RE: Percentages

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Percentages

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Percentages

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Percentages - 2/6/2008 5:24:43 AM

Faeorie

Posts: 74
Joined: 1/30/2008
Status: offline

100%

But I understand mistakes can be made... then corrected

(in reply to ItalianSMistress)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Percentages - 2/6/2008 5:41:17 AM

Owner4SexSlave

Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry

Since the onset of our relationship i have done my best to submit to him to degree that i thought was 100% or pretty damn near close to it...Then as time goes on i realize, "Wow, i didn't submit that part of me yet" and it goes into the bowl.....then i think surely i am 100% there, and then something else comes along and i think. "Wow! That too?" and okay, then it goes into the bowl.

Sometimes these are little things that end up amounting to alot of clarity. Such as, when i just thought i could decorate the livingroom in our new place, the same as the old one....thinking i was the girl, this task would fall on me..then i found out that he had only allowed me to have the things in the old place and didn't like them....i had a very hard time with this....and then i realized, that i had to give up my desire to decorate a home for him, until, and in only the way he wanted....This was a big thing for me (much bigger than it sounds)

I think this post is very realistic.   Because just when you think it's 100% or 80% or whatever number you come up with. A new situation will present itself that change it.   Hell, all depends upon the day of the week and what is going on.   Things like death in a family and other Major life changing events will effect level of submission.

I have to get up on my soap box here again, TPE does not happen over night. Actually Power Exchange levels change in time and is tested.   Not everybody has 100% submission.   Just because somebody is devoted to D/s relationship does not mean 100% submission.   Hell, submission is a bit of an daily on going process. One day, One challenge at a time. Other factors can impact on submissive levels and even dare I say it DOM levels.   There are Days or times when a Dom goes into a chil out mode. Call it a mini-break.   D/s relationships are pretty dynamic.   It's a two sided dynamic as well.   I'm writing in the context of a 24/7 relationship.   Sure, it's all fine and dandy to have 100% submission for a weekend meet up.   Most of the things I write about come from a 24/7 real time live in same household relationship point of view.

Sure some people might have 100% for a few days out of week or month, think about what happens when it's 24/7 every day of the year.   I'm just tossing a few thoughts out there for people to consider.   In terms of how dynamic a D/s relationship can actually be.

(in reply to daddyncherry)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Percentages - 2/6/2008 7:07:28 AM

charmdpetKeira

Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

Hello, Level, you jukebox hero.

Is there a sliding scale for bigger or smaller exclusions? Does not being able to do something count, if one’s owner has dismissed them from ever having to perform the task?

I guess I’ll just wing it.

I shoot for 100%; haven’t said no yet. Though admittedly, the relationship is still new.

One last question for the next annual percentage check. If one has been given an “out”, such as, “If I tell you to do something you really don’t want to do, and you beg real hard to such my cock; I might let you do that instead.”, would I still get to keep my 100% if I went with the blow job?

Oooops, after reading the other posts, I have another question. Are we talking about percentage of what he wants or percentage of total submission?

k

< Message edited by charmdpetKeira -- 2/6/2008 7:28:25 AM >

_____________________________

Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to Level)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Percentages - 2/6/2008 7:38:44 AM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

Interesting question...... how about 100% submission...25% of the time.

Jeff

(in reply to Level)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Percentages - 2/6/2008 8:08:21 AM

candigirrl

Posts: 10
Status: offline

Thank's for the thoughtful topic O.P. !

I 100% want to do my best. Would that be perfect? No... because I'm not perfect.

~I really need to know who a person is, whats going on and be allowed to catch up to offer any realistic answer~

(in reply to Jeffff)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Percentages - 2/6/2008 8:11:50 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

quote:

To what degree are you able (or willing) to submit to a partner?

I'm not half as able as i am willing!
Life get's in the way of life for Sir and myself.
What with the distance between us and the fact i run a busy pub and He has a career His end, it can be quite hard to put myself 100% into my submission sometimes.
When i am with Him He has my submission 100%, but of course thats not 100% of the time.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to Level)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Percentages - 2/6/2008 8:13:57 AM

TracyTaken

Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

To what degree are you able (or willing) to submit to a partner?

To the degree that I am able. I'm not trying to be flippant (at the moment). I don't know how else to answer.

(in reply to Level)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: Percentages - 2/6/2008 8:25:26 AM

candigirrl

Posts: 10
Status: offline

Hi Tracy - me either! Thanks missturbation - you said it well!

(in reply to TracyTaken)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: Percentages - 2/6/2008 10:14:18 AM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

There are many things I am willing and able to submit to when it is required of me.
The dominants in my life do not expect or desire my submission 100% of the time. So does that count as 100% submission because we are in agreement on that issue?
They both have accepted the fact that I have a few hard limits and are interested enough in their relationship with me that they will never expect me to go there. Does that lower their dominance ‘percentage’?
My point of view is that a percentage is not only arbitrary but can, like statistics, be skewed to prove anything. If his idea of a D/s relationship is only that I kneel at his feet whenever he sits on the couch, then it would be easy to say I submit 100% of the time…….unless he sits on the couch while I am at work……..or he tells me to fix him a drink…..or………….

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to Level)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: Percentages - 2/6/2008 11:16:31 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

I don't expect 100% submission, nor would I want it. I don't exert 100% dominance either. I try and fulfill my needs and those of my partner and I chose someone with whom that goal can be reached without me needing to make every decision. I am happiest when the above is true and when many of our wants and desires are also fulfilled and that both of us are moving towards our various mutual and individual life goals.

That means that WE talk and come to an agreement on what to do, now sometimes I simply make that decision but others I voice an opinion but not a decision. She respect my opinion greatly (which is why she submits to me) but I don't simply decide for myself all her decisions.

Plus there are areas where I defer to her, her kids are an example of that. I don't hesitate to voice my opinion, and while I can imagine I might say we are going to try some parenting method she objects to, I would ultimately defer to her. Family and other places are subjects that I might defer totally, or at least be very select about when I exercise my authority. I mean I did, after all, pick her because she doesn't need rescuing, she doesn't need me at all, she instead wants me.

I am sure if I said "I have spoken" on an issue that I normally defer to her, she would probably go along, and as long as my choice turned out to be the better one consistently, I could continue to do so. However, if I was wrong repeatedly, she would no longer respect me, my authority would lesson, and at some point I would no longer inspire her submission.

Some are happy with a partner who subordinates themselves (meaning their wants and even needs) on a very core level. I have no interest in that. I guess the analogy is some are happy sitting at the table with their slave at their feet, I am happiest when mine is sitting beside me. Neither is better or worse than the other as a concept, but only one works for me.

(in reply to catize)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: Percentages - 2/6/2008 12:10:13 PM

Gleegal67

Posts: 218
Joined: 6/18/2007
From: Phoenix
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

To what degree do you expect a partner to submit?

To what degree are you able (or willing) to submit to a partner?

I realize this sort of thing is difficult to actually put into a percentage, unless the answer is zero, or one-hundred

I can honestly say I've never allowed myself the opportunity to submit 100%.

Do I want to? Eventually, maybe, possibly. I have no clue!

I can give myself moments of time where I am there submitting as much as I possibly can, which percentage wise would be 75%. I base that on because I know the time period I am with the Dominant is limited, could be 1 hour to 3 days, but it is limited, and I know that I will have to go back to "my world" which is me being Dominant in my home/work/family, which is my life choice, at this time.

I know that at times I have alot of difficulty balancing my vanilla side and my bdsm side...but I am working at it!

When I meet someone new that I would enjoy a D/s relationship with, I know that I have to communicate up front that they can't expect 100% submission, but I will give as much as I am capable of during the time we are together. There are those that have appreciated my honesty, and did not want to pursue a relationship, which is wonderful for both of us. Then there are others that said that is acceptable but wanted to demand more of what I was capable of, which wasn't fair to either of us. But it's life.

I love the life that I have chosen, and I know that submitting to another is a large part of my soul, but not 100%, at this time of my journey.

_____________________________

~always the gleeful one~

(in reply to Level)

Profile

Post #: 31

RE: Percentages - 2/6/2008 12:19:59 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Hello Mr.Level My deepest regards to you.

I am able to submit 100% - that does not mean I enjoy everything and sometimes I will be out of my comfort zone - but that does not diminish the ability or amount.
I submit willingly 100% to whatever and however much Darcy desires at any given moment.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Level)

Profile

Post #: 32

RE: Percentages - 2/7/2008 11:13:29 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

I mean, to be honest, I could be a 100% submissive as many (meaning NOT all, okay!) male submissives imagine submission to be. I mean, she dresses exactly how I fantasize, she forces me to do exactly what I want, when I want it, and how I want it. I am forced to service multiple women (all hot and dressed to kill) over and over and over again. I have zero responsibility for anything that goes wrong but everything that goes on agrees with me. The only thing missing is a big screen TV and a buffet! I mean, on some level whats not to like?

I am curious, to those who submit 100% of the time, how often are things done in a way you agree with? How often are things done without the least bit of your input? How often is it a struggle to do what is asked of you? How often are your openly voiced concerns and issues directly overruled?

In short, submission to me means "I want something else entirely but accept his choice/action/want over mine." Otherwise to me it is like your typical flogging scene, where the submissive is given all the pleasure and attention, nothing is asked of them, then they are "forced" to cum over and over with a Hitachi...poor little masochists, how can they stand it?

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Profile

Post #: 33

RE: Percentages - 2/7/2008 11:19:33 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

Michael, ownership and being a service top are two distinctly different things.

Most "subs" seem to want a service top that masquerades as an owner-it makes them feel big.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Profile

Post #: 34

RE: Percentages - 2/7/2008 11:34:33 AM

TracyTaken

Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

Otherwise to me it is like your typical flogging scene, where the submissive is given all the pleasure and attention, nothing is asked of them, then they are "forced" to cum over and over with a Hitachi...poor little masochists, how can they stand it?

ROFL.

quote:

In short, submission to me means "I want something else entirely but accept his choice/action/want over mine."

That is what it is to me. It's not an easy thing to do all the time (biting my lip is a common occurence), and there is no innate purity of submissiveness in me that makes it any easier for me than it would be for the average Jill Blow. I do it quite imperfectly and sometimes fail utterly; I am a deeply flawed submissive.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Profile

Post #: 35

RE: Percentages - 2/7/2008 11:42:08 AM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I am curious, to those who submit 100% of the time, how often are things done in a way you agree with? How often are things done without the least bit of your input? How often is it a struggle to do what is asked of you? How often are your openly voiced concerns and issues directly overruled?

in a way i "agree" with? my uppermost desire is always for my Master to have his will, even if secondarily i may find his way hurtful, mean, irresponsible, etc. things are quite often done without my giving any input. it is not rare for it to be a struggle for me to calmly and without any lip or hesitation do what is demanded of me. as far as being "overruled", that implies that a decision would lie in my hands in the first place, which has never occured. sometimes he will ask for my thoughts or feelings on a particular issue, because he wishes to know what is on my mind or in my heart, but this does not effect his actions.

100% submission is just that...total, complete, and not simply when it's easy or convenient or self-serving.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Profile

Post #: 36

RE: Percentages - 2/7/2008 11:44:38 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

I expect 100% submission...Combined with 0% body fat. I would never want to change a thing about her. She smells of unicorn droppings. Her tits defy gravity at all times...and even while on her period she smells of chili...She loves the company of another woman and gets wet watching me fuck her friends.

She is perfect.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 2/7/2008 11:46:24 AM >

_____________________________

(in reply to TracyTaken)

Profile

Post #: 37

RE: Percentages - 2/7/2008 11:48:29 AM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

In short, submission to me means "I want something else entirely but accept his choice/action/want over mine." Otherwise to me it is like your typical flogging scene, where the submissive is given all the pleasure and attention, nothing is asked of them, then they are "forced" to cum over and over with a Hitachi...poor little masochists, how can they stand it?

this strikes a chord with the "the things i enjoy, i enjoy because i do not enjoy them" thread on ask a submissive

several of us have been discussing how our purest most honest submissive pleasures ... comes from performing personally distasteful service out of choice

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Profile

Post #: 38

RE: Percentages - 2/7/2008 11:50:47 AM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Most "subs" seem to want a service top that masquerades as an owner-it makes them feel big.

do we? ...

dammit ... another memo no one sent me

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to Leatherist)

Profile

Post #: 39

RE: Percentages - 2/7/2008 11:59:33 AM

charlotte12

Posts: 471
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline

I would have to echo cherry....again...(damn girl, we might have to start purposely disagreeing sometime

)

I don't purposely hold back any percentage. I aim for 100%. He would not accept anything less (held back on purpose.) But our relationship is still somewhat new and everytime I think I have something figured out I find some other way in which I could have been more pleasing, or simply said "yes Master," some other thing I can let go of and "add to the bowl" as cherry says.

Just last night he was instructing me in some protocol I didn't have down yet and I was feeling about as "slavey" as I've felt in a while, felt I truly understood my place with him, wanted to obey with grace and beauty in everything. Then he started talking about how I serve everyone as a slave unless instructed otherwise (he was talking about serving drinks.) Uncomfortable situations started to present themselves to my mind and I daresay I became a little less beautiful than I had been moments before. So I've recognized another thing I need to accept as his...my shame and embarrassment. Sigh ah well. I will keep striving to serve well but would feel that if I said I submit 100% I might be putting on a little bit of arrogance at this point. I am learning and he is patient. I imagine there will always be something else I can let go of for him.

charlotte

_____________________________

Stephan's slaveling

"I'm not superior, I'm just more important." Master (Stephann)

"When you are your freest self, who are you?" Jack Rinella

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Profile

Post #: 40