Submissives approaching me...why? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message


moonvine -> Submissives approaching me...why? (1/10/2008 6:10:39 PM)

So, I get this IM on Yahoo (I have a very vanilla Yahoo profile) and a guy IMs me and asks me if I need anything done, if I am bossy, etc.  I told him he was really barking up the wrong tree and tried to suggest he look for a Domme (I'm submissive) and get involved with the local groups, etc.  He's having none of it, and I DO have a houseful of stuff I need fixed.  He then offers to take me shopping and buy me whatever I want.  So, I am not at all dominant and this would do nothing for me in that way, but if someone's offering to buy me whatever I want and it'll do something for *him*...is that wrong?  I have no issues with people buying stuff for me.  Heh.




darchChylde -> RE: Submissives approaching me...why? (1/10/2008 6:14:26 PM)

so long as you are open with him and and clear about what won't be happening, you're doing nothing wrong

but as he's a random stranger, give him a po box to send stuff to and develop at least a friendship before meeting him (in a very public place)






juliaoceania -> RE: Submissives approaching me...why? (1/10/2008 6:16:01 PM)

Submissive men approach me too, and I am a taken submissive...

I think that some people here are just wanting to wank, and hoping to get a response back that will help them do so. It is nothing about you or your profile that is attracting them.. you are female and you have a heartbeat... and for some that is enough




purepleasure -> RE: Submissives approaching me...why? (1/10/2008 6:16:02 PM)

You've been trolled!  If he continues after you have rebuked the offers, try blocking him.  If he manages to get around the block, report him to the website admins.




sweetstorm -> RE: Submissives approaching me...why? (1/10/2008 6:22:06 PM)

I get hit up by submissives all the time. I told the slightly-English-impaired one just last night that I wasn't even exactly certain what "financial servitude" was but that if it involved other people sending me money, I could probably learn quickly.  [:D]

But I must say I am carrying on a conversation with a sub that hit me up and I asked him why. He said that he had met a great deal of arrogance on the Dominant side and was looking for subs that wanted to explore with each other. I was (A) intrigued by his odd but honest approach and (B) hoping he could maybe help me explore topping. So maybe that'll be a beneficial sub-hit-up.  [:)]  Here's to keeping an open mind.




christine1 -> RE: Submissives approaching me...why? (1/10/2008 6:27:27 PM)

i get the same messages and i always ask them what they are looking for in talking with me since i am submissive too?  i am very open to making new friends and if they want to be friends i'm all for it, but anything else is just silly.




moonvine -> RE: Submissives approaching me...why? (1/10/2008 6:31:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: purepleasure

You've been trolled!  If he continues after you have rebuked the offers, try blocking him.  If he manages to get around the block, report him to the website admins.


He contacted me on Yahoo IM....not CM..  I don't think he's trolling, I think he's serious.  Of course I could be wrong in this. 




Leatherist -> RE: Submissives approaching me...why? (1/10/2008 6:32:19 PM)

Really? I hope you don't let him come over to do the housework-and find yourself getting ass-raped.

That mean old wet blanket-leatherist.[;)]




moonvine -> RE: Submissives approaching me...why? (1/10/2008 6:33:53 PM)

Yeah, that would be different..I think this guy just has some fantasies about financial servitude...he asked me if I needed anything done and I told him I needed a floor put in, and he asked if he couldn't do it if he could pay for it..um, sure, but I still think he'd be happier with an actual Domme.

I, however, would be quite happy with not having a concrete floor...




PrizedPosession -> RE: Submissives approaching me...why? (1/10/2008 6:37:19 PM)

It's happened to me too..and i'm a novice! i have to agree with some are just looking for any female but others are curious and looking.
One guy wanted me to dominate him, which i am pretty incapable of doing, but later on i found he found a Domme so i'm happy for him but it was still strange that he came to me.

if he's serious is he looking for play or the whole thing?


-bobcat




AAkasha -> RE: Submissives approaching me...why? (1/10/2008 6:41:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: moonvine

Yeah, that would be different..I think this guy just has some fantasies about financial servitude...he asked me if I needed anything done and I told him I needed a floor put in, and he asked if he couldn't do it if he could pay for it..um, sure, but I still think he'd be happier with an actual Domme.

I, however, would be quite happy with not having a concrete floor...


If you went into a negotiation type phase with him because you thought - hey, shopping could be kind of fun, sure -- what you will probably find is that his questions, which appear to be just for planning, are all meant to provide him wanking material. Where will you go? What will you  "make" him buy? Will you tell your friends about this experience?  Will you make him wear panties?  Etc...after you have sent him all the emails he needs to blow his load (cum, not money) you will not hear from him again.  No "shopping"" will ever happen. If he wanted to take a professional dominatrix from a dungeon shopping she'd set it up with him, but they have heard the "First, tell me what you will do to me, so I can be ready" wanker call enough times.

Akasha




moonvine -> RE: Submissives approaching me...why? (1/10/2008 6:41:46 PM)

I am in no way shape or form a Domme so he would not be getting play from/with me.  Like I said I told him about the local scene - there's a munch this Sat I think - and he wasn't interested.    But if he really wants to buy me stuff and he gets off simply on the act of buying me stuff (which, whatever, if that's someone's kink) then I have no problem with it.  I have a feeling I'm going to want electronic equipment and he's going to want to buy me lingerie...I just find the whole dynamic odd.




moonvine -> RE: Submissives approaching me...why? (1/10/2008 6:43:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Really? I hope you don't let him come over to do the housework-and find yourself getting ass-raped.

That mean old wet blanket-leatherist.[;)]


Yeah, I'd have people here, several.   Maybe I should just say tell him to call Home Depot up and pay for it and have the Home Depot people come install the floor:)




christine1 -> RE: Submissives approaching me...why? (1/10/2008 6:45:49 PM)

sometimes i wonder if they just troll the pics and go from there.  i've had a few sub men say they love me on their first message...i don't get it really, but i'm always polite in my response, i don't like to be rude, but at times i have to be factual and to the point.




moonvine -> RE: Submissives approaching me...why? (1/10/2008 6:46:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: moonvine

Yeah, that would be different..I think this guy just has some fantasies about financial servitude...he asked me if I needed anything done and I told him I needed a floor put in, and he asked if he couldn't do it if he could pay for it..um, sure, but I still think he'd be happier with an actual Domme.

I, however, would be quite happy with not having a concrete floor...


If you went into a negotiation type phase with him because you thought - hey, shopping could be kind of fun, sure -- what you will probably find is that his questions, which appear to be just for planning, are all meant to provide him wanking material. Where will you go? What will you  "make" him buy? Will you tell your friends about this experience?  Will you make him wear panties?  Etc...after you have sent him all the emails he needs to blow his load (cum, not money) you will not hear from him again.  No "shopping"" will ever happen. If he wanted to take a professional dominatrix from a dungeon shopping she'd set it up with him, but they have heard the "First, tell me what you will do to me, so I can be ready" wanker call enough times.

Akasha



These are good points, thanks!  I have a 20 page Amazon.com wishlist, I should just send him there:p  "Here's the url to my wishlist, enjoy."




Jeffff -> RE: Submissives approaching me...why? (1/10/2008 6:48:08 PM)

Men are horny....many will be whatever you want.......IF they can get laid..........biological imperative?.....got me

Jeff




moonvine -> RE: Submissives approaching me...why? (1/10/2008 6:48:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

sometimes i wonder if they just troll the pics and go from there.  i've had a few sub men say they love me on their first message...i don't get it really, but i'm always polite in my response, i don't like to be rude, but at times i have to be factual and to the point.


That's why I don't have a picture, here or on my vanilla Yahoo profile, though my Yahoo profile does have a drawing.




Muttling -> RE: Submissives approaching me...why? (1/10/2008 7:07:08 PM)

I'm not sure what to think of this situation.   I would be VERY cautious about it, but that is just me.




Vigilantejustice -> RE: Submissives approaching me...why? (1/10/2008 7:11:39 PM)

I have had a male sub (when my profile was still sub, not switch, but mentioned wanting to explore with females) send me mildly antagonistic messages. Ones that didn't explicitly break the rules outlined in my profile, but were just off the mark. The sub in question later admitted that he just wanted me to be "mean" to him. Maybe you're dealing with a similar situation?
-C




agoodgirl4Daddy -> RE: Submissives approaching me...why? (1/10/2008 7:21:10 PM)

Ya'll ever hear the expression.."you don't get something for nothing" ?? 

My bet is that the guy is full of hot air. 




Page: [1] 2   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875