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Do you get kinkier the older you get? - 11/9/2007 5:26:31 AM

pompeii

Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline

Is it just me, or do others feel they get kinkier and less inhibited the older they get?

For me, I've loved this lifestyle since I was a school-age child - I just didn't know how to recognize the feelings. My play with girlfriends was always restrained, low key, suggestive, without being overt. As I matured, my play became more realistic, migrating from holding her down for our pleasure to tying her hands & blindfolding her with anything convenient to eventually ensuring a convenient tie or scarf was always handy before I started.

Fast forwarding, I have an entire toy bag and wardrobe, and I even buy my beds with BDSM in mind, ensuring nice sturdy bedposts and the like.

My question.
- Is it just me or do others feel they've matured, more comfortably, and grown kinkier with age - even though the initial sensual feelings of erotic control are the same?

Post #: 1

RE: Do you get kinkier the older you get? - 11/9/2007 5:37:45 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

Personally, I think we end up with more of the means to pursue our kinkiness as we get older. More disposable income to buy the toys and beds and such. A greater comfort level and acceptance for who and what we are allowing us to more freely express who and what we are. More of the means to achieve what we set out to do.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to pompeii)

Post #: 2

RE: Do you get kinkier the older you get? - 11/9/2007 5:45:26 AM

sammiebabygirl

Posts: 465
Joined: 10/23/2004
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

Is it just me, or do others feel they get kinkier and less inhibited the older they get?

Kinkier, definitely. Less inhibited, I hope not. I barely have any as it is, which is what gets me in the trouble I get into. LOL

jen

_____________________________

"Men are like pianos. When they get upright, i feel GRAND!!!"

http://charldine.com/jen2820

(in reply to pompeii)

Post #: 3

RE: Do you get kinkier the older you get? - 11/9/2007 6:17:38 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

nope was already Kink embedded when was born :)

(in reply to sammiebabygirl)

Post #: 4

RE: Do you get kinkier the older you get? - 11/9/2007 6:19:11 AM

MrSpectacular

Posts: 1153
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

I think it is normal as we get older to assert our wants and beliefs a little more.

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Yes I am Spectacular and they are real!

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Post #: 5

RE: Do you get kinkier the older you get? - 11/9/2007 6:20:50 AM

wisteriaV

Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline

When I hit 40 the sexual doors were blown open and it was like an endorphine freedom that I had never felt before. Now that Im getting close to 45 its only getting better. Thankfully Master has adjusted well to this lol.

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Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 6

RE: Do you get kinkier the older you get? - 11/9/2007 6:26:19 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

I think as someone gets older and experiences more things you become more confident and comfortable with your needs and wants. As a result of that you know what works for you and just feel more comfortable about getting it and know how to a little better.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to pompeii)

Post #: 7

RE: Do you get kinkier the older you get? - 11/9/2007 6:46:42 AM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

Is it just me, or do others feel they get kinkier and less inhibited the older they get?
....
My question.
- Is it just me or do others feel they've matured, more comfortably, and grown kinkier with age - even though the initial sensual feelings of erotic control are the same?

As I mature in age I find that my kinks are expanding, not because I am becoming less inhibited but because I have learned more, experienced more and my horizons broaden with each new experience. Things that I never considered attempting, I am now exploring. Some of those things I don't care for and I can say that I have tried them and they just didn't work for me, and some I enjoy and incorporate in my play and my life.

Going beyond that, I equate my kinkiness to spicy foods... stay with me for just a minute. When I first began eating spicy foods I was eating things that were "mild" they tasted good and I enjoyed them. As time went on I moved to "medium", then "hot" and it just required more heat for me to consider something to be spicy, but it still has to taste good, I don't eat spicy foods just for the heat. The mild still tasted good, but I was always looking to try something hotter. The same is true with my kink. There are things that I still incorporate in play and life that I would consider "mild" kink and I still enjoy them, they still give me pleasure. I am always looking for something that I might enjoy more, something that might be just a bit kinkier than the last. And it takes a little more for me to consider something to be kinky. Call me a thrill-seeker, you would be exactly right.

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to pompeii)

Post #: 8

RE: Do you get kinkier the older you get? - 11/9/2007 6:54:36 AM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

i feel that when i hit a quarter of a century i will be even more kinky...i think i am going to have to get into scat or having sex with cars or something to get kinkier tho...i don't wanna be kinkier.....Daddy?

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One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to yourMissTress)

Post #: 9

RE: Do you get kinkier the older you get? - 11/9/2007 6:55:24 AM

vixenkneels

Posts: 94
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: LAKE OF THE OZARKS, MISSOURI
Status: offline

Just a few weeks shy of turning 61 years old I find that I know more about myself each day...know what I need, want and what I can handle. With this self-knowledge comes loss of fear of what others will think of me, of my kinks. The desire to experience all I can in the seemingly brief life I have left to live allows me to try anything and everything at least once...if I don't like it I don't do it again, but if I do like it...look out!!!

The sexual freedoms that come with age are absolutely profound and I find myself comparing my life today with my life at 35 or 40 and I wouldn't change a thing and look forward to living the rest of my life at the BDSM "buffet table".

_____________________________

I am your servant. I shall not be free. You will protect me; you will keep me safe; you will guard me. You will keep me sound; you will protect me from every demon. -- Ancient Egyptian woman's slave contract

(in reply to yourMissTress)

Post #: 10

RE: Do you get kinkier the older you get? - 11/9/2007 7:02:34 AM

Dnomyar

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Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

I agree with sweetnurseBBW and vixenkneels. Im older than both and I am much more acvtive now than when I was younger

(in reply to vixenkneels)

Post #: 11

RE: Do you get kinkier the older you get? - 11/9/2007 7:08:09 AM

thehellcat

Posts: 12
Joined: 5/29/2007
Status: offline

OMG....do i ever! i could never have imagined how kinky i could become when i was in my 20's or 30's........now being in my 50's....wow...life just becomes more and exciting!!!.......*grins*

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 12

RE: Do you get kinkier the older you get? - 11/9/2007 7:14:28 AM

Vanatru

Posts: 300
Joined: 4/16/2004
Status: offline

maybe it's a comfort thing. Like as you do it more you become more comfortable in doing things you enjoy, cause I platued on my kinks a while back. But then, I've already explored most of what's out there that I'm interested in doing and have a definite opinion about what I enjoy. So, I'm not sure there is an ever increasing level of kink, just that different people explore the kinks at different rates according to their interests and nature.

(in reply to thehellcat)

Post #: 13

RE: Do you get kinkier the older you get? - 11/9/2007 7:18:44 AM

possessedone

Posts: 64
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline

I really don't think I get kinker as I get older. I think that now, having lived the life I have, it is more of a positive approach to life than I might have taken when I was younger. It is the opportunity to expand my horizons, to live and learn, in a way that was not possible before. Plus as I grow older I care less about what others consider normal and trying to fit in to groups, place, situations, etc., that I would have struggled for 20 years ago.

(in reply to thehellcat)

Post #: 14

RE: Do you get kinkier the older you get? - 11/9/2007 7:22:51 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

Is it just me, or do others feel they get kinkier and less inhibited the older they get?

For me, I've loved this lifestyle since I was a school-age child - I just didn't know how to recognize the feelings. My play with girlfriends was always restrained, low key, suggestive, without being overt. As I matured, my play became more realistic, migrating from holding her down for our pleasure to tying her hands & blindfolding her with anything convenient to eventually ensuring a convenient tie or scarf was always handy before I started.

Fast forwarding, I have an entire toy bag and wardrobe, and I even buy my beds with BDSM in mind, ensuring nice sturdy bedposts and the like.

My question.
- Is it just me or do others feel they've matured, more comfortably, and grown kinkier with age - even though the initial sensual feelings of erotic control are the same?

I know that I have. I think a lot of it relates to the broadening of horizons that yourMistress mentioned AND the finances coming around so that you do not feel as stressed and strained. When you are younger and struggling, it can be difficult to maintain the............percentage...of interest; simply because of kids being around, work assignments, etc., etc.. Of course, the younger people on here are proof that it can be done but it would be interesting to ask them how often they have to set kink aside because of the things noted above.

(in reply to pompeii)

Post #: 15

RE: Do you get kinkier the older you get? - 11/9/2007 8:10:11 AM

bipolarber

Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline

It's that darn Viagra! That's what it is! Suddenly, we guys don't have to put up with the indignity of our equipment becoming "uncooperative," at the ripe old age of 40. Then we start figuring... "Well, I've got a hard on that's satisfied my need in the first 15 minutes of it going into effect, what can I do with this for the next couple of hours...?" Thus, the road to kinky damnation is trod upon! LOL

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 16

RE: Do you get kinkier the older you get? - 11/9/2007 8:50:19 AM

daddyncherry

Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline

For me i have gotten a bit more open as i've gotten older, but it began when i was in my mid 20s and just keeps going. When i was younger i had alot of hang-ups, (alot of desires and inclinations too) and then, in my mid 20s i met someone who i could open up to almost completely (though unfortunately they weren't able to wrap their head around an M/s relationship.

As i get older i worry less about what others think of me and now, with my Master/Daddy i am able to actually begin to live out alot of what came to the forefront of my mind when i was in my 20s.

_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to bipolarber)

Post #: 17

RE: Do you get kinkier the older you get? - 11/9/2007 9:09:39 AM

MystressDream

Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

Is it just me, or do others feel they get kinkier and less inhibited the older they get?

For me, I've loved this lifestyle since I was a school-age child - I just didn't know how to recognize the feelings. My play with girlfriends was always restrained, low key, suggestive, without being overt. As I matured, my play became more realistic, migrating from holding her down for our pleasure to tying her hands & blindfolding her with anything convenient to eventually ensuring a convenient tie or scarf was always handy before I started.

Fast forwarding, I have an entire toy bag and wardrobe, and I even buy my beds with BDSM in mind, ensuring nice sturdy bedposts and the like.

My question.
- Is it just me or do others feel they've matured, more comfortably, and grown kinkier with age - even though the initial sensual feelings of erotic control are the same?

For me.... as I have aged, so have my interests, as almost all of you have said. I found that as I acquired more and more life experience and reached higher levels of self confidence, that I became less and less concerned with what others might think.

I agree with the comments about the being at a point in my life where I am not raising children and facing the day to day struggles of assuring the basic comforts of life, have let me focus more on the pleasurable side. But, I also believe that maturity is crucial in this lifestyle. Especially on the Dominant side. If you are going to take ownership of a submissive/slave, you damn well better have the maturity and knowledge to handle it. If you just want to "play" and "explore", that's great. Just be upfront about it.

I have been approached by teenagers wanting to be collared. I know people that young can and do have strong interests in what we do, but.... part of me wants to tell them to go out there and live life and experience all they can.... then, make this serious of a decision. I will probably get flamed for that opinion, but, it is mine, and I own it. <smile>

As I have lived in the world of D/s and BDSM, I have evolved into what I am today. I spent years in the "gotta play" mode. As many as 8 scenes a week.... trying everything I was interested in or curious about... within limits. I don't regret it for a minute. I loved doing that, and learned TONS of wonderful things.

But now.... I want more. I am envious of some of the M/s relationships I see. My social life and circle of friends is made up almost entirely by people who live this lifestyle, or are in the "scene" community. I have observed the players and their short term relationships. (And been active in that myself.) I have also observed the lifestylers who have made this work and have been in relationships for many years. I don't measure a "successful" relationship in terms of months... I measure it in terms of years... and, hopefully lifetime comittments. But, that's just me. <smile>

Wow... I guess I have gone off topic, and I apologize if I have offended by doing so.

Have I become more and more kinky with age? Oh YES.... For many reasons... and in many directions.

_____________________________

Knowledge and experience are wonderful things to share. When we stop asking questions, we might as well "hang it up".

check out: www.enclaveproductions.com
www.enclavewest.com

(in reply to pompeii)

Post #: 18

RE: Do you get kinkier the older you get? - 11/9/2007 10:49:37 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

The only problem with getting kinkier as you get older, is the pool of desirable and available candidates to be kinky with gets smaller.

It's like that Twilight Zone episode where the guy wanted nothing but time to read books and the world experienced a nuclear explosion that left him alone with all the books in the world to read.

And his glasses broke, leaving him blind.

So, while they say you age like fine wine (and I think I am) there are far less available wine drinkers after a certain age.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 11/9/2007 10:50:30 AM >

(in reply to MystressDream)

Post #: 19

RE: Do you get kinkier the older you get? - 11/9/2007 11:40:43 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

No. What you get, if you aren't afraid of the prospect, is more self aware. With that awareness comes more confidence, bringing with it the willingness and ability to try new things. You appreciate more of the subtle nuances of various sensations. You become aware of more opportunities. Callouses form where the sensation has become redundant and relief comes from doing something different even if it results in forming a blister. Sure those blisters can be painful, but that's how you know you are alive!

The risk of 'blisters' is easier from an vantage point of getting older, especially if your ambition is to live and not just survive. The willingness to try new things is a function of being able to laugh, or at least smile, at failure. Having a partner "age" with you with equal confidence and willing to appreciate the fun of something unique is invaluable. Fun lasts longer because the memory is shared.

Getting older usually means you've experienced a few things in your life that enlighten you to properly prioritize. You may still think your youthful thoughts of invincibility, but you know pragmatically you are not. In the face of that reality, 'Miles' famous line from the movie 'Risky Business' comes into play; "Joel, you wanna know something? Every now and then say, "What the fuck." "What the fuck" gives you freedom."

The older you get the more, "What the fuck" gets applied. 'Kink' is just one aspect.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 20

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