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RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/16/2008 5:13:25 AM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		I entered the lifestyle at the old age of 15 and owned my first slave at the age of 18 now did I know what I was doing all the time hell no it was a learn by feel of situation,If it felt good then continue...As I grew a little older I was taken in hand by an "OLDER" DOM couple and taught me all about the LS and how things should be done....This LS doesn't have an age boundry, old and new are welcome with  the most cases with open arms....I believe its all a time issue for the most part,Those of us that are retired have much more time to put in then the young student or hard working young person..With this said I find myself at the age of 60 working harder gettimg more accomplished the at the age of 40..Money to attend events seems to be easier when you are retired or in my case seems so...My two cents ty for listening...bounty

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RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/16/2008 5:44:06 AM   
LilMissHaven


Posts: 734
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BOUNTYHUNTER

I entered the lifestyle at the old age of 15 and owned my first slave at the age of 18 now did I know what I was doing all the time hell no it was a learn by feel of situation,If it felt good then continue...As I grew a little older I was taken in hand by an "OLDER" DOM couple and taught me all about the LS and how things should be done....This LS doesn't have an age boundry, old and new are welcome with  the most cases with open arms....I believe its all a time issue for the most part,Those of us that are retired have much more time to put in then the young student or hard working young person..With this said I find myself at the age of 60 working harder gettimg more accomplished the at the age of 40..Money to attend events seems to be easier when you are retired or in my case seems so...My two cents ty for listening...bounty


I don't doubt what you say but 15 OMG I don't think I even knew what sex entailed at 15 let alone bdsm.

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Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/16/2008 6:04:16 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Lil I married my ex when she was 16. Seems that you were a late bloomer. As kids we played a lot of cowboy Indians stuff and tied each other up a lot. Some would consider that as BDSM. We thought of it as playing a game.

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/16/2008 6:28:25 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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Probably not.

It's probably one of those things that has a lot of different factors, from not having heard about BDSM in a positive context to not having the experience being unhappy in "vanilla" relationships to look for something different. Younger people may also choose to not use dating sites, being in school settings (high school, college or graduate) that can help provide dating opportunities.

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(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/16/2008 6:30:57 AM   
LilMissHaven


Posts: 734
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Lil I married my ex when she was 16. Seems that you were a late bloomer. As kids we played a lot of cowboy Indians stuff and tied each other up a lot. Some would consider that as BDSM. We thought of it as playing a game.


O'my gosh you people!! 

I wonder if that has anything to do with my attraction to older men, your all so corrupt... O the things I could learn

Definately a late bloomer, some of my friends started having sex at 13 .  If I ever have kids I'm plugging their ears, blind folding them, banning television and not letting them out of my sight EVER!!

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I must first learn to master myself, before I can truly be owned by one.

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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/16/2008 6:39:31 AM   
Real_Trouble


Posts: 471
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LilMissHaven

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Lil I married my ex when she was 16. Seems that you were a late bloomer. As kids we played a lot of cowboy Indians stuff and tied each other up a lot. Some would consider that as BDSM. We thought of it as playing a game.


O'my gosh you people!! 

I wonder if that has anything to do with my attraction to older men, your all so corrupt... O the things I could learn

Definately a late bloomer, some of my friends started having sex at 13 .  If I ever have kids I'm plugging their ears, blind folding them, banning television and not letting them out of my sight EVER!!


You know that will only encourage them to rebel even more, right?

I'm just sayin'.


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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/16/2008 7:00:21 AM   
LilMissHaven


Posts: 734
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Real_Trouble

quote:

ORIGINAL: LilMissHaven

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Lil I married my ex when she was 16. Seems that you were a late bloomer. As kids we played a lot of cowboy Indians stuff and tied each other up a lot. Some would consider that as BDSM. We thought of it as playing a game.


O'my gosh you people!! 

I wonder if that has anything to do with my attraction to older men, your all so corrupt... O the things I could learn

Definately a late bloomer, some of my friends started having sex at 13 .  If I ever have kids I'm plugging their ears, blind folding them, banning television and not letting them out of my sight EVER!!


You know that will only encourage them to rebel even more, right?

I'm just sayin'.



Having me for a mother doesn't help...perhaps its best if I just keep my legs crossed, the world is not ready for more then one Haven.

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I must first learn to master myself, before I can truly be owned by one.

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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/16/2008 7:19:19 AM   
KMsAngel


Posts: 17415
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline 		my mother always told me an asprin between the knees - to keep from having sex. she obviously had no imagination when it came to positions! mind you, she also had 8 of us!

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RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/16/2008 7:29:42 AM   
LilMissHaven


Posts: 734
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KMsAngel

my mother always told me an asprin between the knees - to keep from having sex. she obviously had no imagination when it came to positions! mind you, she also had 8 of us!


With 8 of you one would be led to think your mother wrote the book on positions lol.

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I must first learn to master myself, before I can truly be owned by one.

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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/16/2008 8:23:33 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		KMsAngel we must be related. We had 8 in our family also.

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RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/16/2008 9:36:46 AM   
khem


Posts: 300
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline 		I've noticed people over forty tend to make up the bulk of the BDSM groups I've been to.  My theory is that most of the under 40's show up and check the group out.  They tend to find people they do not relate well to and don't go back.  I've heard some rude snarkiness along the lines of "why would I go to a munch?  Bunch of stuck up people my parent's age who should never be squeezing their incrediably fat asses into leather."  I disagree with that opnion and do hang out with people older than myself in the lifestyle, but I think this comes from an attitude of wanting to learn rather than wanting to have fun or find a partner.  The young people seem to bolt pretty fast if they are looking for fun or a partner only.  People show up to BDSM groups for a variety of reasons, but young people looking for partners are not going to stay long if they do not see anyone. If I start counting the number of people I know into BDSM by age, it's pretty even.  The difference is that the young ones are going out drinking or going to goth/etc clubs, not munches.  

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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Is there a correlation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/16/2008 12:28:13 PM   
Wheldrake


Posts: 477
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

If I am not, what would you say are the major reasons for this?

Boredom.

At 40 you've experienced most of the varieties of 'vanilla' sex. You've gone through a spouse or two. You've done the 'bar' scene, the 'spa' scene. Finding someone to 'fool around' is not a big challenge. The internet provides a plethora of opportunity to meet others. However no matter how many new partners of infinite variety you experience ultimately the experience is the same. You start to wonder, especially at the age of 40 when you appreciate your own mortality, is that all there is? Then you stumble onto a BDSM website.



I'm sure it works this way for many people, but I certainly didn't turn to BDSM out of boredom. My sexuality has always been tied up with submissive feelings, so I went looking for BDSM experiences basically as soon as I felt confident enough, in my mid-twenties. I suspect a lot of younger people in the lifestyle are in a similar position, just starting to actively explore desires and fantasies that may have been gestating for years.

Now I'm 31, and I belong to a dominant woman who's just a few years older, but I like to think I can appreciate both the energy and adventurousness of the young and the experience and maturity of the old - to say nothing of those wonderful individuals, of all ages, who manage to combine both sets of qualities. I wouldn't want to segregate myself among people that fall into my own age bracket.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/16/2008 2:29:47 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		Most of the people in my local community and that I generally know in the lifestyle are over thirty.  I can honestly only think of a handful who are under that.  Of the over thirty group, most of them, by a landslide, are over forty as well.

My initial thoughts on this are that maybe it takes time to work yourself up to the courage to enter the lifestyle publicly and some of the younger people aren't taking those steps yet due to many different factors.  Regardless of being by far the youngest in any of the groups I belong to, I have always been treated with welcome and respect.  Age has never really been an issue.  They are simply people whom I relate to and whose company I greatly enjoy, and it goes both ways.

Of course, most of my friends, either vanilla or not are in the over thirty category, as well.  I've been told that I act much more mature and wiser than my twenty-four years, especially since I married and became a proud mom.  If only they could see me clean my house while singing at the top of my lungs to David Bowie, using the broomstick like a microphone, and dancing around barefoot like a wild woman.  Then they might think differently. 

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(in reply to hydranmenace)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/16/2008 5:02:34 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		There has always been a "big table" and the "little table".  When you learn the etiquette and mind your manners.. then you advance to the Big Table in life. 
 
Youth is "open minded" because they haven't experienced much.. Olders are seen as "close minded" because they are wise enough not to keep making the same mistakes.. and although we have been there- the youngers feel they are onto something new.  We just hang back and let 'em catch up.
 
"Those that think they know everything are irritants to those of us who do".

(in reply to hydranmenace)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/17/2008 4:56:00 PM   
Giugnol


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/11/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hydranmenace


There is also a maturity factor involved, I think. Often, it seems, younger people come into this 'lifestyle' without actively seeking guidance, or researching on their own, or are so self absorbed that they think they need not do either and they know all there is to know. This leads to a backlash in attitude toward them which may push them away. Note that I am not being accusatory here. Often enough that backlash is well deserved.

I'm sure there are more and varied explanations, and that is what I am interested in. Am I just plain wrong? If I am not, what would you say are the major reasons for this?


speaking as a young (20 yr old) woman just coming into the scene, the first thing I did was get advice from someone experianced in the scene and do my research. Just becouse someone is young it doesn't seccesarily follow that they are stupid.

< Message edited by Giugnol -- 4/17/2008 5:00:20 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/17/2008 5:34:14 PM   
Real_Trouble


Posts: 471
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Giugnol
speaking as a young (20 yr old) woman just coming into the scene, the first thing I did was get advice from someone experianced in the scene and do my research. Just becouse someone is young it doesn't seccesarily follow that they are stupid.


In fairness, I know just as many old people who are wrong and/or foolish as I do young ones.

While experience comes with age, I would echo the words of a former martial arts instructor and say this:

Practice makes permanent.

If someone has not been learning from their experiences, they are just very good at being wrong when they grow older.  You get out of life what you put into it; never blindly trust youth or age.  Neither is what really matters.

_____________________________

Send lawyers, guns, and money.

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Profile   Post #: 56
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