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RE: Men and Intimacy - 5/31/2008 9:15:09 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Well, although I am not male, I would like to chime in with my thoughts:
. What do you define as intimacy?
When you have relaxed enough to let someone see you at your worst moments, either appearance wise or emotional wise..
 
2. What is one of the most intimate moments you have ever had?
When my friend of 20 years accepted my hair for a wig, as my locks of love for her...
 
2. Do you believe that D/s brings you more intimacy?
I think D/s encourages more intimacy as a basic tenant. It still comes down to the dynamics of that relationship..But I also believe that vanilla brings intimacy as well,so it still comes down to the people in the relationship...maybe, it seems to be more prolific in D/s because it is often discussed ,encouraged (without judgement),and often times part of negotiation, whereas with vanilla it is simply assumed and often times misconceptualized.....Tempting

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I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to MladyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Men and Intimacy - 5/31/2008 11:13:45 PM   
SnowRanger


Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline 		Men and Intimacy:  I'm not the most articulate man in the world; so I had to formulate and reformulate my responces here. Here Goes

Defined:  A state of mutual openness and understanding.  As many of the men here have pointed out; these moments are not always verbal.

One of my most intimate moments involved myself, and nineteen other people on a running wildfire we hooked.  We had just shared several hours of hard work, frantic activity, and more than a little danger.  We found ourselves awe struck at what we'd just witnessed and somewhat astounded at our success.  Few words were spoken but many glances were exchanged.  A bit later when a tree explo....  Nope, thats a face to face story to be saved for good beer and fine friends.  ;-) 

D/s versus Vanilla:  Submission, is seems to me, requires openess.  Further, insight and understanding are vital tools for a dominant.  However,  these are certainly not exclusive to D/s....

On the whole,  I disagree with the premise of the questions.  Answering the questions was a good excersize in communication.

Mike




_____________________________

You can't help where you were born; and, you may not have much to say about where you die; but, you can and you should try to pass the days in between as a good man.
Anton Myrer Once an Eagle

(in reply to MladyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Men and Intimacy - 6/1/2008 6:55:20 AM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

...

 
1. What do you define as intimacy?
 
2. What is one of the most intimate moments you have ever had?
 
2. Do you believe that D/s brings you more intimacy?


1. The state of something being inside Tim, such as a butt plug.
2. I have never played with anyone named Tim.
2. What? 2 again? I already answered 2! No fair! I'm so confused!

(in reply to MladyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Men and Intimacy - 6/1/2008 8:32:18 AM   
aliasmoniker


Posts: 12
Joined: 5/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

( This was originally going to be for the male subs/slaves,  but I'd like to have all the men weigh in here)---we often accuse men of thinking with one head and it isnt where the brain is---and we often hear that D/s brings more intimacy than a vanilla relationship.  ( Note not opinions, not generalist statements---frames of reference only)--


 
So given that--and no references to your penis---I'd like to hear:
 
1. What do you define as intimacy?
 
2. What is one of the most intimate moments you have ever had?
 
2. Do you believe that D/s brings you more intimacy?


Saying men think with their dicks is like saying woman don't think, they just express the stages of PMS.

I define intimacy as closeness.
One of the most intimate moments I ever had was January 12th, 2004 11:13:09-11:14:09
I believe D/s brings me less intimacy. It seems to be cover for people whose problem in the first place is just being themselves.

(in reply to MladyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Men and Intimacy - 6/1/2008 11:14:51 AM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		i feel like intimacy is when you feel as your are part of the other emotionally entangled for the mutual strength of the whole
one of the most intimate moments was being held by my M'Lady and talking about my past.
i think that D/s allows for more trust and with that more intimacy

(in reply to aliasmoniker)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Men and Intimacy - 6/2/2008 7:39:13 PM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		1. What do you define as intimacy? 
Sharing emotions, drives, passions and ideas with someone as they share with me. Admitting to someone that you have needs the rest of world will not condone or understand and realizing, she does too.

2. What is one of the most intimate moments you have ever had? 
I had just ravished my lady, taking her every way, whips, crops, buildup and release. We lay together and we said at the same time "I love you ... thank you".
 
3. Do you believe that D/s brings you more intimacy?
YES


_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Men and Intimacy - 6/2/2008 8:43:26 PM   
Suleiman


Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline 		(Via fast reply)

1) My definition of intimacy is pretty close to the websters definition. I am intimate with those to whom I feel a close friendship. I prefer this sort of social and emotional bond to have already exist before having any sort of sexual relationship.

2) The most intimate moments I've ever had are not anything I am willing to share here. Not that I don't like y'all, but I consider very few of you to be my intimates.

3) I do not believe that any form of BDSM intrinsically inspires greater intimacy than any other sort of relationship. I do think that the potential dangers inherent to what we do makes most people take a little bit longer to get to know their prospective partner. It takes a lot of trust to let someone tie you up, but that trust is not in and of itself real intimacy. You can trust the rollercoaster to be safe enough to ride without ever getting to know every sway and bump on the track. Frankly, it takes a lot of trust to fall in love - which is not the same as intimacy. I know from personal experience that you can fall in love with very little real intimacy.

Not everybody is willing to open themselves to the same level of experience. Being intimate requires having a set of mutual experiences and then acting upon them. Some of my most intimate friends are people with whom I will never have sex. It is also possible for you to be intimate with someone who is not intimate with you - if they do not open themselves to the experience, it does not diminish the sense of bonding that you feel, but it will hurt like hell when you find out they didn't get as much out of it.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to MladyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Men and Intimacy - 6/2/2008 9:07:21 PM   
MrRandallspe


Posts: 110
Joined: 1/1/2008
Status: offline 		Can B/D bring more intimancy?

Humm,,,I feel that it does only if the ones involved have a dedicated relationship and have total trust and honesty. To say that those into B/D have more would not be 100% correct nor would a total vanilla relationship have 100%.  It all depends totally upon the ones with-in the relationship. I have seen relationships,both B/D and vanilla fall apart due to the lack of intimancy.

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Men and Intimacy - 6/6/2008 9:03:51 PM   
UncleNasty


Posts: 1108
Joined: 3/20/2004
Status: offline 		Intimacy is being safe in being 100% of who and what you are with another, and they with you as well.

Uncle Nasty

(in reply to MrRandallspe)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Men and Intimacy - 6/7/2008 3:23:42 AM   
Hippiekinkster


Posts: 5512
Joined: 11/20/2007
From: Liechtenstein
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

intimacy is what i crave when i'm alone.  yes, nasty sex too, but mostly just intimacy.  to me that means sharing the good and bad in a very personal way and still wanting each other.
When you get all stressed out, baby, remember I taught you how to make good Sauerkraut. 

Don't lose perspective.

_____________________________

"We are convinced that freedom w/o Socialism is privilege and injustice, and that Socialism w/o freedom is slavery and brutality." Bakunin

“Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore we are saved by love.” Reinhold Ne

(in reply to christine1)
Profile   Post #: 50
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