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RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? - 5/2/2008 4:05:03 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Now that a 1,000 lbs of sensible advice has been dispensed, lets get to the silly and sarcastic stuff.  Try this to loosed your ass up:

Use Bengay as lube, it says it loosens tight muscles..  LOL



hehehe    -    Bad Man!     hehehe

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? - 5/3/2008 1:07:31 AM   
Skully7000


Posts: 377
Joined: 7/22/2007
Status: offline 		glad you are getting the doctor thing out of the way...

now thats out of way:

as people have mentioned, really focus on your mental state. You admitted that it has gotten to the point where you don't even want to sleep in the same bed... that in itself is a sign that you have already associated the pain of the anal sex with unpleasant thoughts of failure and not pleasing your S.O. etc etc. besides the physical health answers you need to talk to your S.O. and work on the mental problems. you have to relax. you have to not Fear the performance and just enjoy the act. He has to understand that he can't just command it and make it happen. and pulling your hair isn't going to help your performance anxiety...

he has to understand that he is not helping and since this is something you both want... he must be prepared to do what he needs to, you must be relaxed and ease back into it. it has to be sexy again.

cheers
and good luck
Skully

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? - 5/3/2008 6:55:29 PM   
BikerDomRealTime


Posts: 86
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Labia

My Master loves to have anal sex with me. Up until recently I didn't find it an issue. Something had triggred me into not relaxing as of late and I find it terribly painful when he pushes himself into my sphincter and starts the pistion action. It has become so much of an issue that I don't want to sleep in the same bed and he is fraustrated that I don't want it cause it hurts. He has tried a bit to sooth me. From massaging my back, squeezing my breasts. To hurting me in other ways to take my mind of the internal pain of his penis inside my sphincter. Like grabbing a fistful of my hair and twisting it from my sclap to spanking me.
It is getting so bad that the last time I told him to stop he got the shitz and muttered he was about to come and he had to stop.
I want to relax like I used to so it can be enjoyable for me and him.
I have been considering on getting a buttplug just a small one to wear for a short period during the day. Hopefully to get used to it. Is this a good idea? Or is there a good numbing cream to put around the sphincter?


Hello labia,

Perhaps this has already been addressed and I appologize if I am rehashing things.  I read that in the past you had not had an issue with anal sex but now you do.  I think what needs to be addressed is why you are not relaxing when you and Master are having this.  I think a plug is good for loosening and stretching tight muscles, but I don't think they will do anything for the psychological aspect of you not being able to relax.  Perhaps you can reflect back on when the tension began and try to see a cause and effect.  Did something happen that started you to tense up when you have anal sex?  Just my thoughts.

(in reply to Labia)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? - 5/3/2008 8:14:35 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

Use Bengay as lube, it says it loosens tight muscles..


I used to do this with my plug until someone on here posted that it has a lot of aspirin in it that can be absorbed quickly in the rectum.  Now i just use a dab to get the nice sting.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to ResidentSadist)
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RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? - 5/3/2008 9:57:56 PM   
EnferCatin


Posts: 7
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Go to the Doctor.  It shouldn't hurt if you've been doing it all along.  Don't fool around with sudden pain back there, it can be very serious.  If everything checks out fine, go the plug route.  It works great. 

(in reply to Labia)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? - 5/4/2008 5:45:18 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: babygurl4daddy

umm, time for a new dom that will respect you. i love being a babygirl... daddies are so sweet yet very strict and take care of you in every way.
 Why on earth would someone 'find a new dom' because something has become uncomfortable?This is when being an adult comes into play, where people sit down and talk about things then work things out. Ending a relationship simply due to a particular discomfort, is to me immature behavior that will end up with that person never growing or learning how to cope with stuff that can easily be worked through. I certainly don't see it as a lack of respect from him, but this suggestion screams lack of respect from the other end. 'Umm if it doesn't work, then give up' is self defeating and not a good way to go through life. OP yup you have gotten some good advice. My bit is to see if he can spend extended time playing with your ass before entry, get that arousal and satisfication working again if it is not a medical issue.

_____________________________


~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to babygurl4daddy)
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RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? - 5/7/2008 8:44:33 PM   
lostgirl83


Posts: 81
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		Hmm well hopefully the doctor visit goes ok... I do have this problem occasionally myself. Id have to agree with a few people on here, a butt plug is the way to go. Not one of the huge plastic ones, rather a small (think the length of your middle finger, and maybe an inch and a half across at the widest point) rubber or silicon version. Use LOTS of lube... more than you think you will need and work it in. Leave it alone for a few hours before you play. You'll be surprised how much better it feels. The small plug won't stretch your asshole, but holding it open like that for a while will relax the muscles enough to make sex comfortable. I have done this... even wore it to work hehe, it helps!!

(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? - 5/7/2008 9:04:34 PM   
beltainefaerie


Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline 		If there isn't anything medical, I agree that an anal plug may be just what will help you get used to penetration again while masturbating and practice relaxation.  It can be helpful to practice relaxing and stretching when you aren't feeling the pressure of wanting to be a good sub so he can cum, etc.

In addition to the great advice you have already gotten, I would just mention that not all toys are created equal.  Even if it says it is silicone, go with a reputable brand.  (I got some kind of generic butt plug that claimed to be silicone and in fact felt like hard plastic.  when I tried to sterilize it, it melted.  Grr.  Tantus makes fabulous anal plugs and other toys and I've never had any issue.) 

(in reply to lostgirl83)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? - 5/8/2008 2:24:40 PM   
babygurl4daddy


Posts: 19
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline 		Bengay, wow you are mean! I think Vick's Vapor Rub should work.. may as well suggest ginger while you are at it... hell try wasabi for kicks.

(in reply to beltainefaerie)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? - 5/19/2008 4:05:57 PM   
Labia


Posts: 3
Joined: 4/30/2008
Status: offline 		Hey guys thanks for all your wonderful answers, I have talked with my master and he said that I should try the buttplug option and wear it while I walk to the front gate and back to the house.  It's not a short walk as he lives on a farm. So it should give me time to get used to it.

(in reply to babygurl4daddy)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? - 5/19/2008 5:04:30 PM   
Aanakaris


Posts: 310
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Labia

Hey guys thanks for all your wonderful answers, I have talked with my master and he said that I should try the buttplug option and wear it while I walk to the front gate and back to the house.  It's not a short walk as he lives on a farm. So it should give me time to get used to it.


If you do that, remember to not only lubricate the plug, but put some slippery stuff on the sides of the plug after you get it in to stop your ass cheeks from chafing against it.

Howard

(in reply to Labia)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? - 5/19/2008 5:10:35 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		There are some plugs that are better designed for that type of wear.

Also, I highly recommend the book Anal Pleasure And Health by Jack Morin.

There is a lot of good information in it and some good excercises.

(in reply to Labia)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? - 5/19/2008 11:02:06 PM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		Or...just let it be for a while.
And the right feeling..to you..might come back.
It is good to focus a while on something else. Yes I know..your Owner might dislike this scenario.

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to babygurl4daddy)
Profile   Post #: 33
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