Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Is it just me or do we all lose our erotic creativity after orgasm?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Is it just me or do we all lose our erotic creativity after orgasm? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Is it just me or do we all lose our erotic creativity a... - 10/22/2007 8:49:43 PM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline 		Maybe it's just me; maybe it's men in general; maybe it's all of us?
I wonder ...

I have a tremendous amount of erotic creativity BEFORE orgasm. This creativity helps in long BDSM sessions by building up to the eventual orgasm, her first, then me.

Moments after orgasm, all my creativity leaves my body. For example, if she's still restrained, she looks silly whereas moments before she was a seductive little slave girl spinning yarn at my feet.  The only thing I want to do after orgasm is rest with her head in my lap, petting her hair, or other non-kinky interaction. This decidedly non-kink refractory period lasts for hours, and, sometimes, after an entire afternoon of kink, even for a day or two, amazingly.

Is it just me, or do others lose all their erotic creativity after orgasm?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Is it just me or do we all lose our erotic creativi... - 10/22/2007 8:54:08 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

Maybe it's just me; maybe it's men in general; maybe it's all of us?
I wonder ...

I have a tremendous amount of erotic creativity BEFORE orgasm. This creativity helps in long BDSM sessions by building up to the eventual orgasm, her first, then me.

Moments after orgasm, all my creativity leaves my body. For example, if she's still restrained, she looks silly whereas moments before she was a seductive little slave girl spinning yarn at my feet.  The only thing I want to do after orgasm is rest with her head in my lap, petting her hair, or other non-kinky interaction. This decidedly non-kink refractory period lasts for hours, and, sometimes, after an entire afternoon of kink, even for a day or two, amazingly.

Is it just me, or do others lose all their erotic creativity after orgasm?



In men, the drive exits with the sperm. There is a huge draw down of our spirtual energy-meant to go to the woman, to quicken the seed. I get round it by over energizing my body before sessions-lots of energy foods and rest-and pacing myself during. Sometimes I will forgo orgasms till later on in the day. Due to the fact that I don't want a girl feeling me "going away" when she needs suppport after intensity like that. I like sex, but I can get orgasms with no help from anyone else. When I am with a bottom, I make art-and that is much more to me than any little nerve tingle in my groin could EVER be.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Is it just me or do we all lose our erotic creativi... - 10/22/2007 9:19:02 PM   
Gwynvyd


Posts: 4949
Status: offline 		I find if the male "taps the keg" before the scene or before they even come over it tends to help... unless you have someone who can show and help you along with tantric non ejaculate based orgasms I think that will be your best bet.

I have helped reset my slaves drive so that he can climax with out ejaculating.. it comes in handy so he keeps his drive.. and his wits about him. Once the cum goes so does the will, drive, and mind. Well in most cases any ways.

Good luck!

Gwyn

_____________________________

Self avowed Geek-Girl~
Come for the boobs, stay for the brains.

Be the kinda woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the Devil says "Oh shit, shes awake..."
~ Softandshy's "Shiney"

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Is it just me or do we all lose our erotic creativi... - 10/22/2007 9:23:25 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Remember, orgasm and ejaculation are separate actions, orgasm doesn't cause the effect you are speaking of, it is ejaculation that causes both the loss of erection and the resultant loss of interest.  Learn to control and seperate the two and  you can have a lot of fun.

Nothing like filling your rape victim with cum and then cuddling together and falling asleep together. 

(in reply to Gwynvyd)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Is it just me or do we all lose our erotic creativi... - 10/22/2007 9:42:25 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		My former dom saw his orgasm as clearing the slate for more intense play.  :) We would go through a few of his orgasms and countless numbers of my own.
No wonder he is hard to forget if other men are only good for one.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Is it just me or do we all lose our erotic creativi... - 10/22/2007 10:32:54 PM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline 		I'm not a man but I lose a good deal of my motivation after an orgasm. Not as much as males I've encountered do, but it's definitely noticeable to me.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Is it just me or do we all lose our erotic creativi... - 10/22/2007 11:37:47 PM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline
quote:

orgasm and ejaculation are separate actions


Huh? When I was in third or fourth grade, orgasm wasn't accompanied by ejaculation - but since about fifth grade - no way.

Is there any guy out there who has had orgasm without ejaculation? I'm amazed that I, an old fart, can learn something new every gosh-darned day! I never would've believed it possible. Wow.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Is it just me or do we all lose our erotic creativi... - 10/22/2007 11:43:44 PM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		And the problem is?

_____________________________

Boycott Whales!

(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Is it just me or do we all lose our erotic creativi... - 10/23/2007 12:42:27 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		I'm female so this isn't an issue for me as there's not a limit other than physical soreness to how many orgasms I can have.  In the Domme role my level of arousal isn't really a necessity to wanting to play or engage in kink, I'm evil like that.

I can't say I've ever been in a situation where a Dom attempted to continue a scene after orgasm personally, but then again, it's not up to me.  I have heard similar statements from other men however.

I guess the question is why it is so concerning to you.  As a sub I don't think I'd have much issue with someone wanting to hold me and touch me at times and would welcome the personal/physical interaction.
l

(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Is it just me or do we all lose our erotic creativi... - 10/23/2007 1:17:19 AM   
brightspot


Posts: 3052
Status: offline 		~FR~
No not me, but then I love to have multiple
orgasms.
 
Missy.

_____________________________

"Comedy is NOT Pretty!" ~Peter Nelson

But..."May at Least One person have a sense of Humor!" ~KML.

http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile-TD4TwEw8crWS3GHFDcs_DK1rHmW6Dq_E;_ylt=Av2PfG9gH0wkQrMPivuMCivGAOJ3

(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Is it just me or do we all lose our erotic creativi... - 10/23/2007 1:48:12 AM   
MidnightMaiden


Posts: 142
Joined: 10/22/2007
Status: offline 		A good climax and I am spent, satiated, sleepy.  If I am kept in a state of arousal without climax I can go all day long, I can have multiple orgasms vaginally (internally) and beg for more, but one big clitoral orgasm and I am looking for my blankie.

(in reply to brightspot)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Is it just me or do we all lose our erotic creativi... - 10/23/2007 1:55:27 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

Is it just me, or do others lose all their erotic creativity after orgasm?



Quite the opposite.
Read my posts ..........

(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Is it just me or do we all lose our erotic creativi... - 10/23/2007 2:25:04 AM   
SixFootMaster


Posts: 829
Joined: 9/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

Maybe it's just me; maybe it's men in general; maybe it's all of us?
I wonder ...

I have a tremendous amount of erotic creativity BEFORE orgasm. This creativity helps in long BDSM sessions by building up to the eventual orgasm, her first, then me.

Moments after orgasm, all my creativity leaves my body. For example, if she's still restrained, she looks silly whereas moments before she was a seductive little slave girl spinning yarn at my feet.  The only thing I want to do after orgasm is rest with her head in my lap, petting her hair, or other non-kinky interaction. This decidedly non-kink refractory period lasts for hours, and, sometimes, after an entire afternoon of kink, even for a day or two, amazingly.

Is it just me, or do others lose all their erotic creativity after orgasm?



Not just you, but you do get a "second wind" - longer stamina, longer play time, between sessions. Take a five or ten minute break and enjoy the girl, do what gets your blood up again, you'll find yourself raring to go before long.

(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Is it just me or do we all lose our erotic creativi... - 10/23/2007 2:35:58 AM   
MistressMaamNH


Posts: 211
Joined: 8/11/2004
Status: offline 		That's rather like asking
"why do I lose the urge to scratch an itch, after I've already finished scratching it?" or
"why do I not feel like eating anymore, after satisfying my hunger with a full meal?"  hehe 
No matter how big of a build up and anticipation...once the need has been satiated....it's pretty much over for awhile.  It's your body's way of saying, enjoy the afterglow and let yourself recover for a bit.

_____________________________

Let Me lay you softly, down onto the thorns...

(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Is it just me or do we all lose our erotic creativi... - 10/23/2007 4:51:49 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Well put MistressMaamNH

(in reply to MistressMaamNH)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Is it just me or do we all lose our erotic creativi... - 10/23/2007 6:07:33 AM   
Daddyskittin


Posts: 58
Joined: 9/18/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

Maybe it's just me; maybe it's men in general; maybe it's all of us?
I wonder ...

I have a tremendous amount of erotic creativity BEFORE orgasm. This creativity helps in long BDSM sessions by building up to the eventual orgasm, her first, then me.

Moments after orgasm, all my creativity leaves my body. For example, if she's still restrained, she looks silly whereas moments before she was a seductive little slave girl spinning yarn at my feet.  The only thing I want to do after orgasm is rest with her head in my lap, petting her hair, or other non-kinky interaction. This decidedly non-kink refractory period lasts for hours, and, sometimes, after an entire afternoon of kink, even for a day or two, amazingly.

Is it just me, or do others lose all their erotic creativity after orgasm?



It's just you..... LOL jk... I would take a guess that is the norm... I guess because orgasms just fuel my Doms fire for more intensive activities.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

quote:

orgasm and ejaculation are separate actions


Huh? When I was in third or fourth grade, orgasm wasn't accompanied by ejaculation - but since about fifth grade - no way.

Is there any guy out there who has had orgasm without ejaculation? I'm amazed that I, an old fart, can learn something new every gosh-darned day! I never would've believed it possible. Wow.



With both of us orgasms, and ejaculations can be together or seperate... He can have extremely intense orgasms with barely a trace of ejaculation accompany them... and then sometimes he will ejaculate 2 to 3 times in a matter of moments... and then there are yet other times when he has one big orgasm/ejaculation in which he lets go in small amounts over the period of a few hours...

LOL I've never been a fan of the saying... you can't teach an old dog.......... I prefer ... You can learn something new everyday.



_____________________________

Daddyskittin... formally YourShyPet

myspace.com/daddys_kittin

(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Is it just me or do we all lose our erotic creativi... - 10/23/2007 6:15:42 AM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring
And the problem is?


Well, basically, I ENJOY the erotic thoughts and creativity to play with a willing sub, the way she looks, the way she feels, the way I make her feel. However, after orgasm, I'm surprised that all that eroticism melts away and, it all just seems silly. That's what I'm trying to get to the bottom of.

Why is a seductively arranged woman so extremely erotic one moment, yet, for the next, not erotic anymore. I lose my command structure and go into a cuddle mode. I'm kind'a wondering why, I guess, I go from erotic command to soft cuddle simply because of an ejaculation/orgasm pair.

It doesn't amaze you this unconscious dichotomy occurs?

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Is it just me or do we all lose our erotic creativi... - 10/23/2007 6:24:02 AM   
lateralist1


Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		I don't have a tremendous amount of real time experience because I can't find the right sub but so far it really does depend on the situation. Some times I'm sated after one or multiple orgasms sometimes I'm not. Sometimes BDSM activities are sexual sometimes they aren't. More often they are so I like to do BDSM with a sexual partner. And the right sexual partner or partners. Hence the lack of experience.
So it really does depend on the situation. I've said this before but I don't 'play' I want to be in a committed BDSM relationship and that means a sexual one for me.
I have always known that a good BDSM relationships would be a lot harder to find and keep than a vanilla one. And vanilla is hard enough. Anyway back to rewriting the profile lol.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Is it just me or do we all lose our erotic creativi... - 10/23/2007 6:42:17 AM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		It's pretty much standard with males. Orgasm releases a set of hormones that cause us to become lethargic and sleepy for about a half an hour. It's nature's way of keeping us close to the female we'vebeen trying to impregnate. :) But luckily, the refractory period, the "breather" we take before starting the whole process over again is also very short. Someone once said that you can gauge it by your age... about 20 minutes for an 18 year old, about 30 minutes for a 30 year old, etc.

Now, with the women in my experience, the situation varies a great deal. Some of them seem to be charged up by orgasm, others react more like males... Zzzzzzzzz.

And if you are both really in the mood for a marathon, I'd suggest 30mg of Viagra. (The highest dosage available, without special Rx) Which will keep you going for several hours. Although, it does nothing to inspire passion... the "creativity" of which you speak... but at least your body is "up" for the long haul.


(in reply to lateralist1)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Is it just me or do we all lose our erotic creativi... - 10/23/2007 7:26:29 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

quote:

orgasm and ejaculation are separate actions


Huh? When I was in third or fourth grade, orgasm wasn't accompanied by ejaculation - but since about fifth grade - no way.

Is there any guy out there who has had orgasm without ejaculation? I'm amazed that I, an old fart, can learn something new every gosh-darned day! I never would've believed it possible. Wow.



Like most things sexual and sprititual, the East is far ahead of us.  Basically, the male learns to control the same muscles you use to stop peeing to prevent ejaculation.  You experience a softer orgasm but one you can have over and over again.  Years ago I had gotten pretty good at it but my last partner was quite delicate and there was no point in prolonging things.  My current partner is insatiable in a wonderful way and when we live together I am going to have to relearn this skill in order to survive...

Pick up a copy of The Multi Orgasmic Man, not the easiest read but it is the most accessible source for this info.

(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Is it just me or do we all lose our erotic creativity after orgasm? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.074