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Stephann -> RE: Mentorship!? (4/17/2008 8:33:45 AM)
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The real trouble with the mentorship discussion is that the assumption is there's a one-size-fits-all solution.
While living in Michigan, I felt like I was in BDSM hell. The nearest munch was an hour's drive away, and doubled as a Renn Faire gathering. The group simply didn't strike me as the sort of people I wanted to incorporate in my personal life. That meant, short of a four hour drive to Detroit, there really wouldn't be any public scene for me to participate in. The rules and structures of my D/s relationships wouldn't be influenced by other people, and there wouldn't be large numbers of successful, happy couples/groups to model. A mentorship situation just doesn't seem appropriate under such circumstances, since lack of any real social cohesion would result in slim pickings to find a mentor (for either a dominant or submissive.) It'd be like trying to find someone to teach me how to build windmills in Alaska.
Since moving to California, I've been exposed to a very large, well established BDSM community. We have a choice of no fewer than five dungeons to visit in LA, several munches, balls, and fetish groups. The 'community' is so large, diverse, and established, that having someone within that community who understands it better can provide valuable information and serve as a resource for someone who is new to, or unsure of, the lifestyle. I was fortunate to meet and become acquainted with some respected and knowledgable people.
In short, what worked in Greenville, Michigan, isn't necessarily going to even come close to working in Los Angeles, California. Not everyone has an interest in the public scene, not everyone desires a heavy focus on power dynamics of their relationship. I think the greater your interest in public play, or heavy emphasis on D/s or S&M in your relationship, the greater the value a mentor might hold.
Stephan
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