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RE: Dealing With Frustration & Anger - 12/2/2007 1:45:30 AM   
NotYourAverageJo


Posts: 16
Joined: 12/2/2007
Status: offline 		I worked in a grocery store. After having worked there I think smashing up a good bit of their merchandise might make me feel temporarily elated. Customer service jobs are turning out to be... ahem... not my forté. Thanks for the suggestions... and the well wishes.

Part of me just wants to skip through the stages and get right to the acceptance part to see if it's any less, to put it mildly, displeasing. But in doing so I'm pretty much giving up on something incredibly important to me... something that affects my social and sexual life to an enormous degree. And when I consider the idea of abandoning hope it all just seems to perpetuate the cycle. I usually end up twice as mad or in some sort of depressed state.

(in reply to canupleaseme)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Dealing With Frustration & Anger - 12/2/2007 1:52:37 AM   
NotYourAverageJo


Posts: 16
Joined: 12/2/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks annabelle. I appreciate your response.

I'm kind of the sick one in this scenario as well. But it's not exactly a sickness. I tweaked the example to keep my particular problem out of the equation. And therefore I find it wholly ironic that you used the word impotent in your reply. That hedges on being just a little closer to the truth than the scenario I mentioned above.

I'm not sure why I'm reluctant to actually go into details. It's an anonymous forum for the most part, and moreso for me since I haven't exactly filled out much of a profile... to say nothing of including a photo.

Thinking about it... I really wonder why it is that I'm so unwilling to share that. I suppose it's something to think about.

Something else I feel I can take from your post is the suggestion to raise awareness. Maybe when I'm just a bit more comfortable in my own skin I'll do exactly that. It just might help me, and others in this position, find a long-term solution to this problem.

(in reply to hisannabelle)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Dealing With Frustration & Anger - 12/2/2007 1:58:04 AM   
NotYourAverageJo


Posts: 16
Joined: 12/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mastaziel

Oh god...what have I done! Um...Dirty NotYourAverageJo???...."do you feel lucky...punk?"


Lately... not so much.

Actually... and I know this is a bit of a hyperbole... I've felt like the Cosmos are out to kick me in the pants.

My alternate theory involves the acceptance of past lives as a reality. And if that's the case... I must have been superbly shitty* in them to warrant what must be some sort of colossal fuck-up.

*We're talking running down little old ladies while in chariots... or maybe dropkicking UMs into viper filled pits just for grins and giggles.

(in reply to Mastaziel)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Dealing With Frustration & Anger - 12/2/2007 2:15:26 AM   
Mastaziel


Posts: 67
Joined: 11/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NotYourAverageJo

*We're talking running down little old ladies while in chariots... or maybe dropkicking UMs into viper filled pits just for grins and giggles.



What...you mean you don't do that now? Dude! You're missing all the fun!

Life in general can be a real $#!7fest, easiest way I deal with rage, stress, anger and frustration. Go a little crazy now to vent, so you don't go alot crazy later. I mean do things, little things, for FUN! You're talking about venting by boxing is great, or if you get into cars or what ever you decide on that's creative will help. But it's all those seconds in between that will get you if you can't find some peace. So be a kid sometimes, have a little fun, but release some of the $#!7 by going a little fruity in the head at times.

Works for Me, when My sanity gets a little frayed  take it out, clean it off and put it on a shelf for a while.....next to My sense of direction and My time management skills. Which leaves Me more room for My massive ego and amazing sense of humour.

Hugs

_____________________________

~~~:Torment is just another word for affection:~~~

(in reply to NotYourAverageJo)
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RE: Dealing With Frustration & Anger - 12/2/2007 2:29:38 AM   
NotYourAverageJo


Posts: 16
Joined: 12/2/2007
Status: offline 		*Laughs* Okay, that was amusing.

I did worry, at one point, about going a lot crazy. And I can probably talk a good game, but I'm not huge on being chased by the police on the ten o'clock news.

I'm also one of those wussy dominant types... the ones that LOVE to dish it... but just don't have a taste for it. Yeah. We're talking pain.

That's kinda why I was never the jump-off-the-bridge or bite-the-bullet type when I just didn't feel like dealing with anything or anyone any more. Another reason is the fear of the unknown. I can get on a rollarcoaster without thinking that it's going to come crashing out of the sky. No problem with that leap of faith. But... faith in some Great Beyond... not so much.

Those two things aside (pretty much deal breakers)... there was a time when I might have have worked my ass off and saved up enough money so that my parents wouldn't have to deal with funeral costs. I suppose that's less of going crazy... and more... giving up.

(in reply to Mastaziel)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Dealing With Frustration & Anger - 12/2/2007 2:59:43 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		You need to good private place to go to do this...  Screaming out loud does help, so does chopping wood into little pieces, or anything such as beating on a punching bag.  Hell, beat the crap out a pillow.   Excellent time to tear down walls if you've been thinking about some household remodeling project.  

Being angry and frustrated because of things such as you described is natural.  However, your outlet allows you to release the energy.   You can even try working out, doing push ups or going out for a run/jog/walk.   Whenever I'm feeling stressed I tend to want to go off to some place natural (woods, river) take a hike.   Being around places with water helps me reconnect with a more peaceful state of mind. 



  

(in reply to NotYourAverageJo)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Dealing With Frustration & Anger - 12/2/2007 3:01:54 AM   
Mastaziel


Posts: 67
Joined: 11/27/2007
Status: offline 		Yeah, giving up isn't the best way to deal. I don't believe it's wrong to feel like that sometimes, but definitely talking to the nut cracker about it would be a good idea. But you did say that was a while ago, hopefully you're slowly getting your feet underneath you again. I figure all you're looking for now is a nudge or two in how to cope and stay on top. $#!7 will happen, and you ARE on a roller coaster. But you'll be ok as long as you're still fighting and looking for help. You're talking, you're searching, so you'll get there. Just don't block this from your family and friends. You don't even have to say anything, just spend time with the people in your life that matter. Be around them and know they are there, even if they can't help.

quote:

I'm also one of those wussy dominant types... the ones that LOVE to dish it... but just don't have a taste for it. Yeah. We're talking pain.


Um...yeah. Know what you mean here, I can handle pain ok...I just don't like getting hurt.
And I'm sure some of the Dominant Ladies here would have Me squealing like a little girl in seconds. I mean they're nice to talk to and all, but the CBT thingy...well...Mr Winky was meant to run wild and be free, not be choked and collared and brought to heel ,or be ground under heel either. Bad Ladies! Um....you don't need to tell them I said that though.

Is ok I guess, I can bundle all My insecurities and downfalls up and use them as fuel to abuse some poor helpless little girl of My own one day. sigh, almost feel sorry for My victim...almost.

Hugs.


_____________________________

~~~:Torment is just another word for affection:~~~

(in reply to NotYourAverageJo)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Dealing With Frustration & Anger - 12/2/2007 3:19:24 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		This is gonna sound like a paradox or something a monk would say..

In order to regain control of yourself, you must stop trying to control something you have no control over.  When you do, it will no longer have control of you.

The thing about being DOM, is the natural urge to want to control shit.  However, the more responsibilities or things you try to control.  The more of your time, thought, attention and mental energy it steals from you.   If this makes any sense to you.







(in reply to NotYourAverageJo)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Dealing With Frustration & Anger - 12/2/2007 4:29:54 AM   
TysGalilah


Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline 		swimming
   if you have access to a pool..or a gym with a pool....swimming laps can take the frustration out of me.  If I need to cry, the tears flow easily there..and screaming into the water as I do laps is really cathartic. I can think and pound into that water as much as I need.......when done I am exhausted, and cleansed.
 
good luck NYAJo  and kudos to you  for looking for a "healthy" outlet for your emotions..
   ( vs stuffing or drowning them )



_____________________________

galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to NotYourAverageJo)
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RE: Dealing With Frustration & Anger - 12/2/2007 4:42:48 AM   
InkedMaster


Posts: 342
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		I get on the bike and go for a looooooooong ride, just something bout listening to that un-baffled thumpin 88ci with the wind in my face, clears my head...

_____________________________

TOURETTE SYNDROME: It's no mother f*cking joke, you God d*mn c*ck sucking f*ck!

"I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head." - John F. Kennedy

-Owner of eyesopened- and damn PROUD of her!


(in reply to hisannabelle)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Dealing With Frustration & Anger - 12/2/2007 5:08:49 AM   
MissKitt


Posts: 4
Joined: 12/2/2007
Status: offline 		Have you considered volunteering?  Shoveling snow/mowing yards/doing physical chores for the eldery or others unable to do them?  It may give you both the physical outlet mentioned and the added feeling of having helped others.

(in reply to NotYourAverageJo)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Dealing With Frustration & Anger - 12/2/2007 5:24:07 AM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		~fast reply~

Karate. For many reasons.

(in reply to MissKitt)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Dealing With Frustration & Anger - 12/2/2007 5:36:43 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		When I am really angry I walk, and I walk, and I walk somemore. I think about what I am really angry about, and I even have conversations with myself about it in my head until I feel better.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to NotYourAverageJo)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Dealing With Frustration & Anger - 12/2/2007 5:59:18 AM   
Dari


Posts: 192
Joined: 10/8/2007
Status: offline 		Couple of suggestions - you're in California I see, though I don't know where.

But - if there are areas that have been devastated by fires near you, go volunteer to help clean those out, or to work with people who have lost their homes or their stuff.  It'll be physical, hard labor, but you'll be better for doing something to help your fellow man (or woman).

Alternately, a good, traditional martial arts school will help you with a lot of that.  Depending on where you live, I could recommend one.  I've never been so exhausted and drained (and peaceful) as the day I walked into class and stated:  "I'm very angry today. I need to hit something."  I never did manage to hit something, but at the end it was all I could do to walk - so I guess I got my frustration out anyway!


(in reply to hisannabelle)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Dealing With Frustration & Anger - 12/2/2007 7:35:36 AM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		Reading this with interest because I am dealing with a very frustrating situation at work right now. In fact I was up four hours in the middle of the night because I couldn't sleep because I had the scenario playing out in my head in an endless loop. I got up and chatted with someone I'd never met on the comp for a little while. Somehow it got my mind off of that obsessed Merry go Round and I was able to put it aside, realize I COULD handle the situation (I was really just angry that I HAD to handle the situation) and I was able to get some sleep.

One thing I did was I imagined that I was someone else. A WonderWoman of infinate grace, dignity, poise, confidence and charm that could handle ANY situation. I imagined how she would have dealt with this situation, and when I did so, I realized I had a long way to go and therefore DID have much greater control over the situation than I imagined. The bottom line for me, in any difficult situation, is for me to realize (and I mean really realize-not just hear the words) that the situation is in my life as a learning tool.   


(in reply to Dari)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Dealing With Frustration & Anger - 12/2/2007 7:37:51 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Journal, split wood, take up primal scream therapy. work out to the point of exhaustion, bake bread. Kneading dough requires a lot of punching.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to hisannabelle)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Dealing With Frustration & Anger - 12/2/2007 12:05:46 PM   
LadyLegs


Posts: 176
Status: offline 		Cheap crockery at a dollar store.  I love the sounds when smashing it.  I eventually have to laugh at the melodrama of it all.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Dealing With Frustration & Anger - 12/2/2007 12:20:14 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		I go to history channel and play the game shoot out ya can run around shoot peeps and blow them up kinda of fun lol :)

(in reply to LadyLegs)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Dealing With Frustration & Anger - 12/2/2007 12:29:08 PM   
wisteriaV


Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline 		Make bread. You can attack the dough, swear at it, pound on it, kneed the hell out of it. When your done, if theres anything left bake until its rock hard and smash it outside against something cement or brick and then let the birds clean up the mess.

_____________________________

Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Dealing With Frustration & Anger - 12/2/2007 12:31:34 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I have not heard anyone suggest having very active sex or a scene. Perhaps it is just me, but when I am supremely frustrated, nothing relieves my stress more than that or a deep massage.

But, the caveat is, if you are truly angry, I guess you would have to make sure you were not going to do something in anger.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 40
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