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Instant Dom - 10/17/2007 9:34:12 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I have a lot of Submissive/Slave friends. I always have guys asking me if I could send one of then their way. They believe that it would make them an instant Dom. I'm tempted to send them a SAM but I would hate to see their ego destroyed. How would you handle the request? 
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Instant Dom - 10/17/2007 9:39:07 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		Send one to them, let them learn that having a sub / slave doesn't an instant Dom make for themselves.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Instant Dom - 10/17/2007 9:39:34 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		I 'd just say..ya, her therapy and meds seem to be working...kinda sorta....... 

Oh, and are you good at changing diapers? I know one that........

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Instant Dom - 10/17/2007 9:44:15 AM   
corsetgirl


Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline 		I agree as I believe the work of a dom training a sub takes time to develop and these instant doms have no clue and a SAM would probably be very draining to their psyche.

I have known a dom who introduced a sub to another dom.  He is more of a mentor to this sub.  These doms have known each other for quite some time and are respected friends. 

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Instant Dom - 10/17/2007 9:47:41 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I have a lot of Submissive/Slave friends. I always have guys asking me if I could send one of then their way. They believe that it would make them an instant Dom. I'm tempted to send them a SAM but I would hate to see their ego destroyed. How would you handle the request? 


If you want to stay friends,  you should accompany them for a while and kinda go out to dinner and talk about it.  Back your wares both ways. I could say more, but....let this be sufficient trouble for today.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Instant Dom - 10/17/2007 9:47:57 AM   
canupleaseme


Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		whats a SAM ?   I personally wouldnt send my friends anyone if they were domme and wanted a boy I knew purely becasue if it didnt work out I wouldnt hear the end of it and would be made to feel bad for all the crap.

_____________________________

Proud mistress

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Instant Dom - 10/17/2007 9:50:39 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Smart Assed Masochist:   one who inveigles beatings.



_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to canupleaseme)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Instant Dom - 10/17/2007 9:54:35 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		I have a lot of submissive/slave friends and a lot of dominant friends....and some of them are single and seeking. Unfortunately though, of the single ones that I know, I don't think that any of them would make good matches for each other. So, that is what I tell them.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Instant Dom - 10/17/2007 9:55:03 AM   
canupleaseme


Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		I learn a new thing each day on here lol

_____________________________

Proud mistress

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Instant Dom - 10/17/2007 9:59:47 AM   
LadyRope


Posts: 64
Joined: 7/19/2005
Status: offline 		Hello everyone;
In the past I introduced femdom friends to submissive men I have as friends but the condition always was that I was there to mentor,both parties appreciated it and felt that it was the best way to handle someone who is new at being dom ..that way I also knew that my friend who was submissive was safe. In other words I agree with Ron..

(in reply to canupleaseme)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Instant Dom - 10/17/2007 10:04:28 AM   
NLitendLady


Posts: 117
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline 		Just out of curiousity have you shared with your "insta dom" friends the responsibilities that go with being a Dominant? Do they know it's more than just beat them, use them to cum and that's it?

A SAM would put them through their paces. Thats for certain. They might not ever think about it again. Too docile a sub might make them just want more.

All too many out there look at only the pleasure they would obtain and forget about the responsibility or that they are dealing with another human being.

I would be adamant about being there to oversee so no one got carried away. A SAM with an overzealous wanna be could prove dangerous.

Just my 2 cents.

< Message edited by NLitendLady -- 10/17/2007 10:08:21 AM >

(in reply to canupleaseme)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Instant Dom - 10/17/2007 10:09:27 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		If these slaves and submissives are actually your friends, why would you send them to someone who doesn't know what he is doing?  Hopefully you would tell them that, first...??

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Instant Dom - 10/17/2007 10:11:51 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		canupleaseme thats why I read these forums. There is always something new that you did'nt think of. I always ask someone new what they envision a Dom is. I usually refer them to the forums here at CM. If you have to ask someone to help you get a sub/slave then you arent putting enough effort into it.  

(in reply to LadyRope)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Instant Dom - 10/17/2007 10:16:15 AM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		If their egos are that easily destroyed, then they need to toughen up.

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Instant Dom - 10/17/2007 10:19:37 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		On a more serious note, I would have to know both parties. And be tutoring the other Top. I can't help develop anyone ele's style-but I can sure as hell teach safe and effective technique. And for me to even bother) I have to see a guy be able to use valid relationship techniques.

Rules and structure are used as a cop out/substitute by far too many lazy Tops. You have to show me that you are a decent human being, for me to invest anything into you-Top OR bottom.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Instant Dom - 10/17/2007 10:22:04 AM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline 		Send one right on over...they'll be quite disappointed when the 'submissive' is less likely to do what they want than a 'vanilla' girl is because we need to sense some inherent dominance.

And if they are in fact dominant but have repressed it...well then you just might end up the best man at their wedding

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Instant Dom - 10/17/2007 10:22:29 AM   
NLitendLady


Posts: 117
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

On a more serious note, I would have to know both parties. And be tutoring the other Top. I can't help develop anyone ele's style-but I can sure as hell teach safe and effective technique. And for me to even bother) I have to see a guy be able to use valid relationship techniques.

Rules and structure are used as a cop out/substitute by far too many lazy Tops. You have to show me that you are a decent human being, for me to invest anything into you-Top OR bottom.



That is a wonderful standard to maintain.

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Instant Dom - 10/17/2007 11:56:55 AM   
Phin


Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline 		insta-dom, hmmm??


tell them they need to add more water, when they tell you that they have, tell them they added too much...

_____________________________

"Isn't wonderful when our bruises show what we hide in the back of our heads?"Fayetteville band, Nephilym

"He is my angel, my devil, my naughty boy, but above anything else my Master"My girl sin

(in reply to NLitendLady)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Instant Dom - 10/17/2007 12:03:05 PM   
jesiul


Posts: 111
Joined: 7/16/2005
Status: offline 		Instant Dom? My first thought was send them a submissive switch and have her show him how to use various implements ON HIM… that should cure the send me a subbie so I can practice issues.

_____________________________

*When others asked the truth of me, I was convinced it was not the truth they wanted, but an illusion they could bear to live with.*

(in reply to Phin)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Instant Dom - 10/17/2007 12:06:26 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jesiul

Instant Dom? My first thought was send them a submissive switch and have her show him how to use various implements ON HIM… that should cure the send me a subbie so I can practice issues.


I learned a lot from the bottom end myself. And I am not wired maso. Made me have to think of beating ass a bit more seriously.........you never forget things like this.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to jesiul)
Profile   Post #: 20
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