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ORIGINAL: Racquelle

When people say "I am looking for a dominate woman" or "dominate man", I tend to think they are typing the word as they have heard it said, not realizing that what they heard was actually "dominant".  "nant" is often mispronounced or misheard as "nate" - not just with this word, but elsewhere.  But to tell me "dominator" is a gender specific word is to deny it's actual neuter status.  For some reason in the world of kink many people have felt a strong need to reinforce societal paradigms by insisting such terms as dominator and dom are male specific - because, well, how could they possibly apply to the weaker female gender?  Therefore, we must give those silly females who think they are dominant a stupid feminized term lest someone might confuse one of them for someone who is actually dominant.  Right?  Give me a break.  No one I play with or talk to has ever used such an awkward term as dominator, and I have never heard dominatrix used to refer to anyone but a pro.  If you are going to lecture us all on the correct usage of terms, you might want to know the correct usage first.

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Yep - dominatrix - the pay to play dom women took this term over to pretty much mean they want to be paid to play, mostly because there are a ton of more guys being submissive than women being dom.  Alot of women like this because instead of having sex and being a whore, they get to smack some behind and still get paid...

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ORIGINAL: wwwkevinww

Yep - dominatrix - the pay to play dom women took this term over to pretty much mean they want to be paid to play, mostly because there are a ton of more guys being submissive than women being dom.  Alot of women like this because instead of having sex and being a whore, they get to smack some behind and still get paid...

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If you say dominator, your almost assuradly talking about a dude dominating or a very butch female Dom.......You know those women who want to be guys.......and dress like it......

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Almost no one uses the term dominator because its kind of lame, Dom works, but women don't even want that, they want their own terminology, so they added Domme.....

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stop acting like a woman and worrying so much about terminology,

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if you really cared, you should go buy a book like screw the roses give me the thorns and then mark up the book for being wrong.......I swear, there was a thread here a week ago about newbies who care about terminology......threads we get use  to.....;0

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ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress  yes we all got together and had a meeting, that you were not invited to....and you are not going to be invited until you stop being a hater.

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ORIGINAL: wwwkevinww

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Almost no one uses the term dominator because its kind of lame, Dom works, but women don't even want that, they want their own terminology, so they added Domme.....

Historically, the feminization of neuter terms has never been at the behest of females.  It has almost always been as a result of women coming into a male-dominated role, and those who were less-than-accepting of it, creating a diminuitive term.  It is a cultural and sociological issue, as well as political.  The female version of something need not always be denegrated or discounted by creating a dminiuitive term to describe it.

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if you really cared, you should go buy a book like screw the roses give me the thorns and then mark up the book for being wrong.......I swear, there was a thread here a week ago about newbies who care about terminology......threads we get use  to.....;0

  Most of my personal concern for terminology is from a linguistic perspective.  And that someone wrote a book does not give them particularly more authority to speak on a topic than someone else with experience in same.  I have published articles and narratives as well.  For some, mastering the vernacular of a new sub-group is part of the process of becoming a part of the group.  That isn't just in this realm - we see it throughout human history.

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ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

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Yep - dominatrix - the pay to play dom women took this term over to pretty much mean they want to be paid to play, mostly because there are a ton of more guys being submissive than women being dom.  Alot of women like this because instead of having sex and being a whore, they get to smack some behind and still get paid...

on behalf of all Dominant women both professional and not, i want to thank you for edgumacating the public at large of  the inner workings of our evil empire....

yes we all got together and had a meeting, that you were not invited to....and you are not going to be invited until you stop being a hater.

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So let me get this right little missy, your trying to get into an argument with a guy who is smarter, bigger, and more trained than you?  ;0

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My dictionary does not list "dominator", but includes a footnote for "dominatrix" which explains that "dominatrix" is the feminine form of "dominator".

If "dominatrix" has a legitimate use within bdsm (and I am not challenging that fact) then I fail to see the argument against the use of "dominator".