Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Percentages


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Percentages Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Percentages - 2/5/2008 7:24:03 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		 
To what degree do you expect a partner to submit?
 
To what degree are you able (or willing) to submit to a partner?
 
I realize this sort of thing is difficult to actually put into a percentage, unless the answer is zero, or one-hundred

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Percentages - 2/5/2008 7:32:49 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I expect him to attempt to submit 100%.  Mistress Military prevents that at times.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Percentages - 2/5/2008 7:37:09 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I expect him to attempt to submit 100%.  Mistress Military prevents that at times.


I wish there was an accurate way to quantify these things; I'd be curious to know at what point do people consider the relationship a failure or success, what point is acceptable.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Percentages - 2/5/2008 7:56:50 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level


I wish there was an accurate way to quantify these things; I'd be curious to know at what point do people consider the relationship a failure or success, what point is acceptable.


Actually, that's an easier question.

I consider My relationships a success.  I don't consider them perfect, but they are working relationships.  I think much marriage of six years qualifies.  My husband is very much the person that I intend to grow old with.  It's just something that I know.  He still tells people that he knew from the day he met Me that he wanted to marry Me.  We've been together ever since.

As for My sub, it was just one of those things that worked from the beginning.  When I first brought up the subject of possibly collaring him, he gave Me a very simple reply.  He told Me that he felt collared to Me already.  I thought about it, and realized how true that was.  I put My collar on him last November.

They both love Me, and the three of us are happy.  I see that as success.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Percentages - 2/5/2008 8:23:40 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		I suspect it is in direct corralation to that individual that you are Dominating or submitting to,as to how much or how little..Tempting..doing the politician dance..:0)

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Percentages - 2/5/2008 8:27:50 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I expect Fox to submit completely, 100%. I lead, he follows whether he is with me or not.
I only expect 40% submission from Angel. He is not the same sort of partner that Fox is, and I only expect him to be submissive when we are actually playing and not simply hanging around together.

I do not submit to a partner at all, unless I am too ill to do anything myself and have no choice. I have been in this position only once and hated every second of it.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Percentages - 2/5/2008 8:31:25 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

I suspect it is in direct corralation to that individual that you are Dominating or submitting to,as to how much or how little..Tempting..doing the politician dance..:0)


Holy Super Tuesday, Batman....

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Percentages - 2/5/2008 8:33:25 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

To what degree are you able (or willing) to submit to a partner?


lol... Good thing you know how difficult a question this is.

Part of that difficulty is because I recognize that there is a distinct difference between being willing and being able.  Each would most likely produce a separate answer.

I don't believe that the question would be answerable at all for me with regard to simply a partner as I firmly believe that I would not be quite the same submissive with every dominant.  But as I am with FirmhandKY, I might be able to take a guess solely with regard to him. 

I suspect that I am much more willing that I am able... perhaps as much as 90%.  I wish I could say 100%... it sounds so much more uber-subbish.    But in reality there is still a part of me that is held in reserve that I'm not sure could ever be given over fully.  It's my self-preservation and the part that looks out for my best interests.  While I trust Firm to have authority over me, that small percent keeps watch to make sure I don't lose myself completely.  As time goes by in our relationship, I'm sure that more and more of that remaining percent will be earned by him, but I suspect there'll always be a percentage of that percentage held back in self-defense.  Quite frankly, I'm not sure he would want it any other way.

As for being able, I honestly don't know.  It would be nice to say with certainty that I would be able to submit to him to the same degree that I am willing.  In reality I would guess that in some areas my submission will prove to be more of a challenge.  With just shy of two years together, our relationship is still very young and the future holds many more horizons for us than we've experienced so far. 

Perhaps that's a good thing... always having room to grow and things to look forward to. 

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Percentages - 2/5/2008 8:34:13 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

I expect Fox to submit completely, 100%. I lead, he follows whether he is with me or not.
I only expect 40% submission from Angel. He is not the same sort of partner that Fox is, and I only expect him to be submissive when we are actually playing and not simply hanging around together.

I do not submit to a partner at all, unless I am too ill to do anything myself and have no choice. I have been in this position only once and hated every second of it.

DV



Thanks for your answer, DV (and Tempting, and Lady Pact).

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Percentages - 2/5/2008 8:59:15 PM   
daddyncherry


Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		Since the onset of our relationship i have done my best to submit to him to degree that i thought was 100% or pretty damn near close to it...Then as time goes on i realize, "Wow, i didn't submit that part of me yet" and it goes into the bowl.....then i think surely i am 100% there, and then something else comes along and i think. "Wow! That too?" and okay, then it goes into the bowl.

Sometimes these are little things that end up amounting to alot of clarity. Such as, when i just thought i could decorate the livingroom in our new place, the same as the old one....thinking i was the girl, this task would fall on me..then i found out that he had only allowed me to have the things in the old place and didn't like them....i had a very hard time with this....and then i realized, that i had to give up my desire to decorate a home for him, until, and in only the way he wanted....This was a big thing for me (much bigger than it sounds)

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Percentages - 2/5/2008 9:01:54 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry

Since the onset of our relationship i have done my best to submit to him to degree that i thought was 100% or pretty damn near close to it...Then as time goes on i realize, "Wow, i didn't submit that part of me yet" and it goes into the bowl.....then i think surely i am 100% there, and then something else comes along and i think. "Wow! That too?" and okay, then it goes into the bowl.

Sometimes these are little things that end up amounting to alot of clarity. Such as, when i just thought i could decorate the livingroom in our new place, the same as the old one....thinking i was the girl, this task would fall on me..then i found out that he had only allowed me to have the things in the old place and didn't like them....i had a very hard time with this....and then i realized, that i had to give up my desire to decorate a home for him, until, and in only the way he wanted....This was a big thing for me (much bigger than it sounds)



That's understandable. Did it take long to give that desire up?

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to daddyncherry)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Percentages - 2/5/2008 9:10:19 PM   
daddyncherry


Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry

Since the onset of our relationship i have done my best to submit to him to degree that i thought was 100% or pretty damn near close to it...Then as time goes on i realize, "Wow, i didn't submit that part of me yet" and it goes into the bowl.....then i think surely i am 100% there, and then something else comes along and i think. "Wow! That too?" and okay, then it goes into the bowl.

Sometimes these are little things that end up amounting to alot of clarity. Such as, when i just thought i could decorate the livingroom in our new place, the same as the old one....thinking i was the girl, this task would fall on me..then i found out that he had only allowed me to have the things in the old place and didn't like them....i had a very hard time with this....and then i realized, that i had to give up my desire to decorate a home for him, until, and in only the way he wanted....This was a big thing for me (much bigger than it sounds)



That's understandable. Did it take long to give that desire up?


It took awhile for it to sink in....He doesnt usually spell things out for me, and allows me to come to the ideas on my own.....It took a few months of me being very sad about not being able to decorate, and finding that he didn't like all of the work i'd gone to in our pld place to consider him in each and every little detail i had done....Then one day it was like a lightening bolt! CLARITY.....Ahhhh HE controls THAT too! Then i was able to accept it much better. ....i always obey, it is just at what comfort level i do depends greatly on my understanding of the situation...he is not big on my understanding, as long as i do it...so i come to things painfully alot of times. ...

There was an essay by mirahunter on the brc site...about "So You Want to Be A Slave" and it had said all of this stuff about making your Masters surroundings pleasing....and i was thinking of that as i did my whole decorate thing....then i realized if HE didn't like it, then it was kind of pointless....and lord knows i wouldn't go to the trouble for just myself...so i gave it up. (i still sometimes revisit it and He has given me a room and a bathroom to decorate)


_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Percentages - 2/5/2008 9:14:13 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry

....i always obey, it is just at what comfort level i do depends greatly on my understanding of the situation...


That was very well said, cherry. It shows a lot of self-knowledge.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to daddyncherry)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Percentages - 2/5/2008 9:14:37 PM   
greyangelus


Posts: 192
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline
quote:


To what degree do you expect a partner to submit?


Wow, loaded question alert! .  My answer is, "I don't really know".   Why don't I know?  I 've never had a relationship to base an answer off of.  If your not looking at what I know know, but rather what I would like to have, the answer is 100% eventually <==note the bold.

Then again, my idea of what 100% is could and most likely is completely different than the person posting after me. Keep that in mind.

Real life considerations make starting off at 100% virtually impossible.  Depending on the person, starting might range from anywhere to zero (we like each other but haven't gotten comfortable enough with each other yet to begin the dynamic process) to maybe 10-15 (we hit it off with a bang but aside from a few simple going out rules, still finding our way there).  But after that, the percentage either grows to a 100%, or we realize it just isn't working for either of us and it goes all the way to zero.

Then again, my 100% isn't your 100%.


(in reply to daddyncherry)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Percentages - 2/5/2008 9:21:53 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

To what degree are you able (or willing) to submit to a partner?


lol... Good thing you know how difficult a question this is.

Part of that difficulty is because I recognize that there is a distinct difference between being willing and being able.  Each would most likely produce a separate answer.

I don't believe that the question would be answerable at all for me with regard to simply a partner as I firmly believe that I would not be quite the same submissive with every dominant.  But as I am with FirmhandKY, I might be able to take a guess solely with regard to him. 

I suspect that I am much more willing that I am able... perhaps as much as 90%.  I wish I could say 100%... it sounds so much more uber-subbish.    But in reality there is still a part of me that is held in reserve that I'm not sure could ever be given over fully.  It's my self-preservation and the part that looks out for my best interests.  While I trust Firm to have authority over me, that small percent keeps watch to make sure I don't lose myself completely.  As time goes by in our relationship, I'm sure that more and more of that remaining percent will be earned by him, but I suspect there'll always be a percentage of that percentage held back in self-defense.  Quite frankly, I'm not sure he would want it any other way.

As for being able, I honestly don't know.  It would be nice to say with certainty that I would be able to submit to him to the same degree that I am willing.  In reality I would guess that in some areas my submission will prove to be more of a challenge.  With just shy of two years together, our relationship is still very young and the future holds many more horizons for us than we've experienced so far. 

Perhaps that's a good thing... always having room to grow and things to look forward to. 



Wonderful answer, good lady.  Uber-subbish or not , I believe Kentucky has to be quite proud of you.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to TreasureKY)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Percentages - 2/5/2008 9:23:18 PM   
fairerthanshe


Posts: 3035
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings Level,

Interesting question.  Since meeting SJ last May and as our relationship has deepened over time, my desire to submit to him has steadily grown.  My goal is to submit 100%.  The reality is that I am not there yet and probably never will be.  There is always more to give or turn over. 

A girlfriend of mine and I have discussed this in the past.  We call it the 5% rule.  The 5% is that little part left over when you feel one of two things.  Either its the part you recognize that you really don't want to give up or its the part you are consciously working on giving up.  It doesn't matter that you have already given 95% of the part of you of which you are aware; what matters is that 5%.  So you work on it, and work on it, and then one day that 5% no longer exists - it's gone, it belongs to him.  And before you take your next breath, there is something new to inhabit the 5%.  It's a repeating pattern.

When SJ and I discuss this particular issue, he will ask me what I am working on giving up and I tell him and then he gives me direction.  I ask him what he sees that I haven't given up as well. His perception gives me a focus.  Quite frankly, it doesn't matter what I think I haven't given up if he wants me to focus on something else, make sense?

In terms of success, we are happy in the now and neither of us believes in forever.  Our plans are short term for the most part with long term possibilities and realistic expectations.  We're compatible in a lot of areas of life which make the flow of an M/s relationship work splendidly for us.  M/s or D/s isn't something we do, its part and parcel to the entire relationship, so yes, I would consider us a success...for now.

well wishes ~ fairer


_____________________________

The Nuclear Bomb of Awesome, rockin' the MoFo Hawk, still a bad-ass with a bouncy attitude, and spreading joy as a predator in Hello Kitty panties

Recently honored with membership in the West Coast Assholes

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Percentages - 2/5/2008 9:41:13 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline
quote:

To what degree are you able (or willing) to submit to a partner?


I probably would have a hard time putting into percentages as well, because I don't see it as being static  and see other influences that affect

I have other demands on my life... a job,  son , grandchildren, aging parents pets, my own home.. they will take away from what I can offer to a Dom.  I don't live with a Dom  if that changed  than my percent  would be higher  but even then I will have demand  outside of that.  I would say  that  the degree of submission would be on a sliding scale  that could change weekly depending on other responsibilites and demands of my life, the rest of of my life does not cease to exist once I accept a dom into my life.  The level of submission during the time that I am actually with him with also change the longer we are together  and change somewhat due to stresses, for example if one of my parents became ill or had to have surgery , I may be worrying and I would have less focus on him so that will also alter the depth of submission


_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Percentages - 2/5/2008 9:52:59 PM   
Sasy


Posts: 1387
Joined: 7/5/2004
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

 
To what degree are you able (or willing) to submit to a partner?
 
I realize this sort of thing is difficult to actually put into a percentage, unless the answer is zero, or one-hundred


The first time around with him .75%....Tho  some how in my twisted thinking at the time  I felt it was 100% .. Later I  realized  it was probally about 50% .... I know now why it happened that  way... I wont say it is all my fault  but I do realize that that I contributed to it by  not opening  up completely

This time around with him .... I  feel it  is probally   between 95 and 100 we still have a few things to work out  but I am sure that  100 percent will be realized soon

_____________________________

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." ~ Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Percentages - 2/5/2008 10:03:09 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
To what degree do you expect a partner to submit?

Depends on the partner.  With my partner, zero.  There is no expectation of submission from anyone.
quote:


To what degree are you able (or willing) to submit to a partner?

If 100% exists, then it's that- as long as I'm remaining true to myself within that submission.
 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Percentages - 2/6/2008 5:14:51 AM   
ItalianSMistress


Posts: 427
Joined: 1/19/2007
From: Niagara Region Ontario Canada
Status: offline 		It has to be 100%. if not, who is really in control there?  I always tell the ones I talk to, the one choice you have, it who you submit to, after that, it is that One that makes the choices.  Basicly, if there is resistence to submit 100%, I dont have any use for them.

_____________________________

Governess

"Dominance is the ability to create a hunger in someone that's so strong they will do anything, anytime, anywhere just to please you."


http://italianmistress.livejournal.com/


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Percentages Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.152