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RE: play standards - 11/24/2007 8:55:24 AM

beltainefaerie

Posts: 610
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AnimusRex, I laughed so hard at that.

To the OP, I also only play with those I know. Mostly it is due to my husband's rules for me, but I'm not sure I'd be comfortable playing with strangers anyway. I do really enjoy play parties, though. I generally go with 1-3 people I enjoy playing with and we have a great scene together, or several, but we also enjoy watching what others are doing. Play parties can be a great way to get new ideas, and sometimes find out that you are into things you never would have dreamed up on your own. I also just enjoy watching other people doing the things that make them happy, whether they are my kinks or not. You don't actually have to participate in the action just to attend a party, and in fact, when I was lucky enough to chat with Midori after a lecture I attended, she recommended that I just get a feel for the people and location the first time I attend a party and not play at all. Most experienced players seem to say the same thign. (not to say that people can't play the first time if they wish, but it certainly made me less nervous to knowthat it wasn't expected)

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Post #: 41

RE: play standards - 11/24/2007 9:21:13 AM

daddyncherry

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AnimusRex......

That was awesome!

OP....Don't worry so much about fitting in or others' expectations....the only expectations you have to concern yourself with are your own and whoever your M or D would be. The rest? They don't come home with you, they don't live in your soul and they won't be there with you when you really need someone-so their expectations are non-consequencial really.

That being said...

i would play with a stranger but only if A) they weren't a stranger to my Daddy/Master or B) if they were a friend of a friend in the lifestyle....in either situation they would be acting in accordance with my Daddy's wishes and so they'd kind of be an extension of him....He is the one i have the real connection with and the idea of someone else using me for His pleasure and their own would be hot to me.

So far i have only played with my Daddy, except for some random touches from some females who were present a few times....this coming weekend i will most likey play with some others and i'm looking forward to it.

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Post #: 42

RE: play standards - 11/24/2007 10:39:48 AM

SimplyMichael

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Doing BDSM is "wrong" in societies eyes. I never quite get those who come into BDSM and then worry about what is right or wrong in a social sense. Is it emotionally healthy for you? If it is, do it lots, if it isnt' don't do it.

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Post #: 43

RE: play standards - 11/24/2007 11:32:40 AM

Griswold

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Joined: 2/12/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: shootingstar67

Is it wrong not to want to play with a stranger? I mean at play parties. Is it too hopelessly prudish to want to be close friends first/

I used to think that way as well...but I discovered that in the exact amount of time it takes me to ask them their sign, we can bond unusually well and in most cases I probably at that point know more than I want to about them anyway.

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RE: play standards - 11/24/2007 11:45:24 AM

LadyHibiscus

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Not trying to derail the thread here, but what do folks do for play, or scouting out a top's style, if they are not watching him/her in action first?

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RE: play standards - 11/24/2007 12:30:31 PM

RRafe

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

I'm a bit wary about playing with strangers. They have a tendency to get attached sometimes-but we don't know each other-and that can lead to hard feelings later. I'd rather do it with someone with possibilities.

too funny, I am beyond that newbie stage of falling head over heals with any man that spanks the arse...
I have been doing play parties since I was a newbie though--I have two freinds that are long time Masters that give demonstrations, and have used me as their demo slut...after the scene many times the men watching want to try what they just witnessed...while I am not a 'crash test dummy' I really don't mind them trying on me under the guidance of the friend that I am there with...I have scened at many public dungeons, public and private play parties...I am a masochist, some people like to see that, and while I don't have the perfect body, I am comfortable in my skin...

It's not too funny,when you are a topo-and just giving someone a simple spanking gets them obssessed enough over you to be a pain about it. But I agree that it's more likely to happen with a newbie bottom. The old hands learn how to deal with infatuation.

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Post #: 46

RE: play standards - 11/24/2007 12:33:04 PM

YourhandMyAss

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I never listend to what momma said about not talking to strangers lol.

quote:

ORIGINAL: childoftheshadow

And, my momma always told me not to talk to strangers :)

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Post #: 47

RE: play standards - 11/24/2007 2:16:59 PM

denika

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I'm with you on the prudish boat.... As a masochist, I'm not going to let someone I barely know hurt me, it's far too personal an experience. Not to mention not all that safe.

If casual works for you tho, you have to do what works. But watch them play before hand with other's, gauge if what they do is something you want to experience and will they be the right person to take you there.

Ultimatly it comes down to what choice you make. I don't do random play, I would spend more time being worried about my safety than enjoying the experience.

Wolf's denika

< Message edited by denika -- 11/24/2007 2:17:59 PM >

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RE: play standards - 11/24/2007 3:32:11 PM

AquaticSub

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Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: shootingstar67

Is it wrong not to want to play with a stranger? I mean at play parties. Is it too hopelessly prudish to want to be close friends first/

No. Play with who you want to play with. If you don't want to, don't.

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Post #: 49

RE: play standards - 11/24/2007 4:30:51 PM

Homburg

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Joined: 10/11/2007
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Been to play parties, but only played with people I'm very familiar with at them. This may change tonight, as I'll be at a party where the only person I'll know is a fellow Dom. *shrug* If I find someone there that rings my bell, I'll play. If not, I'll watch. I'm bringing a coupla hundred yards of rope and a few implements just in case though

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RE: play standards - 11/24/2007 5:27:25 PM

shootingstar67

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

quote:

ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

I'm a bit wary about playing with strangers. They have a tendency to get attached sometimes-but we don't know each other-and that can lead to hard feelings later. I'd rather do it with someone with possibilities.

too funny, I am beyond that newbie stage of falling head over heals with any man that spanks the arse...
I have been doing play parties since I was a newbie though--I have two freinds that are long time Masters that give demonstrations, and have used me as their demo slut...after the scene many times the men watching want to try what they just witnessed...while I am not a 'crash test dummy' I really don't mind them trying on me under the guidance of the friend that I am there with...I have scened at many public dungeons, public and private play parties...I am a masochist, some people like to see that, and while I don't have the perfect body, I am comfortable in my skin...

It's not too funny,when you are a topo-and just giving someone a simple spanking gets them obssessed enough over you to be a pain about it. But I agree that it's more likely to happen with a newbie bottom. The old hands learn how to deal with infatuation.

I think a submissve is much more likely to get attached then a masochist. Isn't being a masochist more about the senation on the body and a submissive more about the mind?

For me the thing is extremely emotional and a mind thing all the way. It is not like I have to be commited but I do have to know the person outside of play.

However I am thinking of being a top just for the mind expanding aspects of it. Now i can see myself playing with a stranger as a top because the act of topping is less emotional(at least for me0

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RE: play standards - 11/24/2007 5:32:43 PM

IrishMist

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quote:

Isn't being a masochist more about the senation on the body and a submissive more about the mind?

No, not necessarily. For some, it's the sensation that brings the mind full circle.

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RE: play standards - 11/24/2007 7:32:49 PM

RRafe

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When you play with a newbie-they themselves don't really know yet.. And things that are very intense, or reactions to someone who gives off an intense enegry during a scene can have a really profound effect on them.

Especially if they read more into aftercare, than is actually there. I can speak about this not being serious in prenegotiations all I like-but in most instances-it's not going to make any real difference on the actual outcome of how I affect a woman after the fact..

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RE: play standards - 11/25/2007 1:01:55 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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I am more concerned that the OP continues to seek external validation as a way to set her personal guidelines- despite being told several times that it will not lead her to what she needs for herself.

It's rare that I play with strangers anymore, but I'm certainly still open to it. That's my choice.

Make your own choice for yourself.

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