question

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

question

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> question

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

question - 6/28/2008 9:13:17 PM

kitty44

Posts: 2
Joined: 6/10/2008
Status: offline

I was reading and few profiles on here and i came across people stating that they have no limits and looking for the same in a sub or slave .
my question is this everyone has some line they wont cross so how can anyone say they dont have any limits
can someone help me on that

thank you for your help
kitty

Post #: 1

RE: question - 6/28/2008 9:15:55 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitty44
I was reading and few profiles on here and i came across people stating that they have no limits and looking for the same in a sub or slave .
my question is this everyone has some line they wont cross so how can anyone say they dont have any limits
can someone help me on that

thank you for your help
kitty

Well usually it's because they don't really understand the scope of "no limits." Most kinky people when they get into the scene think it's going to be exactly like what their fantasies have always been and it takes them awhile to figure out that it tends to be a lot more varied than that.

Also, many want to sound ultra cool and hip, and in the scene having fewer limits gives the appearance of being cooler.

And many of them simply have no idea how to form a solid stable relationship and are just using buzz words and hot talk to attract some honeybees.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to kitty44)

Post #: 2

RE: question - 6/28/2008 9:24:33 PM

underworld026

Posts: 25
Joined: 5/17/2008
Status: offline

Hehe, I was just going to say they're idiots.

_____________________________

(\/)
(O.o)
(> < )O
This is BUNNY!
Copy and paste this in your siggy.
& Help him Reach
World Domination.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 3

RE: question - 6/28/2008 9:33:27 PM

wwwkevinww

Posts: 276
Joined: 7/15/2004
Status: offline

Its theoretically possible to edge-play so much you have no limits. Its not healthy to edge-play too much imho, and people stating they have no limits are pretty clueless.....

usually its not just submissives who have limits, its doms also. Alot of doms won't do certain things, because its either just not exciting to them or they find it repulsive....

If you get a dom without limits and a slave without limits together, usually its not going to end pretty....

Sadly, there are people out there who don't have limits, and usually they aren't their own guardians because they have shown they just don't care about themselves enough......

(in reply to underworld026)

Post #: 4

RE: question - 6/28/2008 9:34:40 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

This is an age old question with absalutly no answer

MS

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to wwwkevinww)

Post #: 5

RE: question - 6/28/2008 9:41:25 PM

spanklette

Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wwwkevinww

Its theoretically possible to edge-play so much you have no limits. Its not healthy to edge-play too much imho, and people stating they have no limits are pretty clueless.....

usually its not just submissives who have limits, its doms also. Alot of doms won't do certain things, because its either just not exciting to them or they find it repulsive....

If you get a dom without limits and a slave without limits together, usually its not going to end pretty....

Sadly, there are people out there who don't have limits, and usually they aren't their own guardians because they have shown they just don't care about themselves enough......

How much edge play is too much? My edgeplay may not be your edgeplay, etc. I, for one, think it would be more unhealthy for me not to engage in edgeplay. I would become disatisfied and eventually find the door, I'm sure. I don't consider myself unhealthy, merely satisfied.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to wwwkevinww)

Post #: 6

RE: question - 6/28/2008 9:45:41 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

agrees with LA, and less likely but possible they also could be covertly advertising they are into scat and animals but are afraid to say that out right.

maybe let them know that are inadvertently raising a giant red flag that they are neophytes, and they might appreciate knowing that, especially if it was done nicely....we were all new once....right? .....then send them to a local munch or here in the forums....

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 7

RE: question - 6/28/2008 9:46:21 PM

WhatUrSeeking

Posts: 49
Joined: 6/28/2008
Status: offline

Well usually it's because they don't really understand the scope of "no limits." Most kinky people when they get into the scene think it's going to be exactly like what their fantasies have always been and it takes them awhile to figure out that it tends to be a lot more varied than that.

Also, many want to sound ultra cool and hip, and in the scene having fewer limits gives the appearance of being cooler.

I think you hit the nail on the head. I read this a lot with newbie submissives saying they have "no limits." Then they make a generic statement about being used, broken, forced to submit etc. Sometimes I think I should just take them up on this "no limits," throw a gag in their mouth, and then help them realize they did have some limits and I just trampled all over those limits. In reality I just ask them about limits even though they claim not to have any. I want true consent and even desire from my submissives. It is dangerous and stupid for subies to post stuff like "I have no limits" when they don't know what they speak of.

The hardcore experienced submissive tends to be more explicit about the almost no limits that they have, and then they usually list a limit or two. These are the ones that include desires for watersports, beastiality, scat, scarification, etc.. Generally I find this kind of no limits to be more of a turn-off than anything. I don't want a submissive that truly has no limits. The newbie just thinks it will attract more people.

As for a Dominant that posts something like this it just shows their lack of experience. Dominants also have limits.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 8

RE: question - 6/28/2008 10:18:18 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitty44
everyone has some line they wont cross so how can anyone say they dont have any limits can someone help me on that

::partial repost::

These are the major two arguments you will hear on the subjects of limits.

If you don't have any limits, you are mentally ill or a liar.

If you do have limits you are fake.

No matter which way you swing you lose. As the wise Joshua said in War Games, the only way not to lose is not to play so I'm going to give you a little trick right now which should stave off either being thought of as mentally ill or fake.

It's a matter of circumstance.

In other words, there may very well be things to which I will never consent but which may, by a matter of circumstance, be forced upon me.

There may very well be things that I will only consent to do with someone I respect or care about. It's a matter of circumstance.

There may be things that I will only consent to do with someone who owns me or who I own. Again, it's a matter of circumstance.

MMV

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to kitty44)

Post #: 9

RE: question - 6/28/2008 11:07:23 PM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

Sometimes those that have no limits are so new to the lifestyle that they haven't been faced with something that they would really prefer not to do. For instance, at a munch tonight I sat next to a man that talked to me about how he trained dogs to be sexual partners. I consider myself to have few limits, but if I was told to participate in a sexual act with a dog I would feel that I needed to draw a line. Some might draw lines at scat, or cross dressing, or any other number of things. Others have a truly "try anything once" attitude and can take it all. However, I have personally never met anyone that had absolutely no limits at all. They may be out there but I'd say they are rare.

_____________________________

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 10

RE: question - 6/28/2008 11:11:15 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

I hard limit having to listen to small children screeching.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 11

RE: question - 6/28/2008 11:14:35 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitty44

I was reading and few profiles on here and i came across people stating that they have no limits and looking for the same in a sub or slave .
my question is this everyone has some line they wont cross so how can anyone say they dont have any limits
can someone help me on that

thank you for your help
kitty

Hi kitty; you are correct; the idea of 'no limits' doesn't really fly in real life. Everyone has things they won't do.

There are lots of good threads on the subject you can find by using the 'search' function at the upper right hand corner of the message board page.

I think 'no limits' is just CollarMe code for 'extreme'. It's not a term I've seen used anywhere else; it seems like a CM idiosyncrasity.

I wouldn't worry too much about it; if you yourself are not a 'true slave with no limits', then when contacted by a Dom seeking that sort of dynamic it's probably best to just say no thank you.

Best wishes,

candystripper

(in reply to kitty44)

Post #: 12

RE: question - 6/28/2008 11:15:15 PM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

Some of them probably just don't know what their limits are, and since the limits aren't solidly defined in their minds, they perceive it as not having limits.

For the OP: I think you'd attract more attention if you used a title that actually gave a clue about the topic, rather than titling the topic as "question".

(in reply to kitty44)

Post #: 13

RE: question - 6/28/2008 11:24:22 PM

Evility

Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline

To me a no limits situation is not necessarily some free for all. It's simply a dynamic where the dominant makes the decisions regarding limits instead of the submissive. That is the way we operate and we both really like it that way. She knows I will not kill, maim or dismember her and enjoys turning over that control. It's really not that outlandish of a concept. This topic usually draws all the judgmental idiots out of the woodwork and this thread appears to be no different.

(in reply to kitty44)

Post #: 14

RE: question - 6/28/2008 11:47:21 PM

Micromanager

Posts: 8
Joined: 6/7/2007
Status: offline

I usually translate 'I have no limits' to mean 'I'm masturbating as I type this one-handed', and move on.

If a woman tells me she wishes to serve me, and has 'no limits' I generally reply 'O.K. go and rob a bank, and bring me the money.' Robbing a bank must take a LOT of planning. I still haven't heard back from them.

(in reply to Evility)

Post #: 15

RE: question - 6/29/2008 12:11:50 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Evility

To me a no limits situation is not necessarily some free for all. It's simply a dynamic where the dominant makes the decisions regarding limits instead of the submissive. That is the way we operate and we both really like it that way. She knows I will not kill, maim or dismember her and enjoys turning over that control. It's really not that outlandish of a concept. This topic usually draws all the judgmental idiots out of the woodwork and this thread appears to be no different.

Evility, I got to say, the 'judgmental idiots' you refer to seem, from your prior posts, to include anyone who disagrees with you or appears to have a different POV.

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 6/29/2008 12:12:37 AM >

(in reply to Evility)

Post #: 16

RE: question - 6/29/2008 4:32:16 AM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

quote:

To me a no limits situation is not necessarily some free for all. It's simply a dynamic where the dominant makes the decisions regarding limits instead of the submissive.

A no limits situation/dynamics is not the same as having no limits.

There is a Dom visiting me next week and I have agreed to a no limits dynamics with him...,he knows my experience level ...he knows what are my hard limits are, what it means is I trust him enough to turn over authority to him based on his experience and knowledge as well as his respect/care for me... I will submit to whatever he asks of me to the intensity he feels I can handle trusting and knowing he would not do anything to harm me physically or metally..... as Eviility stated it is not a free for all...he knows if he takes things beyond what I can handle ..my trust in him would be shattered and the relationship would be over...he is simply asking for the authority to guide how things will be played out for the time of his stay

So the context of how the term "no limits" is used is important.

I will admit I once had a problem getting my head around those that said they had no limits within their relationships...it took me while to understand what they were saying and I had to get to know this particular Dom well enough to trust him to be able to make that kind of agreement

< Message edited by Maya2001 -- 6/29/2008 4:39:46 AM >

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to Evility)

Post #: 17

RE: question - 6/29/2008 4:43:51 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

My girl can honestly say she has no limits.... that doesn't mean there are no limits within the relationship, *I* have limits, she trusts in My limits to keep her safe, she gave up the right to set her Own limits when she became My property... but she didn't do that without feeling (and it continues because that feeling was accurate) that she could trust Me to keep her safe.

When I read a girls profile saying she has no limits, I assume she means the same, that she seeks someone she trusts in that manner so that the notion of her needing limits is negated, His are enough.

I would not class Myself as a "no limits Master", I have limits... someone coming to Me as slave, those limits will be enough... if she doesn't trust Me enough for that then she doesn't trust Me enough to be submitting to Me yet anyhow!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to kitty44)

Post #: 18

RE: question - 6/29/2008 4:57:51 AM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline

quote:

My girl can honestly say she has no limits.... that doesn't mean there are no limits within the relationship, *I* have limits, she trusts in My limits to keep her safe, she gave up the right to set her Own limits when she became My property... but she didn't do that without feeling (and it continues because that feeling was accurate) that she could trust Me to keep her safe.

When I read a girls profile saying she has no limits, I assume she means the same, that she seeks someone she trusts in that manner so that the notion of her needing limits is negated, His are enough.

I would not class Myself as a "no limits Master", I have limits... someone coming to Me as slave, those limits will be enough... if she doesn't trust Me enough for that then she doesn't trust Me enough to be submitting to Me yet anyhow!

Thats about the clearest explanation I've come accross of this idea within an M/s relationship.

< Message edited by gypsygrl -- 6/29/2008 4:59:51 AM >

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 19

RE: question - 6/29/2008 5:51:45 AM

MasterHermes

Posts: 136
Joined: 5/23/2008
Status: offline

No limits means : Adjust your limits by my limits.

If there was no conflict between your and your masters limits , then there wouldnt be any limits for him.

Enjoy it
Hermes

(in reply to gypsygrl)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> question

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094