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masochism - 3/11/2008 1:18:35 PM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		hi

could people explain masochism -

my thing is that i dont enjoy pain, but i will submit to it.   i have read posts elsewhere saying pretty much the same thing - that it is the submission to it rather than the pain that gives them catharsis.

this must make me a masochist and yet i wouldnt say that i have ever tripped out on endorphins or sailed off into sub space, but then perhaps the level of pain i can endure wouldnt take me to those places anyway.

it is the potent ingredient of power exchange and having to submit to it that is the charge.

what i perceive as masochism is a very definite need and enjoyment of pain and that in some instances it doesnt even register as pain after a while.

just trying to understand myself better.

lally
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RE: masochism - 3/11/2008 1:21:18 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Masochism is enjoying pain you can be a masochist and not a sub, girlie is a HUGE masochist really really gets off on it, its due to the endorphins and such like, I am more like you in that I get off submitting to it because I know it brings Sir pleasure, but as im a bit of a sadist (in the BDSM way) I can kinda see the mentality, I have had full on giggling fits after making girlie yelp, god knows why

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RE: masochism - 3/11/2008 1:26:03 PM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline 		Masochism...
  1. The deriving of sexual gratification, or the tendency to derive sexual gratification, from being physically or emotionally abused.
  2. The deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from being humiliated or mistreated, either by another or by oneself.
  3. A willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences.


If pain gets you off (so to speak) you are a masochist.  If you accept the pain solely to please your Dominant, then you are not a masochist.

Not all masochists are submissives, nor or all submissives masochists. 

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RE: masochism - 3/11/2008 1:37:30 PM   
Hiswifeon7707


Posts: 23
Joined: 3/10/2008
Status: offline 		the difficulty is the initial infliction. my experience is, i hate the pain, at first but when i can push through it, i am taken to a higher level of orgasm then i find the more pain i get, the more i crave.

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RE: masochism - 3/11/2008 2:16:35 PM   
SubbieOnWheels


Posts: 590
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline 		~fr~

I get aroused at the very thought of a flogging or tit torture. Then when it starts I think, "What am I doing here?" Then the pain continues, and the endorphins kick in, and arousal begins, and I am away on a trip of monumental proportions, with multiple orgasms.

There is a small portion of my psyche that is enjoying the idea of submitting to the power of the Dominant, and of bringing him pleasure through my pain, but the majority of me is singing with the pain itself.

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RE: masochism - 3/11/2008 2:17:04 PM   
Urdok


Posts: 29
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline
This might just be baseless babbling, but I think my masochism stems in part from a desire for a complete sensory experience. It brings a feeling of balance. We spend so much time looking to make things as comfortable as possible that we deny ourselves a host of sensation, I think to our general loss. Masochism isn't purely or even predominately a sexual thing for me- I enjoy the feeling of burning muscles after a hard workout or taking a hit in martial arts or sports in a very similar way to how I enjoy pain in an erotic situation.

I just love it. It makes me feel alive and demands I pay attention to my body in ways I otherwise would never do. It's a beautiful experience that builds then crescendos then fades, leaving a sense of exhilaration and triumph that you've made it through.

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RE: masochism - 3/11/2008 2:17:30 PM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		feck! i just typed a response and it vanished into the ether.

ill try again in a mo

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RE: masochism - 3/11/2008 2:23:22 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		As far as I've seen, one can divide masochists into two general camps in BDSM:

1.  Those who enjoy pain for the sake of the pain.
2.  Those who don't enjoy pain in and of itself, but enjoy the service aspect of it.
This isn't saying that there aren't people who do both.

The latter case- which it seems you are- is often referred to as a "service masochist", letting a sadist hurt them in order to serve that sadist.

I'd like to point out that there's plenty of ways you can be very submissive without being hurt.

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RE: masochism - 3/11/2008 2:59:08 PM   
whiteslavebitch


Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		I am a masochist. I enjoy "thuddy" types of pain, biting. but not "stingy" pain.

MasterK especially seems to enjoy doing "stingy" types of pain, so that I just have to work through to be able to tolerate it. If I get into subspace from "thuddy" pain, it makes the "stingy' pain much easier to handle.

I deal with the pain I get no personal enjoyment out of as a service to MasterK.

< Message edited by whiteslavebitch -- 3/11/2008 3:02:12 PM >

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RE: masochism - 3/11/2008 3:11:46 PM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		For some it purges them...cleanses, so to speak.
 
I don`t think I would worry to much if its not your *thing*....there are pleanty of other ways to be taken....*there*
 
Just to *endure* for someone gets real...old.

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RE: masochism - 3/11/2008 3:25:00 PM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		I'd like to point out that there's plenty of ways you can be very submissive without being hurt.

well, in a way, that was what made me post this post. 

why would i choose to submit to a Dominant that i know wishes to inflict pain when the sensation of pain is unpleasant to me.  since i do, with all the options open to me - i must surely be a masochist, except that i dont fit the necessary criteria.

it isnt the pain though, its the submission to something your Dominant wants.  its the power exchange expressed in a physical way.  yes theres bondage, humiliation, depravation and im sure lots of other things, but submission to pain is the hardest submission of all, for me.


lally

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RE: masochism - 3/11/2008 4:18:00 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		That doesn't make you a masochist at all, it makes you someone willing to bottom/submit to pain.  As I like to say- I like everything about pain play except the pain part.  I'm not a masochist, I'm just a submissive who will submit to pain.

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RE: masochism - 3/11/2008 5:35:50 PM   
Smoothicen


Posts: 17
Joined: 2/16/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lally3

hi

could people explain masochism -

my thing is that i dont enjoy pain, but i will submit to it.   i have read posts elsewhere saying pretty much the same thing - that it is the submission to it rather than the pain that gives them catharsis.

this must make me a masochist and yet i wouldnt say that i have ever tripped out on endorphins or sailed off into sub space, but then perhaps the level of pain i can endure wouldnt take me to those places anyway.

it is the potent ingredient of power exchange and having to submit to it that is the charge.

what i perceive as masochism is a very definite need and enjoyment of pain and that in some instances it doesnt even register as pain after a while.

just trying to understand myself better.

lally


Personally I wouldn't describe you as a masochist, just a good submissive. By definition, a masochist is someone who seeks pain for pain's own sake.

You said it correctly when you stated that it's the control that gets you going. For many in the D's lifestyle, it is this power exchange that is the most satisfying part of play.

My 2 cents

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RE: masochism - 3/11/2008 5:47:11 PM   
chiguy


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/9/2004
Status: offline
Most people I know would listen to you and then say "service sub", not "masochist". Masochists enjoy the pain, and you appear to enjoy the service.

But really, it's for you and your partner(s) to define. That's one of the great gifts of this little corner of the world: you get to name yourself for what you believe that you are, define terms as they are meaningful to you and take joy and meaning where others see pain and hardship.

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RE: masochism - 3/11/2008 5:59:09 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		I'm a submissive who likes a good flogging sting thud binding. and i am also a service submissive who enjoys doing for my M'Lady almost as much as a trip to subspace. all who experience pain will perceive it in a different way so it is never a set way to feel it, what works for you works for you. I'm still finding my limits pushed and stretched all to the pleasure of my M'Lady

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RE: masochism - 3/11/2008 6:01:07 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		Hmm.  I don't consider myself a masochist.  If it weren't my Dominant causing me pain, it wouldn't turn me on and I would see no point it.  Part of what turns me on so much when he hurts me is that I don't want him to hurt me.  And that is definitely the only thing I enjoy about pain play lol


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RE: masochism - 3/11/2008 7:23:09 PM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		Hmm.  I don't consider myself a masochist.  If it weren't my Dominant causing me pain, it wouldn't turn me on and I would see no point it.  Part of what turns me on so much when he hurts me is that I don't want him to hurt me.  And that is definitely the only thing I enjoy about pain play lol

yep, thats it exactly!

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RE: masochism - 3/12/2008 12:41:13 AM   
EmpressAsia


Posts: 4
Joined: 3/11/2008
Status: offline 		An friend introduced me to bdsm about seven years ago and wanted me to bottom...it wasn't my thing and so a few years ago I went with a friend to Paddles and found myself in the role as Top. I guess we sometimes need to explore.

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RE: masochism - 3/12/2008 3:19:01 AM   
edgepassion


Posts: 67
Joined: 2/20/2008
Status: offline 		I reckon I fall into the class that CuriousLord describes, "service masochist, letting a sadist hurt them in order to serve that sadist.”

If it turns her on it generally turns me on. 

And I seem to gravitate to Women who have embraced their sadistic side. My brain, for whatever reason, just perceives them to be more passionate.  And I’m definitely addicted to passion, adrenaline and when those endorphins kick in…..whew….   

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RE: masochism - 3/12/2008 4:32:35 AM   
JAS61


Posts: 14
Joined: 12/26/2006
Status: offline 		There are both physical and mental sides to the lifestyle and you are on the mental side. THat does not mean that there will not be pain in your life but your Dominant needs to intersperse what you need as well as what he needs to keep you both happy. I would make sure you would have a mental pain to deal with or a less than physical pain. For example you have bondage and restriction of motion or activity. That could satisfy your need for submission and his need to control. I am a control person. I will use pain to further that but not as a sole reason for the relationship. I will just come out of the blue and torture a sub with pain too. Now you say why do it that way. Well that way she is off balance and can not knowif I will do it or not to her and that makes the mental part so interesting. For example I have had a sub who hates me to use toothpaste on her. I will use it enough to make her aware that I will do it but all I have to do is say go get your TP and she will start to cry and to worry....I did not have to do anything she did it to herself. That does not mean I do not like to redden her up a bit or do what she Hates (thuddy types) but I try o intersperse it with things she likes too....

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