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RE: Is it possible to be a dominant submissive? - 1/13/2008 5:24:21 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
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From: Little Rock, AR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SadisticBastid
LOL... First you act like a smart ass trying to be "cute" and now you're acting like a dumb ass saying I need to be clear so you "understand what I'm trying to say"? LOL... make up your mind will ya?

LOL....First you say she's a smart ass and then you say she's a dumb ass.  LOL...make up your mind, will ya?  One can only be one or the other, not both.  Just like one can only be dom or sub, not both...............luci

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RE: Is it possible to be a dominant submissive? - 1/13/2008 5:29:52 PM   
SadisticBastid


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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: SadisticBastid
LOL... First you act like a smart ass trying to be "cute" and now you're acting like a dumb ass saying I need to be clear so you "understand what I'm trying to say"? LOL... make up your mind will ya?

LOL....First you say she's a smart ass and then you say she's a dumb ass.  LOL...make up your mind, will ya?  One can only be one or the other, not both.  Just like one can only be dom or sub, not both...............luci


I didnt say she WAS one... I said she was "ACTING" like one..... Dumb ass LOL.

(in reply to slaveluci)
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RE: Is it possible to be a dominant submissive? - 1/13/2008 5:33:57 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
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From: Little Rock, AR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SadisticBastid


quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: SadisticBastid
LOL... First you act like a smart ass trying to be "cute" and now you're acting like a dumb ass saying I need to be clear so you "understand what I'm trying to say"? LOL... make up your mind will ya?

LOL....First you say she's a smart ass and then you say she's a dumb ass.  LOL...make up your mind, will ya?  One can only be one or the other, not both.  Just like one can only be dom or sub, not both...............luci


I didnt say she WAS one... I said she was "ACTING" like one..... Dumb ass LOL.

I just told Master that I KNEW you were going to come back with that.  Ok.  Along that line of thinking, then if she can "ACT" like both a smartass and a dumbass, why can't she "ACT" like both a dom and a sub?  Hmmmm?????  Now who's the dumb ass?................luci

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RE: Is it possible to be a dominant submissive? - 1/13/2008 5:36:02 PM   
laurell3


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littlesarbonn I don't think it's that uncommon that someone is ordered to perform activities that some might consider to be submissive to a D type.  The key as LA pointed out is who retains the authority and does the ordering.  It's unclear from your OP whether this friend is either dominant or submissive, I'm guessing she's just hot for you and squicky about the submissive thing.  If you like her, sit down and talk to her about it, clearly she is interested in you and again as stated above, try not to think in absolutes but what may work out for the two of you.

SadisticBastid it's clear that you are confused by switches.  That's fine, many people are.  You can remain confused and even disapproving without being insulting and adopting a everyone is clueless except me approach.  Much like in vanilla nonsexual relationships, we can have different obligations and approaches with different people or even the same person.  It's not really all that difficult to grasp that one can extend that to a sexual or d/s arena and have different roles in different relationships and/or even in the same one.  LA whom you insulted is quite happy and her relationship functions well for both of them, so why would you care?  Your statements sound vaguely familiar...oh yeah it's what vanilla people say about all of US, how could what you are doing possibly be healthy/true/right?  Is that really what you want to sound like?

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RE: Is it possible to be a dominant submissive? - 1/13/2008 6:01:42 PM   
bekaness


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I personally put it this way.. I have a dominant personality with a deep-rooted need for submission. This is what is great about BDSM, it is not one way or a Masters way or a slave's way. It is not a B&D way or an S&M way... it is not a vanilla way or a kinky way.. BDSM is about tolerance and finding our niche in the road of our life. For some people absolutist thinking is their way, and you know what? It works for them, is right for them, and is their way, and no one else's. Some people are the opposite. If you are socially dominant, and you please your owner/mistress/whatever.. it doesn't matter what other people see you as. They (if they are truly your friends) will see you as you are and love you no matter what. If they don't, stay away from people who don't help you grow and experience life. The dynamic is exactly that-- between the members of the "house" or "relationship" that is inside. It is up to them to determine what is right. BDSM is just like any other relationship, friendship, vanilla, work, or otherwise.. takes work and understanding.. comprimise and communication. Who knows? Maybe what's right for you now will change in a year. The important thing is to be truthful with those in your life. Be sure of your decisions of who you are. If you're unsure what you are? Talk it out with someone, but don't go claiming to be one thing and have to pull your foot out of your mouth later on. It's an ongoing process.. and those who aren't willing to understand that will fade or dissappear, leaving you to shine. If you don't take care of yourself, no one else will want to. There is nothing wrong with self-esteem and definition through hard-earned experience.

Well wishes to you

Rebecca

(in reply to littlesarbonn)
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RE: Is it possible to be a dominant submissive? - 1/13/2008 6:21:53 PM   
lusciouslips19


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quote:

There was a day when you were expected to actually be responsible for your own life first, before you expected someone else to submit to you LOL... now all you have to do is have enough money to buy some toys LOL.


Did you have to walk 8 miles in the snow barefoot to get to school?


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RE: Is it possible to be a dominant submissive? - 1/13/2008 6:23:21 PM   
MissMagnolia


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Try to stick to the subject matter bastid. I'm happy you aren't interested in popularity. You won't be disappointed.

LS,  I have met many subs who are dominant in the big bad world. Policemen, doctors, people who have to make strong, quick decisions, etc. I also don't expect all subs to bow and scrape at my feet, I don't own them, after all. You just sound like a seriously together guy in a nice friendship with a nice girl. Enjoy!!

Level, come and hide under my skirt. I have a little job that you can do for me, while ya there.

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RE: Is it possible to be a dominant submissive? - 1/13/2008 6:24:04 PM   
Level


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Rebecca, you're right, lots of LOLing.....

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to SadisticBastid)
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RE: Is it possible to be a dominant submissive? - 1/13/2008 6:31:26 PM   
domahpet


Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline
I submit completely to my master and completely dominate my submissive.
nothing smart as or dumb ass about that statement that i can see,
i do the same thing.
i only noticed one ass involved in that entire conversation,
and it wasnt LA

(in reply to fullofgrace69)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Is it possible to be a dominant submissive? - 1/13/2008 6:38:30 PM   
decstorm37


Posts: 95
Joined: 11/12/2007
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Here is my take on what the op was asking. What works for me may not work for everyone.  I  worked EMS for 10 yrs that meant i had to be in charge All the time. I was a paramedic.  I made life and death choices every day.  I am a sub my Master knows all about my old job he is a firefighter and EMT.  That said.......there will days where i want to take charge and just take over and start things.  My Master and i have talked about this and he knows where it comes from. 
I'm not trying to top from the bottom or Dom my Master in anyway but giving up all control is just not in my nature. Wow i hope this makes sense LOL

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RE: Is it possible to be a dominant submissive? - 1/13/2008 6:38:43 PM   
scarlettwitch


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: North Carolina
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SadisticBastid


quote:

ORIGINAL: scarlettwitch
That is precisely the sort of absolutist thinking and labeling that gets people confused and that I personally have no patience for.
1) There ARE no absolutes in BDSM anymore than there is in any other aspect of the human race except birth and death,


It is EXACTLY this kind of attitude thats making everything fall apart in MANY aspects of life, including relationships, marriages, jobs, family values, raising children, and a whole host of other things.

People like you simply don't want to take responsibility for ANYTHING.... You don't want to be held accountable for your actions, or choices. You decide one second that you want to be a submissive... but GOD FORBID anyone should actually hold you to it. No, you want to call yourself a Dominant one second, and a submissive the next... and all along you don't even have the slightest clue as to what the hell either one means? You think being a Dominant is nothing more than tying someone up and beating them... ANY Idiot can do that... thats nothing more than a "TOP". Sure, perhaps you're a skilled top, but you're Damn sure not a Dominant.

A Dominant is someone who actually takes responsibility for the life and future of someone else. A Dominant is someone who takes responsibility for his or her own life, and provides a safe and secure foundation for his or her submissive. No wonder so many submissives feel that there are no good Dominants left... because they don't... Everyone thinks Oh I can call myself a Dominant, but don't expect me to lead you... Don't expect me to offer you a rock to count on... I just want to tie you up, fuck you, and beat you, but if you have any problems, you're on your own LOL.

This lifestyle makes me laugh these days LOL


Ok, so.. if I'm a submissive and I don't believe in absolutes, that means I'm confused? No wait, I get it.. I'm a wife, a mother of three and stepmother of three more, and I was my invalid mother's caretaker for several years before she passed away, and I have taught classes, and counseled, and I hold down a full-time job while taking good care of my home, and I am fully capable and efficient in my capacities for decision-making and correct action, and am as socially, morally, and environmentally responsible as is humanly possible, but.. because I make an informed choice approximately halfway through my life to submit to the Man I love, and still retain and making full use of everything I was and am able to be up until that point, that means I don't take responsibility for anything? Hmm, maybe I really AM confused..
The audacity and downright bullheadedness of some people continues to astound me. I said I was a dominant submissive NOT because I also attempt to identify as a Top, but because I only submit to one Man on His terms while retaining the freedom and ability to dominate in areas of my life where such action warrants it. Now this in no way means that there cannot be switches/dominant submissives/or whatever, because I do not presume to dictate terms and assumptions about how and why people make the choices that they do - unlike some.
Now then, when You are nominated for Smartest Guy On The Planet, or maybe even Godhood, perhaps then You will have the right to dictate such terms to the rest of us, but in Your own rampant close-minded arrogance, ignorance, presumption, and imperfection, I can't really see that happening anytime soon. So until then please, keep the blanket eliteist statements to Yourself, enjoy Your inept little fantasy world where nothing exists unless You say it does, and leave those of us who still believe in freedom of choice and individual destiny alone.

(in reply to SadisticBastid)
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RE: Is it possible to be a dominant submissive? - 1/13/2008 6:44:14 PM   
scarlettwitch


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: North Carolina
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: decstorm37

Here is my take on what the op was asking. What works for me may not work for everyone.  I  worked EMS for 10 yrs that meant i had to be in charge All the time. I was a paramedic.  I made life and death choices every day.  I am a sub my Master knows all about my old job he is a firefighter and EMT.  That said.......there will days where i want to take charge and just take over and start things.  My Master and i have talked about this and he knows where it comes from. 
I'm not trying to top from the bottom or Dom my Master in anyway but giving up all control is just not in my nature. Wow i hope this makes sense LOL


Yes decstorm, you make perfect sense. Thank you hon.

(in reply to decstorm37)
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RE: Is it possible to be a dominant submissive? - 1/13/2008 7:01:07 PM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SadisticBastid
This lifestyle makes me laugh these days LOL


"These days"?  You're what - 35?  You haven't been around long enough to say that.  At least, and not have people laugh at you.

Some switches are confused - sure.  But most of us know *exactly* what we want.  You narrow-minded folks with little imagination and even less tolerance for people who won't follow your version of the world according to you are the confused ones - we're not unicorns, and you don't have to be a virgin to come near us.

Though some of us *do* like cherries.

(in reply to SadisticBastid)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Is it possible to be a dominant submissive? - 1/13/2008 7:03:30 PM   
TheLookingGirl


Posts: 162
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: A city near you.
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Rebecca?

<----TheLookingGirl or Sarah

_____________________________

The strongest & most effective force in assuring the long-term maintenance of power is not violence in all the forms deployed by the dominant to control the dominated,but consent in all the forms in which the dominated acquiesce in their own domination.

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RE: Is it possible to be a dominant submissive? - 1/13/2008 7:04:44 PM   
Leatherist


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The most confusion I have ver gotten from self proclaimed subs I have dated was when I just asked this.

Exactly what are you submitting to?

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I'm not taking custom orders.

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RE: Is it possible to be a dominant submissive? - 1/13/2008 10:51:11 PM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SadisticBastid

Is it possible? Hell... people think being a submissive means the only time you're expected to submit is in the bedroom... so I guess anything is possible LOL


And what's wrong with that, if that's what the two, or whatever number in your relationship, has decided that's what they want?

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RE: Is it possible to be a dominant submissive? - 1/13/2008 11:23:47 PM   
CuriousLord


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First things first..  Hoo Yeah! Go for it Cartoon Stickboy!


Now that the important stuff's out of the way..

Perhaps making another happy is only an instance of a larger function?  This is to say, perhaps you enjoy not serving others, but those you care about being happy.. that making them happy is only a typical route to this?  If so, this may suggest that there could be other routes, such as dominance.

Things go well when I'm dominant.  I control things well; so, I'm most comfortable in a dominant position.  However, it is not a love for dominance in and of itself but the consquences of it.  Those around me are happier when I'm in control.  There are other bits, too, such as bieng able to make decisions and such is something I enjoy.. but, again, is that just that, or is it part of the larger function?  Perhaps you willcome to feel similarly?


I would like to be honest with you.  I believe that the human mind uses a huge function that it can not maintain over the course of its lifetime.. that happenstantail of instances of routes and solutions are adopted as adequate for lack of need of superior solutions; a settlement, if one will.  I believe, however, that the human identity is potentially more varient for an open mind.

(in reply to littlesarbonn)
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RE: Is it possible to be a dominant submissive? - 1/14/2008 1:10:50 AM   
Justme696


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From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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I see some persons say they are both, but that means mostly a mix of outside (job wise leading) and inside(sub/slave) of the lifestyle. Not many, besides switches, say they are "really" both.  But outside thelifestyle there is not "submission/Domming". Having a boss is''t submission, beeing a boss isn't Domming.
Perhaps we try to force out thoughts to much outside the lifestyle? 

(in reply to CuriousLord)
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RE: Is it possible to be a dominant submissive? - 1/14/2008 3:21:29 AM   
fullofgrace69


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i've tried switching, because i'm kinda of the opinion that u should experience as much as possible........it didnt work :|..........-but- some of my closest friends are switches, yeah i have amazing subbie friends and dom friends (only one tries to dom me on a regular basis but we pat him on the head and give him a cookie) and can i just say, out of all us at the moment it is my two switch friends who are in a healthy happy relationship, coming up a year now.....they switch and change and never get bord and if its what makes them happy than so be it. switching doesnt work for me cos i was asking the subbie wot to do next and basically attempting to give control over lol but for the people it does work for great, and why get bogged down in rules n expectations. if u wanna do something if it makes u happy so long as it doesnt hurt people (at least without their consent lol) what the hell does it matter? if you can't have fun and live a little whats the point.

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RE: Is it possible to be a dominant submissive? - 1/14/2008 3:35:34 AM   
Justme696


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Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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quote:

if u wanna do something if it makes u happy so long as it doesnt hurt people (at least without their consent lol) what the hell does it matter?


that is the main point in all

(in reply to fullofgrace69)
Profile   Post #: 40
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