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Do you ever see profiles that make you cringe? - 11/26/2007 4:43:40 AM

shootingstar67

Posts: 195
Joined: 10/29/2007
Status: offline

It might just be that I am over 35 and that I have had the misfortune to experience a very dark side of BDSM.
But some profiles made by fellow female submissives make me cringe. They seem to be written from pure fantasy. I think to myself " boy are you asking for it"

I almost want to email them about it but what stops me is I think I might be just too sensitive because of my past.

What about you? Do you ever see profiles that make you worry about the wellbeing/safety of the person?

_____________________________

I am a Female Submissive exploring these boards.

Post #: 1

RE: Do you ever see profiles that make you cringe? - 11/26/2007 4:47:37 AM

littlehumbledone

Posts: 72
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline

On occasions yes, I have a few times said something and been told to mind my own business, *shrug* so thats what I do.

_____________________________

...
I don't need anyone to blow out another woman's candle to make mine burn brighter.

(in reply to shootingstar67)

Post #: 2

RE: Do you ever see profiles that make you cringe? - 11/26/2007 4:51:17 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I have, often. But I also assume half of them are not going to follow through. I believe in letting someone make their own mistakes.
I am not sure what makes me cringe worse... the ultra "no limits" complete newbie slaves out there, or the brand new ultra controlling dominants who have never even as much as held a whip but who are ready to complete micromanage and control a slave. Both extremes worry me, as much for the person who writes it as the one(s) who get involved.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to littlehumbledone)

Post #: 3

RE: Do you ever see profiles that make you cringe? - 11/26/2007 4:52:04 AM

NMleather

Posts: 1
Joined: 8/29/2004
Status: offline

too many use websites as an escape from their real life/relationships and can make a "new world" that they are in control of and change change at will. Just skip over the fantasy cyber players . One in about 200 is real and honest in cyberland

(in reply to shootingstar67)

Post #: 4

RE: Do you ever see profiles that make you cringe? - 11/26/2007 4:55:25 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shootingstar67

It might just be that I am over 35 and that I have had the misfortune to experience a very dark side of BDSM.
But some profiles made by fellow female submissives make me cringe. They seem to be written from pure fantasy. I think to myself " boy are you asking for it"

I almost want to email them about it but what stops me is I think I might be just too sensitive because of my past.

What about you? Do you ever see profiles that make you worry about the wellbeing/safety of the person?

Nope. I don't peruse profiles.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to shootingstar67)

Post #: 5

RE: Do you ever see profiles that make you cringe? - 11/26/2007 4:59:12 AM

Mezrem

Posts: 311
Joined: 11/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

I have, often. But I also assume half of them are not going to follow through. I believe in letting someone make their own mistakes.
I am not sure what makes me cringe worse... the ultra "no limits" complete newbie slaves out there, or the brand new ultra controlling dominants who have never even as much as held a whip but who are ready to complete micromanage and control a slave. Both extremes worry me, as much for the person who writes it as the one(s) who get involved.

DV

I would have to agree with the above and god help the "No limits Person" who gets involved with the dominant who is 18 and has mastered ( by his/her estimation) many realms of play.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 6

RE: Do you ever see profiles that make you cringe? - 11/26/2007 5:05:50 AM

shootingstar67

Posts: 195
Joined: 10/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NMleather

too many use websites as an escape from their real life/relationships and can make a "new world" that they are in control of and change change at will. Just skip over the fantasy cyber players . One in about 200 is real and honest in cyberland

You joined CM back in 2004 and you made your very first post in my thread?

I can't help but feel honored ...lol..

I suggest you just humor me, me and my narcissisiam..

Anyways..welcome to the forums!

I didn't think about the cybersubs. That could be the intention of some of them..even though they don't say it.
You would assume people come here to actually hook up. There are SO many other places the cybersubs could go.

_____________________________

I am a Female Submissive exploring these boards.

(in reply to NMleather)

Post #: 7

RE: Do you ever see profiles that make you cringe? - 11/26/2007 5:14:48 AM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

Yes, I see many of them. One of the very first profiles I read when I signed up on CM as a complete newbie was a young woman who had been a slave for several years and was now seeking a new owner. She had been struggling in college and experiencing some depression so she went to see a school counselor. This counselor suggested to her that she was "submissive" and referred her to a friend of his who specialized in this kind of issue. This "friend" told her that she was submissive and encouraged her to become a slave to he and his wife so she did. Four years later her Master passed away and the wife was moving overseas to live with family. They had given her 6 months allowance to live off of to help her find a new Master. She stated in her profile that she felt pain like everyone else and believed that God had given her a purpose in life to experience pain for others pleasure. She said that she needed a very responsible Master because she was so submissive that she could not say no to any request.

It was a painful read.

At the time I was completely blown away and had no idea if a story like this was representational of the lifestyle or not.

(in reply to Mezrem)

Post #: 8

RE: Do you ever see profiles that make you cringe? - 11/26/2007 5:29:19 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

there have been profiles by doms that i ended up reporting because they were describing activities with UMs

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to shootingstar67)

Post #: 9

RE: Do you ever see profiles that make you cringe? - 11/26/2007 6:00:10 AM

sereneonline

Posts: 2
Joined: 10/26/2007
Status: offline

What does UM mean?

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 10

RE: Do you ever see profiles that make you cringe? - 11/26/2007 6:05:04 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

Definitely....The ones lacking high quality tit shots.

_____________________________

(in reply to sereneonline)

Post #: 11

RE: Do you ever see profiles that make you cringe? - 11/26/2007 6:24:49 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I figure that over the top profiles are people who are playing on-line or living in a fantasy world. They don't bother me.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to sereneonline)

Post #: 12

RE: Do you ever see profiles that make you cringe? - 11/26/2007 6:34:49 AM

BOUNTYHUNTER

Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline

Yes there are several profiles on collar me that makes me grind my teeth not so much as for the content but the spelling.Just about every other freakin' word, it unbelievable..You ask yourself should I make a suggestion about spell check,strokes my beard nah..I have reported one profile with under lying tones about ums and such....be well bounty

_____________________________

US going to hell in a hand basket/

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 13

RE: Do you ever see profiles that make you cringe? - 11/26/2007 6:36:53 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I figure that over the top profiles are people who are playing on-line or living in a fantasy world. They don't bother me.

I agree with this. Often we talk about the games males play on the personal side and to me this is more of a female version. Often they have no intention of ever really meeting anyone or they have in their way written out a scenario they know would never happen. If that one magical person appears just maybe they would get close to it. Of course the magical person will never appear before them.

I always advice save frustration and write people that appear realistic and sincere about a relationship and leave the others to their daydreams. The profiles that make one cringe are either not serious or obviously not for you. To often on the other side men want to fill out an order form and females way over romanticize these relationships.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 14

RE: Do you ever see profiles that make you cringe? - 11/26/2007 7:04:49 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

Yes, I see many of them. One of the very first profiles I read when I signed up on CM as a complete newbie was a young woman who had been a slave for several years and was now seeking a new owner. She had been struggling in college and experiencing some depression so she went to see a school counselor. This counselor suggested to her that she was "submissive" and referred her to a friend of his who specialized in this kind of issue. This "friend" told her that she was submissive and encouraged her to become a slave to he and his wife so she did. Four years later her Master passed away and the wife was moving overseas to live with family. They had given her 6 months allowance to live off of to help her find a new Master. She stated in her profile that she felt pain like everyone else and believed that God had given her a purpose in life to experience pain for others pleasure. She said that she needed a very responsible Master because she was so submissive that she could not say no to any request.

It was a painful read.

At the time I was completely blown away and had no idea if a story like this was representational of the lifestyle or not.

I have read a few of these profiles also and have talked to a few submissives in the last 10 years who would have been easy to take advantage of because once you showed any strength at all, they became more submissive and acquiescent. While it would have been flattering to think it was all due to my own magnificent presence...~grins~...my own realistic sense of self and a sense of curiosity led me to ask if this was their usual reaction to any display of strength. Their answer was inevitably "yes".

(in reply to TNstepsout)

Post #: 15

RE: Do you ever see profiles that make you cringe? - 11/26/2007 7:07:59 AM

kittyinpink

Posts: 83
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline

Yeah, one of my exs got on here after I mentioned it in passing. His making a profile ain't so bad, but I gotta wonder where he managed to get 10 years of experience and became in "expert" in about 20 different things since I last saw him 5 months ago. That's the part that makes me cringe. He didn't know the difference between a sub and slave last time I talked t o him.

_____________________________

He knew he should leave
That this could only turn cold
She was a bad bad girl
So he told her so

http://youralice.livejournal.com/

(in reply to toservez)

Post #: 16

RE: Do you ever see profiles that make you cringe? - 11/26/2007 7:27:33 AM

slavemaia

Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shootingstar67

It might just be that I am over 35 and that I have had the misfortune to experience a very dark side of BDSM.
But some profiles made by fellow female submissives make me cringe. They seem to be written from pure fantasy. I think to myself " boy are you asking for it"

I almost want to email them about it but what stops me is I think I might be just too sensitive because of my past.

What about you? Do you ever see profiles that make you worry about the wellbeing/safety of the person?

Can't decide if it's the i extreme type profiles i.e. "you will be kept in a cage 24/7 unless i use you" etc. from Dominants or the profiles with basically a user name only that make me cringe more. i often wonder what those who give no information are here for. But as it's been stated already, i've found it best to keep my thoughts to myself and don't open the door for trouble.

_____________________________

She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to shootingstar67)

Post #: 17

RE: Do you ever see profiles that make you cringe? - 11/26/2007 7:43:29 AM

plzyou

Posts: 4
Joined: 6/23/2007
Status: offline

UM = Un Mentionables = children

(in reply to sereneonline)

Post #: 18

RE: Do you ever see profiles that make you cringe? - 11/26/2007 7:44:58 AM

Master96

Posts: 593
Joined: 2/13/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittyinpink

Yeah, one of my exs got on here after I mentioned it in passing. His making a profile ain't so bad, but I gotta wonder where he managed to get 10 years of experience and became in "expert" in about 20 different things since I last saw him 5 months ago. That's the part that makes me cringe. He didn't know the difference between a sub and slave last time I talked t o him.

LOL.......

_____________________________

Master96,

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Understand that actions will always speak louder than words.

Before you speak, ask yourself..
Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?
Does it improve upon the silence? - Sai Baba

(in reply to kittyinpink)

Post #: 19

RE: Do you ever see profiles that make you cringe? - 11/26/2007 7:50:53 AM

secretagentgirl

Posts: 70
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline

I mainly feel sorry for people who seem to need to find validation by being owned by someone. I'm all in favor of life choices and if being owned is cool for someone, great.... I just want to cry when I can tell so clearly that the person has no self esteem or even meaning to live without someone owning them and telling them what to do and make choices for them.
I feel like they see a D/s relationship as a way out of the uncertainly of regular relationships...and I can't help but think that they'll be let down at some point.

Those are the ones that pain me to read.

(in reply to Master96)

Post #: 20

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