quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

<fast reply>

As a newbie, I very much appreciated that cautionary tale.

I'm sorry, though, for MP's having to go through this experience.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MontrealPhoenix

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ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

IF he really does display your pictures at your workplace, play the victim role, claiming that you were attacked, raped, abused, etc.  ( choke out a few tears & sobs at this point ) and go on about how this has brought it all back again ( sob deeply ).
Or, get a t-shirt printed up with something mentioning your being a dumb slut ( I am not saying you are a dumb slut ) to remind you of what YOU allowed to happen.

All the best to you.  

Well given the fact that 2 weeks have passed since this happened i very much doubt he will follow through with his threats. The fact that i work in a very busy hospital would make it virtually impossible anyway.
 
I have never, nor do i now dispute that i let this happen. I'm just hoping to prevent it from happening to someone else...

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
Don't you think it's funny all these people telling you 'You should have..' or 'Why didn't you ..?' as if it could never happen to them?

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ORIGINAL: MontrealPhoenix

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ORIGINAL: MD1Master





He has pictures of you and you made a mistake.  Do not hide from this individual, take the fight to his doorstep.  Hire an attorney, start with letters to him (from your attorney), and HIS employer (again, from your employer).  Admit fully what you did and admit to the allowance of the photographs.  You took a chance, which I commend, but lost.  Now it is time to protect yourself. 

My advice is always, when it comes to attorneys, bring a gun to a knife fight.  Come out of your corner swinging and swinging for the fences.  Many times in civil cases, and this is civil though you have called 911 and filed a complaint which is criminal, it is the person with the deepest pockets that wins.  You made a $10,000 mistake, go hire council, the best council, pay your retainer, and let legal hell break loose. 

Play within the law but play to win!  Have him served at his office.  Request a meeting with your attorney, his boss, his HR department, and yourself.  Hopefully he has responded to you by e-mail from his workplace.  Bring pictures of yourself, as humiliating as it may be, put it all back on him.  Trust me, his employer will not tolerate e-mails from his work computer. 

Do not lay down, take action!!!  Remember, REMEMBER, when it comes to attorneys, bring a gun to a knife fight. 

All very good advice but not doable since, as i mention in the post, i know NOTHING about him...that's why i posting this as a cautionary tale, to prevent this from happening to anyone else.
 
To those who think it can't....neither did i...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

quote:

ORIGINAL: MontrealPhoenix

quote:

ORIGINAL: MD1Master





He has pictures of you and you made a mistake.  Do not hide from this individual, take the fight to his doorstep.  Hire an attorney, start with letters to him (from your attorney), and HIS employer (again, from your employer).  Admit fully what you did and admit to the allowance of the photographs.  You took a chance, which I commend, but lost.  Now it is time to protect yourself. 

My advice is always, when it comes to attorneys, bring a gun to a knife fight.  Come out of your corner swinging and swinging for the fences.  Many times in civil cases, and this is civil though you have called 911 and filed a complaint which is criminal, it is the person with the deepest pockets that wins.  You made a $10,000 mistake, go hire council, the best council, pay your retainer, and let legal hell break loose. 

Play within the law but play to win!  Have him served at his office.  Request a meeting with your attorney, his boss, his HR department, and yourself.  Hopefully he has responded to you by e-mail from his workplace.  Bring pictures of yourself, as humiliating as it may be, put it all back on him.  Trust me, his employer will not tolerate e-mails from his work computer. 

Do not lay down, take action!!!  Remember, REMEMBER, when it comes to attorneys, bring a gun to a knife fight. 

All very good advice but not doable since, as i mention in the post, i know NOTHING about him...that's why i posting this as a cautionary tale, to prevent this from happening to anyone else.
 
To those who think it can't....neither did i...

Hire a Private Investigator.

Emails alone can reveal a wealth of information, tracable to the ISP.  A Franklin here, a Benjiman there, and you can get his address and the contents of his email.  That should trace back to his work, giving you the ammo you need to do him good. 

He's blackmailing you it seems.  Stop being a victim.

Stephan

quote:

ORIGINAL: Evility

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
Don't you think it's funny all these people telling you 'You should have..' or 'Why didn't you ..?' as if it could never happen to them?

Why does it seem so implausible that that there are those of us out here who actually have a few scruples? I can't guarantee that someone would never pull the wool over my eyes but it sure wouldn't happen the day we met. The fact that you two were duped isn't your fault. It happens sometimes. The fact that you were duped so quickly is entirely your fault.

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ORIGINAL: MontrealPhoenix

**Note: This was originally posted on another site. I now have it in my journal but i thought it would do more good as a cautionary tale on the boards. I'm not looking for either sympathy or a good telling off. My purpose here is to educate those who think they don't need to get to know someone before playing - especially at their residence. I've since moved on and i'm not longer traumatised though i AM far more careful**
 
About a week ago, on this site, i met a  man who called himself a dominant. The next night we got together at my place and he gave me a good (consentual) beating. Yes i took a horrible risk and it paid off, or so i thought.We got together the next two days, and had more fun. He took lots of pictures. I thought i had gotten lucky. He was wonderful, kind and yet the sadist i've been looking for.
 
Then  he turned ugly. He called me after i had sent him an email, asking him to respect my limits, which he had tried to talk me into. He was furious and basically yelled at me until i was reduced to tears. Needless to say, i questioned what i had gotten myself into, BUT i thought okay yelling one time, while horrible is one time. Everyone loses their temper and he had told me he had had a bad day. No he shouldn't have taken it out on me but he had and i would give him the benefit of the doubt - one time.
 
I heard nothing from him for 2 days and figured that he was done with me and i wouldn't hear from him again. I sent him another email telling him that we had done things backwards and needed to take a step back and get to know each other. I also made it clear that i wouldn't tolerate being yelled at the way he had on Wednesday. He called me that evening and basically laid into me again. He told me that i needed to be taught a lesson and that he would be posting the pictures he had taken all over my place of work.
 
Neither yelling nor pleading has done any good.  He is determined to punish me and will not be disuaded. I made a horrible mistake, first of all by letting him come over, secondly by being open and honest and telling him details about myself whereas he has told me NOTHING. Let this be a warning to all of you who think it's daring to just meet up with someone you don't know. Yes it's possible for this to happen even when you've taken time to get to know someone but less likely as their refusal to talk about themselves would be a red flag. ALWAYS make sure to learn about them and make sure what they tell you is verifiable.I made horrible mistakes and now i'm paying for it. Don't make the same mistakes i did, it's not worth it.
 
Phoenix
 
UPDATE: He has now threatened me physical harm, i have therefore dialled 911 and filed a report.

quote:

ORIGINAL: HerLord

quote:

ORIGINAL: MontrealPhoenix

**Note: This was originally posted on another site. I now have it in my journal but i thought it would do more good as a cautionary tale on the boards. I'm not looking for either sympathy or a good telling off. My purpose here is to educate those who think they don't need to get to know someone before playing - especially at their residence. I've since moved on and i'm not longer traumatised though i AM far more careful**
 
About a week ago, on this site, i met a  man who called himself a dominant. The next night we got together at my place and he gave me a good (consentual) beating. Yes i took a horrible risk and it paid off, or so i thought.We got together the next two days, and had more fun. He took lots of pictures. I thought i had gotten lucky. He was wonderful, kind and yet the sadist i've been looking for.
 
Then  he turned ugly. He called me after i had sent him an email, asking him to respect my limits, which he had tried to talk me into. He was furious and basically yelled at me until i was reduced to tears. Needless to say, i questioned what i had gotten myself into, BUT i thought okay yelling one time, while horrible is one time. Everyone loses their temper and he had told me he had had a bad day. No he shouldn't have taken it out on me but he had and i would give him the benefit of the doubt - one time.
 
I heard nothing from him for 2 days and figured that he was done with me and i wouldn't hear from him again. I sent him another email telling him that we had done things backwards and needed to take a step back and get to know each other. I also made it clear that i wouldn't tolerate being yelled at the way he had on Wednesday. He called me that evening and basically laid into me again. He told me that i needed to be taught a lesson and that he would be posting the pictures he had taken all over my place of work.
 
Neither yelling nor pleading has done any good.  He is determined to punish me and will not be disuaded. I made a horrible mistake, first of all by letting him come over, secondly by being open and honest and telling him details about myself whereas he has told me NOTHING. Let this be a warning to all of you who think it's daring to just meet up with someone you don't know. Yes it's possible for this to happen even when you've taken time to get to know someone but less likely as their refusal to talk about themselves would be a red flag. ALWAYS make sure to learn about them and make sure what they tell you is verifiable.I made horrible mistakes and now i'm paying for it. Don't make the same mistakes i did, it's not worth it.
 
Phoenix
 
UPDATE: He has now threatened me physical harm, i have therefore dialled 911 and filed a report.

Now... I am going to summerize the above as suscinctly as I can.

MP met a guy. In real time. WAY too soon. MP acknowledges this.

MP had fun. Just ask him (not MP)... (more on this later) He has the pictures to prove it. MP thinks this was a bad plan now.

MP fucks up deal. (willingly or not) He gets his feelers hurt. A bunch o' cussn and fussn later...

Takes responsibility for MP's portion of the situation, secures MP in mind and body, and looks to future, with consideration for those who believe "That can never happen to me," MP posts "Learn from my experience."

Now that every one is caught up. SHAME ON YOU MP.
You have been duly reprimanded. Glad to know you took like a woman. (the reprimand)

You have been properly advised (your whole life) about not taking candy/peckers from strangers.

Thank you for reminding us of the dangers of reality.

Wanna Candy Pecker?

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

It is indeed a pretty shitty situation when trust given is at the best misused and at the worst abused. Salute' lass for having the courage to post your experience and mistakes. if you have learned and helped a few people to learn then in one view you have balanced the books unless he tries any more crap and then he shoiuld be made to pay and pay hard.. Had a case in Perth Western Australia with a bloke who i used to night scuba dive with and catch cray-fish with who admittedly had been in trouble with the law. he was admitted into our Cpoven and then started to put pressure on several female members for sexual favours with the threat that he would out them and possivbly cost them their jobs for being pagan. (this was pre-antidiscrimination laws both State and Federal). One thing working against him was that he was/is superstitious so it was easy to work on him. Through my own connections i read his police record and found that he had five times beed charged with rape but each time it wsas dismissed because his sons or others had terrified the victims into silence. We did two thi ngs we for mally notified every anti Rape group and the Womens' groups abouyt him giving his name phone number and address toggether with his car details so he could be spotted anywhere he went. "magically" everytime he went to the stors a sticker wouls appear on the passanger's side door and boot (trunk) of the car stating "The Driver Of This Car Is A Rapist!". .Naturally, he blaimed me and made the mistake of threateng violenve against my then wife.. he doesn't scuba dive anymore as it appeads he had a malfunction with his tank which acted like a torpedo pon night on a dive....

If you can get his details lass shame the bastard..

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)


"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)

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ORIGINAL: ThinkingKitten

MP, after reading all this, you should have asked for your sanity back by FedEx Express, guaranteed by 8 am the next morning. (Not that I had it, I was just asking....)

Glad you're OK, in as much as one can be OK after that kind of experience. You'be been given the opportunity to NOT make those same mistakes again.

Edited for clarity.

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ORIGINAL: MistresssAria

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ORIGINAL: MontrealPhoenix

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ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

IF he really does display your pictures at your workplace, play the victim role, claiming that you were attacked, raped, abused, etc.  ( choke out a few tears & sobs at this point ) and go on about how this has brought it all back again ( sob deeply ).
Or, get a t-shirt printed up with something mentioning your being a dumb slut ( I am not saying you are a dumb slut ) to remind you of what YOU allowed to happen.

All the best to you.  

Well given the fact that 2 weeks have passed since this happened i very much doubt he will follow through with his threats. The fact that i work in a very busy hospital would make it virtually impossible anyway.
 
I have never, nor do i now dispute that i let this happen. I'm just hoping to prevent it from happening to someone else...

Thank you for sharing and for having the courage to do so!  And remember, hospitals have lots of sharp & pointy things....go for the jugular!

You know, it's not terribly hard to find a computer hacker to get into his e-mail!!!  *I'll stop with that part there*.

Another thing to watch for - even in a pretty public situation of people who, say, were to meet up at a private BDSM club - it would appear safe, you're around people..........but people can FOLLOW YOU HOME.  Watch for that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Maya2001

a heated email/phone exchange occured  which resulted in an angry argument ,  and in which more than likely empty  threats were made...... if the police arrested everyone that ever uttered a threat in anger , a good 40% or more of the population would be sitting in jail right now


This is my interpretations of your events.....

the beating was consentual as you stated and you then played a couple more times afterward according to what is written here so your play session were not acts of abuse as the emails you sent after  makes it sound like you still wanted an ongoing relationship with him...... which means the play sessions are not the root really of the problem .. I am hoping I am correct so far...

so it appears that all this stems  over whatever you wrote in  the email you sent after the third play session which he somehow  viewed as being disrespectful????    which resulted in him yelling at you..... so it appears that there was no physical abuse or harm done to you, so  based on the way I am reading your account  this  actually boils down  to a verbal fight between the 2 of you. where threats are being tossed  around out of  anger that was generated  from the  quarrel the 2 of you had with regards to the email you sent him ....which is why the police are doing nothing because...  they cannot confirm that the threats are actually real  or simply words spoken in anger or as  immaturity, and reading your journal  I don't really get the impression  that you had sat back and just meekly  took all the words yelling that was dished out at you in utter silence, I get the impression you were dishing and yelling  out your own slew of angry words ....  as I picture you as being quite feisty when riled up over something. 


You may correct me   MP   if  I am somehow mis interpreting  the facts that you described,