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RE: disrespect - 3/28/2008 2:05:49 PM   
MistressVnus


Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline
quote:

I almost feel safe enough to put my old naked profile pic up ...


Oh puuuhhhlleeeeeeeezzzzz do!!! *smile*  Let's us who appreciate beauty have a chance to perv you.  *chuckle*


_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: disrespect - 3/28/2008 2:06:40 PM   
Gemini1766


Posts: 991
Joined: 3/7/2008
Status: offline 		Rickroll them.
There was a thread on it in the Casual Banter section but I can't find it now.



_____________________________

"Strangers do not owe strangers anything, beyond an obeisance to the laws mutual conduct as dictated by the land in which they live. Anything else is negotiable." puella

"TwistedKinkerBell's online male companion of a nearly intimate nature."

(in reply to ifyoudontknow)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: disrespect - 3/28/2008 2:07:02 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Actually, that never dissuades me. I know what responsibility is. It's when the sub refuses to accept her part in making it possible that I have issues. The work needs to come from both sides-never expect a Top to be a mind reader.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: disrespect - 3/28/2008 2:08:33 PM   
Gemini1766


Posts: 991
Joined: 3/7/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ifyoudontknow

well said sassysexygirl.  *smiles*

ok..i have opened my profile and added a sternly worded warning to the jerks out there.. we'll see if it works! 

Thanks to all who replied! 

mel
It won't
Just delete thier msgs, responding only encourages them.
Unless of course you rickroll them.


_____________________________

"Strangers do not owe strangers anything, beyond an obeisance to the laws mutual conduct as dictated by the land in which they live. Anything else is negotiable." puella

"TwistedKinkerBell's online male companion of a nearly intimate nature."

(in reply to ifyoudontknow)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: disrespect - 3/28/2008 2:08:43 PM   
sassysexygirl


Posts: 213
Joined: 8/23/2007
Status: offline 		greetings softness

quote:

almost feel safe enough to put my old naked profile pic up ...


ack!!! lass, that still might not be such a good idea, there are slaves in these here waters that may just peek a lil too long  *winks and drools*

   gemmie

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: disrespect - 3/28/2008 2:34:40 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		I have also found that typing back a lovely message that states, "I love you.  We'll be together forever.  I want to have your children.  Can I move in with you?", really does the trick.  You'll never hear from them again!  No worries, you can thank me later.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to Gemini1766)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: disrespect - 3/28/2008 2:59:14 PM   
ifyoudontknow


Posts: 30
Joined: 1/28/2008
Status: offline 		LOL...ok.. thats classic. *writes that down*  thanks NakedOnMyChain!!
 
mel

_____________________________

there is a darkness deep in you... a frightening magic i cling to.....

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: disrespect - 3/28/2008 4:51:43 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5175
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

i have to whole-heartedly disagree with this.  what this means to me (as i too am under consideration) and probably to lots of others, is that He is also being considered by me, so i don't talk to other potentials while we're working on a possible dynamic. 


I've never been under consideration.  Frankly, if he'd told me i was, i would have shown him the door.  Neither have i had anyone under my consideration.  We first became friends.  Then we shared vacations and met family.  It felt right.  We felt we could accept the other's quirks.  Our lifestyle goals seemed to be similar. He could and did see whomever he wished to see when we lived apart.   I also could see whomever i chose to see.  We lived together as friends and companions until a year later when....after much thought.... i was collared.  

Each person has their own interpretation of words and ideas.  I have mine.  You have yours.  The men, some of them probably real Doms who are writing to mel have theirs.  I was merely giving her one reason a Dom might continue to approach her even though she has stated she is under consideration. 

(in reply to sassysexygirl)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: disrespect - 3/28/2008 4:58:12 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ifyoudontknow

well said sassysexygirl.  *smiles*

ok..i have opened my profile and added a sternly worded warning to the jerks out there.. we'll see if it works! 

Thanks to all who replied! 

mel


it won't work..LOL  But just ignore and/or block the ones that bug the crap outta ya :)


_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to ifyoudontknow)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: disrespect - 3/28/2008 5:27:59 PM   
Real_Trouble


Posts: 471
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline 		I have found, from personal experience, that failing to post a picture greatly reduces the amount of trash emails you get.

The staggering majority that I get are either from people who spot my forum posts (those poor souls) or from those who actually read my profile and wish to speak with me.  Why?  Because I don't have any eye candy for them to judge me by first.  Counter-intuitive, but it can be quite useful; I wouldn't recommend it if you are actively searching for someone, but I'm only sort of half-assed watching in case something particularly interesting comes along.


_____________________________

Send lawyers, guns, and money.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: disrespect - 3/28/2008 5:36:13 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Why are you letting other's poor behavior influence your self expression? If you want your profile public, make it public...and be thankful there is such a wondering weeding tool as obvious behavior flaws. Doesn't mean it's not annoying, though, but this is the nature of the net.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to ifyoudontknow)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: disrespect - 3/28/2008 7:17:47 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		The reason why is because a heck of a lot of collared/committed subs ARE easily swayed, shopping around and hoping for someone to rescue them away from their dom.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: disrespect - 3/28/2008 7:42:33 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Like everywhere else your going to find the same characters here just more concentratged due to the size of CM. There are good genuine people, wankers, polite folk and rude ignorant idiots. No differnece because of the BDSM sub-culture people are people first and they don't change their personalities because they are here.

Girls I've either had in a collar, probationary or full, and girls, I;'ve acted as their on line Guardian for, have all adeded right upo front. if anyone wants to discuss anything more than just friendship they need to contact me first. It roughly halved the idiots who ewither were just ignorant/rude or didn't read a full profile. I get requests for collars from overseas people the ones who appear genuine I reply to those who can't even understand that I live in Aiustralia and not Aiustria or expect me to pay their moving costs get ignored and deleted.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: disrespect - 3/28/2008 7:49:19 PM   
AtlantaMistress


Posts: 276
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline 		Don't assume just because you write it in your profile they will actually read it. I get emails from men who obviously don't read mine, and my boy has it BOLD with STARS across the top that he is collared by me, and still gets an occasional poacher. Some people want what they can't have, or think since someone else has you, or is "under consideration" that gives you more value.

Take the advice already offered, and don't waste time or let the emails bother you. I used to spend a lot of time giving people a piece of my mind, then realized I was doing nothing but wasting my precious time and letting them know they pushed my buttons. Just hit Delete, then Block.  For every 10 (or more) bad ones, there is one good one. CM has been great for me - I have not only met some great people from emails I have gotten, but learned and laughed a lot from reading the forum posts. I feel I have made some good connections with others, not wasting my time with the losers, but actually corresponding with the people who seem to be geniune.

Good luck!


_____________________________

Mistress Sandy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'd rather be hated for something I am than loved for something I am not.


(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: disrespect - 3/28/2008 7:51:53 PM   
OnlyMels


Posts: 115
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline 		I've had a couple Doms try to sway me but the thing is you can yet your email to where any emasils for any Doms will just go right into your bulk mail. thats what I did. My daddy still goes through them and tells someone off every once in a while. I get alot of guys in their late 40's sending me messeges and its like eww. No thanks. My profile is even a couples profile cause I have my daddys info on there also.

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: disrespect - 3/28/2008 7:53:27 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		I agree, Just tell them to shove their heads up a cow's whatsit and have a woolly bull bonk the daylights out of the cow whilst the idiot's head is up there.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)




(in reply to AtlantaMistress)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: disrespect - 3/28/2008 10:03:23 PM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

I've never been under consideration.  Frankly, if he'd told me i was, i would have shown him the door.  Neither have i had anyone under my consideration.  We first became friends.  Then we shared vacations and met family.  It felt right.  We felt we could accept the other's quirks.  Our lifestyle goals seemed to be similar. He could and did see whomever he wished to see when we lived apart.   I also could see whomever i chose to see.  We lived together as friends and companions until a year later when....after much thought.... i was collared.  



Well ya know ... that's exactly what I would call being "under consideration"! Getting to know each other, sharing everyday life as well as lifestyles ... considering each other as potential life partners. You may not have chosen to use those words ... but that's essentially what it was.

Not everyone has the same incredibly negative view of "under consideration" as you. It doesn't HAVE to mean that someone is FORCED to cut off contact with all others ... and I would advise any sub whose would-be Dominant tried to insist on that straight away to regard it as a huge red flag. However, as things progress, either/both sub and Dominant may voluntarily choose to discontinue developments with others in the process of focussing on the one that might be "it"! It can be a time thing as much as anything else. I did so voluntarily when I was pursuing a potential relationship last year ... when W/we didn't prove to be sufficiently compatible it wasn't hard to reconnect.

To the OP ... while I know not everyone reads profiles, it can only help to make clear the situation right at the top of the profile and in the journal. Suggested wording: "i have met a great Dom and have voluntarily decided to not pursue other Dominant contacts for the time being until i know if this will work out". It avoids those contentious words, and makes it clear it is your choice. It just might reduce the idiots by a fraction. Otherwise, BLOCK!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: disrespect - 3/28/2008 10:33:44 PM   
ifyoudontknow


Posts: 30
Joined: 1/28/2008
Status: offline 		thanks for all the good advice.... everyone have a fantabulous weekend!!
 
 

_____________________________

there is a darkness deep in you... a frightening magic i cling to.....

(in reply to MaamJay)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: disrespect - 3/28/2008 11:07:43 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

quote:

i have to whole-heartedly disagree with this.  what this means to me (as i too am under consideration) and probably to lots of others, is that He is also being considered by me, so i don't talk to other potentials while we're working on a possible dynamic. 


I've never been under consideration.  Frankly, if he'd told me i was, i would have shown him the door.  Neither have i had anyone under my consideration.  We first became friends.  Then we shared vacations and met family.  It felt right.  We felt we could accept the other's quirks.  Our lifestyle goals seemed to be similar. He could and did see whomever he wished to see when we lived apart.   I also could see whomever i chose to see.  We lived together as friends and companions until a year later when....after much thought.... i was collared.  


It's great that you have the maturity it takes to start from such a solid point.  It's not how all people do it, however, and it doesn't make them less mature for starting differently.  In my experience a person has gotten to know their dominant on a surface level, making friends and feeling out compatibility.  If that works out, I have seen friends submit to a collar of consideration.  There's nothing odd in it.  It simply gives them a period where they can, ideally, break that contract amicably if things don't work out, without the often more serious imprecations of an actual collar.  In my experience, anything that has gone into the realm of "consideration" hasn't worked out, but has always ended in friendship.  To each their own.  It may not be how you or I would do it, but it doesn't make it any less valid.  Nor does it make your way any less valid.  Different people have different paths and need to seek the best one for themselves.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: disrespect - 3/28/2008 11:16:22 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Perhaps they emailed you because they have no taste themselves AND they read your profile? 

quote:

  feisty, frisky soccer mom... needs to be controlled...

was owned before.. looking for ultimate 24/7 relationship... 

i return all msgs,  but be patient,  might take awhile :)  

03/28/08-Please be warned that if you message me and get rude, disrespect me or my Master, you will be kicked in the nuts, kicked to the curbed and generally ignored...

oh.. and have a great day!!! :D

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)
Profile   Post #: 40
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