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Play Parties/Socials - 2/2/2008 6:31:27 PM

MissDaisy

Posts: 20
Joined: 1/19/2006
Status: offline

I would like to know the opinions of others. What is it about a play party that interests you enough that you want to attend? If you do not attend play parties or never have attended, what is the reason? If you are a regular party goer and stopped attending, why?

I am the Social Team Leader for BESS and am trying to learn more about why people attend or don't attend. I am hoping that a lot of you will take the time to consider this topic and provide your opinion.

Thank you,
Susan C

Post #: 1

RE: Play Parties/Socials - 2/2/2008 6:33:58 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Susan yo! Good to see you!

Turn ons:
- equipment and access to new toys are the main reasons
- social time with people they don't see as often
- opportunity to try new things

Turn offs:
- annoying know it alls/equipment hogs/all gawkers
- not enough welcoming of the newbies
- bad directions/lack of parking
- overpriced for what you get

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MissDaisy)

Post #: 2

RE: Play Parties/Socials - 2/2/2008 6:35:10 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

First, it's about an hour from here to the nearest munch, there and back means not much time to enjoy. More importantly, fear of being outed. He's a Boy Scout leader, and that's not an organization that would give him a second chance. Beyond that, play for us is sexual and we don't share, neither do we have sex in public.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to MissDaisy)

Post #: 3

RE: Play Parties/Socials - 2/2/2008 6:40:13 PM

MissDaisy

Posts: 20
Joined: 1/19/2006
Status: offline

LONG TIME, no see...
I have sure come a long way, haven't I??? :)

Thanks for your input!!!!

Feel free to come back and visit us sometime!!

SusanC

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 4

RE: Play Parties/Socials - 2/2/2008 6:44:02 PM

MissDaisy

Posts: 20
Joined: 1/19/2006
Status: offline

Thank you for your response Celeste43.

At the BESS parties, sex is not permitted.. that is, the following is not permitted: genital to genital penetration and oral sex.

I appreciate your input. A good many are reluctant to come to parties for fear their vanilla counterparts will find out. Privacy in our organization is truly respected and a good many like to use scene names. I have a very good friend who uses a scene name. I have known him for about 2 1/2 years. To this day, I have no idea what his real name is, yet I know he is trustworthy and safe. I also have quite a few friends where I don't know their last names.

A lot of people choose not to share. Nothing wrong with this. Some people come to the dungeon parties and play only with each other.

Take care.
Susan C

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 5

RE: Play Parties/Socials - 2/2/2008 6:53:25 PM

fluffyswitch

Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
Status: offline

well the reason with teh most impact for me is that i don't drive and they're not easy to get to otherwise. and honestly, even with all the time that i spend on here, if i'm not in class or working i should be doing things like homework. or maybe laundry. but mostly homework. i really and truly don't have a life...

_____________________________

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” churchill

the first rule of fluff club is that you don't talk about fluff club!

(in reply to MissDaisy)

Post #: 6

RE: Play Parties/Socials - 2/2/2008 7:41:20 PM

Masochist444

Posts: 24
Joined: 4/11/2007
Status: offline

I attended play parties for many years. Currently I am not that interested in them. However, one of the men who plays with me loves the dungeons in LA, so I attend them occasionally as a service to him.

My issue with play parties is that I do edge play and there are times when the clubs do not allow it to occur in their space. Also, it can be a bit difficult for the novices to watch. Watching others play can be a bit boring for me, so I do not have an interest in going just to watch. I also find the sex done at the local parties really boring and not something that I want to engage in, I am not that interested in sex in general and do not find others doing it all that stinulating. It seems that at most parties, either the ones done by the local club or the private parties, someone is doing some kind of sexual activity involving fucking or sucking that I find pretty boring. I prefer the pain and tend to focus on those kind of activities.

(in reply to fluffyswitch)

Post #: 7

RE: Play Parties/Socials - 2/2/2008 7:59:33 PM

SassySarijane

Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline

I enjoy going to play parties/socials. I get to socialize with some good people I don't see all the time outside of them. I get my maso needs met. I get to use great equipment not generally available at home or friend's. I get to "let my hair down" and be fully me around others of similar minds who accept that side of me, hidden somewhat from family who would never accept that part of me. I get to watch awesome scenes of others and see new, to me, things and learn. I always have a great time and each time is unique. I belong to a wonderful group of people locally.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers
LPTnB

(in reply to Masochist444)

Post #: 8

RE: Play Parties/Socials - 2/2/2008 8:38:58 PM

LaMistressa

Posts: 460
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline

I attend play parties and socials in my area. I like the equipment and the dynamic of other like-minded people there, and I like seeing friends and hot scenes. I dislike when a party is in an area or is run in a manner where I don't feel safe being there, I dislike being at parties with a higher gawker vs. player ratio, and I dislike cigarette smoke. Those three are my biggies in determining where I go.

(in reply to MissDaisy)

Post #: 9

RE: Play Parties/Socials - 2/2/2008 9:11:56 PM

ChainedExistence

Posts: 507
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline

There's a thread running now about some games for a play party, and the one thing that struck me was the idea of "playing" with anyone other than Master. I have Zero interest in that. I don't wish to be someone toothpick dart target, be auctioned off with play money to another Dom or so on. Master and I have a Personal relationship that is based on more than the D/s alone. I want my relationship and my "game playing" to be with him- not a room full of people I don't know or care about.
Now, if you are talking more about a club type atmosphere- well, I'm not much of a voyeur (although something really out there might catch my attention), and I am definitely not comfortable being watched, so that doesn't leave a whole lot for me to do. I'd rather socialize with people in a non-play environment- more like a munch situation, although again, I am uncomfortable with those being held in public venues where anyone can overhear the conversation. I guess I have some curiosity about what others do, but not enough to make me venture out to actually see.

(in reply to LaMistressa)

Post #: 10

RE: Play Parties/Socials - 2/2/2008 11:16:38 PM

greyangelus

Posts: 192
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline

Biggest reason I stopped going? Average age. Not knocking anyones age by any means, I usually get along better with people 10+ years older than my own age range. But at one of the largest munches (100-200, once a month deal), theres maybe 10-15 under 30, all but one or 2 in a couple/relationship whatever. I won't say thers active ageism or singles discrimination (I never once got a disparing remark ), but being single, under 30, and identifying is dom and male means your pretty well socially DOA. The smaller get-togethers (play parties and demos), its a lotter better and I do enjoy myself. But several times I've been the youngest one (once by a matter double-digits) there and the only single anything period

I'd love to go more often, but my experiences have let me feeling "whats the point" in a large way.

(in reply to ChainedExistence)

Post #: 11

RE: Play Parties/Socials - 2/2/2008 11:31:03 PM

MissDaisy

Posts: 20
Joined: 1/19/2006
Status: offline

In regards to age, something that we do here in Baltimore is within BESS, we have a special interest group called TNG otherwise known as the next generation. This is for young adults aged 19 through 35. The group is rather sizeable and it is specifically geared towards the folks only in that age bracket. Seems to work rather well for them. They get together a lot, do munches, have their own parties at times, social hours, etc.
Maybe this is something that you greyangelus, could do in your own area?? Perhaps start your own TNG type group??

(in reply to greyangelus)

Post #: 12

RE: Play Parties/Socials - 2/2/2008 11:33:55 PM

MissDaisy

Posts: 20
Joined: 1/19/2006
Status: offline

One of the things I like about the BESS Social parties is certain sexual activities are not permitted. I am referring to genital to genital penetration and any type of oral sex. Some do occasionally use toys for penetration but I actually don't often see this. Usually when people play, it is a sm scene or lighter play or sensual play like sensation play for example.

Also, in the venue that the BESS parties are held, smoking is permitted only in the breakroom which is separate from the play areas and the socializing area.

I suppose different venues do have different rules.

(in reply to Masochist444)

Post #: 13

RE: Play Parties/Socials - 2/2/2008 11:39:24 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

While I actually disliked (and continue to dislike) that the kink of physical sexual interaction was/is not allowed.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MissDaisy)

Post #: 14

RE: Play Parties/Socials - 2/2/2008 11:42:07 PM

pagansub77

Posts: 137
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline

<Fast Reply>

I love attending our local play parties. We have in the core membership people who have presented at Regional and National events. I'm always learning something. Ages vary from low 20's all the way to late 60's. It's a bit smoky out front in the conversation area, but the play room itself is smoke free.

2000 sq feet gives plenty of space to have numerous stations and many scenes going on simultaneously. There is no person to person or object penetration allowed at all. There is a small totally private area, where people who prefer no audience can scene. The folks are as friendly and welcoming as can be, whether it's your first ever party or just someone new to the area.

We strive to keep the parties interesting with some type of demo or presentation before the dungeon opens. I've been a demo dolly for needle play, quills and clothespins myself. Those are the reasons I love attending our area parties.

_____________________________

ps77

In the end everything will be okay.
If everything is not okay, then it's not the end.
Madness takes its toll...exact change only

(in reply to greyangelus)

Post #: 15

RE: Play Parties/Socials - 2/3/2008 12:00:19 AM

greyangelus

Posts: 192
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissDaisy

In regards to age, something that we do here in Baltimore is within BESS, we have a special interest group called TNG otherwise known as the next generation. This is for young adults aged 19 through 35. The group is rather sizeable and it is specifically geared towards the folks only in that age bracket. Seems to work rather well for them. They get together a lot, do munches, have their own parties at times, social hours, etc.
Maybe this is something that you greyangelus, could do in your own area?? Perhaps start your own TNG type group??

To the first, the only links to a TNG group come back as "no page found", and I distinctly recall never having seen the links before (last time I check before now was maybe 8 months ago). Past that, I've not found any other groups/meetings etc.

Quite possible but not atm (school/work/living arangements are entering a period of uncertainty which is taking a huge share of my time). On the bright side though, if I do do this I know the right people by acquaitance on how to get something like this started.

< Message edited by greyangelus -- 2/3/2008 12:02:20 AM >

(in reply to MissDaisy)

Post #: 16

RE: Play Parties/Socials - 2/3/2008 2:20:28 AM

Willowmoon

Posts: 227
Joined: 9/25/2007
Status: offline

I enjoy them because it is a situation where i can be me and not hide behind vanilla standards.
I like the chance to learn new things from other people and make new friends.

What i don't like is the clicks, the bitchyness and backstabbing. Doms thinking that just because i am a slave i will submit to them and the list goes on

(in reply to greyangelus)

Post #: 17

RE: Play Parties/Socials - 2/3/2008 4:42:59 AM

SirMichealspeach

Posts: 73
Joined: 1/13/2006
Status: offline

Master and I attend our local munch group every month. Its a chance to see a lot of folks we don't see often. We also like the BDSM club in atlanta and try to go as often as finances permit. We have not had any bad experiences with other Doms wanting to but in or anything. The one thing i do dislike is the sheer number of people attending the dungeons. It is very difficult at times to get to the equipment and sometimes the list to use certain things is just outrageous, but, since we moved out of our big house with full dungeon , its the only place we have to go with the equipment and since we are both very much exobisionist, it is great. there is also a grooup called "whippersnappers" in the atlanta area for the younger crowd (19-39). They have their own munches and play parties seperate from ours so the age thing is not an issue.
Sir Micheals peach

(in reply to Willowmoon)

Post #: 18

RE: Play Parties/Socials - 2/3/2008 5:26:22 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

For starters, I get to play. That, however, seems rather obvious.

There is a small group here, so I do what I can to support it. Not big in numbers, but it gives a 'family' feel to it. My schedule doesn't always permit Me to attend everything, but I do what I can. I enjoy the company of the people at the munches and socials. The play parties are an added bonus.

I also frequent the club in Atlanta that was mentioned in the previous post. (Hello, SirMichealspeach. My best to you and yours, and congratulations. I thought I recognized the picture.) I don't get there as often as I would like to, but the two hour trip to Atlanta after playing can be rather draining. Much easier to spend the night. I've been very welcomed there, even though I'm an out of town gal. It almost makes Me feel like I'm at home in two places.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SirMichealspeach)

Post #: 19

RE: Play Parties/Socials - 2/3/2008 5:36:19 AM

mtnbutterfly

Posts: 1
Joined: 2/10/2006
From: TN
Status: offline

I have only been around the lifestyle three years and highly recommend small play parties. When first beginning, they are a good place to observe and learn. They are also the best place to play with a new person. You are not alone, trusted people are around to watch out for you and also to give you some new experiences. We have no dungeon close by so play parties are within a home, thus not too large a group. The comraderie at munches and parties is great. You get to meet and know folks; also a good way to get second opinions on someone you bring in. I don't know that I would ever have had the courage to play at all if I had not began by playing at our local group parties. Rules are outlined before anything begins and enforced. I am very thankful for our great group and their willingness to mentor.

(in reply to SirMichealspeach)

Post #: 20

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