RE: Freedom

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Freedom

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Freedom

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Freedom - 3/13/2008 6:25:28 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Listen to Chelle. She is really smart.

Leatherist is too, but yanno, I just like girls better. :)

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Leatherist)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Freedom - 3/13/2008 6:43:17 AM

joy2u

Posts: 89
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline

Freedom is overrated, in my opinion. More accurate, the concept of freedom is overrated, since i don't believe very many people are truly free. Pretty much everyone has to answer to someone and is accountable to someone else and must live under the constraints placed on them by someone else, be it their employer or the government or a spouse or the electorate. Actually, most of us are answerable to and living under the constraints of more than one of these entities. Most of us, accept our limited freedom in this life, because we understand that it's just the price we pay for living in a society and enjoying the benefits available to us by doing so. Maybe a hermit, living alone in a cave or deep in the woods, is free, but not anyone living in a community. Besides, freedom, in and of itself, isn't necessarily anything noble. There are plenty of people who consider themselves to be free, who don't do anything noble with their lives. In fact, many people, who think of them as being free to do what they want, choose to live their lives doing things that are destructive to themself and to others. Also, to me, there is nothing inherently noble about being a slave. Slave, after all, is a very generic term and is most often (outside of the BDSM world) used to describe people who have no choice over what they do or how they live and they are used strictly for the profit of someone they have no loyalty to and no respect for and, when the cost of their upkeep outweighs their profitability, they are disposed of, without any concern for what might become of them. Where's the nobility in that? What is noble, in my view, is finding your inner True North and living by it, no matter what life throws at you and no matter what other people do or don't do and no matter which people come into or out of your life. Your True North is the core values that make you who you are and that, when you are living a life that allows you to keep those core values in tact, makes you feel complete and at peace with yourself. Sadly, "Facing freedom" sounds almost like a punishment, to me. Any way, this is just how i look at these ideas of freedom and slavery and nobility. This may not apply to anyone else. Hopefully, Prinsexx, the freedom you are facing, is something that is a positive change for you. Best wishes for you in your journey. joyOwned servant of Master David

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

I am facing freedom.
Is there anyone else who knows how this feels?

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Freedom - 3/13/2008 6:58:06 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

In the Op..does freedom equal no partner..or just no Dom(me) ?

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to Leatherist)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Freedom - 3/13/2008 8:30:15 AM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

Its been my observation that lots of people want freedom, lots of people talk about freedom, lots of people hail the merits of freedom, lots of people peddle freedom, lots of people spout canned idealism regarding freedom...

Very few people seem to really know what it is.

But lots of people happily sell freedom for some security and peace of mind.

For the vast majority of people, freedom is simply freedom from the fears that plague their minds. For that they'd happily sell their soul, their body, their mind, their children, their future, their heritage, and anything else they can hock.

So you want freedom do you... becareful what you wish for.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Freedom - 3/13/2008 8:35:23 AM

TracyTaken

Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

Freedom is overrated, in my opinion. More accurate, the concept of freedom is overrated, since i don't believe very many people are truly free.

I'm remembering the lyrics of Me and Bobby McGee: "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose."

But if leaving a relationship feels like freedom, there probably wasn't anything left to lose in leaving.

(in reply to joy2u)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Freedom - 3/13/2008 9:13:04 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

I've missed the old Prinsexx. Nice to see you back.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to TracyTaken)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Freedom - 3/14/2008 5:32:32 PM

manwholuvs

Posts: 30
Joined: 1/1/2008
Status: offline

Greetings candisa

I always enjoy reading your comments here. Respect is so crucial and goes both ways as you well know. It is part of the foundation upon which anything more has to be based on and without it the relationship cannot survive or grow. I cannot imagine someone being ashamed of one in their life either but then that goes back to the lack of respect I am sure.

_____________________________

Respectfully
Manwholuvs

(in reply to candisa)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: Freedom - 3/14/2008 5:37:00 PM

Sunnyfey

Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline

I cant say I've been in your shoes but...I can offer support atleast *big hugs* You know we're here for you

(in reply to Leatherist)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: Freedom - 3/14/2008 6:16:05 PM

msterfixer

Posts: 78
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline

To face your freedom is a growing process that we all must go through, perhaps you shall never submit again, maybe you shall dominate, Or finally realize that submission is absolute power.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: Freedom - 3/14/2008 9:59:52 PM

shigglyboom

Posts: 110
Joined: 10/10/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

There is a point at which slavery is noble. And yet there is a point at which to enslave oneself unto lies becomes self-destructive.There is a point where to be used as bait is a divine service meant to please a master, yet to be pimped out is foolish.There is a point at which, during the realisation that there is no power exchange, when indeed it is the slave that is teaching their master what mastery means: that is the point at which freedom becomes paramount and the need to break the shackles is all that matters.Others love me and are not afraid to say so and i could not belong to a master who was ashamed of that which he collared.
I am facing freedom.
Is there anyone else who knows how this feels?

Prinsexx,

It's a submissive's dilemma when freedom's not what you want but it's better than the other choice. I've been there.

When you're free, your choice becomes to either cherish your freedom or suffer it.
I recommend aiming for the former.

shig

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: Freedom - 3/15/2008 5:57:46 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

Being property isnt noble, but sacrificing your happiness to be property isnt nobel either. Any relationship that is completely one sided, regardless of which side is the one with all the airtime, is going to eventually fall apart.
Collaring someone you are ashamed to claim makes no sense to me. I am proud of both my boys, I cant imagine not wanting to show off property.
Being free is better than being stuck with the wrong one. If the Dominant you are with does not inspire you to be a better submissive for them, and for yourself, then you are with the wrong person.

My 2 cents
DV

Yes well i was having flashbacks today. He text to say I had no rights to dump him and no rights to release myself and that if i did then I had never been his slave anyway. That's a double bind if ever I heard one. So I called him and he finally admitted to having 'about 5' of us....and finally i knew that i had been right deep deep down all along. It's not that I even care about there being five, as I am poly and it would have been great. But the point is he was keeping us all in isolation and playing one off against another.

He was demanding more and more impossible things of me, actually demeaning me, and I knew the difference between demeaning and 'humiliation'. I was teaching him more and more about how to master me rather than the mastery coming from him. I cried on the phone and said that i cannot respect a liar.

Above all i think that that was the empath in me coming out.
I deserve the truth from a master, indeed that is really what any one of my mindset deserves.

I really know how to serve to the core of my being and could not do so out of insincerity. I had felt a bit of a fool i suppose in as much as he conned me and pimped me and used me as bait until a friend (a Dominant) reminded me that being good bait isn't such a bad thing and that made me smile indeed.
He is no longer in my head. The light of the love I gave him has gone out but this time i feel safe in my own truth and no sense of loss or co-dependency.

SO: onward.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Profile

Post #: 31

RE: Freedom - 3/15/2008 6:14:03 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

In the Op..does freedom equal no partner..or just no Dom(me) ?

My freedom means i have no partner and no master now.
All i wanted was the truth and I phoned him, He is in Spain as there had been a Spanish answering service on his phone. He finally admitted there are 'at least five of us'....did he forget one or two???....but since I am poly this is an insult to me as he was playing one off against the other in terms of pimping off us.

He was giving me ever increasing difficulties of assignments....giving less and less and openly confessing to denying me as a strategy. Anyway I'm not going to let this be a dirty washing outing....but the truth is the truth is the truth. He can troll for himself as I have changed our alt profile to single woman wanting to be a third.

i think at one point he thought he could use the Master trump card just to get me other's fort him to fuck. let him find his own. I'm a beautiful slave, not into making myself redundant and will make someone realise the quality of who and what I am.
.

(in reply to Justme696)

Profile

Post #: 32

RE: Freedom - 3/15/2008 6:20:21 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I dunno Prinsexx, how many times have you felt that freedom in the past six months, only to turn around and return to slavery, with each turn of the coin talking about how "this" is where it's at and where you need to be?

Dear LA
I have said it twice and yes have gone back. But this time it is quite different. i went back because I believed him when he said i was a good slave, good girl, perfect slave etc etc and then he kept giving me ever increasingly difficult assignments that were to the detriment of my health and state of mind.
He was using denial as a strategy against me so much so that to ne honest being free has made no difference as he was giving me nothing anyway. If I am honest he was simply taking and PIMPING OFF ME SO IN FACT MY FREEDOM IS A GIFT I GIVE TO MYSELF.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 33

RE: Freedom - 3/15/2008 6:22:02 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

I'm a beautiful slave, not into making myself redundant and will make someone realise the quality of who and what I am.

Quoted for truth, and wisdom. Best of luck to you.

_____________________________

HBIC

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Profile

Post #: 34

RE: Freedom - 3/15/2008 6:33:31 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

i'm gonna give you some advice that has been given to me many times and i truly hope you take it to heart prinny....

PUT DOWN THE BAT....

you hurt enough...let yourself heal...and don't go jumping into another relationship, and even if he comes back, it ended, it's over, don't revisit this pain...ex's are ex's for a reason...and perhaps with healing and growth from both sides it may work, but more often than not, it will not work...sooooo...like i have said over and over, get ok with being good with just you...talk to yourself like you're talking to a client or a friend or anyone else...if you don't like what you're getting because of what you're doing...STOP IT...and change something...

*hugs*
chelle

I hear you. what I would say to a client is that there is a defining moment, a pivotal point, a moment in time, a psychological moment when one steps out of a relationship (be it vanilla or bdsm). I stepped out of it fully today and summoned my power and phoned him. I finally got the truth.
He didin't value all that I had to give, as I gave all that I had to give. It wasn't enough and he admitted to there being at least five of us....(i think he may have forgotten perhaps how many?)
Anyway in that moment i realised i was completely outside of the dynamic, that I was being ab-used, because my devotion was in the way of my living and running my life in a sane manner.
What would I say to a client: realise that pivotal moment and do whatever is needed to communicate assertively. I have.
Relationships never end...I still 'love' him but then I am of that love generation......but he placed absolutely no value on my service whatsoever. So what was the point? Anybody elses' service would have done. And so it will have to as i have removed my consent.

No no bat chelle.....I understand what you are saying and i know you have always been there to support me and trying to understand. Fuck knows I am trying to understand myself.
Smiles........i feel as if i got my power back.

(in reply to chellekitty)

Profile

Post #: 35

RE: Freedom - 3/16/2008 1:38:17 AM

MisterP61

Posts: 1345
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

Being property isnt noble, but sacrificing your happiness to be property isnt nobel either. Any relationship that is completely one sided, regardless of which side is the one with all the airtime, is going to eventually fall apart.
Collaring someone you are ashamed to claim makes no sense to me. I am proud of both my boys, I cant imagine not wanting to show off property.
Being free is better than being stuck with the wrong one. If the Dominant you are with does not inspire you to be a better submissive for them, and for yourself, then you are with the wrong person.

My 2 cents
DV

DV.... both You and LadyPact, My SO by the way, have taught Me a whole lot as a new "Dom" to the lifestyle. I do not post much but have read so many of Yours and Hers advice, experience and wisdoms. I completely agree with You here. Why collar one whom You can not be proud of.

I would also like to say to the op..... every submissive in My opinion teaches their Dominant/Master/Mistress. After all How can I know what it is that you expect, need, desire out of the dynamic if you do not tell Me? If you don't teach Me your limits how can I know when I am pushing them or have gone too far?... There are many more examples, but I hope you see what I am saying. I also do wish you the best. The right "One" will show you who He is one day.

MP

< Message edited by MisterP61 -- 3/16/2008 1:40:26 AM >

_____________________________

Proudly married to the "Diva of Destruction" LadyPact
Though the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore - Of Monsters and Men
What is the maximum effective range of an excuse? Zero meters!

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Profile

Post #: 36

RE: Freedom - 3/16/2008 1:51:46 AM

charmdpetKeira

Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

but he placed absolutely no value on my service whatsoever.

Are you sure this is true, or could it be that he just didn’t put as much value on it as you would have liked, or in the manner you would have liked?

Just a thought.

My best,

k

_____________________________

Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Profile

Post #: 37

RE: Freedom - 3/16/2008 6:19:37 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: charmdpetKeira

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

but he placed absolutely no value on my service whatsoever.

Are you sure this is true, or could it be that he just didn’t put as much value on it as you would have liked, or in the manner you would have liked?

Just a thought.

My best,

k

ahh well it is a very very good point indeed. The answer is: all I have to go on is my experience of the value he put on it. And I was forever trying to second guess what value he placed on it, as if somehow i was trying to get in his head, looking for signs of acknowledgment, what he disliked, what he approved of, when i had finished and what else to begin.
One example: sexual. Oral sex on demand and there was incresingly less by return until there was no touch, no after care, no imtimacy. So I began to question why and if I had a right to it, if there shouldn't or wouldn't be some reciprocity.
But at the heart of it because there was none, and I don't know intellectually if was more or less than I had expected, I have just been increasingly triggered and felt abandoned and lonely and cut off and isolated and then afraid that if I made a move for any comfort i would be rejected and pushed away.
I began to see myself through his eyes and assume I must ne worthless and unwanted.. And then I realised I simply felt useless and unwanted.
Does that make any sense?
Is that what servitude is? If it is then it is my concept of service which has shifted and I couldn't do more. It was impossible without neglect of myself entirely and my duties to my children and my need to work.

(in reply to charmdpetKeira)

Profile

Post #: 38

RE: Freedom - 3/17/2008 2:31:19 AM

charmdpetKeira

Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

Is that what servitude is?

No, it is called not loving yourself.

Bottom line; the relationship became harmful to you.

Acknowledge any valuable lessons; appreciate the unfavorable for what it is, nothing more, nothing less; accept it, and act responsibly for and towards yourself in light of your findings.

Remember, sometimes it takes some digging.

My best,

k

_____________________________

Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Profile

Post #: 39

RE: Freedom - 3/17/2008 3:19:09 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

Something awful has happened,
I do not want to say what BUT Master P whom I rel;easedmyself from is either lying or is telling the truth. In actuality my faith in him is so low that I cannot tell which reality is which.
On the one hand I want to make myself entiirely available to help him if it is the truth. If he is lying then it is very bad and will make me give uo all trust and hope in my own judgement.
I have no aswers either from my own theory or even answers in my heart to tell me which way to turn.
All I ask for is prayers or good wishes please and hopes for me that I am receiving the truth of the situation.
Stuck. In a bad bad place and stuck right now.

(in reply to charmdpetKeira)

Profile

Post #: 40