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ResidentSadist -> RE: Just one thing (10/27/2007 11:24:17 PM)
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With the noob slant on your question, I notice a few things that seem common in new relationships so I give you 3 answers for the price of one. ”When in charge take charge” -Colin Powell Also: -=HOW TO BEGIN A SUCCESSFUL POWER EXCHANGE=- Even in the very beginnings of a power exchange relationship, when you don't “trust each other with your lives” yet, nothing in the emotional connection can be private. Not one fear, lust, kink or emotion can be withheld in the beginning if you plan to succeed. You may not have each other's banking information at that point but, nothing is secret when relevant to exposing who you are, what you want, how you feel or what you do. To exchange control, you both must expose yourselves in order to learn. How can you start a power exchange if you don't know what makes the other person tic, what power to give or take? There can be no secrets, especially if it conflicts with paying respect to the bond. Neither Master nor slave can hold secrets or limit exposure if they are to succeed. There must be complete exposure. Treat the power exchange with respect, remain exposed and steadfast in your roles. (from: http://www.residentsadist.com/bdsm-philosophy.html) Also: -=BE ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR CHOICE TO SURRENDER=- Do not fight for control if you choose to give it away. It is a common mistake I see when a slave/sub starts losing the feeling of being controlled and does not examine their own responsibility for the change as well as Masters. I believe this happens when they don’t take responsibility for the fact that it is was their choice to surrender in the first place. They feel “held in place” by Master’s actions more than her own choices. A Master’s actions can only serve remind a slave of her place. Forced seduction and capture are a common romantic slave fantasy but, when the lines between the reality of their choices and her fantasy collide, they need to deal with it and hold their place with the Master. Neither surrendering nor choosing that Master were forced. A slave/sub needs to stand accountable for their choices. Misplacing blame or credit for surrender is emotionally abusive. If you want a Master to own you, act like his slave and surrender yourself to him. (from: http://www.residentsadist.com/bdsm-philosophy.html)
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