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Submissives approaching me...why? - 1/10/2008 6:10:39 PM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		So, I get this IM on Yahoo (I have a very vanilla Yahoo profile) and a guy IMs me and asks me if I need anything done, if I am bossy, etc.  I told him he was really barking up the wrong tree and tried to suggest he look for a Domme (I'm submissive) and get involved with the local groups, etc.  He's having none of it, and I DO have a houseful of stuff I need fixed.  He then offers to take me shopping and buy me whatever I want.  So, I am not at all dominant and this would do nothing for me in that way, but if someone's offering to buy me whatever I want and it'll do something for *him*...is that wrong?  I have no issues with people buying stuff for me.  Heh.
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RE: Submissives approaching me...why? - 1/10/2008 6:14:26 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline 		so long as you are open with him and and clear about what won't be happening, you're doing nothing wrong

but as he's a random stranger, give him a po box to send stuff to and develop at least a friendship before meeting him (in a very public place)




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(in reply to moonvine)
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RE: Submissives approaching me...why? - 1/10/2008 6:16:01 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Submissive men approach me too, and I am a taken submissive...

I think that some people here are just wanting to wank, and hoping to get a response back that will help them do so. It is nothing about you or your profile that is attracting them.. you are female and you have a heartbeat... and for some that is enough

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(in reply to moonvine)
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RE: Submissives approaching me...why? - 1/10/2008 6:16:02 PM   
purepleasure


Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		You've been trolled!  If he continues after you have rebuked the offers, try blocking him.  If he manages to get around the block, report him to the website admins.

(in reply to moonvine)
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RE: Submissives approaching me...why? - 1/10/2008 6:22:06 PM   
sweetstorm


Posts: 227
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline 		I get hit up by submissives all the time. I told the slightly-English-impaired one just last night that I wasn't even exactly certain what "financial servitude" was but that if it involved other people sending me money, I could probably learn quickly. 

But I must say I am carrying on a conversation with a sub that hit me up and I asked him why. He said that he had met a great deal of arrogance on the Dominant side and was looking for subs that wanted to explore with each other. I was (A) intrigued by his odd but honest approach and (B) hoping he could maybe help me explore topping. So maybe that'll be a beneficial sub-hit-up.    Here's to keeping an open mind.

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RE: Submissives approaching me...why? - 1/10/2008 6:27:27 PM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		i get the same messages and i always ask them what they are looking for in talking with me since i am submissive too?  i am very open to making new friends and if they want to be friends i'm all for it, but anything else is just silly.

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He's the "boom" overwhelming...

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RE: Submissives approaching me...why? - 1/10/2008 6:31:21 PM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: purepleasure

You've been trolled!  If he continues after you have rebuked the offers, try blocking him.  If he manages to get around the block, report him to the website admins.


He contacted me on Yahoo IM....not CM..  I don't think he's trolling, I think he's serious.  Of course I could be wrong in this. 

(in reply to purepleasure)
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RE: Submissives approaching me...why? - 1/10/2008 6:32:19 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Really? I hope you don't let him come over to do the housework-and find yourself getting ass-raped.

That mean old wet blanket-leatherist.

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RE: Submissives approaching me...why? - 1/10/2008 6:33:53 PM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		Yeah, that would be different..I think this guy just has some fantasies about financial servitude...he asked me if I needed anything done and I told him I needed a floor put in, and he asked if he couldn't do it if he could pay for it..um, sure, but I still think he'd be happier with an actual Domme.

I, however, would be quite happy with not having a concrete floor...

(in reply to sweetstorm)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Submissives approaching me...why? - 1/10/2008 6:37:19 PM   
PrizedPosession


Posts: 1209
Joined: 11/2/2007
Status: offline 		It's happened to me too..and i'm a novice! i have to agree with some are just looking for any female but others are curious and looking.
One guy wanted me to dominate him, which i am pretty incapable of doing, but later on i found he found a Domme so i'm happy for him but it was still strange that he came to me.

if he's serious is he looking for play or the whole thing?


-bobcat

(in reply to moonvine)
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RE: Submissives approaching me...why? - 1/10/2008 6:41:02 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: moonvine

Yeah, that would be different..I think this guy just has some fantasies about financial servitude...he asked me if I needed anything done and I told him I needed a floor put in, and he asked if he couldn't do it if he could pay for it..um, sure, but I still think he'd be happier with an actual Domme.

I, however, would be quite happy with not having a concrete floor...


If you went into a negotiation type phase with him because you thought - hey, shopping could be kind of fun, sure -- what you will probably find is that his questions, which appear to be just for planning, are all meant to provide him wanking material. Where will you go? What will you  "make" him buy? Will you tell your friends about this experience?  Will you make him wear panties?  Etc...after you have sent him all the emails he needs to blow his load (cum, not money) you will not hear from him again.  No "shopping"" will ever happen. If he wanted to take a professional dominatrix from a dungeon shopping she'd set it up with him, but they have heard the "First, tell me what you will do to me, so I can be ready" wanker call enough times.

Akasha


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(in reply to moonvine)
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RE: Submissives approaching me...why? - 1/10/2008 6:41:46 PM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		I am in no way shape or form a Domme so he would not be getting play from/with me.  Like I said I told him about the local scene - there's a munch this Sat I think - and he wasn't interested.    But if he really wants to buy me stuff and he gets off simply on the act of buying me stuff (which, whatever, if that's someone's kink) then I have no problem with it.  I have a feeling I'm going to want electronic equipment and he's going to want to buy me lingerie...I just find the whole dynamic odd.

(in reply to PrizedPosession)
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RE: Submissives approaching me...why? - 1/10/2008 6:43:58 PM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Really? I hope you don't let him come over to do the housework-and find yourself getting ass-raped.

That mean old wet blanket-leatherist.


Yeah, I'd have people here, several.   Maybe I should just say tell him to call Home Depot up and pay for it and have the Home Depot people come install the floor:)

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Submissives approaching me...why? - 1/10/2008 6:45:49 PM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		sometimes i wonder if they just troll the pics and go from there.  i've had a few sub men say they love me on their first message...i don't get it really, but i'm always polite in my response, i don't like to be rude, but at times i have to be factual and to the point.

_____________________________

i am woman! er, godzilla! hear me roar!

http://wavcentral.com/cgi-bin/log/log.cgi?id=2856&sound=/sounds/movies/godzilla/roar.mp3


He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to moonvine)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Submissives approaching me...why? - 1/10/2008 6:46:05 PM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: moonvine

Yeah, that would be different..I think this guy just has some fantasies about financial servitude...he asked me if I needed anything done and I told him I needed a floor put in, and he asked if he couldn't do it if he could pay for it..um, sure, but I still think he'd be happier with an actual Domme.

I, however, would be quite happy with not having a concrete floor...


If you went into a negotiation type phase with him because you thought - hey, shopping could be kind of fun, sure -- what you will probably find is that his questions, which appear to be just for planning, are all meant to provide him wanking material. Where will you go? What will you  "make" him buy? Will you tell your friends about this experience?  Will you make him wear panties?  Etc...after you have sent him all the emails he needs to blow his load (cum, not money) you will not hear from him again.  No "shopping"" will ever happen. If he wanted to take a professional dominatrix from a dungeon shopping she'd set it up with him, but they have heard the "First, tell me what you will do to me, so I can be ready" wanker call enough times.

Akasha



These are good points, thanks!  I have a 20 page Amazon.com wishlist, I should just send him there:p  "Here's the url to my wishlist, enjoy."

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Submissives approaching me...why? - 1/10/2008 6:48:08 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Men are horny....many will be whatever you want.......IF they can get laid..........biological imperative?.....got me

Jeff

(in reply to moonvine)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Submissives approaching me...why? - 1/10/2008 6:48:14 PM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

sometimes i wonder if they just troll the pics and go from there.  i've had a few sub men say they love me on their first message...i don't get it really, but i'm always polite in my response, i don't like to be rude, but at times i have to be factual and to the point.


That's why I don't have a picture, here or on my vanilla Yahoo profile, though my Yahoo profile does have a drawing.

(in reply to christine1)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Submissives approaching me...why? - 1/10/2008 7:07:08 PM   
Muttling


Posts: 1612
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline 		I'm not sure what to think of this situation.   I would be VERY cautious about it, but that is just me.

(in reply to moonvine)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Submissives approaching me...why? - 1/10/2008 7:11:39 PM   
Vigilantejustice


Posts: 106
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline 		I have had a male sub (when my profile was still sub, not switch, but mentioned wanting to explore with females) send me mildly antagonistic messages. Ones that didn't explicitly break the rules outlined in my profile, but were just off the mark. The sub in question later admitted that he just wanted me to be "mean" to him. Maybe you're dealing with a similar situation?
-C

(in reply to moonvine)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Submissives approaching me...why? - 1/10/2008 7:21:10 PM   
agoodgirl4Daddy


Posts: 336
Joined: 10/25/2007
Status: offline 		Ya'll ever hear the expression.."you don't get something for nothing" ?? 

My bet is that the guy is full of hot air. 

_____________________________

~We do not see things as they are - we see them as we are.~ Anais Nin

(in reply to Vigilantejustice)
Profile   Post #: 20
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