RE: Sensation not sex or sensual?

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RE: Sensation not sex or sensual? - 6/14/2008 9:23:43 AM

Stusmobile

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Thank you both,

one comment pretty much summed it up for me, being "naked" within a relationship ..... that encapsulates it all, no matter who leading the way.

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RE: Sensation not sex or sensual? - 6/14/2008 6:59:35 PM

pixidustpet

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Mercnbeth....

this is the sort of thing i'm hoping for. if i'd been able to have full time with Daddy, it would have been that way, but that isnt the way our relationship would run and i knew it from the beginning and accepted it. we just didnt know we'd have so little time together (just over a year).

TheEngineer has the ability already to sink me into delighted speechlessness with a few words. that, to me, shows much promise. i'm just as submissive to him sitting at his feet while he's sharing some silly website with me as i am naked on his bed and giving way to his wishes. a word in my ear serves just as well or better than all the "discipline" that could be given at the hands of some other dominant....and we havent started living together yet.

i have high hopes though.

kitten

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RE: Sensation not sex or sensual? - 6/14/2008 7:36:41 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

Is this a "one true way"? (beth says it is!) Well, its MY true way. I'm curious if it is anyone else's? For that matter, does anyone else feel the same?

It's your way of doing things. As long as you don't start telling people they are wrong to do otherwise or regarding your way as better, than I probably wouldn't consider it a "one true way" thing. However, Valyraen and I don't agree with your way for us.

Playing is fun, it is mostly sexual to varying degrees but there are times when I'm definately not turned on, when I'm praying quietly that it will end soon. Because of this, I know that it isn't always about sex and those who say it is simply haven't experienced this - there is not sex afterwards, there is aftercare but definately not sex. It's not bad for it always to be about sex for people, but it's entirely untrue to say that it is always about sex for everyone.

That said, I really don't need a connection to play with someone. I need to feel comfortable but that just isn't hard to arrange. Valyraen doesn't have much interest in playing with others but I do and he allows it. However, my view on casual play could be because, by itself, I don't have any particular value for sex or sexuality other than it's potential to be enjoyed. When shared with someone I love, it becomes something special but it doesn't need to be that special to be enjoyed. For me, it's not hollow in the slightest when there isn't love. Sometimes I honestly didn't want to be bothered with love and attachment in my past.

However I must say Erin, I don't find punching bags to be a good stress relief. I never have. I have found punching the bag in the wrong way so that I skin my knuckles and experience pain to be a wonderful stress reliever. I have found getting beaten in sparring to be good stress relief, which is kinda like the sort of scene where we work my stress out. It may not work for you, but a scene does relieve my stress in ways that little else, if anything, can.

My two cents.

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RE: Sensation not sex or sensual? - 6/15/2008 1:06:15 AM

justblue

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all bdsm is sensual the question is "what is next"? what are the expectations

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RE: Sensation not sex or sensual? - 6/15/2008 1:56:50 AM

Vendaval

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For me there is a time and a place for casual scenes and casual sex. The variables and potential combinations are many. How satisfying an experience will be depends on the desires and expectations of the persons involved. Sometimes an intense beating is a form of stress relief or a way to focus and achieve mental clarity. Sometimes a scene is about experiencing sensations and the sub/slave/bottom really learning more about how their body responds and their range of sensory input. The setting, environment and my mood all come into play when deciding what to do at a party, dungeon or private session.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

My feeling is that a non-intimate, sensation oriented scene would be as hollow as a similarly casual sex act. Casual sex, and casual scenes fulfill a basic need, biological and physical, however; at least at this stage of my life, I'd pass the opportunity to have either.

Is this a "one true way"? (beth says it is!) Well, its MY true way. I'm curious if it is anyone else's? For that matter, does anyone else feel the same?

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