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RE: Neglect - 12/28/2007 6:14:53 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

How long is too long before you consider talking about it with your sig/other or thinking about leaving them if you are being neglected, not noticed, nor appreciated for what you are doing.  In other words you are there but are invisible to your sig/other.






my Master b'stard seems have built neglect into his idea of domination

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Neglect - 12/28/2007 9:18:23 AM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		nevermind

< Message edited by swtnsparkling -- 12/28/2007 9:20:16 AM >

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to EternalNightling)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Neglect - 12/28/2007 12:37:26 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		7 minutes, minus 5.

I'd get a new man. yawwwwwn

let him play his game elsewhere. Life is too short.

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Neglect - 12/28/2007 12:53:47 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

How long is too long before you consider talking about it with your sig/other or thinking about leaving them if you are being neglected, not noticed, nor appreciated for what you are doing.  In other words you are there but are invisible to your sig/other.







I think that this would depend on the length of the relationship, if we lived together, shared bills etc.  More invested, the more to lose, the longer I may put up with feeling neglected.

I wait until I can separate my feelings of neglect from what is going on in reality. In other words, I try to sit on my feelings until I can put them in perspective. I find that if I wait until I sort out what I feel from what is happening, then I can communicate better. I wait until I am not upset anymore.

Daddy has taught me the three prong approach to stating unpleasant feelings.. it goes like this

1) When you do  [insert action]

2) I feel [insert feeling]

3) Would you please [insert possible solution]

This works fairly well.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Neglect - 12/28/2007 1:55:25 PM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		Practically speaking if one partner needs less, he tends to give the other less time. All it does is make her try harder to please and he knows this. There could be that realistic slant on the relationship that words and techniques won’t solve. If both are interested in the relationship, they are going to communicate the problems without even thinking about them. On the other hand all the talk in the world won’t help a lack of desire. Accept it or move on.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Neglect - 12/28/2007 2:43:37 PM   
IrishMist


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Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

FYI...im not currently in a relationship..this was just a question for all for feedback and it seems as someone had already asked this according to a response here.




Well then...

Since I am not in the relationship for 'attention'...it would not matter if my partner ignored me.

Of course, since this is only for 'future relationships' according to you..I am sure my answer will not matter one way or another.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Neglect - 12/28/2007 3:47:38 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

FYI...im not currently in a relationship..this was just a question for all for feedback and it seems as someone had already asked this according to a response here.




Well then...

Since I am not in the relationship for 'attention'...it would not matter if my partner ignored me.

Of course, since this is only for 'future relationships' according to you..I am sure my answer will not matter one way or another.


Every answer matters.  That response was to someone who was upset that this wasnt a real situation.  Why does it have to be? The forums are made for people seeking advice.  I appreciate helpful replies.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Neglect - 12/28/2007 4:05:06 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		The reason it would be better answered as a real situation is because it would have relational dynamics and a context.  It is fine to have some groundwork laid from the advice and experiences of others, but, as I expressed earlier, in the end she will have to be right back here to address the specifics of the situation if or when it does occur. 

I have to wonder why OP is seeking such advice....past history, low self-esteem, or purely intellectual quest (among a myriad of other possible reasons).  It doesn't really matter, I suppose, but it raises my concerns that there may be unhealthy relational and selection patterns that contribute to needing to nip such a thing in the bud in the first place.  Choose healthy partners and build on healthy relationship cornerstones from the start, even seeking help with this if needed, so that this is less likely to become an issue. 

Warm wishes,
lovingpet 

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Neglect - 12/28/2007 4:17:49 PM   
ELUSIVE1


Posts: 536
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

As long as it takes for me to decide that it's not healthy. That amount of time will vary from person to person.

Master Fire

great response, your replies always make so much sense  and I agree of course

_____________________________

"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality"

*Poe
http://alt.com/blog/ELUSIVE1NC
http://users.adultspace.com/ELUSIVE1NC/


(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Neglect - 12/28/2007 5:53:48 PM   
sweetstorm


Posts: 227
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

quote:

seems like blowjobs just about solve all the worlds problems!


LOL I'd bet blowjobs cause more problems than they solve


Yes and the wet towels means you need to do laundry.



Wet towels from blowjobs?????

Somebody isn't swallowing like a good girl!!!!!!  

_____________________________

You don't need a parachute to skydive.

You need a parachute to skydive twice.

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 50
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