A major moment for me was attending a SM Odyssey party in San Jose, walking into a huge room filled with St.Andrews crosses and other play stations and all the kinky people.  Another would be the first visit to Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: That lightbulb moment - 6/29/2008 11:53:03 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		Three years ago.  I was in a vanilla chat room -- with way more scening than any D/s room I've ever known to tolerate -- and a man took me to PM and told me he was a 'dominant'.
 
Nosey and intrigued, I googled myself onto castlerealm and about 10 minutes later, all the self-doubt and self-criticism just stopped. Immediately.  I wasn't flawed; I was submissive...and there were men who desired such women!
 
I'd like to thank that man someday.
 
candystripper

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: That lightbulb moment - 6/30/2008 1:06:18 AM   
WarriorsGirl


Posts: 20
Joined: 3/22/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheGaggingWh0re

This is going to sound funny, but when I was very little and playing with my barbies like they were Ken's pain-slaves, I thought everyone ELSE was weird for not wanting to play the games I did.


I used to play "Strip Gong Show" with my Barbies.  The dolls would strip naked and get on stage and either be applauded or "gonged" with their performance.  That's just one example from my childhood.  Let's just say that my mind knew what "humiliation" was long before I even knew the word.

And yet....I didn't feel weird. What felt weird was as I got older, realizing that all of my sexual thoughts were of submission and related delicious things, and that I wasn't doing anything to make it a reality.  It felt wrong to deny myself what I spent so much time wanting.  That's what felt weird.  I can't say I ever felt that I was abnormal for my desires.  I just didn't consciously realize it was all such a part of me until I was older and that, I have to say, was part of my own general and gradual acceptance of self.

(in reply to TheGaggingWh0re)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: That lightbulb moment - 6/30/2008 3:30:37 AM   
TysGalilah


Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I did this before I knew what this was.  I thought everyone did this stuff.  Certainly any man I dated was kinked and knew when to take charge.  It was surprising to me when I got back out in the dating world around the same time I found AOL chats and I discovered that what we do it considered perversion.  That was back when the rooms were still new and the bdsm rooms were a lot of role play.  Role play?  Holey shit, that stuff was normal sex, wasn't it?  That's when I found out I was sick.  I think I backed out of chats for a year after that.  And I opted not to date even though that was my plan.  I had to look at myself through other peoples eyes and it was not good. 
And then I had occasion to meet an old lover for a week.  We jumped back into the bondage, spanking, control, pleasure and pain.. and I was in balance again.
That felt great!
When I tried online chats again AOL had changed a bit.  Role play rooms were shoved aside in favor or real chat.  It seemed like there were people doing this and it was ok.
By that time I was ok with who I am (thanks to Steve), and it was very nice chatting among people who kidded about being sick.. but they enjoyed themselves and that is what mattered.
~mywsh2ples, persephone, actiondotandei `et al,
Kyst


gigglin...   I remember those days in aol chat (roleplay)....funny to think back to it, glad they changed to more discussion and chat...
<<<   m0vedbyu   : )  incase anyone remembers her....Greedy does ... ....   I remember Mywsh/andei

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galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: That lightbulb moment - 6/30/2008 6:12:38 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Moved! man its been a long time!  I sometimes still pop into aol for chat.  We ought to make it a night sometime.
Andei

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to TysGalilah)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: That lightbulb moment - 6/30/2008 8:19:32 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		god.. old home week ;)

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: That lightbulb moment - 6/30/2008 8:21:25 AM   
naturalsin


Posts: 92
Joined: 6/24/2008
Status: offline 		i think i just had my lightbulb moment.  holy crap...i DID!

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sinful

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: That lightbulb moment - 6/30/2008 8:23:43 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		lol

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to naturalsin)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: That lightbulb moment - 6/30/2008 8:37:27 AM   
naturalsin


Posts: 92
Joined: 6/24/2008
Status: offline 		i blame miss GT for the disgusting typo in the last message i sent to her. OMG im so embarrassed. sorry!!! i do have serious issues with my keyboard right now.

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sinful

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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: That lightbulb moment - 6/30/2008 8:39:30 AM   
hejira92


Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

quote:

ORIGINAL: TysGalilah

 When I turned 40 and said "fuckitall" 
Tired of trying to be what everyone else thinks I should be like...I am going feel what i feel, express what I think and become on the outside what and who I feel  I am inside.  I happen to like me and for those that cannot accept that, there's the door.
 
40 was quite the decade..  


I have to agree 40 was a big turning point, and every year I live,
I worry less and less what others think.
Damn it's good to be me.



I was first introduced to all this shortly before my 41st birthday. My Mom always said "Life begins at 40."
 
When I say 'all this', I mean SM and D/s. I was always bi and willing to experiment (loved being restrained). My AHA came in extension to all this because I had always felt weird and unfeminine in the healthy size of my libido. I'd been told countless times that sexually, I'm more like a man (think about it all the time, consider it physically rather than emotionally, the more the better).
 
In finding BDSM, I found I wasn't "sick" or abnormal in my desires for more adventurous and varied sex, nor was I weird for just wanting more sex.

_____________________________

Property of Cuffkinks

Member:
The Pimpettes
MoGa's IN-Crowd

"You're the gleam in my eye, the smile on my face and the bulge in my pants" - Cuffkinks

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: That light bulb moment - 6/30/2008 8:57:09 AM   
Bella1965


Posts: 285
Joined: 12/12/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		G'morning all:


(Fast Reply)

Unlike many, I never had realization hit me between the eyes and all the understanding gel upon that moment. I've always been riding the razor's edge of what society deems acceptable. As I grew up, boyfriends would always look askance at me, wondering why I enjoyed pulling their hair, biting their neck, slapping their ass. I will say that I discovered the tools of the trade sometime in my early twenties. Discovering quality toys though, that came about 10 - 12 years ago. To think that craftsmen could earn a living, to churn out toys of such exquisite design and singular beauty? Ah, I nearly creamed myself. The sadist within chuckled cruelly and salivated with glee. Ok, I think I need a towel right now...


Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others...





Bella

_____________________________

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting..."Wow! What a ride!

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: That lightbulb moment - 6/30/2008 3:19:43 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Somewhere between the Lotus Sutra and the writings of the Marquee De Sade I found my niche.

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I give good thread.

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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: That lightbulb moment - 6/30/2008 3:37:05 PM   
TysGalilah


Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Moved! man its been a long time!  I sometimes still pop into aol for chat.  We ought to make it a night sometime.
Andei

 
yep.....sure : ) I'm game
   for Andei and Greedy

_____________________________

galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: That lightbulb moment - 6/30/2008 3:40:21 PM   
TysGalilah


Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

quote:

ORIGINAL: TysGalilah

 When I turned 40 and said "fuckitall" 
Tired of trying to be what everyone else thinks I should be like...I am going feel what i feel, express what I think and become on the outside what and who I feel  I am inside.  I happen to like me and for those that cannot accept that, there's the door.
 
40 was quite the decade..  


I have to agree 40 was a big turning point, and every year I live,
I worry less and less what others think.
Damn it's good to be me.



I was first introduced to all this shortly before my 41st birthday. My Mom always said "Life begins at 40."
 
When I say 'all this', I mean SM and D/s. I was always bi and willing to experiment (loved being restrained). My AHA came in extension to all this because I had always felt weird and unfeminine in the healthy size of my libido. I'd been told countless times that sexually, I'm more like a man (think about it all the time, consider it physically rather than emotionally, the more the better).
 
In finding BDSM, I found I wasn't "sick" or abnormal in my desires for more adventurous and varied sex, nor was I weird for just wanting more sex.

 
I do understand that Hejira  : )
smiles> to Hejira and MzMia
 
Cyndi

_____________________________

galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to hejira92)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: That lightbulb moment - 6/30/2008 4:28:40 PM   
ELUSIVE1


Posts: 536
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline
my 'lightbulb' moment was when I was 19,had my first erotic spanking by a college prof--I knew I would never look back


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"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality"

*Poe
http://alt.com/blog/ELUSIVE1NC
http://users.adultspace.com/ELUSIVE1NC/


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 58
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