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RE: Just one thing - 10/27/2007 7:42:48 PM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

I've nothing wise to impart, just wanted to say it's good to see you posting again MFM

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~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

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RE: Just one thing - 10/27/2007 7:49:18 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

My advice:
Dont assume becasue you call yourself Dominant you will be respected. Dont assume becasue you call yourself submissive you will be disrespected.

Do not forget the person you are addressing is a human being, they have feelings just like yours.

Never ask if anyone has ever done *blank*, the answer will be yes. Somewhere, someone has.

Do not try and force your kink on someone else, you wouldnt like it if they forced theirs on you.

Do not badmouth others to make yourself look better. It doesnt tend to work out that way.

Take the time to read the profiles, or dont bother writing to someone.

And last but certainly not least
Do not make a laundrylist of hard limits when you have no experience. You cannot be sure you hate something if you have never tried it. Be open to experimenting, with the understanding it might be a limit after youve seen how it goes.

DV

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I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to AEslaveM)

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Post #: 42

RE: Just one thing - 10/27/2007 8:05:23 PM

brightspot

Posts: 3052
Status: offline

Remember to have a good sense of humor,
laugh and enjoy the ride.

Missy.

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"Comedy is NOT Pretty!" ~Peter Nelson

But..."May at Least One person have a sense of Humor!" ~KML.

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Post #: 43

RE: Just one thing - 10/27/2007 8:59:47 PM

Shawn1066

Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline

Make new friends, and keep the old. One is silver and the other's gold...

Good advice. :-p

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Post #: 44

RE: Just one thing - 10/27/2007 9:47:20 PM

TakenPet

Posts: 147
Joined: 1/12/2007
Status: offline

Trust yourself and never be afraid of the unknown it might be more fun than you think. Be careful and have fun.

(in reply to AEslaveM)

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Post #: 45

RE: Just one thing - 10/27/2007 11:24:17 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

With the noob slant on your question, I notice a few things that seem common in new relationships so I give you 3 answers for the price of one.

”When in charge take charge” -Colin Powell

Also:

-=HOW TO BEGIN A SUCCESSFUL POWER EXCHANGE=-
Even in the very beginnings of a power exchange relationship, when you don't “trust each other with your lives” yet, nothing in the emotional connection can be private. Not one fear, lust, kink or emotion can be withheld in the beginning if you plan to succeed. You may not have each other's banking information at that point but, nothing is secret when relevant to exposing who you are, what you want, how you feel or what you do. To exchange control, you both must expose yourselves in order to learn. How can you start a power exchange if you don't know what makes the other person tic, what power to give or take? There can be no secrets, especially if it conflicts with paying respect to the bond. Neither Master nor slave can hold secrets or limit exposure if they are to succeed. There must be complete exposure. Treat the power exchange with respect, remain exposed and steadfast in your roles.
(from: http://www.residentsadist.com/bdsm-philosophy.html)

Also:

-=BE ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR CHOICE TO SURRENDER=-
Do not fight for control if you choose to give it away. It is a common mistake I see when a slave/sub starts losing the feeling of being controlled and does not examine their own responsibility for the change as well as Masters.

I believe this happens when they don’t take responsibility for the fact that it is was their choice to surrender in the first place. They feel “held in place” by Master’s actions more than her own choices. A Master’s actions can only serve remind a slave of her place. Forced seduction and capture are a common romantic slave fantasy but, when the lines between the reality of their choices and her fantasy collide, they need to deal with it and hold their place with the Master. Neither surrendering nor choosing that Master were forced.

A slave/sub needs to stand accountable for their choices. Misplacing blame or credit for surrender is emotionally abusive. If you want a Master to own you, act like his slave and surrender yourself to him.
(from: http://www.residentsadist.com/bdsm-philosophy.html)

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I give good thread.

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Post #: 46

RE: Just one thing - 10/27/2007 11:32:05 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

Use your head, trust your gut and follow your heart. When all three of those are in sync, you have a fighting chance. When any one of those is screaming for attention that something is wrong ask yourself
'why' that part isn't working and be honest with the answer then live with the choices you make.

Celeste

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"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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Post #: 47

RE: Just one thing - 10/28/2007 12:17:54 AM

EvilGeoff

Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

Rule #1 - Trust NO ONE, including me. On the internet, anyone can CLAIM to be anything. The overwhelming majority of the people online claiming to be Dominants, are, in fact, not. Most are just horney net geeks trying to get a nut. Some are users and abusers using BDSM as a cover and excuse for their abusive behavior. Some are just assholes wearing black leather. Some are just looking for a way to get you to finance their lifestyle.

Rule #2 - The ones who start raising hell with Rule #1 can be written off as posers.

Rule #3 - By their words AND DEEDS shall ye know them. Look for consistency of conduct and words. Take TIME to evaluate someone. And by time I don't mean 3 hours. It might take 3 months or even 3 years... 3 emails and a photo are no way to determine if someone else is relationship material. That cute busty 23 year old blonde submissive might, in actuality, be a 54 year old, balding, male accountant named Murray who lives in his mom's basement in Des Moines...

YIK,
- Geoff

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Post #: 48

RE: Just one thing - 10/28/2007 10:38:36 AM

rmanrr

Posts: 358
Joined: 7/25/2006
Status: offline

Greetings
quick reply not reading all the rest. advice? Be your own best counsel, use the sense that was given to you and be yourself"

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Jarl Rmanrr

"the road untravelled is the loneliest." Me
Courage...the ability to overcome obstacles during the course.
"to be insane is to be original!"...Me

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