RE: Learn from my experience

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Learn from my experience

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Learn from my experience

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Learn from my experience - 3/24/2008 4:06:50 PM

MontrealPhoenix

Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyslilpookie

Well I have to admit I have been in a similar situation before. You should of been very cautious I would never play with someone I just met. As for the pictures we all make mistakes it is best to just learn from them. I would also never tell anyone about myself until they have told me about them first. It would help you if you could get a hold of those photos and deleat them some how. Anyways best of luck to you.

Well what i SHOULD have done is neither here nor there...what's done is done. As for now, there are precious few on this site who know so much as my real name and even then it's only my first name. I am very careful about what info i give out and to whom...

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267

(in reply to Daddyslilpookie)

Post #: 21

RE: Learn from my experience - 3/24/2008 5:00:48 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

thanks for the object lesson. I did the same thing and met my Sir - but if something happened to him, i would never do the same thing again.

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)

Post #: 22

RE: Learn from my experience - 3/24/2008 5:18:38 PM

MontrealPhoenix

Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

thanks for the object lesson. I did the same thing and met my Sir - but if something happened to him, i would never do the same thing again.

I consider myself lucky that i didn't have something worse happen to me. I could have been raped and/or murdered and noone would have had a clue who did it. If i keep even one person from going through what i did - or worse, it will have been worth it.

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 23

RE: Learn from my experience - 3/24/2008 5:25:12 PM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

I'd just like to offer you my deepest sympathy and commiserations.

I don't want to offer you advice or tell you what you should have done, because you've probably been doing that and it's been going over and over in your head ever since it happened.

Don't you think it's funny all these people telling you 'You should have..' or 'Why didn't you ..?' as if it could never happen to them?

Well yes, it's happened to me.. but unlike you I never got to meet the person.

I was in Warsaw, Poland at the time, and passed by an Internet cafe just to check my e-mail, as you would. And yes, I logged into a BDSM chatroom and there I got chatting to a Domme. We swapped photos, and even exchanged cellphone numbers. She suggested that we meet. Okay, where? She invited me to her place.. in Szklarska Poreba, where she apparently had a house.

Now Warsaw lies in the east of Poland, a couple of hours away from the eastern border with Belarus. Szklarska Poreba is almost literally in the south western tip of Poland, very near the border with the Czech Republic and Germany. 'Distance no object' thinks Stella, agreeing to take the next train down to see her. She agreed to text me her address, and I would text her when I was on the train from then nearest large town, Jelenia Gora, and on my way to Szklarska Poreba.

I took the night train from Warsaw to Jelenia Gora, 14 hours. I then had a further three hours on a local stopping train. I sent her a text as soon as I got on the train. I didn't receive a text back, but I assumed that she was probably still sleeping.

Guess what? No Domme waiting for me in Szklarska Poreba. It took me some time to work out, but the address didn't exist either. The cellphone number belonged to this woman in Suwalki, in the far north eastern corner of Poland.

Worse than that, the return journey was of course three hours by local train and another 14 hours back to Warsaw. I had a twelve hour wait for the next train.

Guess who was feeling very foolish.

_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)

Post #: 24

RE: Learn from my experience - 3/24/2008 5:31:25 PM

lighthearted

Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

Don't you think it's funny all these people telling you 'You should have..' or 'Why didn't you ..?' as if it could never happen to them?

we've all done things we regret, and it's just by luck we don't end up with the misfortune the OP did...my sympathies, and I hope anyone who considers this scenario even remotely is deterred by your stories.

_____________________________

"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to stella41b)

Post #: 25

RE: Learn from my experience - 3/24/2008 5:41:32 PM

MontrealPhoenix

Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

I'd just like to offer you my deepest sympathy and commiserations.

I don't want to offer you advice or tell you what you should have done, because you've probably been doing that and it's been going over and over in your head ever since it happened.

Don't you think it's funny all these people telling you 'You should have..' or 'Why didn't you ..?' as if it could never happen to them?

Well yes, it's happened to me.. but unlike you I never got to meet the person.

I was in Warsaw, Poland at the time, and passed by an Internet cafe just to check my e-mail, as you would. And yes, I logged into a BDSM chatroom and there I got chatting to a Domme. We swapped photos, and even exchanged cellphone numbers. She suggested that we meet. Okay, where? She invited me to her place.. in Szklarska Poreba, where she apparently had a house.

Now Warsaw lies in the east of Poland, a couple of hours away from the eastern border with Belarus. Szklarska Poreba is almost literally in the south western tip of Poland, very near the border with the Czech Republic and Germany. 'Distance no object' thinks Stella, agreeing to take the next train down to see her. She agreed to text me her address, and I would text her when I was on the train from then nearest large town, Jelenia Gora, and on my way to Szklarska Poreba.

I took the night train from Warsaw to Jelenia Gora, 14 hours. I then had a further three hours on a local stopping train. I sent her a text as soon as I got on the train. I didn't receive a text back, but I assumed that she was probably still sleeping.

Guess what? No Domme waiting for me in Szklarska Poreba. It took me some time to work out, but the address didn't exist either. The cellphone number belonged to this woman in Suwalki, in the far north eastern corner of Poland.

Worse than that, the return journey was of course three hours by local train and another 14 hours back to Warsaw. I had a twelve hour wait for the next train.

Guess who was feeling very foolish.

Oh dear! I really have to question these people who get their jollies doing stuff like that. What could she possibly have gained from that? I'm not going to bother with "should have" or any of that bollocks, because the fact is you didn't, and it's long past. Yes hindsight is 20/20 but the fact is at the time neither of us did.

The thing is to learn from the experience and to not repeat it, which i trust neither of us will.

hugs and mushy stuff,

Phoenix

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267

(in reply to stella41b)

Post #: 26

RE: Learn from my experience - 3/24/2008 5:48:36 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

A lot of guys are great, until you don't give them what they want. Has this sort of thing happened before? What do you think your radar didn't pick up? I'm not saying slow and easy is always the way to go, but obviously just a few days isn't enough to know someones whole personality.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 27

RE: Learn from my experience - 3/24/2008 6:01:48 PM

MontrealPhoenix

Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

A lot of guys are great, until you don't give them what they want. Has this sort of thing happened before? What do you think your radar didn't pick up? I'm not saying slow and easy is always the way to go, but obviously just a few days isn't enough to know someones whole personality.

I'm happy to say that this is the one and only time this has happened to me. Nor will it happen again if i can avoid it. From now on slow(er) is how it's going to be.

Not as an excuse but man he's a charmer, at least, as you say, until he didn't get what he wanted. Really good with at distractions too. Every time i asked him about himself, he had a really good way of avoiding the question no matter how many times i asked it.

Well, i do feel lucky that nothing worse happened. I might not be so lucky next time so there will be no next time.

Phoenix

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 28

RE: Learn from my experience - 3/24/2008 6:04:04 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

There's a fair bit of truth to the proverb that you don't really know someone or the strength of your relationship until you've had a serious knock down drag out fight with them.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)

Post #: 29

RE: Learn from my experience - 3/24/2008 6:11:04 PM

MontrealPhoenix

Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

There's a fair bit of truth to the proverb that you don't really know someone or the strength of your relationship until you've had a serious knock down drag out fight with them.

Absolutely! I think it's not when things are going well but when they aren't and you've had the most horrific fight - but you stay together - you know it's going to last.

The fact is that relationships take work and the vast majority of people aren't willing to put in the effort necessary to keep one going.

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 30

RE: Learn from my experience - 3/24/2008 6:22:53 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

*hugs* MP.... and thank you for posting this.. I too hope that it reaches out to those who may need the warning....

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 31

RE: Learn from my experience - 3/24/2008 6:33:31 PM

MontrealPhoenix

Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

*hugs* MP.... and thank you for posting this.. I too hope that it reaches out to those who may need the warning....

Yanno, Greedy, you're really spoiling me with all these hugs *grins*. Yeah warning ppl is the whole point of this thread. Hopefully those who think it's daring and fun to do what i did won't do it.

hugs and mushy stuff (plus a slight grope),

Phoenix

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 32

RE: Learn from my experience - 3/24/2008 6:35:44 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

It is indeed a pretty shitty situation when trust given is at the best misused and at the worst abused. Salute' lass for having the courage to post your experience and mistakes. if you have learned and helped a few people to learn then in one view you have balanced the books unless he tries any more crap and then he shoiuld be made to pay and pay hard.. Had a case in Perth Western Australia with a bloke who i used to night scuba dive with and catch cray-fish with who admittedly had been in trouble with the law. he was admitted into our Cpoven and then started to put pressure on several female members for sexual favours with the threat that he would out them and possivbly cost them their jobs for being pagan. (this was pre-antidiscrimination laws both State and Federal). One thing working against him was that he was/is superstitious so it was easy to work on him. Through my own connections i read his police record and found that he had five times beed charged with rape but each time it wsas dismissed because his sons or others had terrified the victims into silence. We did two thi ngs we for mally notified every anti Rape group and the Womens' groups abouyt him giving his name phone number and address toggether with his car details so he could be spotted anywhere he went. "magically" everytime he went to the stors a sticker wouls appear on the passanger's side door and boot (trunk) of the car stating "The Driver Of This Car Is A Rapist!". .Naturally, he blaimed me and made the mistake of threateng violenve against my then wife.. he doesn't scuba dive anymore as it appeads he had a malfunction with his tank which acted like a torpedo pon night on a dive....

If you can get his details lass shame the bastard..

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)

Post #: 33

RE: Learn from my experience - 3/24/2008 6:38:57 PM

ThinkingKitten

Posts: 447
Joined: 6/15/2006
From: Ontari-ari-o
Status: offline

MP, after reading all this, you should have asked for your sanity back by FedEx Express, guaranteed by 8 am the next morning. (Not that I had it, I was just asking....)

Glad you're OK, in as much as one can be OK after that kind of experience. You'be been given the opportunity to NOT make those same mistakes again.

Edited for clarity.

< Message edited by ThinkingKitten -- 3/24/2008 6:39:48 PM >

_____________________________

Thinking Kitten

If you can't stand the heat... tell the chef to get out of the kitchen.

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)

Post #: 34

RE: Learn from my experience - 3/24/2008 6:48:10 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MontrealPhoenix

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

*hugs* MP.... and thank you for posting this.. I too hope that it reaches out to those who may need the warning....

Yanno, Greedy, you're really spoiling me with all these hugs *grins*. Yeah warning ppl is the whole point of this thread. Hopefully those who think it's daring and fun to do what i did won't do it.

hugs and mushy stuff (plus a slight grope),

Phoenix

hehe... I give a hug and get a grope... how can this be bad?? LOL

Any newbies reading this thread, take to heart what MP and Stella posted (great post BTW, Stella *hug* sorry that happened).

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)

Post #: 35

RE: Learn from my experience - 3/24/2008 6:51:54 PM

MontrealPhoenix

Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quote:

ORIGINAL: MontrealPhoenix

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

*hugs* MP.... and thank you for posting this.. I too hope that it reaches out to those who may need the warning....

Yanno, Greedy, you're really spoiling me with all these hugs *grins*. Yeah warning ppl is the whole point of this thread. Hopefully those who think it's daring and fun to do what i did won't do it.

hugs and mushy stuff (plus a slight grope),

Phoenix

hehe... I give a hug and get a grope... how can this be bad?? LOL

Any newbies reading this thread, take to heart what MP and Stella posted (great post BTW, Stella *hug* sorry that happened).

*grins* i always try to give better than i receive...and yes great post Stella

hugs and mushy stuff,

Phoenix

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 36

RE: Learn from my experience - 3/24/2008 6:53:30 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

You need to talk to your local police department about what to do about this-and site staff. His isp billing address can be traced back through collarme-and he can be dealt with-this is criminal behavior.

They will also know if he has a police record-and he may be in trouble for doing this-if so.

For any guys reading this who think you can pull this kind of shit-you aren't as safe and anonymous as you think you are.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)

Post #: 37

RE: Learn from my experience - 3/24/2008 6:58:32 PM

MontrealPhoenix

Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

You need to talk to your local police department about what to do about this-and site staff. His isp billing address can be traced back through collarme-and he can be dealt with-this is criminal behavior.

They will also know if he has a police record-and he may be in trouble for doing this-if so.

For any guys reading this who think you can pull this kind of shit-you aren't as safe and anonymous as you think you are.

I did talk to the police, believe it or not they won't/can't do anything until he does. In other words he must actually be attacking me before they will do anything.

I very much doubt that the site staff will do anything as it was literally all verbal. He was very clever not to write anything that could be used as proof. They will hardly trace his ISP addie simply because i tell them what he did.

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 38

RE: Learn from my experience - 3/24/2008 7:09:01 PM

angelbluewingsz

Posts: 324
Joined: 10/10/2004
Status: offline

Thank you very much for the warning- we all live and learn but sometimes it is great to be able to learn from others mistakes before we have been subject to that particular oops- I have however done the real dumb, pick up a cute hitch hiker which I am now told I will no longer be doing... nothing happened but I am reminded almost daily now that something COULD have...

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)

Post #: 39

RE: Learn from my experience - 3/24/2008 7:31:31 PM

dcnovice

Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline

<fast reply>

As a newbie, I very much appreciated that cautionary tale.

I'm sorry, though, for MP's having to go through this experience.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to angelbluewingsz)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Learn from my experience

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094