RE: Female doms not finding decent subs?

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RE: Female doms not finding decent subs? - 12/24/2007 5:18:55 AM

Inyourthoughts

Posts: 5
Joined: 1/22/2005
Status: offline

I would state these are my personal opinions, gleaned from looking at profiles and 20 years in the scene, and a personal observation, it wasn't a personal attack on anybody, and I speak for myself, nobody else. As for people quoting one line from my profile out of context it would be worth pointing out that my subbie doesn't have to use a safe word, or input....during the scene....because we discuss anything new to try beforehand .try reading the whole passage.....it really does help. I appreciate people have taken the time to comment and if you disagree with my opinion that's cool, but stick to critising my opinion....not me..fair enough?

Lady H and Blyght...good for you..I am happy that as life has progressed you have become more adventurous........was just being a cynic...and if poly works for you...then cool....just isn't my bag...can never remember names anyway..

Your Hand..... I know what I am qualified to do..I have a box of certificates telling me, I am commenting..not preaching an alternative...also I am awake..otherwise I wouldn't have been able to type.....inherent awareness of your surroundings and using a keyboard tend to go hand in hand.......

Kindlady; not sure..would have to write to them and find out...and that smacks of effort...the non-pro dommes I know over here do get inundated when they become avaliable..think it is a case of market supply and demand...even in the lifestyle.

Petdave; probably true..but people are all different, and how they relate to, and are attractive to you, is different...I gave up on my submissive 5ft 8in green eyed auburn headed lady with the collection of vintage motorcycles, a boat, as PHD a personality like Victoria Wood, a basic grasp of carpentry and a love of cats and dogs years ago lol

MisPandora..thank you...it is an opinion......I haven't hot-footed it from the Mount bringing my edits on tablets of stone ( no direct bus route ) if you disagree I respect your opinion..nice corset by the way.

Psyvamp; again..if it works for you then I am happy with that....but it wouldn't for me...and I have seen things get a bit messy with other people's relationships when they have done this, because ground rules weren't set down initially or adhered to.

Laurell3/Juliana; comment on my opinions not me, do not quote selectively from another source to suit your own viewpoint...also on your comments on profiles....your's is a little concise...appears to be one letter of Morse code, S I believe. You also quote from Martin Luther King Jr. in your reply who I believe was quite good at seeing the other person's point of view without trying to score points.

Sweetstorm; again..don't quote out of context.......I expect I will have someone else pointing out my folly in refusing my partner permission to watch Eastenders on the grounds that it is a social commentry and I am denying her contact with that input vital to her well being, ignoring the fact it is cerebal gruel.

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RE: Female doms not finding decent subs? - 12/24/2007 5:26:51 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

It's rather ironic you give a laundry list of things you believe all Dommes should do which many have told you does not work for them but yet criticise others for not seeing your point of view. We do in fact all have opinions here on collarme and our kinks/interests/dynamics and even definitions of simple roles are all very different. One of the few opinions that we consistently seem to share is do not dictate or criticise others kinks.

While obviously you are new and may not have known that, I am attempting to explain to you that it is not personal, you will find a rather negative general response to any posts/threads that attempt to define kink or dynamics for others.

There is no requirement to have a profile to post on these boards and you may find many females wanting to avoid troll mail do not have them. If you do have one and make a judgemental thread, expect it to be quoted, yes, we can and do and will look at the poster and comment on it in support of our opinions, because you see, that's what we do on forums.

Welcome to the boards and happy holidays!

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 12/24/2007 5:32:14 AM >

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I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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RE: Female doms not finding decent subs? - 12/24/2007 5:27:29 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I'm not interested in your house, your job or your car.
I am turned off by you promoting them and your dungeon.
And you writing all about your extreme scenes and nothing about your personality is an extreme turn off.

I wouldn't respond to you for love nor money because there is nothing in your profile that gives a sense of you.

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RE: Female doms not finding decent subs? - 12/24/2007 11:52:23 AM

MystressDream

Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline

I can't help but be curious....

You are a Dom... no longer a submissive. You have decided that the Female Doms need your advice on how to attract the submissives they are looking for?? What made you think that a Dom could or should advise a Female Dom about how to go about things in the first place??

Considering all of the contacts most Female Doms get on here, compared to the contacts Male Doms get.... I wouldn't worry about us, if I were you. <smile>

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RE: Female doms not finding decent subs? - 12/24/2007 12:36:04 PM

kitttty

Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline

yeah, my profile says "no men at this time" and i get plenty of male subs calling, some of whom would probably make decent subs as they actually read my profile and provide an intelligent response.

I imagine that "crawl before me, worm' attracts plenty of guys.

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RE: Female doms not finding decent subs? - 12/24/2007 12:41:46 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

I personally found much of what the op offered to be very sound advice. I really don't think he was putting poly relationships down, just explaining that yes, there ARE subs who will not participate in one.
Often, the male Doms I've corresponded with assumed that because I am submissive, that I am open to everything, especially poly. That just isn't so for everyone.
He brought up the fact that your profile is what is going to make you or break you. If I don't like your profile, I won't be bothered to find out if I like YOU or not. Grammar and spelling are important, as are (at least for me) being witty and clever. If you can't hold my interest in the five minutes I'm spending perusing your profile, I seriously doubt you'd hold my interest in real life.
It does sometimes seem that dom(mes especially) do take the attitude that it's all about them. (I apologize in advance for that, but...I've seen a lot of it!) I once read somewhere that a Dom doesn't have to satisfy his/her sub's needs, but, a sub who isn't getting any of their needs met will not be around for long. Even in this life, there is still give and take.
No one is necessarily pointing at anyone else's profile and saying it's wrong. I think the tips he gave were well thought out and honest. Instead of taking it personally, if you're not getting the results you want, look over your profile carefully, and think about ways to attract the type of person you're looking for. His tips are actually a good starting point; take what you need and discard the rest.

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RE: Female doms not finding decent subs? - 12/24/2007 2:56:35 PM

NotNutsReally

Posts: 53
Joined: 10/6/2006
Status: offline

Female doms not finding decent subs? The answer is simple, send me an email...duh. lol
Happy Holidays all.

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RE: Female doms not finding decent subs? - 12/24/2007 4:10:57 PM

MasterDoug48

Posts: 9
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline

As far as I am concerned, even a sub has an opinion, until such a time as they inform the Dominant that they do not want or have one. At the end of the day a submissive is human after all, they do have feelings so please think about it before labeling anyone.

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RE: Female doms not finding decent subs? - 12/24/2007 4:20:13 PM

SL4V3M4YB3

Posts: 3506
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Inyourthoughts
text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text

I don't really understand what you are saying. Are you saying you have learnt to communicate through profiles?

Many things you mentioned are already common knowledge.

Also Dale Winton could have sued you had he found out so I suggest you read the TOS on Alt before you try something like that again.

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