quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

ORIGINAL: firmbutloving27

i want some opionions here on a dom and his sub.
some doms feel you have to be abusive to a sub to have her respect you. i diasagree and feel that you still can be firm and authoratative
when you need to and still love and pamper your sub as both are needed on a regular basis.
how do you feel about this

Let's baseline some terminology:  Abuse is destructive behavior that erodes a person's self-esteem.  Discipline, however harsh, builds a person's self esteem.

A dominant must respect his own authority enough to enforce it with the slave, or else the slave will not respect him.  That much is most assuredly true.  As such, yes, a dominant must discipline the slave as needed.

Abusing a slave fosters not respect but fear tinged with loathing.  Speaking for myself, I wish my slave to serve me joyously, not fearfully.

There are dominants who abuse their slaves.  Such dominants do not have my respect, nor do I imagine they have that of their slaves.

quote:

ORIGINAL: firmbutloving27

i want some opionions here on a dom and his sub.
some doms feel you have to be abusive to a sub to have her respect you. i diasagree and feel that you still can be firm and authoratative
when you need to and still love and pamper your sub as both are needed on a regular basis.
how do you feel about this