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RE: Neglect - 12/27/2007 7:39:43 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

How long is too long before you consider talking about it with your sig/other or thinking about leaving them if you are being neglected, not noticed, nor appreciated for what you are doing.  In other words you are there but are invisible to your sig/other.







I wouldn't consider leaving them until I talked to them about the fact that I felt I was not a priority to them and possibly more than once depending on the relationship.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Neglect - 12/27/2007 7:41:19 PM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		hmmmm, seems like blowjobs just about solve all the worlds problems!

(in reply to OldBastardly1)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Neglect - 12/27/2007 7:43:46 PM   
OldBastardly1


Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline 		No, sorry, it wasn't meant for you. I was replying to the OP.

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad



(in reply to EternalNightling)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Neglect - 12/27/2007 7:45:41 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		This wasn't even a real situation???  Why bother to start the thread? 

lovingpet

(in reply to OldBastardly1)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Neglect - 12/27/2007 7:48:30 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

This wasn't even a real situation???  Why bother to start the thread? 

lovingpet


For feedback on any future relationships.  Plus it gives help if anyone else is currently experiencing this issue.

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Neglect - 12/27/2007 7:52:52 PM   
EternalNightling


Posts: 6
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		I think it was a good idea, but then again it applies to me and I'm too shy to post a thread of my own.. :)

If only a blowjob would solve my problem.. lol..

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Neglect - 12/27/2007 7:56:16 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EternalNightling

I think it was a good idea, but then again it applies to me and I'm too shy to post a thread of my own.. :)

If only a blowjob would solve my problem.. lol..


Could always try...just need a strappy

(in reply to EternalNightling)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Neglect - 12/27/2007 7:58:40 PM   
EternalNightling


Posts: 6
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		lol, maybe I should try faery..

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Neglect - 12/27/2007 7:59:27 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

hmmmm, seems like blowjobs just about solve all the worlds problems!


shhh don't let Ron hear you say that....

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to christine1)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Neglect - 12/27/2007 8:02:13 PM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

seems like blowjobs just about solve all the worlds problems!


LOL I'd bet blowjobs cause more problems than they solve

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to christine1)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Neglect - 12/27/2007 8:03:06 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

This wasn't even a real situation???  Why bother to start the thread? 

lovingpet


For feedback on any future relationships.  Plus it gives help if anyone else is currently experiencing this issue.



I am a rather verbal person.  If I feel ignored, I will say something lighthearted first.  If that does not bring around the desired actions or corrections, I will make a direct appeal.
Then again, it takes some people more physical actions to understand how you may feel about it.  Some people need to experience it first hand and be on the "other end of the stick" before they realize how you feel.

Anyhow, that being said; There are times when I do not speak to anyone, no matter how much I like them.  I will send them messages, just so they know that I haven't forgotten them, or I haven't abandoned them, but for direct contact, it won't happen. 
If this bothers the person, I can and will communicate with the understanding that when I am in a mood like that, I have nothing to give them so asking for any emotional support is like asking someone to light a fire with wet matches and kindling.
Strangely enough, I do not ask for any emotional contact at that point either.  I have come to the conclusion that when it happens, I haven't had enough energy and need to recharge.

Lady Jag


_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Neglect - 12/27/2007 8:05:11 PM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		laurell...who is ron?

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Neglect - 12/27/2007 8:05:26 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		Cute faery :)

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Neglect - 12/27/2007 8:06:32 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

quote:

seems like blowjobs just about solve all the worlds problems!


LOL I'd bet blowjobs cause more problems than they solve


Yes and the wet towels means you need to do laundry.

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Neglect - 12/27/2007 8:20:06 PM   
Tigrita


Posts: 484
Joined: 8/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		If something is bothering me, I talk about it, period.  I don't wait, that is only destructive.  My Man wants to know my feelings; witholding your feelings when they (or the ongoing situation that caused them) are hurting you in a bad way is destructive to a relationship because it is important information that your dominant should know in order to understand you keep you well.  Talk, don't hold back!  And do talk and give communication a chance before just walking out.  However, if all you get is lip service and no real shift to make things healthier, or the same destructive patern continues, then you just aren't right for eachother and time to move on.  JMO.

~ J


_____________________________

~ Tigrita

There is no right path, only the path you take.

Success is making life happen, versus just letting life happen to you.

"Many of the things I enjoy, I enjoy because I don't enjoy them." - Charlotte

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Neglect - 12/27/2007 8:25:48 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		Fair answer I suppose, but this will not give you what is actually needed to make that decision when the time comes.  Your relationship and life situation will have major roles to play in exactly how you would deal with this.  Take these comments as general guidelines, not gospel for any given situation.  The boards will be here if the situation becomes real (hoping it never does).  Write with specifics then and we can be of more help.  Keep posting love!

Warm wishes,
lovingpet

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Neglect - 12/27/2007 8:40:39 PM   
chickpea


Posts: 446
Joined: 8/3/2005
From: Los Angeles Area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tigrita

If something is bothering me, I talk about it, period.  I don't wait, that is only destructive.  My Man wants to know my feelings; witholding your feelings when they (or the ongoing situation that caused them) are hurting you in a bad way is destructive to a relationship because it is important information that your dominant should know in order to understand you keep you well.  Talk, don't hold back!  And do talk and give communication a chance before just walking out.  However, if all you get is lip service and no real shift to make things healthier, or the same destructive patern continues, then you just aren't right for eachother and time to move on.  JMO.

~ J



Ya, communication is good.  I would say I need attention, and find ways of showing my needs besides the verbal as well.  Sometimes talk is harder for some people... so maybe if you care about the other person you should be a little understanding if u care about the other person as a person.  Anyway, when a number of important needs aren't being met over and over for a long period of time, should actually talk about it first, and then even after that, if the other person simply is incapable or doesn't want or care enough to help address those issues, then ya move on.

(in reply to Tigrita)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Neglect - 12/27/2007 8:47:08 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		Communication is good.  but it is hard to communicate if they are neglecting you.  avoiding you in every possible way.  thus you are being invisible to them.  like when they change their schedules so they wake up when you go to bed.  Or they start drinking nightly so they are not coherent enough to talk.  Then i suppose the only choice would be to leave.

(in reply to chickpea)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Neglect - 12/27/2007 8:53:29 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

How long is too long before you consider talking about it with your sig/other or thinking about leaving them if you are being neglected, not noticed, nor appreciated for what you are doing.  In other words you are there but are invisible to your sig/other.






immediately - i don't wait around until the problem festers out of control


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Neglect - 12/28/2007 6:11:48 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EternalNightling

Thank you, I know it is very hard to get away, perhaps more than most..
I recently moved to an island in the middle of nowhere with a man I knew for 6 months..
As soon as I got here (having given up everything I had in the place I was before) he notified me that the relationship was not going to work.
He is distant, doesn't care to spend time with me and down right abusive when it comes to talking to me.. As a naturally Dominant person this is very awkward for me but as I have no place to go or anyone to run to, I'm pretty much stuck where I am until I can figure something else out..
(boy does it feel good to get that off my chest.. lol..)

having let the forum know you are on an island in the middle of nowehere I suspect you won't feel or be alone for very long.


(in reply to EternalNightling)
Profile   Post #: 40
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