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ORIGINAL: colouredin

Mood is transferable if you go to work and someone is stressed often the people working around them will become stressed too its just natural. If for example someone is sad and the other person is able to try and cheer them up normally the person doing the cheering will become very emotionally drained because they had to fight their natural responses. Some people are more likely to be influenced by other peoples feelings.

I am someone who can be very good at masking my feelings, I have often been in periods where I have to slap on a smiling face no matter how I feel, I can do it for a fairly long period of time but eventually it gets very hard. If the person is emotional a lot of the time and you are constantly having to pretend you dont get your own emotional needs met, and that can lead to real resentment, trust me I know this.

If the person is simply imitating your emotions well it doesnt make for a very happy enviroment someone has to make the conscious effort to make things better. Often that doesnt happen and people sink more and more into themselves and that can lead to a disjointed relationship. Someone has to try and pull the other one up and then hope that they will then return the favour.

Its bloody difficult, and I hope that things get a bit easier for you, I am sure that once you have spoken to him things will feel a little bit lighter on you. But you have to remember that it is in both of your best interests that you work equally hard. Simply that one person is having more emotional trauma doesnt mean that the other one stops counting (i dont believe you think this anyway just if you have a bad day and you know he has worked at making it a bit better do something to show him you appriciate him, i would have loved that)

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ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

So long as you are not actively terrorizing people with your emotional states as an abuser, I don't think you should feel guilty that your partner has such strong empathy with you.  That is a thing to be cherished, not discouraged.

If you look at him and realize that he feels your hurts as well as your joys, and you actually want him to feel more of the latter than the former...it seems to me that your love for one another is accomplishing exactly what love is meant to accomplish.  You are inspired to be more joyous and less sad or angry, because you love him.  Seeing yourself reflected in his eyes is a lesson.

I have learned the same lesson from every person who has ever really loved me, including my mother and my children.  I have found it is impossible to suffer separately from the ones who truly care about you.  If you want to care for certain people, protect them, shield them from pain--you have to look out for yourself.

When you are cut, the ones that love you bleed.  Always.

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Emotions are really funny things though one person i know would transfer her emotions so she would be really upset about one thing but wouldnt get upset about that instead would look for something else during the day and get disproportionatly upset about that.

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ORIGINAL: charmdpetKeira

We own our emotions, just as we own our perceptions.
 
For me, the behavior as a child was caused by misconceived perception, and survival skills.
 
As a pet, I equate my owner similarly to a parental figure in some ways; the same childlike mirroring has occured.
 
I have been able to reason the idea away, by realizing not only is it not my liberty, but it is impossible for me to feel, for my owner.
 
k

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ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

GT,
Ramble on! Your answer makes sense to me. I hadn't thought of any of this as transference or projecting. Nice input!

MoGa

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I am glad I am not the only one wondering about this.

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I have the same more or less. Emotions of D/s seems to be transmitted. And especially a sub/slave seems to feel everything times 10.
The only good way to deal with it..is to ask what he or she thinks. This mostly leads to a discussion and ..both will feel better in beeing open. In my case it always solves the issue.

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ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

I am worried. When I was young, I used to wait each morning to see what "face" my mother had on, before I approached her. If she was happy, then I knew it was safe to be happy. If she was angry, I stayed the hell out of her way. If she was sad...well, you get the picture.
I sometimes look at my sub and I wonder just how much of his emotions are a direct result of how I am feeling. If I am angry over something that had nothing to do with him, he tends to take on the anger as his own. For example: If someone from the store angers me, it is my pup who seems to take on the anger more than I do. I assure him that I am quite capable of handling the situation, and I normally do, but he is left feeling anger over it. Is he feeding off my anger? I notice that when I am sad or unhappy, he will be too. His voice gets very quiet and I have to ask him what is wrong. He says nothing, but I can tell from his demeanor that something is..and usually it is because I am sad.
I hate to think that my boy waits each morning to see what "face" I have on, before approaching me. This is something I need to work on with him, because I don't want to own his emotions. I love his individualism and his gentle personality.
I would love to hear from those who have gone through this, or are going through this now.

I want to stress..that I know that this is a problem that I need to deal with, but am seeking advice or words of experience.

Thank y'all in advance :)

MoGa

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ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

M of Georgia,

You are asking two very different questions.  One is are you being emotionally healthy with your partner and the other is are we responsible for how we act because of our emotions.

We are responsible for how we act and to a lesser degree the intensity of our emotional responses.

As to the question of are you emotionally intimidating your partner, it is a long and slow path to shed ourselves of our parents patterns.  How sure are you that you have moved past them?  We tend to pick partners who participate in them and as we grow we do them less and less.  Do you REALLY know where you are on that path?  You are seeing familiar behavior...