RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifestyle'?

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RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/15/2008 7:39:32 AM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
.
that people you discuss the finer points of shibari with are also the people you ought to discuss Borderline Personality Disorder with. Because the odds are against them being experts in both fields.

This is the best read of the day.

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RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/15/2008 7:41:17 AM

Prinsexx

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It's all just ageism really.....

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RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/15/2008 8:32:08 AM

hardbodysub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

there's no correlation between the two; it's just that while i was young, i did what felt good, and now that i'm older, i found out there was a name for it.

Great answer! This really gave me a chuckle.

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RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/15/2008 9:22:48 AM

LilMissHaven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

It's all just ageism really.....

Maybe not ageism but something more along the lines of fear of rejection.

I know I made J happy but I often find myself wondering what could I possibly have to offer an older more experianced Dom. I would think they'd be more attracted to the older, more experianced subs girls like myself want to be when they grow up.

Make sense?

So, anyways while I'm nervous about approaching new older Dom's to our group I don't let that get in my way cause you never know.

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RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/15/2008 1:26:13 PM

madshysoul

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

There are also other reasons many of us "Older crowd" don't come over and talk to the younger "fresh meat" Many times it's not a matter of not wanting to welome them but rather not wanting to be misread as the creapy older guy hitting on them. So rather than making the walk over or as happens so many times joining in the frenzy of activity around the "pretty young things" some of the Older crowd want to give them their space and let them join the activities at their own pace.

It's a ballancing act on both sides of the age gap.

While I can't speak for all youth, I just wanted to say 'Thank You'. While not everyone notices that kind of manners, some of us do, and it's greatly appreciated.

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RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/15/2008 1:31:08 PM

Archer

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Don't get me wrong I'm as selfishly pervy as the ones who join the frenzy. It's just a method in my madness to try something the other pervs have not figured out yet. LOL. It's a lure, to draw them in. LOL

By the time they fight off the frenzy and are ready to join assuming they survived the swim upstream, even old I look pretty good by comparison. LOL

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RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/15/2008 3:02:02 PM

midgetmafiosa

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like Lynx said, not all older people are "gross." I just don't want them for my lovers. I would prefer to have someone closer to my own age. I'm 28. I'd like to (and this is open to review, given the individual) stick with someone under 35 or 40. Hey, I'm sure lots of more mature folks probably prefer dating in their own age bracket, too. Nothing wrong with it. I'm just as ageist on the reverse end. With few exceptions (note: there are exceptions), I'm also not looking for younger partners, either. I have my experiences and reasons for both. I don't ask why everyone else makes their choices...I really don't understand what all the fuss is about mine.

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RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/15/2008 3:14:58 PM

SNoB

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Im a leader in a local group that is targeted at the 18-30 crowd. Our munches arent limited this age range, I have lots of older friends in the community, but do I want to date someone twice my age? No, and thats my choice. Can you really be upset with a girl that doesnt want to date someone twice their age? Not really, what if they arent attracted to older people? They cant do much to change that.

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RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/15/2008 3:21:58 PM

LadyPact

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I do wonder often if it does have something to do with financial responsibility that comes with age. I find it more common that those in the 'older' catagory have more disposable income to attend munches, events, etc., because there is less of an issue with having an evening free and a few dollars to spend.

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RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/15/2008 3:59:06 PM

midgetmafiosa

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I only wish there were groups for younger people in my area. As it is, there are barely groups for anyone in my area.

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RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/15/2008 3:59:42 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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A) Being active in the local scene means having money, time, transportation and a fair bit of independence. In general, the older you get, the more of those you have, especially as the kids leave the nest.

B) Many people are having their second teenagehood. They did the marriage, they did the life they were taught they needed to have, to end up frustrated and bored and discover kink- and they cling to it with all their might and throw themselves into it.

C) Younger people have more distractions, more options, than ever before. Alternative sub cultures of all kinds are fairly easily found in most places in America these days, not so many make kink their one big social circle.

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RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/15/2008 4:02:59 PM

madshysoul

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I do wonder often if it does have something to do with financial responsibility that comes with age. I find it more common that those in the 'older' catagory have more disposable income to attend munches, events, etc., because there is less of an issue with having an evening free and a few dollars to spend.

As a possible correllation, could it also be that those of the 'younger' category that are in the 'still finding themselves' phase of life have a diverse enough set of interests that the munches and events are competing more for the finite 'time' resource that we all have not nearly enough of? Note that this observation isn't meant to imply that 'older' folks don't do as much, merely that they have had more life-time to experience and winnow out their likes and dislikes where us younger folk are still in the 'go and try everything' stage.

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RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/15/2008 4:18:12 PM

SirKaton

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Yes, I think there is. As we mature (in age and experience), we become less concerned with allowing others to define who we are and what we do sexually. And while we may have "done it all" on the vanilla side by this point, it was usually on typically socially acceptable terms within our respective communities.

What we like isn't quite mainstream, but there are active communities out here for us and because we are getting to a point where we really don't give a fuck what others think about what we do in OUR bedrooms, we gravitate towards them en masse.

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RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/15/2008 4:47:43 PM

Real_Trouble

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KMsAngel

might also be just a simple demographic point. the baby boomer generation (40+) is hitting its stride right now, and thee's a HUGE pear shaped mob of them happening.

Base rates matter more than people think, and this is a very astute comment.

Likewise, I would suggest that the younger crowd is possibly under-represented at sites like this, for any number of reasons. I don't think there are less people into kink at any age band, but that there might be real issues with wanting to post online at a web board or not.

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RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/15/2008 5:12:38 PM

califsue

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i don't know if there is a correlation or not between age and the lifestyle.
i know for me, i came to the lifestyle late and that i prefer men closer to my age
just because i don't feel i have alot in common with men still in their 20/30's.
a 20/30 year old still has a lifetime to experience and should do so.

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RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/15/2008 5:29:28 PM

dodedo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hydranmenace

In general, it is possible that those who are over 40 or so are simply more grounded and connected with themselves and the world around them, and so what other people think about them enters into the equation to a lesser degree. Experience in life and sexuality may also be a factor. In effect, they have had more time to learn what they like, and why. Generally speaking, those who are in the 18-30's category might still be bumping around trying to figure out who they are.

I'm sure there are more and varied explanations, and that is what I am interested in. Am I just plain wrong? If I am not, what would you say are the major reasons for this?

I think that sexuality and sexual preferences take a while to mature. When we're young, we tend to be all about the sex. And frankly, I think it's much easier to settle in to something vanilla at first, and have our sexuality expand from there. I mean, I've had D/s fantasies since I was iddy biddy, but that doesn't mean that I knew how to find what I was looking for, or even how to define that, until much later.

Considering that *most* people won't mature sexually until later in live (women come into their sexuality at 30, and men earlier) it's not surprising that it takes years after *that* point to pinpoint exactly what you're looking for, and admitting that maybe it's a 'freaky' non-vanilla, bdsm, twist.

Growing up, I have heard a lot of stories about parents who didn't come to the realization that they were homosexual until later in life, when they had families. A lot of my friends had mothers who finally admitted to themselves that they were gay, and went for the relationship type they'd been holding back from their entire lives.

I think that the pattern for BDSM is the same. It takes years to pin down the kinks. Not everybody knows right away what they need. That is why, in my opinion, so many people who know what they want and come looking for it are older in years.

Another thought is this: when you're young, are you really seeking your relationships mostly online? In high school, college, and after college, you're probably still dating in the bar circle, the classmates, the co-workers. The friends of friends... It might not be until later in life that you realize that you want this *specific* thing out of sex, and that it's probably easier to find the right person online.

For the maturity factor, it might be that you have to be older to have the patience to nurture a long-distance relationship that might come from seeking someone online. Or, maybe the 40 year olds are sluts who already worked their way through the dating pool in their kinky community ;)

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RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/15/2008 6:18:40 PM

chellekitty

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

A) Being active in the local scene means having money, time, transportation and a fair bit of independence. In general, the older you get, the more of those you have, especially as the kids leave the nest.

B) Many people are having their second teenagehood. They did the marriage, they did the life they were taught they needed to have, to end up frustrated and bored and discover kink- and they cling to it with all their might and throw themselves into it.

C) Younger people have more distractions, more options, than ever before. Alternative sub cultures of all kinds are fairly easily found in most places in America these days, not so many make kink their one big social circle.

well that saved me a lot of typing....what she said...

oh and Archer's a really hot old creapy perv and i wouldn't mind being hit on by him at all...specially not after reading the checking in thread response by him...

chelle...the retirement home robber

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RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/15/2008 7:13:25 PM

Sandyshores29718

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There does SEEM to be more 40+ people within the life, but its only cause a lot of Uus in the younger crowd really don't know what Wwe are into is BDSM. Simple. When i was 17 i thought tying up and gagging my boyfriend was just kinky. Also, its not like the toys/outfits/clubs/ect are all that cheap. So, 40+ people tend to have more time and money. Personally, my step dad is 20years old than my mother to the day. i grew up around the age difference like that. 20 years difference is a bit much for me, BUT i will take the time and get to know someone before passing the judgement that They are too old and if nothing else maybe a good friend or mentor within the life? Uus younger people tend to shy away from old ones casue we think they just want to use us imo. Age is just a state of mind. =)

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RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/16/2008 4:03:38 AM

LilMissHaven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

A) Being active in the local scene means having money, time, transportation and a fair bit of independence. In general, the older you get, the more of those you have, especially as the kids leave the nest.

B) Many people are having their second teenagehood. They did the marriage, they did the life they were taught they needed to have, to end up frustrated and bored and discover kink- and they cling to it with all their might and throw themselves into it.

C) Younger people have more distractions, more options, than ever before. Alternative sub cultures of all kinds are fairly easily found in most places in America these days, not so many make kink their one big social circle.

I can only speak for myself but I believe Lucky has hit the nail on the head.

I go to school full time, work two jobs, when I have free time if someone I respect hasn't approached me with a very good reason to attend a munch (meeting their new sub, helping with organization, etc) I don't go.

The main reason being munches are generally organized around older generations who don't quite understand that people of my generation (where I'm located at least) don 't feel a good time is sitting around sipping wine talking about the good ole days. We're young, we're active, we went to go go go, see see see and do do do.

Given the choice between a munch and a poker run, can pretty much bet your last dollar I'm not going to the munch.

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RE: Is there a corellation between age, and 'the lifest... - 4/16/2008 4:19:13 AM

RavenMuse

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Lifestyle doesn't have an age boundery, I Maybe in the 40+ range now but was introduced in My mid teens (And My girl is in her early 20's). Around the scene I regularly interact with people from 18-50 or even 60+

I do think many coming in over the last few years have only recently descovered it in their 30's and 40's, maybe a little due to self awareness and maturity but personaly I think the largest factor is availability of information.

More young people are comming in also, the information is more accessable than ever and those coming into it later in life quite possibly might have discovered who they are earlier had they encountered that information earlier rather than thinking the vanilla that made them unhappy was their only option.

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