Bratty Submissives and the question Why (Full Version)

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hopelessfool -> Bratty Submissives and the question Why (3/6/2008 4:39:09 PM)

I often am called a brat, and have learned to find the term mostly endearing. My question is what do you consider being a bratty submisive, as well as do you find it acceptable. Do you lable her as a brat simply because she asks questions? Also do you get mad if your submissive asks you the ever apparently dreaded question why?

I apologize if this has been asked, but the search feature attempts to crash my browser every time, and its something that Ive been thinking about lately.




catize -> RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why (3/6/2008 4:55:36 PM)

Brats and SAMs have their place in some dynamics; there are certainly dominants who like it.  To my way of thinking it’s a justification for pain play or punishment play, a ‘are you dominant enough to make me submit’ scenario.  I don’t practice that but hey, if both parties enjoy it, why not? 



hopelessfool -> RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why (3/6/2008 5:00:23 PM)

I guess that would be one way to look at it, but Im not a "brat" to get punished. I'm considered a brat because I ask alot of questions, as well as want to know what the person Im with is thinking, or because at times I'm just silly do to being over sugared and such. 



DommeKimberly -> RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why (3/6/2008 5:05:10 PM)

I don't consider asking questions to be bratty.  I consider it curious and there is nothing wrong with that.  My brat knows just what buttons to push that won't get her punished so much as make the scene more intense...if that makes any sense at all.



hopelessfool -> RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why (3/6/2008 5:07:46 PM)

Thank You Kim, I understand completely, what some call curious, others call a brat. I have learned when to be cute, and when to be on my ever so best behavior, around everyone in my life. I learned the hard way, its not wise to tease someone when they are angry, it leads to a very red bottom.



CalifChick -> RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why (3/6/2008 5:14:02 PM)

In my book, a brat is someone who knows how to behave appropriately and chooses not to. This is not the same as sassy, or spirited.

Personally, I find it annoying when people ask what I'm thinking. It is intrusive; if I wanted them to know I would tell them. This is not the same as asking what I think about SOMETHING, or asking what's on  my mind; I'm speaking of someone who says "what are you thinking?" on a frequent basis. And the dreaded "why???".  My toddler is in the "why" stage and god forbid, if I was with an adult who did that, it would be a very short-lived relationship indeed.

But then, I can be cranky like that.

Cali



RedMagic1 -> RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why (3/6/2008 5:15:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick
But then, I can be cranky like that.

Why?



catize -> RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why (3/6/2008 5:18:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

I guess that would be one way to look at it, but Im not a "brat" to get punished. I'm considered a brat because I ask alot of questions, as well as want to know what the person Im with is thinking, or because at times I'm just silly do to being over sugared and such. 

 
I missed that part f your post, my apologies.  I don’t believe asking questions is bratty in certain contexts.  It is important to me to make sure I understand what is required so that I am able to get it right.  If he says ‘make me a drink’ I may ask for clarification about what kind of drink he wants but I would not ask ‘why?’




CalifChick -> RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why (3/6/2008 5:20:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Why?


Red, don't make bring out my inner Domme and go to town on yer ass. You wouldn't like it. I promise.

Damn bratty Doms. Think they're so cute.

Cali



bleusparkles -> RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why (3/6/2008 5:26:50 PM)

I think I get what you're saying, kitten ... I've done the same thing in Daddy/lil girl scenarios. Its fun and can be extremely funny but I've never been told it was bratty.



RedMagic1 -> RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why (3/6/2008 5:28:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick
Red, don't make bring out my inner Domme and go to town on yer ass. You wouldn't like it.

Why not?[sm=flying.gif]



CalifChick -> RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why (3/6/2008 5:29:46 PM)

[sm=boxer.gif][sm=crop.gif][sm=boxer.gif][sm=crop.gif][sm=boxer.gif]



hopelessfool -> RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why (3/6/2008 5:32:11 PM)

I tend to ask why more often then not. Why do you enjoy this activitiy above all else, to get inside of his head a bit, to better understand him, to better please him. If I see that look, on his face that say, Im in a somewhat angry mood, I want to be able to bring over his slippers and curl up at his feet and hum softly, if thats whats going to make him better feel at ease.

I always felt like asking why made it easier to cope with things I might have been uncomfortable to deal with. Because I said so, doesnt give me much insite. This is a treat to show off to my friends so make sure its enjoyable does.

In general Im called disrespectful/bratty for asking questions. I could see if I asked for an explination to the same situtation repeatedly, over and over. But not, what kind of cake would you like? Or what theme should it be decorated as?. ( Making a birthday cake with handcuffs for his mothers birthday, isnt exactly -shifty eyed- the best idea...)



domiguy -> RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why (3/6/2008 5:32:32 PM)

I consider a brat to be someone who acts rather "cunty."



SubbieOnWheels -> RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why (3/6/2008 5:35:11 PM)

IMO, a Dom who expects instant and unquestioning obedience from a sub is not being realistic. We are all adults, and one hopes thinking, intelligent adults. We have a right to learn some reason for our obedience.

But then I'm a SAM. I'm gonna question, and I'm gonna make up my own mind.



CalifChick -> RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why (3/6/2008 5:36:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

In general Im called disrespectful/bratty for asking questions. I could see if I asked for an explination to the same situtation repeatedly, over and over. But not, what kind of cake would you like? Or what theme should it be decorated as?. ( Making a birthday cake with handcuffs for his mothers birthday, isnt exactly -shifty eyed- the best idea...)


Then maybe it's your phrasing.  Instead of those questions, have you tried, "do you have a preference on the type of cake or a theme, or would you like me to just make it/buy it/whatever?"

After a while, you SHOULD have some sort of insight so that you aren't asking questions all of the time (unless that's what he likes, your kink is okay, blah blah blah). If you need to, make a notebook. Write down what his mother is allergic to, what her favorite cake flavor is, etc.

Cali



hopelessfool -> RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why (3/6/2008 5:52:56 PM)

Thank You for your insight Cali I often start a notebook after moving to a messenger espically If I get a good feeling about such a person. I then if the person doesnt pan out ask them if they would like my notes or what they would wish for me to do with such information.



Padriag -> RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why (3/6/2008 6:03:40 PM)

My definition of a "brat" is a submissive who tends towards willful disobedience, constantly pushed boundaries, needs to be "forced" or coerced into obedience frequently, etc.

Asking questions is not being bratty in my book.
Being playful is not being bratty in my book.
Asking "why" generally isn't a problem provided a) if on occasion I answer "because I said so" she is able to accept that and obey without further question, and b) her asking "why" doesn't start sounding like a bad Animaniacs cartoon with every statement or instruction being met with another "whyyyyy?"



hopelessfool -> RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why (3/6/2008 6:19:29 PM)

Ive always had the temptation do as such now and again Pad, but have only engaged in it with my younger 4 year old cousin. Its often funny to see him try to think of reasons, before the game is turned on me. Smart kid at times, Well Why is the sky blue? Because the T.V. said so.



kallisto -> RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why (3/6/2008 6:32:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

My definition of a "brat" is a submissive who tends towards willful disobedience, constantly pushed boundaries, needs to be "forced" or coerced into obedience frequently, etc.




I think that's a good definition.   I know I get like that sometimes (not frequently, but sometimes).  The "brattiness" can be brought on just by what is happening in my life at the time.   It's knowing that I'm being that way and wanting Him to get me out of it.  



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